Disclaimer: SM owns Twilight

"The Plan"

Song for the chapter: "Goldrushed" by The Royal Concept

BPOV

"You're shitting me, right?" He had to be. Otherwise he really had lost his mind.

He didn't seem to be joking though. "Just think about it, B. I want Rosalie and you want Jasper. The only way to make them realize they want us is if we're unavailable."

I took a sip of my coffee, trying to wrap my head around this soap opera idea he'd just proposed. "You do realize this would mean acting like a couple, holding hands, kissing? All that lovey dovey shit. We'd have to act like that. Together."

"Oh wait? You mean, we'd be acting like a couple? Forget it then," he scoffed. "No fucking shit, B. Of fucking course I realized that."

I rolled my eyes. "Just making sure, Ed."

Now he rolled his eyes. "Come on, its not like either of us are totally hideous or anything. You're hot, I'm hot. We can pretend to be into each other for like a month. It'll be easy. And don't call me Ed."

"If we do this, and that's a big fat 'if', I will have to come up with much worse pet names for you other than Ed. I'm talking 'snugglebear,' 'Eddiepoo,' 'sweetcheeks'. Other things equally as barf worthy as that."

He laughed, taking a bite of his pie. "Whatever you say, Belly Button Bottom Bella."

I tried not to laugh while taking another sip of my coffee. "This is your worst idea yet."

Later that night, I lied awake in bed thinking of what Edward had proposed. Don't get me wrong, it was a truly heinous and disastrous plan in the making, but there were worse things right?

I mean, the worst thing that could happen was maybe Jasper or Rosalie figuring out what we were doing and thinking we were retarded. It wasn't like they didn't know we liked them. Everyone liked them. At least, I think Jasper knew I liked him. How could he not? And best case scenario, Jasper and I end up together while Edward and Rosalie end up together. Maybe we could even double sometimes.

Shit, it was such a complicated mess. This would probably only complicate things more.

But I'd wasted so many years pining after Jasper it was about damn time I did something about it. It wasn't like Rosalie was my friend anyway. I wouldn't feel remotely bad about taking her boyfriend. Of course, I wouldn't be happy if her and Edward got together, but I was positive once Edward got the quality time of being her boyfriend he'd back out after a week. She truly was a primadonna. How Jasper stood it, I'll never know. Probably something to do with her Double D's.

Also, Edward was right. He was hot. There are a lot worse people to pretend to be a couple with than him. People already thought we were by the amount of time we spent together. We'd known each other since 4th grade and that whole love bit was just not there for us.

I sighed, picking up my phone. I pulled up mine and Edward's texts and started a message.

"I have a realllly bad feeling about this, but . . . I'm in."

I hovered over the "send" button. What's the worst thing that could happen? We end up single and lonely like we are now?

I took a breath and hit "send".

Almost as quickly as it said "delivered", he was typing. I laughed out loud. At least he was enthusiastic about this.

"YESSSS! I'll be the best fake boyfriend you've EVER had."

I sighed, fighting a smile as I replied back.

"Here's hoping you'll be the only fake boyfriend I ever have."

"This was a fucking stupid idea."

Edward groaned. "Shut up, Swan. It was brilliant."

"Oh, really, Edward? Was it? Because we're acting like a couple and Rosalie and Jasper haven't even so much as looked in our direction, so was it really a good idea? Are you sure?" I pulled my hand out of his, wiping his palm sweat on my jeans. "Also, why the fuck is your hand so sweaty?"

"You can be such a bitch. And my hands aren't sweaty, yours are," he said defensively, wiping both his hands on his jeans.

"Uh, no, their not, but that's not the point. The point is we're holding hands and no one has even taken a second glance at us. Clearly, we're doing this wrong."

He sighed, leaning back against my locker. We were both staring at Jasper and Rosalie who had been swapping spit for at least 10 minutes straight. That's dedication, right there. I'd never kissed someone for more than 5 consecutive minutes and my lips had been so sore the next day.

"Maybe we should just start making out like them," He said after a minute.

I laughed out loud. "Now that's the worst idea you've ever had."

He looked offended.

"Oh, Edward, don't get your panties in a twist. You know you're cute. But I'm sorry I don't feel like kissing you at school in the middle of a hallway at 8:30 in the morning. We just had orange juice and bacon. Ew."

"Okay, good point, but still. We're probably going to have to kiss at some point, you know."

Only then did it dawn on me that we'd have to do that. I wasn't thrilled. I was actually quite horrified.

"But… why?"

He looked at me like I had grown a second head. "Because usually, when two people go out and become boyfriend and girlfriend, they kiss and such. Sometimes, even on the lips."

I smacked his arm as the bell rang. "Go suck a dick, Cullen." I started to walk off.

"That'll be your job, Swan!" He called out after me. I flipped him the bird without turning around.

Later in Study Hall, I had just plugged in my earphones when one was ripped out.

I turned my head to see Edward scooting his chair close to mine.

"Uh, Edward, I'm not kissing you now either."

He rolled his eyes, scooting closer. Once he felt his chair was close enough, he put his backpack on the table, getting situated.

"You know, you can just sit on my lap if you want."

He ignored me, pulling out a very detailed sketch of . . . something. "Okay, I spent all of English planning this."

"What is it exactly?"

"Shut up and I'll explain."

I laughed. "Ooh, feisty."

Mrs. Bright shushed me, glaring fiercely.

Edward smirked. "Okay," he started quietly. "Stacy George is having a party this Friday. Obviously, everyone is going to be there. I say we show up there, and 'accidentally' get caught making out. Leading up to it this week, we need to be really flirty with each other. Extra touchy and shit like that. You need to giggle and blush a lot. Pretend you're talking to Jasper when you talk to me." I was already blushing. "And then Friday, we'll make out and all that jazz, then Saturday we'll go Facebook official, and top it off by going to the movies Saturday night."

"Okay, your party plan sounds like the exact plot of Easy A minus you being gay. But . . . dammit, that might work."

He smiled broadly, momentarily distracting me. He really was an attractive guy. "I know, right? Fuck, I'm awesome!"

Mrs. Bright shushed him now. It was my turn to smirk.

"Okay, but what is this sketch even of?"

"Stacy's house. Obviously everyone is going to be hot tubbing it and if we start out that way, being flirty and all that shit, then later we'll go behind that tree by the hot tub and make out there."

I raised my eyebrows. His sketch looked nothing like that. "You are a terrible artist."

He stole my bag of goldfish, throwing a bunch into his mouth. "You're just jealous you didn't think of this first."

"Yeah, that's it," I scoffed, pulling out my Pre-Cal homework. It was hard to focus with him being that close though. I could hear his chewing as if I was chewing the goldfish myself. "So is you're being this close part of the 'be flirty all week' part of the plan?"

"Yep," he whispered back. "Also, you smell really good."

I couldn't tell if that was him being flirty or just Edward, but regardless, I imagined Jasper saying that to me, and sure enough, blushed and giggled a little. Edward didn't seem to notice thankfully.

About 45 minutes later, the bell rang, signaling the end of the period, and the beginning of lunch.

"Okay, be flirty with me. Alright?"

I groaned, grabbing my backpack. "Have I mentioned this plan sucks ass?"

"Only a few times."

We walked through the crowds in the hall toward our lockers.

Rosalie and Jasper were making out again by theirs, making me want to vomit and cry.

Jessica walked up to us, rolling her eyes. "Good Lord, do they ever stop?"

"Nope. They do two things. Be heartbreakingly attractive and make out with each other, absorbing each others good looks and becoming even more attractive."

Jess snorted, grabbing her lunch out of her locker, before walking over to them. She smacked Rosalie's ass. "Come on, you horndogs. I'm hungry."

Rosalie kissed Jasper once more, before laughing and smacking Jessica's ass. "What else is new?"

Jasper looked across the hallway, beaming right at me. "Little Bella," he drawled out, instantly making me a pile of goo. "Come on," he raised an arm, indicating for me to follow him.

I was about to take a step forward when I felt the slightest pinch from Edward on the back of my hip. "Um," I stuttered out. "I'll be there in a minute. I'm waiting for Edward."

Jasper shrugged, still smiling, and walked after Jess and Rosalie, clapping Emmett on the back who had just walked up to him.

When they were out of sight, I collapsed against the lockers. "Well, that really got him. He's in a fit of jealous rage."

"Patience, Little Bella," Edward crooned, doing a terrible job of impersonating Jasper.

I smacked his chest. "Shut up. You know he's irresistible."

"I don't get it. He sounds high all the time. But whatever."

I gasped. "He does not! I don't get the appeal of Rosalie. Sure, she's hot and all, but god, she's a pill."

"Yeah, and that pill is Viagra." Edward finally shut his locker, holding a water bottle and sandwich in his hand. "She has a great personality, mind you. And also great sense of humor. Remember when she joked that Abraham Lincoln was our first president? That was adorable."

"If by joke, you mean, she was being 100% serious, and by adorable, you mean, completely terrifying and retarded, then yes, it was funny and 'adorable'."

Edward laughed out loud, making me smile as we walked down the mostly deserted hall. He took forever sorting through all the shit in his locker.

"Come on, you know you'd do her if you were into chicks."

I grimaced. "I like to think my bullshit radar would still be in tact if I was swinging for the other team."

He swung an arm around my shoulder, as we got closer to the cafeteria. Something that was a normal thing, but now that I knew he was doing it to flirt, it made me feel self-conscious about how I moved next to him.

"Alright, don't get awkward when we get in there. We need to just like talk to each other, okay?" He squeezed my arm, before opening the door and taking away my opportunity to protest.

The cafeteria was loud as always. We made our way to our normal table where Jasper, Rosalie, Jessica, Emmett, Alice, Leah, and Jake were all sitting. I took the spot next to Jake, saying hi to everybody. Edward surprised me by sitting beside me, once again too close for comfort, with a leg on either side of the bench.

Jake bro hugged him, squishing me in the process, cracking a joke about how small I was. Being 5'2, I was used to these.

"So what are you doing after school?" Edward asked once everyone had broken into their own conversations.

"Not sure. I was either going to go to the gym or just go home and nap."

"I vote we go home and nap," he said, filling his mouth up with my chips.

"Oh, so you're coming over now? And stop eating my food." I grabbed my chips out of his hands and stuffed them in my mouth before he could complain.

"Yes, and I really do want to sleep. I'm really tired. You kept me up all night with the texts."

I titled my head. "What te-" I stopped short at Edward's slight wide eyes. I guess this meant Jasper or Rosalie were now paying attention to us. I let out an awkward laugh. "Well, I told you it would have been quicker if we just called each other."

He let out an awkward laugh of his own. "Then we really would have been up all night."

None of this was true and this was probably the worst flirting anyone had ever seen.

Jessica surprised me by speaking up. "What were you guys talking about?"

"Sorry, Jess, I don't sext and tell," Edward smirked, wrapping an arm around my shoulder and bringing me to his chest. Everyone laughed, which was disappointing because our flirting game was so off. No one believed we were serious.

Alice groaned. "Probably all the stupid stuff they're always talking about. Debating if there really was ever dinosaurs and what we should do if they ever come back again."

"Um, that's a great debate to have, Al, and have you ever thought about that? I mean, what the hell would you do?"

Alice rolled her eyes, going back to her salad.

"That's what you guys really talk about?" Rosalie tilted her head, blinking her thick mascara lashes at me.

"We've had conversations about that, yeah. Amongst other things," I spoke slowly. Jasper smiled and winked at me.

"Seems dumb, if you ask me," Rosalie shrugged, taking a sip from her Green Tea.

"I know what you mean," I mumbled, glancing at Edward. He was just smiling down, pulling at a thread on my hoodie.

"Edward, did you do the Geometry homework?" Rosalie asked.

He looked up, said a real quick "no" before going back to the loose thread.

I glanced at her from the corner of my eye. She looked a little dumbfounded. I held back a cackle. Edward was good. Usually he would have offered to copy it down for her.

"I did," Jake offered. Rosalie ignored him, making Alice snort.

"Smoothly played, Cullen," I mumbled when the conversation had started up again.

He winked at me, before finally pulling the thread from my jacket.

"Ahh, yes, the nap was a good idea," Edward sighed as he plopped down on my bed, taking up the whole thing.

"Edwarddd," I whined. "Move."

"Make me," he mumbled, nestling into my pillows.

I groaned. "At least get under the covers. I don't want to snag the bed spread."

He made no sign of moving.

I grabbed his leg, pulling with all my might. He barely budged. God, I was weak.

"You're such an OCD psycho," he grunted, getting up, and taking off his shoes.

"Edward, the messiest person on earth could be called an OCD psycho compared to the way you keep your room." It was true; he was a pack rat.

I peeled off my hoodie and hung it up, before taking off my jeans and sliding on my favorite lounge pants. I turned around to find Edward under my covers, staring at me.

"What?"

He smirked. "You have such big tits and a big ass for being so small."

"Oh, whatever." I peeled back the covers and crawled under the sheets with him, turning on my side.

I felt him shift behind me. "I sweat to god, Edward, if you try to spoon me, I'll kick your ass." He had a terrible habit of spooning me, like, all the time. Edward Cullen was a shameless spooner.

"I'd like to see you try," he mumbled, snuggling up behind me.

Edward knew me better than anyone else. Just like I knew him better than anyone else.

In 4th grade, I moved to Seattle, and it was my first day at my new school. Edward had to repeat 4th grade because he was so spellbound by miss Rosalie Hale. It was the first year he had ever had a class with her and was mystified by her beauty. Or at least that's what he says. I think its just because he was stupid. Rosalie had to repeat 4th grade as well, simply because she couldn't read until about 7th grade, and still has trouble with big words.

Anyway, the day we met, it was recess and he was being ridiculed by the 5th graders, his previous friends, for having to repeat the grade. I went up to Mike Newton, the ringleader of the catcallers, and told him he was being rude and should eat dirt. Of course, Mike laughed in my face and ridiculed not only Edward, but me too, for the rest of the year.

This naturally brought Edward and me together, making us build a weird kind of best friendship.

We've been together through thick and thin, which is partly why I was so nervous for the party tonight. We'd never done anything that might jeopardize our friendship. I mean, the only time we've ever really fought is when we didn't agree that I was naturally a Gryffindor and he was a Ravenclaw at best.

But here we were, 8 years later about to risk our friendship by making out at a party. I mean, we were doing it to get to other people, but it seemed pretty risky a move to take.

We'd been being 'flirty' all week. To the best of our ability at least. It was a very crippled kind of flirting, but nevertheless, some people had taken at least a little bit of a notice. Tonight would be the cherry on top. Some very awkward kissing to go with some very awkward people.

I was not thrilled about breaking out the swimsuit, since my bikini body had not seen the sun since about mid September of last year, but I guess it was now or never. It would be dark anyway.

I had a tank top on, jean shorts, my favorite hoodie, and a black bikini on underneath.

My hair was up in a high pony, and I'd put some waterproof eyeliner and mascara on in case someone decided to be an asshole and throw me in the water. A con to being small: Someone always throws you in the pool. And that someone was usually Edward or Jasper. You can imagine which one of those made me beyond irritated while the other one made me furiously turned on.

Edward planned to pick me up at 8. Alice had texted me asking when the hell I was gonna get there, and I told her Edward and I were eating first. She replied saying we had been spending a lot of time together.

I just smirked before pocketing my phone and heading downstairs.

My parents were in the living room, watching a movie together.

"Edward's here. I'll see you guys later," I told them while putting on my shoes.

"Be home by 1, okay?" Mom said.

"K. Love you. Bye." I walked out the door just as Edward pulled into the driveway.

I hopped in the front seat, immediately changing the station to Alt Nation. No matter how much he denied it, Edward was a Top 40 guy at heart and I would never let him live it down.

"Which bikini are you wearing?" He asked, pulling my jacket to the side, looking for my strap.

"Black."

He smiled. "Your tits look huge in that one."

I sighed. "My tits look huge in everything."

He smiled wider. "I know. Why do you always act like its such a burden?"

"Because for a long time I had mosquito bites then the second I got on the pill for my periods from hell, they came out of nowhere, and I still am not used to them and knock over things with them. Just yesterday I broke a glass cause I didn't realize how close to the table they were."

Edward snorted, backing out. "Well all the guys love them. That can be your consolation prize."

"But does Jasper love them? They're not as big as Rosalie's."

"No, they are not." He had a dreamy look on his face. "Hers really are huge, aren't they?"

I ignored him. "Drive faster, I'm starving."

"Yes, master."

The party was in full swing by the time we got there. The lawn was littered with beer cans, it looked like there had already been a fight, two girls were throwing up in the bushes, and it was only a little after 9. Ah, high school.

We made our way inside. Edward kept his arm tight around my shoulder while my stomach did flips. I'd barely been able to eat. As much as I was trying to ignore it, I was kissing Edward tonight and there was no going back. Luckily, I'd thought to bring some gum, and was currently chewing 3 pieces. Edward had taken a safe amount of 2.

Inside, we found our group by the beer pong table.

"Hey guys!" Alice called out, sloshing her drink around. She was already drunk.

Rosalie sneered at me and smiled at Edward, while Jasper did the exact opposite to both of us. Quite a pair, those two.

Jessica took in Edward's arms and raised her brows slightly. I ignored it and tried to relax.

"Are people in the hot tub yet?" Edward asked, playing with my ponytail.

Jasper looked for a beat too long and it made me happy. I tried to direct the happiness toward Edward.

"Yep, some are out there." Rosalie clicked her gum in the annoying way she always did.

"Sweet."

"K, I'm gonna go to the bathroom and I'll meet you out there, okay?" I said to Edward, stepping out from under his arm.

He tugged my hair one last time, smiling and nodding.

I walked off, feeling eyes on me.

I quickly went to the bathroom, before taking off my shorts, hoodie, and tank. Taking a calming breath and trying not to think about what was about to happen, I opened the door.

Outside was Jasper.

"Oh, hey," I smiled stepping out of the doorframe.

He smiled wide, taking in my almost naked body. I was glad the hallway was dark enough that hopefully he couldn't see my blush. I was busy taking in his shirtless body. Those abs, the dog tags, that sexy smile . . . damn.

"Cute swimsuit."

I'm surprised my knees didn't give out. "Thanks. Yours too."

He smiled wider, stepping a bit closer. He brushed a piece of hair out of my face, his breath washing over my forehead. He was so tall. I looked up, a little thrown off at how close he was. God, he smelled good.

"I'll see you later, Little Bella." He trailed his hand down my cheek, neck, and shoulder before ducking into the bathroom.

He shut the door before I could form a coherent sentence.

Dazed and on shaky legs, I walked through the kitchen and out the patio door.

The chilly air cooled me down and woke me up a little. Now it was game time. If anything, that little encounter pumped me up and made me realize this really was the only option at getting a chance with Jasper. We only had a few months left of Junior year and I'd be damned if I was going to spend the summer and senior year watching him and Rosalie be in love the whole time. No way Jose.

I found Edward making small talk by the cooler with Alex Kulp.

"Hey guys."

They both turned and smiled at me. Edward threw an arm around my shoulder which definitely caught Alex's eyes as it made my boobs shake I'm sure. Sigh.

"Sup, Bella?"

"That Pre-Cal test today was ridic, right?" I asked Alex because really, the only thing I ever had to talk to him about was math, the only class we'd ever had together.

"I know, dude. Real rough."

"For sure."

Small talk could make the manliest of men feel stupid.

"You ready to hot tub?" Edward asked.

I jumped at the chance to get out of this conversation. "Yep."

"K, talk to you later, Alex."

Alex looked relieved to be out of this conversation as well.

"Yep, see ya guys."

Edward and I started walking over to the hot tub, only to see Alice, Emmett, and Rosalie getting in. Great.

"Ed and Bel!" Emmett happily greeted us. Rosalie seemed unimpressed with life in general, but particularly with my bikini for whatever reason.

She was in one of those really strange and pointless one pieces that have huge cut outs all over it that make it more of one giant G string then a bathing suit. I guess it was supposed to be fashionable or something.

"Cute swimsuit, Rose," I said, simply because she was making me feel uncomfortable with the staring. "You too, Alice." Alice was just in a pink one, the same kind I was in.

"Thanks girl, you too," Alice said back nicely. Rosalie, as usual, sneered. Her smile was really awful.

Edward seemed to like the bathing suit, but held it in.

"What about my bathing suit, Bella?" Emmett asked look faux offended and stood up, making water splash all around Rosalie. She sneered uglier. I held in a laugh.

"Yours is so cute, Em!" I laughed, sitting down next to Edward.

"Thanks, Bel. I know," he flashed his dimpled grin. "And Edward, yours are super cute too."

"Oh yeah, I know," He smiled, leaning back and stretching out his arms.

A moment later, Jessica came and squeezed in between Alice and Edward. "Guys, I totally just saw Mike Newton's junk and let me tell you, he has a Tic Tac penis."

Emmett and Edward bellowed out a laugh, while Alice, Rosalie, and I all groaned. Jess just look disturbed.

The two other people who had been in the hot tub, got out, looking uncomfortable. They had probably sucked Mike's dick at some point in their high school career. Classy.

I felt water splash beside me and looked up to see Claire Tracey and Bryan Pender getting in the water. Behind them was Jasper.

"Hey guys," Alice greeted, friendly as always.

Jasper ended up sitting next to me, making my entire body come alive. He stretched his arms behind my back, just like Edward and I felt a little trapped and a really sweaty.

Edward scooted closer to me, and waited for the conversation to pick up before leaning down to my ear. "Lets get out in about 10 minutes," he whispered. I felt him start playing with the tip of my ponytail again, which was partly in the water. "Pretend I just said something funny."

I giggled, smacking his bare chest. It was so hard. I took him in for a minute. How did he stay tan all year long?

He leaned down again. "Preferably without abusing me."

This actually made me laugh. "Maybe you wouldn't think it was abuse if you weren't such a pussy."

"Give me five minutes alone with you to show you how much of a pussy I'm not."

"Is that how you flirt with other girls? Saying your lasting rate is five minutes?" I bit my lip, looking up at him.

"Oh, its way more than five minutes. Probably, at least six."

I giggled again.

"You wanna go get a drink?" Edward asked.

I nodded, standing up.

"Where you guys going?" Emmett asked as Edward helped me out.

"We're thirsty," Edward answered over his shoulder.

I smiled at the double meaning.

"K, get me a beer!" Emmett yelled after us.

Edward snorted. "Yeah, that may be a while."

We walked into the house, going down a hallway. We'd decided outside would be a bad idea especially since it was cold and we were dripping wet and also it would look suspicious if we went the opposite way of the house, obviously into the tree area of Stacy's backyard.

We walked down the hallway I'd talked to Jasper in earlier, and found an empty room. We left the door ajar, on purpose, and sat on the end of the bed.

"Soo," I said, twisting my ponytail.

"Don't get awkward." Edward warned, smiling a little. "Just think of it as a closer hug."

"Right. Okay." I bit my lip, staring up at him with wide eyes. God, I was nervous.

He stared at my lips, swallowing. His Adams apple bobbed. I wondered if he were imagining me as Rosalie.

He leaned down, putting a hand on my chin, jutting it up some. He looked into my eyes, before moving a little closer. There was some noise in the hallway, stopping us for a second.

I took a soothing breath. You can do this, Bella. You want Jasper's d and if the only way to do that is by kissing Edward, you're going to do it.

Surprisingly, I was the one to close the difference between Edward's and my lips. My stomach nearly exploded with butterflies when they touched.

His lips were soft and for a moment, we just sat there, our lips pressed together doing nothing.

Ever so slightly, he moved his bottom lip against mine and by instinct, I followed his with mine.

It was the slow kind of kiss. Not as awkward as I thought it might be.

He moved his hand from my face to my hip, scooting me a little closer. After a minute more of kissing, he broke it, keeping his face an inch from mine.

"You okay?"

"I'm peachy."

He smiled, leaning back in. "More?"

My stomach did another flip. "Okay."

When his lips touched mine again, his grip tightened just a little and I found the courage to move one hand from my lap onto his arm, gripping his bicep. God, he felt good.

When the tip of his tongue touched my bottom lip, I gasped slightly, my head jerking back a little. I'd never French kissed anybody and Edward knew it. I was a late bloomer.

"Relax," he stroked his thumb on my hip. "There's no pressure. This way it'll be over with. We're killing 2 birds with one stone here, Swan."

I relaxed a little. He was right.

I let his lips touch mine again, and this time when his tongue touched my lips, I was prepared for it.

I opened my mouth a tad and unfortunately couldn't hold back my quick intake of breath as his tongue teased mine gently. I felt him smile against my lips.

I was surprised with the jolts it sent down my body.

Sadly, I didn't get to explore the feeling much longer. A second later, the lights in the room flipped on, followed by Luke Powell saying "shit" and Caroline Kulp spitting out a "holy shit, Edward and Bella?".

Yeah, our plan was bullet proof.

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