TITLE: Health & Safety Hazard
GENRE: Humor
CHARACTERS: Cal, Gillian
PAIRING: Cal/Gillian
RATING: PG-13
SPOILERS: None
WORDS: 600
SUMMARY: Thorough preparation is the key, they say (well, he does anyway). Missing scene before 'Darkness & Light'.
A/N: Just a silly, little piece. A bit dialogue-heavy, but it felt right for this kind of scene.

He put the ring on her finger—almost gently, pushing it into place until it sparkled just right in the sunlight, grinning from one cheek to the other. "Gillian Foster, will you marry me?"

She looked down at it, his own ring just a few miniscule inches from hers. The metal could be touching; will probably in a minute or so. "Seems like I already have. I must have been delusional."

"You don't remember our last time in Vegas?" A small wink. Oh, this bastard.

There was no denying that a quiet sigh escaped her mouth. "I wish I didn't, but that's not how my brain works."

"Yeah, 'cause your brain is much smarter than that."

"I fear it has to do with the opposite of smart."

He frowned a little. "It hurts when you do that, you know?"

"Yeah? Must have done it right then." She waited a beat. "Can we go?"

"Damn, it's almost as if you want to get this over with as fast as possible. Where's the fun in that?"

She smiled, but was careful not to let him see it. "We're here to work as far as I'm concerned."

"Are work and fun mutually exclusive?"

"With you mixing work and fun is dangerous." Emphasis on the last word, right where it belonged.

"Dangerous is my kind of fun."

"That's what I'm saying."

She hurried in front of him while he actually had to run in order to keep up with her pace. "So any ground rules then before we go in there?" he wanted to know again. Better safe than sorry.

"You did read the 'Deceiving as a married couple 101' manual again, didn't you?"

"We're doing the 'Deceiving as a sickly-sweet happily married couple with a bit of a kinky twist'. That's a different one. Requires a lot more work to make it look real."

Another smile that she didn't bother to hide this time. "I thought that was one of your areas of expertise. Might have read it in the fake CV you gave me some years ago."

"Why would you ask me for a CV anyway?" He had to run again to catch up with her. On the way he had to check if she was really wearing heels or if it was just a clever delusion. He might have also checked out other areas just to make sure. "So any tongue allowed?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm sure we have a health and safety memo for that, that you never bothered to read."

"For kissing?"

"Cal." Dangerous, just as she had predicted.

"Does it say yes or no to tongue?"

"It says, use your fucking brain."

Swearing—definitely dangerous. "That's a yes then."

"I'll make you read that memo again."

"Are you saying I'm a health and safety hazard?"

She reflected on it for a moment. "Safety—definitely. Health—yes, my mental health probably."

"You're having a particularly charming day today."

"Thanks, love."

"Oi, that's my thing to say!"

"We're a happily married couple, remember?" She reached out her hand, so he could take hold of it. It almost felt natural; the ring touching his skin, her fingers curling around his. She smirked and so did he. The entrance of the building was right in front of them now.

"Exactly what being married felt like."

"You mean full of bickering and pain?"

"That plus the kissing we're about to do."

"Don't get too excited," she warned.

"Oh, I'm far from excited." One second, two seconds. "Well no, that's a lie. But I feel fully prepared now."

"Yeah? Good. So ready to go in?"

"Couldn't be more ready, darling."

THE END