Warning: Thoughts about Incest, Swearing. You are warned.

Okay so in this chapter you learn a bit about Matthew and Alfred's past, Matthew's feelings, a bit more about Bath Time.

The smell of maple wafted through the air of a home in the country side. Matthew felt comfort in the familiar warmth of his stove as he made his beloved pancakes.

Meanwhile Alfred layed on his belly ideally flipping through t.v. channels before deciding there was nothing interesting to watch and turned it off. His legs swinged back and forth behind him as he pouted. He was a grown nation, the United States of America for Pete's sake! Yet, Matthew had placed him (as much as he hated to admit it) under house arrest.

After the incident with Kiku although he was sure he had fallen asleep in Abel's arms in a wedding dress, in a hotel in Las Vegas. He had woken up clothed in familiar smelling (maple scented) pajamas in a familiar bed in a familiar room in a familiar home in the Northern countryside of his brother's country. After he had woken up his brother had all but interrogated him, he couldn't lie to Matthew and ended up spilling everything. The kidnappings, the dates...and his new boyfriend.

He knew his brother would be angry when he found out he had a boyfriend. A single date was one thing but a boyfriend was another. (Maybe because his dating life normally never went past the first date anyhow. So there wasn't much for Matthew to worry about. Although there was one time where he almost had a boyfriend. With a certain Turkish nation which didn't end to well. At all.) That's why he had been so careful not to let his brother find out he was going out with someone. If you looked up overprotective sibling in the dictionary it would have a picture of Matthew under it.

Of course he knew Matthew was only looking out for him. His older brother didn't want him to get hurt and all but he was fully capable of protecting himself. Matthew on the other hand thought otherwise. Leading to his current predicament.

He sighed, this was stupid. "Mattie, how long am I under house arrest?" Alfred asked.

"As long as needed." Matthew replied, chuckling when he heard Alfred whine.

"Come on Mattie! I've been under house arrest forever!" Alfred wailed.

"Al it's barely been a week. Are you ready to eat?" Matthew replied, sliding the last of the warm delicious pieces of heaven onto a plate. Although it was evening. The Canadian believed there was no time like anytime to enjoy pancakes.

"Ya" Alfred grumbled, shuffling into the kitchen and sat down. Trying to keep the displeased look on his face despite the fact he couldn't help making content noises as he ate his pancakes. If there was one thing Matthew was truly amazing at (besides hockey) was his ability to make the most amazing tasting pancakes anyone has ever known.

Matthew didn't bother hiding his amusement. A smile on his face as Alfred happily ate his cooking before remembering he was angry then he'd take a bite and momentarily forget it and then he remember it again and then forget it. Again. It was amusing to the Northern brother how childish but adorable the other could be at times.

Despite Alfred's on an off mood, the air between the two was a pleasant one and soon they finished their meal. Matthew shooed away his brother when Alfred insisted on doing the dishes saying he could do the himself but Alfred stubborn as always he eventually gave in and allowed his brother to help.

Matthew washed and Alfred dried. Their shoulders bumping into each other occasionally. A comfortable silence between them. Matthew enjoyed spending time with Alfred like this. When it was just the two of them. They could talk about anything and everything without interruption and Alfred always seemed raptured with him, actually listening to his every word, his attention only on him.

Unfortunately Matthew never got to spend much time with his younger brother as he would like. Whenever they were with other nations, they always hogged Alfred's attention. If he tried talking to Alfred during a break or after a meeting another nation would swoop in, purposely stealing his brother's attention from him. Even if Alfred tried to bring him into the conversation they always cornered Al with questions only he could answer or answer the questions Alfred directed at him. If he asked Alfred to lunch another would decide to tag along. He knew they only did it to spend time with Alfred. They ignore him like he wasn't even there to pretend they had the American all to themselves. Sometimes he felt like they actually forgot he existed.

It made him feel so alone, abandoned at times. Those nations made him feel so invisible.

Alfred would at least try to spend time with him as much as he could outside the meetings or his appointments with his boss or other nations to make up for his treatment. Alfred would apologize over and over and even though Matthew said it was all right, it wasn't Alfred's fault. He could still see Alfred didn't entirely believe him. It was true though, he didn't blame Alfred. It was all those other assholes who were at fault, who would try wiggle their way into their lives where they did NOT belong, who fooled themselves into thinking they actually knew Alfred.

The bastards couldn't even tell the difference between Alfred and him until they got up and close and actually noticed the differences between the North American brothers. (sometimes they didn't notice at all until he pointed it out.)Then they would make up some half-assed excuse that they were angry at Alfred, Alfred owned them money, Alfred screwed up some relation or another, Alfred was charging too much on imports or some other idiotic issue and then try to rough him up.

They had wanted Alfred, they had thought he was Alfred. They were so angry with themselves for confusing the one they thought they knew so well. They would grow angry at him, blame him for their own idiocy for confusing them. Leading them on though he had no intention of giving them even the satisfaction of a pretend Alfred. Some even had the audacity to ask him to. His fist promptly meet their face.

Of course he could and would beat them to Hong Kong and back (there was also still the fact he was warned not to start anything. Not that he really cared to much if it meant keeping his brother from being defiled.) but it was always nice to come home and have Alfred fuss over him, tending to his wounds and hovering over him and only him to make sure he was all right.

But then in the meantime they would wander off in search of Alfred. When they did finally find him. Their hungry eyes would undress him, dream of doing things to him. Dreaming of putting their filthy hands all over sun-kissed hands. Marking him, claiming him as theirs. Dreaming of having Alfred all to themselves. They would say they loved him, wanted to take care of him. But Matthew knew all they really wanted was to control him, control Alfred's nation, put themselves in a higher position by taking advantage of his sweet brother. The parasites.

That was the reason Alfred even did his Bath Time as he called it. When he had first told Matthew his plan, the winter blonde had disagreed, even fought with Alfred about it. It had dissolved into a screaming match between them with many things getting broken and Alfred leaving in tears. He was not proud of that and his living room had looked like a tornado had blown through it afterwards and Alfred didn't talk to him for months until he cornered his younger brother one day and apologized till his voice became hoarse. Alfred had apologized too but still went through with his idea.

Matthew hated the idea with a burning passion but a small part of him could understand why Alfred wanted to do it.

It wasn't about sex or revenge or anything like that. It was about appreciation. To feel actually wanted, needed. But above else control.

He knew Alfred only wanted some type of control in his life. (Growing up under Arthur's rule had not been an easy one. Especially when Alfred was the Pirate nation's "favorite".)

Even after his independence Alfred still had to abide by so many rules. His government, his people, the expectations of other nations. Alfred had always had to stay within strict restriction even when he was inside his own home. Always putting up an act, to act so much it became the only thing he knew. Never allowed to control his own life. Even as he built his nation up, fought for his people even if he didn't believe in their cause or felt the same way over the things they did but still put his heart and soul into making them happy, meeting their expectations until he was worn thin, his health began to fail but still they pushed, expected him to follow, to obey.

But the effects of centuries of eating like this, dressing like this, acting like that had left a deep effect on Alfred's psyche. Although he had always been a bit childish. The effects remained and resulted in Alfred rebelling in various ways. Where as he had once been suppressed into a reserve calm, quietness exploded in a boisterous, loud, obnoxious attitude. Where his manners had been the envy of any lord or lady became a mess. Where he had once been so organized, so hardworking, so collected became sloppy, lazy, disinterested.

He knew Alfred did it all on purpose. He knew Alfred deep down didn't want to act like this but at the same time he did. Alfred was a free spirit that was being locked down, locked away. He knew Alfred was only trying to get to the control that seemed just out of his reach, instead held by others that seemed to mock him with their power, their ability to control and his ability only to obey.

He knew Alfred only visited other nations during their bath times and did the things he did as another way of rebelling. Throwing the meek, purely innocent, law-abiding, pitiful creature he had been shaped into, away. This was a way to gain some control for himself. To dominate those that had or could dominate him. To finally have someone at his mercy, his biding, abide by his rules for once. But dammit couldn't Alfred see Matthew would willing give him that control, give him anything he wanted. Matthew would do anything Alfred wanted.

He absolutely hated it, hated that Alfred had to visit other nations. Hated them for touching his brother. He hated them for even being in the same room as his brother. Hated them for being able to have what he couldn't. He was always on the side lines. He loved Alfred, he loved Alfred more than a brother should but he couldn't help it.

But Alfred, poor sweet Alfred didn't know, didn't notice. But of course he didn't notice. Matthew had been careful not to even lead Alfred to the assumption. Not knowing how his brother would react to the news. Matthew would rather stay on the sidelines than face rejection, he didn't think he could bear it if Alfred hated him, felt disgusted that his own brother loved him like a lover. No, it was better to keep his love for Alfred locked away but he feared one day he would snap and it would all come pouring out. He both feared and looked anxiously towards that day with excitement.

He had loved Alfred since they were colonies. Now it hadn't been love at first sight. In fact it had been decades later. Alfred was under bed rest. again. It happened all the time and in the beginning Matthew had felt nothing but platonic brotherly feelings for Alfred.

The Europeans had always seemed to fight among themselves, if not with themselves it was with the Natives. They seemed to spill blood everywhere they went and it affected Alfred deeply. Alfred was connected to the land, to the people living on it regardless if they had been born there or not to such an extent that it hurt him even when the smallest battle was fought, when blood was spilled, Alfred felt it. That happened often. And often times Alfred went through it alone.

Matthew wanted to laugh every time someone talked about Alfred being Arthur's favorite colony in any other way than Arthur's "favorite".

England was barely there in their childhood. A letter here or there every great while. Even when the European visited it was mostly spent checking on the going ons of the colonies, never did he pay much interest to his charges.

Matthew doubted Arthur had even an inkling what pain he caused Alfred to go through for so many years and if he did, he didn't show he seemed to care he was hurting Alfred. Arthur never payed much attention to him or Alfred unless it related to his particular interest or needs. How much resources could he get out of them this year, how much taxes, should he increase import? Exports? To Arthur, they were more so tools for his own benefit than anything else. Simply to be put in their place and expected to obey.

He knew Alfred knew this all along and held resentment but still couldn't understand why Alfred even included Arthur in his Bath Time. Most likely it was to gained some control over his former caretaker (not that England really did much caregiving.)

Matthew had been so angry at the Island nation back then, and still held resentment for him constantly having hurt Alfred during those times. But of course Arthur wasn't the only one to hurt Alfred. There were plenty others too.

It was during this time of taking care of Alfred, being the only one he could really rely on that Matthew's brotherly feelings started to warp. He knew it was wrong to feel satisfaction when his sickly brother would call out his name, lean on him, feel a blush creep on his face when they sleep in the same bed. Although it had been something they had done hundreds of times before but now it was different. He also couldn't help the twinge of remorse when Alfred became healthy again

At first Matthew had been embarrassed, fearful, but confused more than anything of these new feeling towards his brother. He had never felt disgusted by his feelings but knew he couldn't share them. He tried at one point distancing himself from Alfred but only ended up making the honey blonde cry. Matthew promised to never hurt his brother again. He would make sure he would be there for Alfred.

Then the war of 1812 had happened. He still remembered the day clearly August 24, 1814. He hadn't want to hurt Alfred. England had tricked him. Made him believe Alfred had been hurt by these people but was rescued and safely tucked away He hated to admit to himself he had wanted to hurt them not just for hurting Alfred but for a rage that had boiled within him when they separated him from Alfred with their independence. He felt sick every time he remembered that and had agreed with England that they needed be taught a lesson. It was all a lie. Alfred was fine but because of Matthew he had been hurt. He should have known it was all a lie. He should have known even if he wanted to hurt them, even if they had hurt his brother he couldn't hurt them for his brother would still suffer. Hadn't he learned that after so many years glued to the bedside of the once frail blonde.

He didn't see Alfred for a long time after that. Guilt eating at him. Even after seeing Alfred for the first time in so long he couldn't bring himself to say a word. Although he had wanted to apologize, fall to his knees and beg for forgiveness he couldn't bring himself to utter a word about it. He didn't want to face the truth that he had broken his promise, he had hurt his brother. Something he had said he would never do.

Matthew resolved to make that promise to himself once again but this time he would keep it.

Sometimes it became so hard for him to hold back. Sometimes he really did just want to stand up and shout his love for Alfred. To openly show that he loved Alfred. And he hated the fact that other nations could so openly love Alfred. (like they could ever really love him) He hated them because of that. They were all so needy, greedy. Always hogging Alfred, hogging his voice, his laugh, his smile, his touches- Matthew was snapped out of thoughts suddenly.

"Matthew?" Alfred asked with concern, gently touching the other's shoulder.

"Huh-What?" Matthew said, blinking at Alfred who grabbed his hands out of the dishwater were tiny broken shards of the plate he had been washing had been shattered and been crushed from his death like grip. His fists had still been curled from where he had held it, the knuckles were white.

"You okay Mattie?" Alfred said, drying off Matthew's hands, looking at the cuts.

"Oh um yea." Matthew said, blushing.

Alfred ran his hands under a cold tap and quickly grabbed a first aid kit, bandaging Matthew's wounds quickly and efficiently with an expert hand.

"Maybe you should lay down." Alfred suggested, Matthew nodded and headed to bed. Alfred finished up the rest of their dishes before he went to his own bed.

So yea, Mattie has a lot of pent-up rage especially at his former caretaker. Poor Mattie trying to hold his feelings for Alfred without loosing control. So basically Bath Time was started because Alfred has control issues.