Snow White and The Seven Jawas
(7 Years after Attack Of The Clones)
SSJ V: We do not own Star Wars. Boba No s- SSJ V: We're rated G! Boba: shitzu? SSJ V:..... Sure.
Once a pon a time in a galaxy far, far away.
There was a princess named Padme, but every one called her snow white, seeing as she had a very rare skin condition that did not allow ultra violet rays to enter her skin properly. Her parents once toilet papered the castle, and were tragically separated from their daughter by a 100 yard restraining order, so Padme was raised by her activist aunt, who fought to make all rights equal, be environmentally friendly, and to save the animals of the kingdom. Padme on the other hand, was a spoiled little snot, who spent two hours in the shower, kicked over young trees, and tortured small animals.
One day while her aunt, the queen, was out, Padme started ripping off the legs of a spider, one by one, and when the queen came back in, she found the mangled bodies of 1, 000, 000 spiders lying around the floor, because Padme was to lazy to do it herself and ordered all of the servants of the palace to do it as she watched and enjoyed the spectacle. Seeing the rage etched through the peaceful queen's features, snow white ran away in fear, eventually finding a group of seven Jawas who kicked her a few times and walked away. So Snow White sat on the forest floor, and complained to no one for a few hours that it was too dirty.
Well, the queen had, had enough! She marched right to the phone and called the only person in the galaxy that she knew could help.
***************************************************************
A single star ship sailed through hyper space. If anyone were watching, they would have seen a red and white/ gray blur, and maybe deciphered the words, and if they did , then they would have screamed a girlie high pitched squeak, and zoomed off in the other direction.
A silhouette of a great fighter appeared in the window of the ship, the ship known as the Slave 1, his masked face played on by some fleeting emotion, quickly squashed into the recesses of his mind. In his business, any emotion could mean failure, and the warrior never made mistakes.
The pinnacle of mystery in all of it's secrecy's unknown thoughts were interrupted by a voice in his built in phone.
"Boba Fett?" The voice questioned. Using his excellent skills of deduction, Boba realized that this lady was really, really ticked.
"Yes." The fear inspiring voice answered, with the same deadly poise that he used on the battle field, showing through into his carefully chosen words.
" I am queen Kabalalalamishkalala of Naboo."
At that, with the quick movements that could only come from years of experience, the death defying assassin dropped out of hyper space. It so happened that he was just above Naboo. Go figure.
"I need you to teach Snow White a lesson. You will be able to distinguish her by the fact that she's uh. a girl."
Jeeze, that's really helpful The track-and-kill sarcastic, yet sadistic 17 year old thought.
"The reward will be 1 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000. Credits."
A choking sound was heard echoing in through the azure/ verdant helmet of the Universes superlative executioner. Regaining his composure to one of unrivaled coolness, he approved the deal and landed on the planet, proceeded to take out his magical blaster-rifle, pointed it into the woods, shot Snow White dead, collected the cash, bought the rights to Star Wars, and rewrote it so that he killed everyone and proceeded to rule the Universe.
And They Lived Happily Ever After (They, being he, seeing as Boba Fett was the only one who lived passed forty.)
The End
SSJ V: We do not own Star Wars. Boba No s- SSJ V: We're rated G! Boba: shitzu? SSJ V:..... Sure.
Once a pon a time in a galaxy far, far away.
There was a princess named Padme, but every one called her snow white, seeing as she had a very rare skin condition that did not allow ultra violet rays to enter her skin properly. Her parents once toilet papered the castle, and were tragically separated from their daughter by a 100 yard restraining order, so Padme was raised by her activist aunt, who fought to make all rights equal, be environmentally friendly, and to save the animals of the kingdom. Padme on the other hand, was a spoiled little snot, who spent two hours in the shower, kicked over young trees, and tortured small animals.
One day while her aunt, the queen, was out, Padme started ripping off the legs of a spider, one by one, and when the queen came back in, she found the mangled bodies of 1, 000, 000 spiders lying around the floor, because Padme was to lazy to do it herself and ordered all of the servants of the palace to do it as she watched and enjoyed the spectacle. Seeing the rage etched through the peaceful queen's features, snow white ran away in fear, eventually finding a group of seven Jawas who kicked her a few times and walked away. So Snow White sat on the forest floor, and complained to no one for a few hours that it was too dirty.
Well, the queen had, had enough! She marched right to the phone and called the only person in the galaxy that she knew could help.
***************************************************************
A single star ship sailed through hyper space. If anyone were watching, they would have seen a red and white/ gray blur, and maybe deciphered the words, and if they did , then they would have screamed a girlie high pitched squeak, and zoomed off in the other direction.
A silhouette of a great fighter appeared in the window of the ship, the ship known as the Slave 1, his masked face played on by some fleeting emotion, quickly squashed into the recesses of his mind. In his business, any emotion could mean failure, and the warrior never made mistakes.
The pinnacle of mystery in all of it's secrecy's unknown thoughts were interrupted by a voice in his built in phone.
"Boba Fett?" The voice questioned. Using his excellent skills of deduction, Boba realized that this lady was really, really ticked.
"Yes." The fear inspiring voice answered, with the same deadly poise that he used on the battle field, showing through into his carefully chosen words.
" I am queen Kabalalalamishkalala of Naboo."
At that, with the quick movements that could only come from years of experience, the death defying assassin dropped out of hyper space. It so happened that he was just above Naboo. Go figure.
"I need you to teach Snow White a lesson. You will be able to distinguish her by the fact that she's uh. a girl."
Jeeze, that's really helpful The track-and-kill sarcastic, yet sadistic 17 year old thought.
"The reward will be 1 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000, 000. Credits."
A choking sound was heard echoing in through the azure/ verdant helmet of the Universes superlative executioner. Regaining his composure to one of unrivaled coolness, he approved the deal and landed on the planet, proceeded to take out his magical blaster-rifle, pointed it into the woods, shot Snow White dead, collected the cash, bought the rights to Star Wars, and rewrote it so that he killed everyone and proceeded to rule the Universe.
And They Lived Happily Ever After (They, being he, seeing as Boba Fett was the only one who lived passed forty.)
The End