Hello! I realize that it's been over a month since I've last updated, but it's just been so hectic lately. I've had my birthday, piles of homework, and two weeks of exams. Still, very sorry about the delay, but it might happen again, because my next lot of exams are in June and I have tons of studying to catch up on, but I'll do my best to take some time to update…that is, if anyone's still reading this! ;)

I'd like to thank the reviewers from the last chapter: itsMrsBlack, Guest, Blakstag07 and PatronusIsAMockingjay3. Thanks so much, it's great to get some feedback

So anyway, chapter! This one starts off right where the last one ended, so enjoy! (And leave me a little review, maybe? Pretty please? ;))

Lissa's POV

Sirius' lips were firm and only slightly chapped against mine as I desperately moved my lips against them, trying to coax some sort of response, any sort of response, out of him. I threaded my fingers through his thick curly hair roughly, pulling on the dark silky strands in desperation, ignoring the sharp burst of pain in my still-healing left hand as I did so. Nothing. My face burning bright with humiliation, I flung myself away from Sirius, shuffling over the bed and slipping off of it on the other side. I was dimly aware of a few drops of moisture dripping down my cheeks. Touching my face, I realized that I was crying. I sprinted out of the Hospital Wing as fast as I could, body heaving with sobs. The last thing I saw before I slipped through the Hospital Wing doors was Sirius, still sitting in the exact same position as he had been before, lips looking maybe a little swollen, glossy black curls disheveled and out of place. His expression was blank.

Sirius' POV

Lissa kissed me. Lissa... kissed me. Lissa kissed… me. The fuck? Her lips were on mine for mere seconds, her small fingers pulling roughly on my hair. I could feel the desperation radiating off her, along with something…else, something that I could identify. Then, before I could even process what was happening, Lissa jerked away from me, eyes glassy and face burning. Without a word of warning, she was gone, turning tail and sprinting out of the Hospital Wing, sobbing softly as she ran. It was only a few moments later that it actually sunk in.

I leapt to my feet immediately, a torrent of emotions crashing into me with all the force of a small typhoon. Shock, fear, anger, curiosity… The strongest of all of them, however, was pure unadulterated joy. I had known since I was about five and had witnessed my father shouting obscenities at the crockery one night at dinner that I couldn't expect to turn out one hundred percent sane, especially coming from the family I had. I was probably some sort of insane masochist or something along those lines, because I knew that, despite the fact that Lissa had hurt me, broken my trust and made me feel like it was all my fault, I still loved her. And judging by the emotion I had felt Lissa pour into that one kiss, I could deduce that she probably felt something for me too.

I suppose that this is goodbye then, Sirius. At least now you understand why I did what I did, and that I never have and never will hate you. I'll understand if you don't feel quite the same. Also, since I won't be seeing you again I suppose you should know something else- I love you.

I could reel off every word off that letter Lissa had given James for me at the beginning of the summer, but I liked to at least think that I was a somewhat logical person, despite Lily Evans and McGonagall's constant protestations to the contrary. I knew that Lissa had most likely been high on emotion when she had written that letter, and also that, despite the mounds of evidence to the contrary, was actually a considerate person. She knew that she'd hurt me, so she'd probably only been throwing me some scraps to soften the many blows, maybe thinking that telling me that she had loved me would make me feel better about losing her. After all, I knew all about fooling yourself when it came to love- I'd spent the first eleven years of my life, pretending to myself and the world that I loved my family, pretending that they loved me too. Faking love was actually pretty simple, and I was half sure that that was what Lissa had done. I knew that I loved her, but I wasn't so sure that she loved me, an assumption that, going on the past nine months or so, seemed a fair enough one to make for me.

I started towards the doors of the Hospital Wing, intent on finding Lissa and asking her what the hell she had been playing at when she kissed me. Where had she gone, anyway? I wandered through the corridors, checking every broom cupboard and niche for a certain short, dark-haired girl. After nearly fifteen minutes of searching and finding nothing, though, I was getting a little nervous. It was only a matter of time before Madam Pomfrey went to check on Lissa and found her gone, before Bard and Remus returned from their walk and raised the alarm. Lissa was going to get the both of us killed. McGonagall was not in a generous mood after the events of tonight. If I were a traumatized, humiliated teenage girl, where would I hide?

Remus' POV

I was barely aware of my surroundings as I walked across the Quidditch pitch, hands shaking and brow sweating, barely able to resist 'pulling a Prongs' (as Sirius and Pete would call it) and ruffle my hair. I was sure that my face was deathly pale, going on the strong sense of nausea I felt. So gripped was I in my own state of internal terror, that I hardly remembered the young boy stumbling along a few steps behind me, the root of my current dilemma. He knows- Bard knows that I'm a werewolf. Bard Black knows that I'm a werewolf. One word from him to the right people, and it's all over. My life is all over.

"Hey, hey! Lupin!" At the sound of that slightly shaky and oddly familiar voice I whirled round and fixed my panicked, near-hysterical gaze on Bard. This was the kid who had somehow managed to figure out my biggest secret, the one that had taken my three dorm-mates and best friends nearly two and a half year to figure out, the one that had the power to destroy what little was left of what I liked to call the pitiful remains of my life lately. One word from Bard Cygnus Black and I would end up either being arrested by the Ministry or pursued by the Death Eaters. Being asked to choose between a lifetime in Azkaban or an existence in the service of You-Know-Who under Fenrir Greyback was like being asked to choose whether you'd rather swallow rusty nails or stab yourself in the eye with a Muggle surgical needle. Still, despite the many dark and depressing scenarios skating through my overactive, wired brain, the kid who held my fate in his hands (to be melodramatic, which was always more of James and Sirius' forte) wasn't looking as though he was currently mulling over the most creatively sadistic way to end my life. He looked…terrified.

Bard was paler than any ghost I'd seen, his paper-white translucent-looking skin stretched tightly over familiar aristocratic cheekbones. His hair was coal-black and almost invisible in the pitch-dark night, and although I knew that it wasn't possible for eyes to be totally black, Bard's haunted dark grey eyes were the closest I'd ever come to it. He looked so much like Sirius, but at the same time so radically different. Not that different, though. Not that different at all.

As I watched, Bard sunk to the grassy ground of the pitch (practically manicured, at James' insistence) and crossed his legs underneath him, sitting Indian-style. I imitated him, sitting down and crossing my legs. We stared at each other for a while without saying a word, but then Bard's gaze drifted away to a point a little above my head. I turned slowly to follow his line of sight, and was met with the sobering sight of a bright half-moon. I had about two weeks until my next transformation.

"I never said I'd tell, you know- about your secret. I might be a lot of things: a liar, a cheat, a manipulator, a thief…surprised I'm not in Slytherin, really…but I'd never do that, not to someone like you, Lupin." I whirled back round to face Bard, feeling a little confused. Bard's thin pale face glowed back at me in the moonlight, dark eyes sparkling with an ancient sadness and self-loathing. In that moment, he looked like nothing more than a very confused, and very lost, little boy. Albeit a lost and confused little boy who clearly got around to doing more than listening at dormitory keyholes.

It was only then that I realized that I had yet to reply to Bard's earnest declaration. "That's…good of you, I guess, kiddo. You've obviously got a lot of guts, so I'm not surprised you're in Gryffindor. Anyway, Bard, you're eleven years old. If I told you about everything I've ever done, especially in the past year and summer, you wouldn't believe it. You can't possibly be half as screwed up as me."

Bard snorted a little at that. "Lupin, I am the King of Keyhole-Listening. I already know what you did last summer, and the entire school knows what you and your friends got up to last year. And let me tell you, we've got a hell of a lot in common." This time it was my turn to snort. This kid was bloody eleven. I was speaking before I even realized it. "Bring it on, kiddo, because there's no way you could out-do me, not at being a truly messed-up human being."

Bard smiled crookedly, sending a bolt of recognition through my brain. Sirius. Whatever anyone thinks, this kid is a pure Black. He really is. "I know that you spent the summer holidays looking for my reluctant half-brother's runaway girlfriend who also happens to be my tutor, and also happens to be related to the most infamous non-Death Eater of the last ten years. You and all of the other current Gryffindor seventh-years as well as five other older Gryffindor boys and a Ravenclaw spent most of your holidays with a said infamous non-Death Eater, and some of you ran into a few very interesting characters along the way, didn't you? I know you didn't meet him personally, but I know for a fact that Sirius mentioned him to the three of you. Elliot Stuart?"

My breath caught in my throat for the briefest of instants before I got it under control. Bard Black might be wily and intelligent, but there was no way he was out-maneuvering me. Forcing a not of calm into my voice, I replied, "And what does this have to do with you, kiddo? I was under the impression that you're supposed to be dazzling me with tales of your marvelous adventures!" I was laying the sarcasm on a bit thick, even for someone who spent a relatively large amount of time in the company of Lily Evans.

Bard didn't even blink. Merlin, but this kid was good. "It has a lot to do with me, actually. I seem to be a rather popular target for the Death Eaters, if only because at least a solid half of them are distant relatives pissed-off by my existence, and the esteemed Professor Dumbledore has determined that I am unable to defend myself. He may be right, but that doesn't mean I need a babysitter. So yeah, I spend quite a lot of time when I'm not at home with Stuart, or with Eddie Bones whenever Stuart is out doing something worth his time as a member of the Order. As a direct result of the whole 'babysitter' thing, I get to spend a lot of time around the Order- even been to a few meetings.

"Now, Lupin, I have a rather vested interest in my continued existence on this good earth, therefore I keep an ear out for things that might concern me or anyone I know, which, before I started here, was basically just my family and sometimes the Blacks. So I've heard an awful lot about what exactly it is the Death Eaters get up to with their victims, how precisely the bodies look afterwards, and what the Blacks, my family, have done to hundreds of innocent people, and that includes the Crawford family. Coincidentally, I know quite a bit about the two Crawford boys- they aren't as good at covering their tracks as they think. Also, I'm not dumb, I know that the Black clan must have had something to do with my mother's death, not that that was all too traumatizing, to be perfectly honest, since she always hated Cygnus Black more than she ever loved me. So I didn't love my mother like I should have, and then she went and got herself killed and now I'll never be able to fix that.

"I could probably tell you more, Lupin, seeing as how basically everything I've said so far is common knowledge to anyone with a brain- I'm expecting the letter about Eddie and Elliot's deaths any day now, they're Dumbledore's front men for the Order, you've read what Eddie Bones writes in the Prophet- but I think I'll keep the rest to myself, because if it got out that I'd told you about anything else it'd get me killed, and me living pisses the ever-loving shit out of Cygnus and Druella Black."

Bard finally stopped talking and took a deep shuddering breath. I just stared at him, brain on overdrive. I looked more closely at Bard- sure he was a little pale, a bit isolated, I knew he was bullied, I knew that his cousin and extended family didn't know the half of what he went through… Merlin, but this kid was tough.

I pushed myself up off the grass and stretched out my arms above my head, before letting them fall back to my sides. "You win, kid," I said simply to Bard, hoping that the look in my eyes conveyed how impressed I was. Bard didn't want pity, he wanted empathy, and that was something I found myself able to give. He nodded shortly at me before ignoring my outstretched hand and pulling himself up. His small thin face went white with strain, and he gritted his teeth tightly, but not a single groan of pain passed his lips. I felt a small smile spread across my face as Bard and I set off back to the Castle. This kid had been through a lot, and he had a lot more to go through, but he was tough. I decided that I liked him.

Lissa's POV

I sprinted through the corridors, borne by James Potter's relentless fitness training from last year and the remains of a lingering adrenalin rush, pushing the throbbing, stabbing pain in my left hand to the back of my mind. The only coherent thought in my head was that I had to get away, get as far away from Sirius Black as I could. My tattered bloody school robes hung open and billowed out behind me as I ran, and I could feel the blood (mostly Bard's) and grime crusting on my blouse and skirt. My knee-high stockings, which despite Lily and Mary's best efforts, had never actually been at my knees, had slipped down to my ankles, and the untied laces of my neon pink tennis shoes were flying everywhere.

Without any conscious thought on my part, my feet carried me to the Astronomy Tower. I stumbled through the door into the Tower observatory room, and collapsed onto my knees before I could grasp the railing at the edge with my good hand. I let my head rest against the cool metal of the iron barrier that began below the railing. As soon as I let my body relax, my brain started buzzing, thoughts firing at a blinding and nauseating speed.

I kissed Sirius Black. Regulus Black is definitely a Death Eater, and Sirius will never get his brother back. Bellatrix Black has not given up on me. Bard is Bellatrix's half-brother. When the Slytherins find out about the pending expulsions, they'll butcher me. I KISSED SIRIUS. I kissed Sirius, I kissed Sirius and he didn't kiss me back. Oh Merlin, oh Merlin… What am I going to do?

I cast my mind back to the kiss I'd given Sirius in the Hospital Wing- the way he'd smelled (so achingly familiar), how silky his wild curly hair had felt under my fingers, the blank look on his face as I'd pulled away and ran… I clenched my hands into fists at the painful memory, the action sending such a violent wave of white-hot searing pain through my body that my stomach almost turned inside out. I barely managed to pull myself upright by the railing with my right hand before I was bending over and throwing up everything I'd eaten in the last few hours, which admittedly wasn't much. Merlin, I'd feel horrible if Hagrid was down there.

Sighing wearily, I reached into the back pocket of my skirt with my god hand and brought out my wand. I flicked it sharply, reveling in the familiar sharp minty taste of the handy mouthwash spell Elliot had taught me. Elliot. Oh Elliot, whatever became of you? Are you even still alive?

I slumped against the railing, putting all of my weight against the aging metal, unable to summon the energy to care when it gave an ominous creak. Would it even really be that bad if I fell? After the horror and humiliation of the last day, it would almost be a blessing. I let my gaze drift out and admire the stars, bright and clearly visible from where I stood, it being the observatory and all. It took me less than half a minute to find the star Sirius had been named for: the Dog Star, the brightest star in the sky. Next I spotted Regulus, the star that, although bright in its own right, was nothing compared to the blazing brilliance of Sirius.

Sirius, who had a passing interest in Astronomy, had once told me of two popular nicknames for the star Regulus: 'heart of the lion' and 'little prince'. Looking out at the pretty point of light, I couldn't help but think of the small pale boy bound to the Hospital Wing bed, unrepentant but unable to hide the slightest flicker of regret at what his life had come to, at what his family had brought him to. Despite everything that had happened, I still hoped for the best for Regulus Black. He was so young- barely sixteen- and was nothing more than a puppet of his powerful and vicious family. It wasn't his fault that he wasn't Sirius, able to obliterate any obstacle that stood in his path with sheer force of personality and determination. It wasn't fair to place all of the blame for his own actions on Regulus. Evan Rosier and Antonin Dolohov, on the other hand, were Grade A shitheads who took a sick kind of pleasure in others' pain. They fit in well with the Lestranges and Blacks.

I let my mind wander, and eventually it settled on an image of a boy with blond highlights, a glittering silver nose-stud, and liquid butterscotch eyes. Elliot Stuart. I wondered how his bar was doing, if he had gone on any missions for the Order lately. If he was even still alive, especially if Bellatrix had found out that he had sheltered me over the summer. That thought hurt- I didn't want Elliot to die, and I wanted him to be dead because of me even less. I wondered about what exactly had been between Elliot, DJ and Jasper- I knew that Jasper had been pissed at Elliot for joining the Order, but there had to be more. The sadness in Elliot's eyes when he spoke about his old friends, the fury in Jasper's when he had seen Elliot for the first time in years, most likely since the 'betrayal'… It all spoke of something greater, something more. There had to be more.

The soft sound of gentle footsteps at the entrance to the observatory room startled me out of my thoughts, and I didn't dare move. I clenched my fists again, letting the pain anchor me. I turned around slowly to face the intruder, wand extended clumsily in my right hand as I internally cursed out Rosier, Regulus and Dolohov for hitting my wand hand with Bellatrix's curse. Fucking bastards.

When I saw who the intruder was, my hand dropped back to my side like it was made of lead. Sirius. He'd found me. Brilliant, my inner voice bit sarcastically. I couldn't help but agree.

Sirius' POV

I pushed open the door that led out into the observatory on top of the Astronomy Tower as silently as possible. After I'd checked the Kitchens, the Common Room, the Library, and determined that there was no way Lissa would run to her dormitory and risk breaking down in front of her friends, I'd only been able to think of one other place she would have gone. The door opened without so much as a creak, and the sight of the slim, rather short figure standing at the railing faced away from me, told me that I had ben right about Lissa's location.

Lissa's dark hair hung down her back in a messy, unraveling braid, her robes hung open loosely on her, covered in dried blood and dust, and her calves, unprotected by the customary school stockings, were smeared with grime and light grazes, but she had never looked more beautiful. As I stepped forward into the room, Lissa twitched ever so slightly before spinning around, wand at the ready, even as it shook as she was forced to use her weaker hand. When she saw who it was, her hand swung back to her side, and an expression similar to that of a der caught in the headlights of a Muggle car crept over her face.

I forced a smile, but I had a feeling that it probably ended up closer to a grimace. "Hey, Lissa," I said quietly, taking slow careful steps towards her frozen form. I was barely two feet away from her when she snapped out of it. "Hullo," she responded in a wary voice that informed me that she was trying to figure out whether she'd get away from me faster if she jumped the railing or used the door. I folded my arms across my chest, discreetly tightening my grip on my wand. Lissa was going nowhere. We had been running in circles around each other for months, and I was sick of it. We were going to have a long and serious talk, and we were going to have one now.

I tooled my expression into a neutral one, desperate to hide the uncertainty and apprehension that coiled my insides. When I was sure that I was alright, I began to speak. "So, Liss, care to tell me why you kissed me back there?," I asked, struggling to keep my tone light. I could see Lissa's 'fight or flight' instincts coming out overwhelmingly in favor of 'flight', so I subtly settled into a defensive stance. She wasn't getting away again, not this time. Lissa seemed to think for a minute before shaking her head emphatically, staring down at the untied laces of her bright pink shoes. "Pass," she said in a voice so low it could almost be qualified as a whisper.

Pass? I ask her why she snogged the hell out of me, and all she can say is fucking 'pass'? Are you kidding me? I could feel myself getting angrier and angrier, but I did my best to hide it, knowing that Lissa would use any excuse to curse me and bolt. "Bullshit," I spat, not doing such a great job on the whole 'hiding my anger' thing. Lissa started slightly, clearly shocked and probably not having expected me to lose my temper. Well, she was going to learn very quickly that I had been bottling up my emotions for far too long, and I just couldn't do it anymore. Couldn't beg her, couldn't chase her, couldn't pour my heart out to her, ever again, not after this. This would be the last time I laid myself bare, because I just couldn't keep doing it. There was only so many times you could kick a dog before it didn't come back to you.

"Excuse me?," Lissa responded disbelievingly. I stared her down calmly, nodding curtly. "Bullshit," I repeated, "You kissed me back there, and I want to know why. The truth." Lissa turned her head away and gulped, obviously nervous. That made me nervous. Was the reason she'd kissed me really that bad? Had I had bad breath? Had she realized that she just didn't like me anymore? Whipped, dude, whipped- and she's not even your girlfriend. You're the hurt one here, you're the victim. Stop acting like such a kicked puppy desperate for affection. I shuddered slightly; the voice in my head sounded unnervingly like Remus. Creepy.

Lissa was deathly pale and chewing her bottom lip like a trembling bunny rabbit (sexy but a little weird, even for me, with that imagery). Her brow was creased and eyes closed tightly, and I couldn't place her expression. Then it hit me: pain. My gaze dropped to Lissa's left hand, hanging by her side, clenched into a tight fist. The hand that, an hour or so ago, had played host to bones that had literally been powder. What the hell was she playing at?

Dude, you care way too much. Say it after me now- ex-girlfriend.

Fuck off, Remus. And stop calling me 'dude'. Not the time. Merlin, I really am going insane.

I was in front of Lissa before either of us knew it, reaching for her hand and carefully uncurling her fingers. She gasped lightly, and I tensed, suddenly aware of what I had done, and where I was now standing- inches away from Lissa, holding onto her hand loosely. A fizzy sort of tingle ran down my spine, making me shiver with awareness. It was an achingly familiar feeling, and brought with it an overwhelming rush of nostalgia as well as a teenage-boy-load of lust. I had missed that feeling, and I instantly wanted more of it.

I leaned down slowly, gazing into Lissa's eyes with what I hoped was a look of blazing intensity instead of a look of constipation (as James had pointed out, none too kindly, that was something I still needed to work on, despite my considerable appearance). She stiffened as I traced my hands up her arms from where I had been holding hers, bringing them to rest gently on her shoulders. I leaned down slowly, Lissa had always been a little short, and I had always been all long limbs and elbows, freakishly tall. The elbows were becoming less bony and lanky now, though, and I was growing up.

I tilted my head slightly, the tip of my nose barely touching Lissa's, giving her the chance to move away. She didn't though, and judging by the flush of her cheeks and her dilated pupils, she didn't want to either. Suddenly I couldn't wait any longer. Leaning forwards the remaining few inches, I touched my lips to Lissa's.

Her reaction was immediate: a heartbeat later there were warm hands wrapping around my neck, trembling fingers running through my hair, Lissa's entire body pressed up against mine so closely that you couldn't have fit a sheet of paper between us. I kissed her eagerly, licking along her lips playfully until she smiled and granted me access. Our tongues met, slipping and sliding over each other in the most sensual way possible as we explored each other's mouths eagerly, bumping noses and banging teeth but not caring. The feeling was back, dazzling fireworks exploding under my eyelids, a tremble travelling down my spine like electricity. It was the perfect kiss, and maybe that's why I didn't notice the footsteps behind me until it was too late.

"There you are, Lissa, Madam Pomfrey said- OH FOR MERLIN'S SAKE, THE TWO OF YOU ARE LIKE HORNY PUPPIES OR SOMETHING! MERLIN, BUT YOU BOTH ARE AFFECTIONATE! STOP IT!"

I pressed my lips against Lissa's harder, determined to ignore the irritatingly familiar voice and continue with snogging the living daylights out of the hottest girl in the world, but unfortunately said hottest girl in the world had other ideas and pulled away, breathing heavily as a look of shock settled over her flushed face. Stomach churning with dread, I spun round on my heel, raking a hand over my head in an attempt to fix my hair somewhat.

I froze on the spot when I realized who had walked in on Lissa and I. Wade Simmons. Wade mother-fucking Simmons. Oh well, pissed as I may have been about his intrusion, he didn't look incredibly chuffed with me either. Looking a little irritated, actually. To put it mildly. Somewhere behind me, Lissa groaned.

Hat set Simmons off again. "WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU PLAYING AT, LISSA! YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE IN THE HOSPITAL WING—" All of a sudden, I really, really, didn't appreciate Simmons' intrusion. I swung back around to face Lissa, and gripping onto her shoulders tightly enough to elicit a shocked gasp (and an indignated huff from Simmons, but screw him), I leaned down to recapture her lips with mine. I dimly registered an outraged howl from somewhere behind me, but decided that I'd really much rather make out with Lissa than listen to Wade Simmons' temper tantrum. That turned out to be a mistake later, but anyway.

Lissa clung to me tightly, her fingers pressing hard into my skull as she held my head (and by extension, my lips) against hers. I smiled into the kiss, and wrapped my arms around her waist tightly in return. Merlin, but this was romantic…and very steamy. Romantically steamy.

"HORNY FUCKING PUPPIES! REVERBERO!," Simmons screamed furiously. I only had a second to register the meaning of his spell before it hit me and I was sent flying across the observatory room to the sound of Lissa's shocked screams. I crashed against the far well hard, smacking my head off first the stone wall and then the stone flagstones with a sickening crack, before I came to rest sprawled out moaning on the ground. I rolled my head to the side and lifted it a few inches, wincing at the pain of the action, and hissed angrily at the sight of a very self-satisfied-looking Wade Simmons leaning against the far wall with a smirk, twirling his wand through his fingers, winking tauntingly at me. That's my thing, asshole.

Then I saw Lissa. She looked like she was torn between screaming and laughing, but finally settled for a cute fit of giggles. I rested my head back against the flagstones with a dreamy sigh and let my eyes drift closed. Lissa and I kissed. So romantic. So perfect. Then another wave of pain crashed over my head, and I groaned. And now I have a perfect romantic concussion. Still, so worth it.

So… thoughts? Is that how you pictured things going? What do you think of Bard now, and Remus? How about Sirius' inner 'Remus'? All opinions- positive, negative- are more than welcome, since I'd really like to know what I'm doing wrong and what I'm getting right. Feedback is love! Thanks for reading, hope you liked it