Musically Inclined | Chapter 5

After the conversation with Shitt P, Tsuna was led to one of the many guest rooms in the mansion. Enma made sure that his friend was acquainted with the different accessories and how to contact any of them in case he needed anything. After bidding each other a good night's sleep, the red head waved a final time and closed the door leaving Tsuna in a pitch black room.

Tsuna tossed and turned on the bed trying to grasp onto weariness and fall asleep but to no avail. He was pretty tired but whenever he closes his eyes, it always seemed as if he was being given a renewed energy. After about thirty minutes of lying quietly in the darkness, the brunette sighed in exasperation and forced himself upright and off the bed.

Slender fingers crept their way to the lamp by the bed side to turn it on and flood the room with light. Tsuna's chocolate colored eyes squinted at the sudden change as he made his way toward his bag.

He fumbled through the clothes and saw his most prized possession—a small hard bound notebook. It was the size and thickness of a small dictionary with a black velvety cover and a clasp to seal it close. It was given by his kindly grandfather Timoteo on his seventh birthday.

"Tsunayoshi-kun, if you ever feel like you have found the passion of your life, use this notebook as the medium to bring it to reality" the old man said with the ever present twinkle in his eye. "You mean like a diary?" the small brunette piped up excitedly. Tsuna had always wanted to keep a diary like Kyoko and Haru. When he asked Reborn if he can get one, his tutored chuckled at him and said that diaries were for girls as he blushed and realized that Reborn was making fun of him again.

"Well if you'd like to think of it that way, then yes I presume," Ninth said.

He was seven years of age when he received it and only five years later did he finally decide a use for it. And it has been five years since he started using it.

He unopened the clasp gingerly as his other hand palmed the velvety feel of the plain black cover. Inside, contained his many creations. He transferred all of his original music in this notebook from where he had written loose sheets before. He carried it everywhere and wrote in it whenever he pleased. Usually when he felt a strong surge of feelings and whenever no one was looking.

No one knew of its existence except him and the Ninth and he was determined to keep it that way.

He moved over to a desk and carefully settled his notebook atop it. The events which had occurred to him recently had happened in such a fast whirl he was sure that if he did not sit it down and mull things over for a while, he will never get anywhere.

So he did what he did best.

He wrote it all down in his special notebook until the early visages of dawn.

Three sharp raps on the door, a clicking sound and soft footsteps mingled its way through Tsuna's sub conscious.

"Tsuna? Where are you?" Enma called out as he surveyed the empty bed. Tsuna's head snapped back to an appropriate position from where it had been slumped rather uncomfortably on the desk. It seemed that as he was writing, he unconsciously fell asleep. "E-Enma!"

Enma sighed in relief as he saw the other figure, "Good morning, I thought you have been lost! What are you doing sleeping on a chair?" Tsuna blushed as he realized how silly he must have looked.

"I couldn't sleep earlier so I thought I'd just spend my time uhh—reading," Tsuna lied at the last part. Enma might be his best friend but he doesn't think he's that ready to let another individual know he was keeping something that is easily a gateway to himself.

It was a good thing his notebook could easily pass as a pocket book of sorts as Enma let it go without any thought. "Anyway, Shitopi-chan said that we should get started today. I don't have anything coming up at the moment so I thought I might as well tag along!" he said excitedly.

"That's—sneeze—great! Thank you, Enma." Tsuna said, a little abashed at the sneeze he gave. Enma cocked his head in concern, "Are you sure you don't need any medicine for that? It might develop into something worse." "No, I'm fine. Really" Tsuna reassured in a smile.

After getting ready, they proceeded downstairs where everybody else was already waiting for them.

Tsuna easily recognized them as Enma's family whom he met one time when they were in middle school. Luckily for Tsuna, they were also made aware of his presence and recognized him as Enma's friend. They all sat down together in a table and ate gradually as they shared stories and other what not.

Afterwards Shitt P. motioned the two to follow her. They reached a rather flamboyantly decorated door which Tsuna could only guess as the entrance to her room.

"Umm… Shitt P-san?" Tsuna tried to get her attention. But the peculiar woman either didn't hear him or was ignoring him on purpose. Tsuna looked sideways at Enma's direction in question. But rather than give a straight answer, the other one laughed softly, "She only responds to 'Shitopi-chan' "

Tsuna then decided to give it a try, "Shitopi-chan?"

"Yes?" the floating… balloon—thing—girl—whatever responded in an excited tone as she spun around to look at him. "Oh yes, Tsuna-kun. I was thinking we should try to get you into one of those big time corporations right away!"

Tsuna was a little appalled. Though he knew next to nothing about the real world, he was certain that aiming for something that high from the start would not sit well with someone like him who is only getting started. It was common sense that one would have to start from the smallest thing before climbing their way up.

"Shouldn't we try something… a little smaller, perhaps?" Tsuna meekly said. Shitt P. looked at him with a reasoning eye. "Yes probably… but if you would, it would take you years before you're even known by a handful of audience. No reason for letting all that talent go to waste, right?"

It sounded a little exaggerated but Tsuna knew that it was true. He was repeatedly told by Reborn that if you don't have a strong backer behind you and if you would have to start from scratch, it was highly likely to die before making a hit. Such is the life of an artist.

"So you better be thankful of your position," Reborn would usually remind him.

But the truth is, Tsuna doesn't really mind the lack of fame. All he wanted was to be able to perform his type of genre without being hindered by his father. But then again, Tsuna swallowed, now that he ran away, he needs a steady income of money. It wasn't a wonder why there are few successes in the music industry. Not that many people are willing to give up their cash to buy music nowadays. But it's not like Tsuna was not coming back to his own home, right? He was just going to try living his life on his own like everybody else… right?

He was snapped back to reality by Shitt P calling his attention. So maybe she was right, to aim high right away. He's a little afraid of what he would feel in case he was rejected and ridiculed by many. He heard that falling would hurt. But you'd never really know for yourself unless you try, isn't it?

The three of them set off to a restaurant bar where Shitt P. said was popular to music directors and producers due to its natural ambience and where aspiring musical artists flock. It was given the nickname Hunting Grounds because of the fact that newbies are given chances to perform on stage and showcase their talent. If a producer was present and liked what he heard, that person would be approached later on and be taken in. A downside though is that if you had performed badly, you are banned from the place and the shame would follow you everywhere.

Tsuna wore a jacket despite the relatively warm weather as they took a cab going to that resto bar. He didn't know why but he felt clammy. It's probably because of his nervousness.

After a fifteen minute drive, they stepped out of the cab and walked towards a building with an elaborate sign reading, Delicatesso on the front. "Here we are," Shitt P said in her ever cheerful voice. Tsuna gulped as Enma squeezed his hand in encouragement as his was led inside.

"It seemed as if we have arrived in one of their busiest hours," Enma evaluated as his eyes surveyed the place. Almost every table was occupied by patrons and other people. He could identify numerous people who belong in big companies looking for recruits as they listened to the performers on stage.

Tsuna's palms sweated in nervousness at his would-be audience. Enma, who was still holding his hand, noticed and smiled once again in encouragement. "No need to be worried, me and Shitopi-chan are here to support you!"

Though as they looked once again all over the room, they couldn't see her head anywhere. They must have lost her in the crowd of people. "She has the habit of disappearing like that all of a sudden," Enma explained, "something important must have come up."

The two of them made their way to the line of people who would be performing on stage. Tsuna stood in line, nervously shifting his weight from one leg to another as the line started to get shorter while Enma tried to give as much support as he can to the brunette. As each performer finished what they had to offer, they were either given a round of applause or a series of boos. Tsuna felt like his heart would stop when the person who was before him went up on stage.

"Maybe this wasn't a very good idea…" Tsuna squeaked indistinctly but was still caught by the red haired man. "I believe you can do this Tsuna, you know you can—" he was cut short by the ringing of his phone.

Enma took his phone from his pocket and answered it. "Hello Adelheid, what is it—Eh—important? Are you sure about—oh, okay—I understand, I'll be there right away," with a click, Enma returned the phone from his pocket.

Enma looked at his friend with a very apologetic gaze, "Tsuna, something important came up and Adelheid said my presence is really needed. Do you think you can manage it alone?" Tsuna felt like his knees would give away at the announcement but nodded anyway. Enma has done so much for him already. After his friend made his exit, he silently took out his notebook from inside his jacket. He fingered through the pages wondering what he should perform. He should have asked Enma when he was still there, Tsuna thought as he mentally slapped himself for his idiocity.

Should he perform one of his popular songs? Tsuna scratched the idea, there are a lot of chances that people would recognize him for who he really was and tell his family of his whereabouts without him even getting the chance to feel life for himself yet.

He stopped at one of the pages he was working on the other night. It was rough, not yet finalized, and some of the notes were still a little sketchy. But his mind told him that if he was going to perform anything, this was it. It was one of his freshest pieces so the details of how he would perform it would come to his mind the easiest. With that set in mind, he braced himself as the person before him wrapped up her work and was congratulated by a loud applause from the audience. She performed really well and Tsuna could see the numerous people who immediately met her on her way downstage, her long green ponytail trailing down her back as she put back her pretty white hat on her head before paying attention to the people congratulating her along the way.

When Tsuna climbed onstage, most of the attention was still directed towards the ponytailed girl. Tsuna picked up the electric guitar in the far end side of the stage as he gingerly spoke into the microphone and introduce himself.

"H-Hello?" he started, "umm… I'm going to perform one of my latest works and er.. I hope you will enjoy it, I guess" Tsuna looked up and saw that it seemed as if the spot light was still on the girl. Since he was so nervous about his turn, he hadn't paid much attention to her performance but by the way the audience was acting, she seemed to have done a very good job.

Each performer has a limited time set, so he decided to start already despite the almost lack of attention.

There is a thing about Tsuna whenever he performs his music. It is as if an immediate barrier is being put up between him and the rest of the world. He does not only perform but he is also incorporating the song into himself and letting it out in a strong, beautiful melody. It was not a wonder how he was easily able to capture his audience's hearts whenever he performed on the nights he was assigned by Reborn.

He let it all out that time on the platform. It was not just a simple stage in Delicatesso at that moment, it was his stage. He was separated in his own world where he was the center of everything. And the world bent along with him at his will. The passion coming out from his mouth with multiple strings of words blended into an intoxicating melody sent electric surges through his spine as he gained more confidence in himself and his performance all together. Here was the first time he let his true self free. Rock truly was his passion, he decided as he continued to sing. He had never felt this way whenever he performed popular songs over and over again in the theater. He had forgotten how awful he felt that morning, the feeling coldness that met him the moment he walked out of the mansion. He was renewed. He felt greatness surging through his veins. And in that moment, he swore that it was the first time he truly felt alive.

But his momentous glory came to a stuttering stop as he looked up and reconnected himself to his surroundings.

All of their attention was still on the girl who had won the day.

They acted as if they haven't noticed that there is another performer onstage. Because the moment the girl finished is the moment everything else finished for them.

He felt his confidence in himself and everything else shatter and felt the haunting coldness back full blast onto his lithe frame going as far to his bones as he shuddered. He waited for the audience's verdict. A small round of applause, a loud chorus of booing.

He waited.

And waited some more.

But there was nothing.

He was non-existent.

His spirit weighed down on him as he made his way downstage. No one met him. No one made their way on him. He was grateful neither Shitt P nor Enma was present. He doesn't think he can bare to look at them and be disappointed in him for letting them down.

Tsuna made his way towards the only available seat at the bar. "Hello sir, is there anything I can get you?" the bartender asked him to which he responded with a shake of his head.

He sat just like that for a very long time. Thinking about nothing. Doing nothing at all. He had poured out everything in that performance and he was tired but he did not go to Enma's place just yet.

So he waited some more. Hours passed and the number of people inside the vicinity thinned out and still he waited. He was tapped gently on the shoulder by a manager telling him that Delicatesso is going to close soon but still he waited.

And there was nothing.

A/N: Woohoo another chapter done aw yessssss. Sorry if everything is taking so long, I wanted it to be realistic and not wow holy fuck that escalated quickly

Anyways, I figure Xanxus will appear either on the next chapter or the chapter after that. The problem is when I will be able to get started on working on them. ehe.

Umm, first time I'll ask for them in this story but... review please?