Jack wriggled desperately several feet above the ground. He stared into those large, beady eyes. Jack felt small and powerless—till he remembered the small device in his hand. Straining against the powerful grip on his collar, Jack raised his arm. The screwdriver flipped open of it's own accord, and Jack aimed it directly into the giant's eyes.

T'almi roared and released Jack—who realized as he dropped how bad his depth perception had been. He landed spread-eagle on the stone floor. Man and giant recovered at about the same time, but Jack wasn't about to let the Arnak immobilize him again. He flicked the sonic screwdriver open in short, frequent bursts, like pulling the trigger on a laser gun. At least it had the desired effect of confusing the big man as Jack crawled around his ankles on all fours, flashing the light whenever T'almi got too close. The next thing he focused on was finding a door. The only exit in the room was the door right behind the enraged, unmoving giant.
Jack rolled away from the large, groping hands capable of tearing him limb from limb.

"I'll get you yet, little dwarf!" T'almi threatened. He took three stumbling paces forward.

At last, the doorway was clear! Jack jumped to his feet and ran toward it with all his might. He had no sooner reached the hallway than T'almi began chasing after him.

Jack was running out of options—and space. He knew it would be a dangerous thing to go charging back through the house the way he and the Doctor had entered, what with all the traps and all.

Jack's thoughts clicked into place. The traps! He darted down a side hallway, taking random corners where he knew it was almost too narrow for T'almi to follow. Sure enough, the thudding steps and the roaring faded, and Jack received a welcome break. Now to figure out just where he was (which was well-nigh impossible), and figure out how to lure T'almi into one of his own traps without Jack falling into or tripping any, himself (which was slightly more so).

"Unless..." Jack muttered, pulling out the sonic screwdriver and bracing himself for the explosive mental picture that came with it.

He flipped it open, and suddenly he knew exactly where this hallway was and where the nearest traps were. Jack picked the particular trap he wanted to use and moved to a key position near that trap.

He whistled loudly into the still darkness.
"Hey!" he yelled. "Come and get me, you big lout!"

Jack heard a savage roar, then felt the floor shake as T'almi charged toward him. The giant emerged in the hallway, and Jack waved him over.

"I'm right here, stupid!" he called.

T'almi was so intent on destroying the little man—gods or no gods—that he failed to recall that this particular hallway had a tripwire strung across it, connected to one of the support beams below them. The wire snapped as he walked across it, and the floor in front of him gave way right as he stepped onto it. Jack watched as T'almi sank from the second story into a huge, waiting net on the first. It spread around him so tightly that the giant could not move.

Jack couldn't resist waving to him before leaving. "Toodle-oo!"
He just barely made it away from the edge of the pit before the adrenaline slacked off and his knees felt like jelly. He leaned against the wall for support.

"Oh, hallo!"

Jack jumped back as a voice cried out very near his ear.

"Don't DO that!" he snapped.

The Doctor didn't seem to notice. He grinned. "That's all right, then. What did I miss?"

Jack fought to keep his frustration in check. "What did you miss? Where the heck were you?"

Doctor shrugged. "Oh, well, I found the cage with everyone in it with an enchanted lock attached to the golden harp and I found the right key in the right time, which sent me down a small chute into a dark cellar of some sort and I didn't have anything to light my way so it was a beastly time trying to feel my way out of the—" Finally, he caught the look in Jack's eye. "Ahem," Doctor thumped his chest and cleared his throat. "I got caught in a trap and fell in a hole."

Jack nodded dubiously, "Good to know." He gave a facetious grin.

The wiry Englishman fiddled with his bowtie and glanced at Jack nervously. "So..." he began slowly, "Did you get it?"

Jack rolled his eyes and pulled the Magic Bean out of his pocket. "Oh yeah, Doc," he retorted, "and I took care of the giant, too!"

"Oh!" The Doctor's eyes lit up, "You found it! Splendid!" He slipped the device into a case evidently designed for it. He then looked back at Jack. "I meant the screwdriver; I think I dropped it when I fell. You didn't happen to pick it—"

Jack wordlessly dangled the wand in front of his face. The Doctor grinned like a schoolboy.

"There you are, lovely!" he gushed as he accepted the screwdriver.

"Okay, now that's done," Jack interrupted the Doctor's moment of reverie, "Can we figure out how to get out of here?"

The Doctor nodded. He scanned the room with the screwdriver. Jack realized briefly that his by his own use of the device, he now had a better appreciation for it's effectiveness, in spite of the name.
The Doctor selected a direction. "Front door is this way," he said, "follow me."

Jack jogged along as the Doctor led him right past all the traps.

After what felt like a whole week inside that house, it felt good to shove open the large oaken front door and out into the late-afternoon sun. Jack paused to soak it in—then was grabbed from behind in a bear-hug by an exuberant Arnak.

"Hey!" Jorem cried, overjoyed at seeing his two newest friends again, "I thought for sure you guys didn't stand a chance in there! Boy, am I glad you made it out alive!"

Jack fought against the near-stranglehold but couldn't do much. Finally Jorem dropped him and Jack coughed and gasped for breath.

"Glad to see you too, Jorem," he muttered as he regained his composure.

"So," Jorem rubbed his hands together in glee, "Did you get the thing?"

"Right here, big fella," The Doctor pulled the case holding the Magic Bean out of his pocket.

"That means T'almi isn't going to die, and there will be no war, right?"

Jack glanced back toward the house where the large man lay trapped in his own house. "Not unless your leader holds a grudge, or has more of those bean things laying around."

The Doctor shook his head, "I don't think so," he chuckled. "This is a Tollan prototype. Meron said there was only one missing, and I highly doubt T'almi intended to copy the device. In fact, from what I understand, he never quite figured out how to really use the thing, his whole part in the traditional beanstalk story is purely accidental! You see—"

"Hey Doc," Jack groused, thumping him on the shoulder, "Can it!"

The Doctor cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck. "Sorry; um, where were we?"

Jerom glanced back toward the house. "Did you find the others in there?" he asked.

"Yes," The Doctor answered immediately, "Well, not exactly; I mean, I couldn't be sure. The last time I saw them, they were in a golden cage."

Jerom suddenly shoved the two humans into a nearby bush. They watched innocently as two Arnak guards entered T'almi house and brought something out of it.

Jack pointed. "You mean a cage like that one, Doc?"

The joking mood was gone. The Doctor frowned as he watched the guards depart. "Yeah," he said thickly, "that's it."

Once the guards were a safe distance away, Jack and the Doctor climbed out of the bushes.

"Follow that cage!" Jack cried.
Jerom did not hesitate to scoop the two of them up and run down the path the guards had just taken.
"We have a few hours before the Sacred Time," he said. "I think we'll make it before they get here!"

"Time..." Suddenly the Doctor got a huge grin and pulled out his sonic screwdriver. "I know a way we can get there that doesn't need any time!"

Jerom suddenly stopped and cowered. "What is it?" he yelled as a narrow blue box came spinning around his head.

"Don't hurt her!" Doc cried.

Jerom set them down as the box landed on the ground. Jack saw that it said POLICE CALL around the top in large white letters. Doc opened the door.

"Get in!" he hauled Jack inside.

They reappeared nearly the exact same moment they left—only now they were right on the fringe of the ceremony. Jack flung open the door and gasped for breath like a seasick man.

"We don't want to land too close, y'know," Doc was saying as he casually stepped out behind Jack. "We need to be discreet, and do this without attracting much attention."

Jack was still staring at the TARDIS. "B-b-bigger on the inside!" he spluttered in shock.

Heedless of his own warning, the Doctor suddenly pointed and cried out, "There they are!"

Jack looked around to make sure nobody heard that, and he caught sight of where the Doctor pointed. There, behind two Arnak guards, was a large cage with four people inside.

The two men crept quickly toward the cage. Sam was nearest to the edge, so Jack poked her in the side. "Carter!" he hissed.

She flinched and opened her eyes. She blinked at her strange surroundings, then looked shocked when she saw a familiar face. "Jack! Oh my gosh!" She reached through the bars to grab his hand. "You've gotta get us out of here!"

Jack looked over to where the Doctor was pointing the sonic screwdriver at the padlock. "Already on it," he assured her. "Wake the others up and wait for my go."

Sam nodded and followed the order as Jack and the Doctor crept back into the bushes. Jack saw the four prisoners stirring one by one as they regained consciousness, but remained exactly as they were to avoid suspicion.

"The trouble is," Jack muttered to the Doctor, "we don't know exactly when the Goa'uld are going to show up, or how carefully they are going to be watching the cage." He sighed, "I wish we could put together some kind of diversion for these guys."

The Doctor glanced toward a commotion in the distance. "With any luck," he replied, "we won't have to."
Jack followed his gaze. T'almi, clothes torn, face bruised, was just stumbling toward the gathering.

"Leader T'almi," one of the Arnak asked, "what happened?"

The big man scowled. "The T'auri are far more dangerous than we ever expected! They attacked me in my own home! Let me tell you how it happened."

As the Arnak leader spoke, the group gravitated toward him—and away from the cafe containing the "sleeping" humans!

Jack waved to catch Sam's attention.
"Go!" he mouthed.

Swiftly she roused everyone and they slipped out the door of the cage one by one.
At last, the group of six were reunited in the bushes. After the relieved embraces were over, Jack got everyone's attention. "We don't have much time till the big guy finishes his story and they find out you're gone," he said.

"How do we get out of here?" Amy asked.

"It's too risky to try running all the way back to the Stargate," Daniel remarked.

Jack glanced sidelong at Daniel, "Yeah, about that..."

Daniel wore a wan expression. "You buried it, didn't you?"

Jack squinted and tipped his head. "Ehh, more like we had it buried."

"So now what?" Sam asked.

The Doctor pulled out his sonic screwdriver. "Allow me," he said. The blue call box materialized in the bracken before them.

Daniel watched, flabbergasted by the unexpected vehicle. "Did you just grab a call box from the early 20th century of Earth?" He looked at the screwdriver, "Does that thing open a wormhole, too?"

"No!" the Doctor rolled his eyes and pointed. "That's the TARDIS! She's my ride. Get in!"

"You're kidding," Sam said as the rest—including Jack—seemed totally okay with playing "pile in a phone booth", "All of us? In there?"

Amy winked at her, "Remember what I said about it? Trust me, there is plenty of room for everybody."
Sam stepped through the door behind her. "See, that's the thing, what you said makes no sense because you said the TARDIS—" she heard the sound of a very large motor and stopped. Sam looked up...way up. She looked around and saw that she was somehow now inside gigantic control room for an even bigger ship. "—bigger on the inside," she gasped weakly. She looked over at Jack, who slouched near the controls as if this whole thing was a regular occurrence. He caught her stare and shrugged.

"You get used to it," he joked. Jack turned to the Doctor. "Dial us home, Scotty."

The Doctor was tearing around the control board, spinning dials, throwing levers, and juggling toggles.
"I can do better than that, Colonel," he bragged. "This ship moves through time as well as space. I can get you back to your Stargate Command at the exact moment you left."

SG-1 glanced dubiously at each other.
"Better make it a few hours later," Daniel suggested hesitantly. When the Doctor looked at him, he added, "Just to make it seem like we actually did something."

The Doctor shrugged, "Fair enough! Hold on, everyone—Allons'y!"

The TARDIS gave a mighty lurch, and the Stargate team fell into seats or grabbed railings as the mechanism spun and twirled it's way back to Earth.

At last, the movement settled, and everyone disembarked.
Sgt. Harriman's voice echoed over their heads.
"—curity Breach! Unauthorized—oh, wait... Never mind!"

Amy and Rory looked around at the Gate Room.

Rory turned to his wife. "Look, love: it's the Stargate!"
Amy admired the size of the machine. Daniel sidled up alongside her. "This is the device we use to travel to other planets. Let me show you around."

The Doctor noticed Sam watching him with some apprehension.
She mused slowly, "So... Jack and the Beanstalk..." she looked over at the Colonel, who was engaged with Daniel in giving the Ponds a "tour" of the Gate Room.

The Doctor grinned, "Jack the Giant-Slayer?" he queried.

Sam shook her head in disbelief. "Did we just disprove a legend or destroy someone's reality?"

Doctor shrugged one shoulder. "A little of both, I suppose. The legend is still a legend; the truth—for those who were in it—will seem like a bad dream."

Daniel broke away from his conversation in time to catch the last comment. "And the Arnakim?" he asked, joining them on the Stargate ramp.

Doctor chuckled, "Jack asked a friend to bury the Stargate. I doubt anyone from Earth will be bothering them in the near future."

Amy glanced up at the window and saw some official looking persons staring at them. She caught the look in Sam's eye and guessed who they were.
"I suppose we ought to say goodbye," she hinted to the others. She reached to hug Sam. "Thank you for rescuing us; I don't think we would have made it on our own."

Sam patted her on the back. "I promise to look you up if I'm ever in London."

"I'd like that," Amy replied.

Jack shook hands with The Doctor, who immediately offered him the sonic screwdriver. Jack hesitated.

"You know how to use it, don't you?" The Doctor asked.

Jack nodded with a shrug. "Yeah...kinda; are you sure you want to give it to me?"

Doctor nodded, "Absolutely; I have a whole closet full on the TARDIS. Keep it."

The Doctor and the Ponds prepared to depart in the blue call box.

"Hey," Jack spoke up, still examining his new device. He looked up at The Doctor. "D'you mind if I gave this thing a new name? Seeing as it really isn't a screwdriver at all; I was thinking something more like—sonic probe, maybe?"

A slow smile crept over the Doctor's face. "What do you think?"

Jack shrugged, and the Doctor withdrew into the TARDIS. The team watched the vessel slowly fade from sight.
Daniel sighed when it was gone. "This job never ceases to amaze me," he remarked.

General Hammond strode into the Gate Room.
"Was the mission a success, Colonel?" he asked.

Jack saluted. "Mission accomplished, sir."

"Good," Hammond nodded, "Meet me to debrief in one hour." He turned heel and left the room.
Jack shot Daniel a look.

"The wonders never cease—but some things never change!" he quipped as he trudged down the hall to their quarters.

Daniel shook his head. "Everyone's a cynic," he muttered as he followed.