G-chan: I am so sorry, it's been months since the last update. So to whoever will still bother to read this...

one long-ass prequel to the main story, showing random snippets of Ikuto (and Amu's) life before and slightly after Amu left.

Sorry for any mistakes

I stared at the letters on the screen in front of me, squinting my eyes in frustration. My hands had been hovering above the keyboard of my laptop for a good thirty to sixty minutes, yet I'd only managed to write two paragraphs of my 5-page essay that was due tomorrow. Yup, this wasn't going anywhere any time soon.

Sighing, I looked at the clock at the bottom of the screen. 17:45. I had to be at one of my many part-time jobs in fifteen minutes. Giving my 'work' a last glance, I saved it and shut my laptop down, and started to gather my stuff.

The apartment I lived in wasn't really small, but wasn't exactly big either. There were two bedrooms, one for me and one for Utau, a kitchen, a bathroom and of course a living room. The rent was reasonable. If you had a steady job, that is. As we had no parents or family with an income, it was up to me to gather the rent by taking up an array of part-time jobs. Utau had forbidden me to quit school and now she was forcing me to go to college, majoring in music, so I could pursue my dream of becoming a violinist. "You'll earn plenty of money when you're famous anyway," is what she always said. So part-time jobs were the only option left. One of which I would be late for if I didn't hurry up.

It occurred to me that it was eerily quiet in the apartment. "Utau's not home yet, huh?" I mumbled as I searched for my keys and wallet. No sooner had those words left my mouth, when the door opened, revealing Utau in her Seiyo high uniform. "Thank you for treating me to dinner, senpai, but you really didn't have to, you know." A voice uttered, a female voice. A female voice I didn't recognise. "Don't worry, it's no big deal! It was fun right?" Utau this time. She stayed silent for a couple of seconds, so I assumed the mystery girl nodded. Utau continued. "Besides, this way we avoided my annoying brother!"

I raised an eyebrow. What had happened to the Utau that kept saying she loved me and wanted to marry me? Don't get me wrong, she only got over that like, three years ago. Oh well. Time for me to step in. "Utau, who's this?" I tried to sound pleasantly surprised, happy she had brought along a guest, though in reality I couldn't care less. Messing with Utau was always worth it, though.

Utau flinched at the sound of my voice and turned around, glaring. She made a 'tch' sound, but quickly turned her grimace into a sickly, sweet smile. "Well hello there, dearest brother of mine, this is Hinamori Amu, a first year. We have to do a project together," she said while motioning to the girl, apparently named Amu . "Amu, this is my older brother, Ikuto, he's a college student."

I looked Hinamori Amu over. She was a couple of inches shorter than Utau. She wore her uniform in a unique way, a red band was wrapped around her arm, kept in place with a safety pin. Red and black checkered leg warmers adorned her legs and various buttons were pinned to her red tie. She looked like some kind of punk rebel or something. It made me a bit doubtful. Did I really want my sister hanging around some weirdo like this?

I moved from her clothes to her face, examining it carefully. She looked slightly scared of me, but at the same time gave me and intimidating look. It didn't really suit her, to be honest. She didn't look like a tough punk at all. I briefly wondered why she seemed to be trying so hard to look tough.

Her hair was a distracting bubblegum pink. That was the first time I'd ever seen someone with pink hair. All in all she was okay, above average, but not incredibly hot. Her eyes were a completely different story, though. A beautiful honey-golden colour that seemed to suck me right in, as if I could never look away. Eyes that were too beautiful for words to even begin to describe.

I stared directly into them for several seconds, making her flush and avert her eyes. "Nice to meet ya," I finally said nonchalantly, trying to hide the fact that I had been, well, blatantly checking her out. Hinamori Amu bowed and muttered a nearly inaudible "same here."

An arm wrapped around Amu's as Utau pulled her closer, proceeding to stand in front of her as if to protect the younger girl. "Geez, Ikuto, you're scaring her. Aren't you supposed to go to work or something?"

Crap.

I really was gonna be late.

"Utau, help me find my wallet and keys!" I ordered my sister, a slight panicked edge to my voice. I mean, I couldn't afford to get fired.

"They're on the table. Are you blind or something?"

I shot her a glare, receiving an 'angelic' smile in return. "Which job is it today, by the way?" she asked as I stuffed my wallet, keys and phone into the pocket of my jacket.

"Shinsengumi café."

"I see, have fun."

With a hand on the doorknob I looked back over my shoulder, catching a glimpse of the pink-haired girl, who jumped slightly when she caught my gaze. I just gave her a blank look and made my way out of the door, running towards the job I was now officially going to be late to.

As expected, I was about ten minutes late. Fortunately the manager was in a good mood and let me off with a warning (which I was really lucky to get away with, as he's usually very strict). And at 23:00 my shift finally ended. "Good work today, Ikuto-kun," one of my co-workers complimented me. "You too," I replied, while removing my wig and putting it in my locker. Since this was a shinsengumi themed café, us waiters had to play the part and dress up and act like samurai did all those years ago.

As I removed my kimono, my co-worker continued the conversation, blabbering on and on about some annoying customers or good-looking girls that he nearly got their number off of. At least I think he was talking about that, I wasn't really listening to be honest. My mind drifted off towards my yet-to-be-finished-essay, the fact I had morning classes tomorrow, and a certain pink-haired girl...

"You're doing it again, Ikuto-kun~" My co-worker's sudden whining snapped me back into reality. "Huh?" I turned to face him, still a bit out of it.

"You were spacing out again! You did it during work as well. Is something bothering you?"

Something bothering me? There wasn't anything bothering me, really. What had I been thinking about again? Nothing important in particular. I suppose... well... My mind had kept slipping to the girl Utau had brought with her. Amu. I wonder why she interested me so much. I mean, I'd never really shown interest in any girl before. So what was so special about her? Her unusual hair colour, I guess. And...her eyes...

"Not really," I answered, earning me a doubtful look. "If you say so..."

"Uuuuugghhh," I let out a groan as I laid my head on the cafeteria table. As expected, I had to pull an all-nighter to finish my damn essay, only having finished it at three in the morning. And now I was dead tired. Utau had even been so friendly as to point out the giant bags under my eyes.

"Hello, Ikuto-tan~! You look horrible~" an incredibly cheery voice interrupted my inner turmoil. I lifted my head just enough to be able to see Yuiki Yaya sliding onto the empty chair in front of me, her orange pigtails swaying with the movement.

"Good morning to you too," I replied, not bothering to hide the irritation in my voice.

"Aw, c'mon. Don't be like that. You'll go bald if you act like such a sourpuss all the time!"

"Yaya-san, there has never been any scientific evidence that that could ever happen. Please stop making things up, he seems to be in enough pain as it is." Another voice joined the conversation, male this time, belonging to Sanjo Kairi, Yaya's boyfriend. Now, I've known these two since high school and I still don't quite understand how someone as serious and smart as Kairi could ever date someone as loud and energetic as Yaya. But who am I to judge?

"Ikuto-san, it looks to me like you're lacking sleep. Be honest, what time did you get in bed yesterday?" Kairi pushed his glasses up the brim of his nose, causing the lenses to shine slightly. I bit my lip, knowing that I'd get hell once I told him. "Ikuto-san."

An audible sigh escaped my lips. "3am, okay?" I watched Kairi's mouth fall open and his expression change to one of sheer anger. "What the hell were you still doing up so late? You know very well you have to get up at 6am to make breakfast and a bento for your little sister. Why would you even need to stay up until such an hour?" The dark green-haired student sounded utterly outraged and honestly reminded me somewhat of a mother.

"Look, I had my shift at the café until 11 and had to stay up to finish that essay that was due today. I'd have loved to sleep a lot earlier but I just couldn't, okay?"

Kairi removed his glasses to massage the bridge of his nose and looked up at me with piercing blue eyes. "Ikuto-san, you're overworking yourself. I mean, really overworking yourself. Don't get me wrong, I fully understand why you're working as hard as you do, but it's too much. If you keep this up you'll seriously damage your health. You have to keep healthy for your sister's sake, right? Worrying her should be the last thing on your mind."

Honestly, I knew Kairi was right. In hind sight, I did have a lot more part-time jobs than the average college student. But I didn't have a choice. I sighed loudly and cradled my head in my hands. "I know, Kairi, but I have to pay for the food and the bills somehow."

"Fine, fine, I give up, I understand. So I guess this means I'll see you at the café after school no matter what I say, huh?" Kairi gave a small smile, which I returned. "You bet."

"Aaw, it's always so heartwarming when guys make amends," Yaya said lovingly as she rested her head in her hands, smiling widely.

"Shut up, Yaya." I playfully punched her arm, causing her to giggle and Kairi to pout in jealousy, and me to smirk in victory.

I tied a black apron around my waist, covering my black dress pants. Don't ask me why in all the cafés I worked in I was required to dress up. Tonight was when I worked in a butler themed café, where the staff, obviously, dressed as butlers, complete with combed back hair, glasses and even the whole "welcome, mistress" thing.

I left the dressing room, to come face to face with Kairi, who had also got a job here (most likely to keep an eye on me). He stifled a laugh. "The whole neat look really doesn't suit you, y'know?"

"You really don't have to tell me that..."

We continued some small talk and eventually started our shifts, Kairi serving as a waiter and me greeting customers (which I guess might not have been the best choice, but I get paid well so, hey, I ain't complaining).

The afternoon was fairly uneventful and in that way fairly boring, though when I stood there greeting people, my head started to hurt a bit. It became slightly more difficult to breath as well, but I didn't pay any attention to it. And then, around about 7, guess who, none other than Hinamori Amu stepped through the door, accompanied by a short dirty blonde who wore a blank expression.

She hadn't noticed me yet, so I reluctantly greeted her and her friend to grab their attention , as I was required to do so. "Welcome." Both girls looked up at me in reaction to my voice and I saw Amu's eyes widen slightly as she looked into mine, obviously recognizing me now.

"Ikuto-san, what are you doing here?" She questioned me. My eye twitched in annoyance as I motioned to my work outfit. "Are you blind or something?" The pink-haired girl looked me over and seemed to finally register what I was wearing. "Oh, you work here?"

"No shit, sherlock."

I caught a glare from the short blonde from the corner of my eye, but averted my attention when Amu spoke up once more. "Wait, didn't Utau say you worked at that shinsengumi themed restaurant?"

"And here, and at the gas station, the convenience store, also at that family restaurant, that sportswear store, I work in that music store on fridays and that cosplay cafe on the weekends," I said while counting all my part-time jobs on my fingers. God, now I actually said it out loud it was a damn lot.

"Wh... That's like seven jobs!" She exclaimed outraged. I narrowed my eyes and gave the younger girl an 'are you an idiot' look. "I have to earn money to pay the rent somehow, right?"

Amu looked down, suddenly finding her red all-stars very interesting. "I guess so," She mumbled.

She looked like a rejected puppy and it made me feel kind of bad, to be honest. I sighed, which made me feel slightly dizzy. "Look, are you gonna order or not?"

Another glare from shortie, which I gladly returned. "Oh, yeah, c'mon, Rima."

"I'll show you to a table." I started leading the two high schoolers towards an empty booth, but after the first few steps, it suddenly became incredibly hard to put one foot in front of the other. I managed a few clumsy steps before I was overwhelmed with a sudden amount of dizziness. I misplaced my footing, slipped and fell to the floor, hearing several surprised gasps and a faint "Ikuto-san!" before being consumed by darkness.

When I opened my eyes, I was greeted by a strong fluorescent light, making me close them again almost immediately. I racked my brain to try and remember what had happened, but that caused a sharp pain to go through my head. And then it all came back to me. I had been walking towards a booth and had passed out. Fuck.

Slowly, I brushed away the bangs from my forehead and noticed it was slightly hotter than usual, not to mention drenched in sweat, as was the rest of my body. I hated to admit it, but it looked like Kairi was right: I had actually overworked myself to the point of passing out. How embarrassing.

A loud sigh escaped my lips, causing me to feel dizzy. It confused me, since for some reason I thought I'd feel completely fine after passing out. But I guess I was wrong.

The door opened then, and I saw Hinamori Amu walking over the threshold from the corner of my eyes. Her golden eyes widened when she saw I was conscious. "Ikuto-san, you're awake!" She exclaimed as she started jogging towards me.

"Amu?"

"Thank god. Do you remember what happened? You passed out, the guy with the glasses said it was mainly cause of sleep deprivation. Does that mean you haven't been sleeping well? That's really bad for you, you know. You should take care of yourself! Oh, and your forehead felt kind of hot, so I think you might have a fever."

I blinked a couple of times, trying to register Amu's sudden flow of words in my fuzzy head. "Yeah, I kinda figured that. Hey, what time is it?"

The pink-haired girl seemed fairly hurt that I had brushed away her concern so easily, but checked the watch adorning her wrist anyway. "It's nearly ten. Why? Is there something important you have to do?"

"Yep, that gives me enough time to make up for the shift I just lost."

"Are you kidding me?!"

Just when I had finally managed to sit up straight, I was pushed back down again with full force, making me feel slightly sick.

"The hell, Hinamori?!" I was completely prepared to go all out in arguing with her, when I noticed her face was just inches from mine. I flinched back almost immediately, doing my best in suppressing the light shade of red that was threatening to appear on my cheeks.

Her hands were firmly placed on either side of me as she came ever closer, a stern look on her face. "You, sir, have to lie down and rest. Don't even think about doing any work for the next couple of days. You're gonna lay in bed and sleep till you're 100% recovered, you hear me?"

I'm not gonna lie, I felt the slightest bit intimidated by her golden eyes, but of course, chose not to show it. "Fine..." I rested my head back against the pillow, already greeting the wonderful feeling of sleep.

Satisfied, Amu lifted herself off of me and started to walk to the door, looking over her shoulder one last time. "I'll call a cab, so you don't have to worry about getting home, all right?"

I hummed quietly in response, already drifting off, and heard the door open and close behind the younger girl, leaving me alone in the back room of the café.

And I thought to myself, maybe Hinamori Amu wasn't that bad after all.

Ever since Amu had taken care of me when I had passed out, my interest in her only grew all the more stronger. It even came to the point where I started to look forward to the times the pink-haired teen would come to our small apartment.

I'd steal glances at her from the corner of my eye and notice small things about her that you'd never notice otherwise. Like the way she always closed her eyes when she laughed, how she started twirling the ends of her hair when she was hesitant to talk about something. Or how her honey-golden orbs would light up whenever she saw something she liked.

And as time went by, I knew I had started to like her. It wasn't just curiosity anymore, I had genuinely started to develop feelings for her. And it was quite new to me. Sure, I'd fooled around with girls before and thought they were hot and stuff, but I've never once harboured genuine feelings of love for anyone. Until now, that is.

Problem was, though, that I had absolutely no clue how I should show it. So I did what any man would do in an attempt to show affection.

I teased her.

I'd call her names like 'pinkie' or 'strawberry', referring to the colour of her hair and she'd always retort with "strawberries aren't pink, you blockhead!"

Whenever I happened to sit next to her, I'd poke her sides to annoy her and wouldn't stop until she completely lost it and would start yelling at me.

I'd make sarcastic remarks at nearly everything she said and would always smirk in victory, for she could never find anything to say back.

Making her blush was what I loved to do most, though. Even simple things like brushing my hand against hers or putting my hand on her shoulder were enough to make her face heat up. I learnt that her ears were here weak spot and whenever I whispered something in her ear with the huskiest voice I could muster, she'd turn a shade of red that put a tomato to shame.

I honestly thought I'd done pretty well in hiding in, but after several months of constant teasing, almost inevitably Utau confronted me about it. "Ikuto, do you like Amu?"

It hardly came as a shock, actually, I'd caught the looks she'd given me whenever I touched Amu somewhere.

"Yeah, I do. So what?"

I swear that if looks could kill, I would've been dead in mere seconds.

"Don't joke about something serious like that, please."

"I'm not. Why would you even care, anyways?"

"Amu's my best friend, of course I care, stupid."

"I'm your brother, you know I'm not some creepy pedophile or something."

Utau put her hands on her hips and sighed. "I know, but... I'm worried about her, y'know? I mean, you're five whole years older and I'm just afraid that you'll ask too much of her. That she won't be ready and..."

"What, so you think I'd push her into something she doesn't want to do? You really don't believe I'd treasure her? Cause I would. I'd care for the person I love, cherish her and love her. Do you really think I'd treat her like shit?"

A stern look spread across my face. It hurt quite a bit, to have my own sister doubt me like that. But to my surprise, a big grin spread across her face as she started slapping me on my back. "I know, I know, course I don't. It was just a... test, if you will, to see if you'd treat her right. And, well, you passed!"

I stared into my sisters violet eyes, completely dumbfounded. "I fucking hate you, Utau."

"I love you too, o-nii-chaaaan~" she singsonged as she hugged my arm tightly, much to my irritation. "Now, go confess to her before some guy snatches her away."

"I don't need you to tell me that..."

Of course I was the one who confessed. It wasn't at the dream location of a beach with a sunset, but in front of a row of houses while I was walking Amu home.

Incidentally, it was also the time of our first kiss and the day Amu officially became my girlfriend.

It really seemed like things were moving up from there.

Our relationship was fairly innocent; we spent most nights cuddling in front of the tv, watching crappy movies while stuffing ourselves with unhealthy foods. Or going out and just walking, ending up at cafes or arcades and just hanging out together.

We didn't go very far with our sexual relationship; holding hands and cuddling with the occasional kiss was as far as we went. Sure, I had to do my utmost best to hold myself back, but it was worth it. I wanted to cherish her and didn't want to scare her away.

It was during Amu's last year in high school that I finally snapped. It hadn't been a particularly special day, just another usual day off that had consisted of us cuddling and hanging out like normal. For some reason, Amu seemed even more beautiful than usual and I couldn't hold myself back anymore. I pushed her onto her back, both my legs on either of her sides.

And I started kissing her; beginning with a long, deep kiss on her mouth and travelling down from there, licking and biting any part of exposed skin I had access to.

"I-Ikuto... Wh-wha..." Amu was flushed and embarrassed, looking into my eyes and quickly gazing at something else. And damn did it turn me on.

"I've waited...for three...years," I muttered in between my kisses, "please, just this once... Trust me, 'kay?"

Amu's face relaxed considerably and she entangled her fingers in my hair. "I trust you," she whispered in my ear.

That was the night I took Amu's virginity.

From that day on, I was less hesitant to touch her, revealing how much of a pervert I actually was. And Amu didn't seem to mind, though usually she playfully smacked my hand away whenever it sneaked up her shirt.

There was one time where we were so caught up in our instincts, that we forgot any protection. It was one time. Just one. But it had been enough.

Several months after that day, Amu entered my apartment (I had moved out of my old one into a smaller and cheaper one when Utau moved in with her boyfriend Kukai, much to my dismay), looking tense and fidgety.

Before I even had time to question her about her strange behaviour, she looked me in the eye, slightly scared. She took a deep breath and...

"I'm pregnant," she declared.

For the first few moments I just stood there, unmoving, letting Amu's statement sink in. It seemed like a dream and I couldn't process it, I didn't even know how I felt about it, if I felt happy or sad or mad or confused.

Amu was pregnant, which meant that she was going to have a baby. Which meant I was going to be... a dad. And before I could fight it, a giant grin spread across my face.

I was going to be a dad. We were gonna have a kid. Never before had I even really considered starting a family, since I didn't have the slightest clue what a normal family with a mom and dad was like. Of course the thought had crossed my mind before. I mean, I was a healthy twenty-three-year-old man, around or maybe a bit before the age where you'd start thinking about something like that. But I hadn't really ever pressed on the matter, after all, I thought we still had all the time in the world and Amu was still young (and maybe not as committed to me as I was to her). But now, when it was going to become reality, even though we hadn't planned it...

I wanted it. I wanted it so bad. Especially when I fantasized about a future of bringing up a child with Amu, I realized how much I actually craved it.

So I was incredibly happy. Ecstatic. Over the moon. And so caught up in my own happiness, that I never noticed Amu looking at the ground, the walls, the ceiling, anywhere but at me. Never noticed that she didn't look nearly as excited and happy as I did. In hind sight, it should have been fairly obvious, but I was too lost in my own little world.

"You're...pregnant?" I repeated her words, an edge of disbelief to my voice. And at the sight of Amu's slow nod, I smiled again. A big, cheesy grin that stretched from ear to ear. "Really? Are you serious?! I-I'm going to be a dad?!" I grabbed her shoulders as I said this and stared into her eyes, excitement radiating from me.

I started mumbling incoherent words concerning baby-related things. I knew it was completely out of character, but I honestly didn't give a damn. I was just so happy. And apparently too happy to notice that not once had Amu agreed with anything I said.

"Amu-tan's pregnant?!" Yaya exclaimed in surprise, practically throwing everything from the cafeteria-table in her haste to stand up.

"She sure is," I smirked, trying to keep my cool demeanor, but that soon fell, leaving behind a sheepish grin.

"Oh my gosh, congrats! I'm so happy for you, Ikuto-tan! You're actually gonna be a daddy!" Yaya was practically jumping up and down by now, and Kairi was quietly scolding her. "Sit down, Yaya-san, you're making a scene." To which she obliged, albeit reluctantly. Then he turned to me, green eyes serious and I dreaded the oncoming storm.

"You're serious, aren't you?"

I nodded, slightly hesitant. "Hinamori-san... is only eighteen, isn't she?" The conversation had turned in the direction I had wanted to keep the most distance from. To be honest, that fairly obvious fact had only briefly crossed my mind, seeing as I was too consumed with my own happiness to think straight.

But, of course, Kairi was right (as always). Amu was only eighteen. She was still only in high school, she hadn't even graduated yet. And she was pregnant. She was going to be a mother. And I realised that it might all be coming way way too fast for her.

"I know. We never meant for it to happen. It was just carelessness. But..." Determined, I stared into Kairi's eyes, "I'll take responsibility. I'll take care of her, of them. Although we won't have that much money, I'll work hard so we'll be able to make a living. I swear I will. I'll...make this work. Somehow..."

To be honest, I expected another scolding or Kairi nagging and pointing out everything I was going to do wrong as I glanced at him from under my bangs. But instead he smiled. And then started laughing. And I was incredibly confused. "Really Ikuto-san, I never thought you'd become such a doting dad."

"Wha- Who said I was?!"

"No, no, it's so obvious, I can see it already." Kairi continued chuckling and this time Yaya joined in, probably imagining what I'd be like. "Why am I even friends with you guys..." I asked myself out loud, loud enough so they'd hear it. But instead of feeling offended like I hoped they would, they just grinned at me. And I really hated the smile that was threatening to form on my face.

Amu's stomach grew bigger as the months passed, as did my excitement. It had become sort of a routine for us to end the day sitting under the kotatsu with my ear on her stomach, listening to the new life that was being created there. Sometimes I wonder how I could've been so oblivious to the fact that Amu never seemed as happy as she used to be, never seemed as excited, always looked tired and like she wanted to tell me something, but couldn't bring herself to.

But I found out what it was soon enough.

I don't care how cliche it sounds but Miki's birth was one of the best moments of my life. Before childbirth kinda grossed me out, but that moment was just beautiful. She was so small (and loud, incredibly loud). I couldn't leave her alone, I kept cradling her in my arms and showing off to Amu.

"She's cute isn't she? She's so adorable. She's got your eyes, Amu! The exact same colour. And blue hair, from me I guess. I really hope she doesn't get my personality though, if you know what I mean."

"Yeah. She is. That's true. Let's hope so," Amu would always say, then smile and laugh weakly.

We were happy. I honestly believed we were happy, that all the hardships we were facing or were going to face didn't matter. We'd get through them somehow. And I thought Amu felt that way too.

But I was wrong.

Because a few weeks later it happened.

I woke up somewhere in the middle of the night. Just at random, like sometimes happens. I turned around, expecting to see Amu's cute sleeping face before I'd try to sleep again.

Only she wasn't there.

"Amu?" I whispered, trying not to wake Miki up who was lying right next to me. When I got no response I wondered if she had gone to the bathroom. So I strained my ears in an attempt to hear her, but the only thing I could hear were the ticking of the clock and Miki and my breathing.

"Amu?" I tried again, getting up this time and looking around. The bathroom was empty, as was the kitchen and automatically the living room/bedroom (they're one room).

Worry started to spread through my body. If she wasn't in any of those rooms she couldn't be in the apartment. A quick glance at the genkan told me she must've gone out since her shoes weren't anywhere to be seen.

Why would she go out at such a time?

I swallowed, suddenly feeling incredibly sick.

Because he couldn't have.

She wouldn't have.

There was no way.

With trembling hands I opened the drawers we kept our clothes in. The first drawer had Miki's clothes in them. The second one had mine. I hesitated before opening the last drawer. Took a deep breath and-

Empty.

No.

No.

The sick feeling returned, only much worse this time. My breathing started to speed up considerably. My head spinning and cold sweat forming on my forehead. Sick. So sick. I felt like throwing up.

From the corner of my eye I saw my wallet lying on the kotatsu.

I hadn't left it there.

When I opened it I found that most of my money had been taken, only leaving about 1000 Yen or so and my credit cards.

Frustrated, I threw the wallet into the corner of the room, whisper-yelling "FUCK!"

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck..."

My voice cracked and I felt tears threatening to spill out of my eyes. I didn't care how out of character it was, I couldn't help it. I was tired. So fucking tired of all this shit happening to me.

I just didn't understand. Why the everliving fuck would she leave?! What the hell had I done?! What had I done that was so horrible she felt the need to take my money and run?! Wasn't it going well?! Weren't we happy?! Didn't she want to experience Miki -her fucking daughter- growing up?!

"God damn it...!" I rested my head in my hands, silently crying into them while trying to be quiet enough to not wake Miki.

How was I even supposed to explain this to her? She would have to grow up without a mom. She didn't deserve that. And how on earth was I supposed to keep on pursuing becoming a violinist? I had to take care of her...

Millions of these thoughts floated threw my head and pretty soon it was throbbing in pain. Finally, somewhere along the way I had fallen asleep.

"Ikuto? Ikuto! Wake up, Ikuto!" Consistent yelling and shaking of my arm woke me up out of my slumber. "What...?" I mumbled, still desperate for more sleep since my head was killing me for some reason.

"Ikuto, wake up, god dammit! What happened? Ikutooo!" Reluctantly I opened my eyes, only to come face to face with Utau who looked incredibly worried.

"Utau...?" She sighed with relief at the sound of my (now a lot more conscious) voice, finally letting go of my arm. "Ikuto, please what happened? You and Amu wouldn't answer your phones or open the door when your neighbours came! So they called me and said Miki-chan had been crying for an hour! So of course I came straight away only to find you sprawled on the floor unconscious..." Utau swallowed and finally looked me in the eye, "Anyway, Kukai took Miki-chan to the park, so don't worry about her. Now, what happened?"

I had to blink a couple of times to register everything Utau had said. What had happened again...?

"Where's Amu?" She then asked concerned, looking around the apartment that was empty except for the two of us. And then everything came back to me.

Amu.

Amu was...

"Gone."

"You-you mean like...for a walk?" Utau did her best to avoid looking into my eyes and I understood she was trying her best to lighten the mood. Because I knew she knew fully well what I meant by 'gone'.

But I explained it to her regardless, cupping her face in my hands to make her look at me. "No...she left. Took her clothes, my money...and left." It surprised me how much effort I had to use to actually say it out loud.

"Oh my god, Ikuto..." Utau's expression turned to one I could only perceive as one of...pity. And I hated that. I never wanted anyone's pity. But when Utau covered my hands with her own I discovered they had been shaking like mad and I could kind of understand why she would.

"I am so so sorry. Oh my god I can't believe this. Ikuto... Ikuto!" She hugged me, so tight I could hardly breath. And I felt like crying all over again. But I wouldn't. Not in front of Utau. Not now. So we just stayed like that for a while and that in itself felt kind of nice, though in reality it didn't make me feel any better at all.

"Hey, Utau," after a while of silence I finally decided to speak up, though it probably sounded muffled as I spoke into Utau's shirt, "what did I do wrong?" I despised how weak and helpless I sounded. I didn't want to at all, it just happened on its own. And damn did it annoy me.

My sister let go of me and held me by the shoulders, staring directly into my eyes. "You did nothing wrong. Nothing, ya hear me? Obviously there was something wrong with Amu! She has absolutely no freaking clue what an awesome, great, handsome, charismatic guy she left behind!"

The seriousness in Utau's eyes made me let out a soft chuckle. "I never knew you thought of me like that." Some sort of sign of being offended was what I had been expecting to see on Utau's face. Not a face scrunched up in pain. "Utau-" and then I understood, as I felt something wet trickle down my cheek, lingering on my chin and dropping onto the floor. "Fuck," I whispered.

Utau moved in for another hug but I put up my hand as a sign for her not to move any closer. I really needed to get my shit together. I couldn't sit here crying about some, well, bitch, who up and leaves me. She didn't even deserve to be cried over.

Not.

One.

Bit.

Abruptly I stood up, shocking Utau in the process. "Forget that bitch!" I shouted, not sure if I was trying to encourage Utau or myself. "If she wants to leave, fine. I can take care of myself, I can take care of Miki. I'll raise her even better than Amu ever could have. And then I'll make her regret ever running away."

"Yeah, yeah you do that," the sad smile appeared on Utau's face again, making it seem like she didn't think I could do it. But I would, definitely. If anything, I wouldn't let this affect Miki. I'd make sure she was just as happy without a mom as she'd be with one. That's what I knew I should do. I knew I shouldn't let it bother me. I shouldn't be sad about some girl who'd just leave after making me think, I dunno, that she actually loved me... But I couldn't help it. Because even if she didn't love me... I did. I really did. I really really loved her. And I trusted her. And that said a whole lot cause I have some serious trust-issues.

I knew I was going to miss her.

That night, only Miki and I occupied the futon. The lack of another person's warmth bothered me so much I couldn't fall asleep.

Although I had clearly stated I'd raise Miki with no problem at all, I came across several (scratch that, a mountain of) problems. But, I also learnt large amount.

Just a few examples:

-Diapers were a gift sent by God.

-Just because they're small, doesn't mean baby's don't make any noise (on the contrary, they might be worse than dub-step).

-Do not sleep with earplugs in(neighbours do not appreciate that).

-MEN CANNOT BREAST-FEED.

-Children's TV is the single most brain-draining thing in existence.

-Kindergarten is a blessing.

-Middle-aged women have a thing for young single fathers.

-Stay away from middle-aged women with a thing for young single fathers.

And (as cliche as it might sound) friends were really the only thing that could get you through something like this. [Though constantly bashing the ex doesn't really count as support of any kind, but hey, I wasn't complaining, I joined in]

In five years, Miki grew up to be a wonderful little girl. Never complaining about anything, always doing as she was told (well, most of the time) and never questioning why there was a missing family member. Save for one time.

"Papa, why don't I have a mom?" Miki was lying under the futon staring at the flickering tv, voice sounding very passive, but the glimmer in her eyes told a different story. Yes, she was a lot like her father in that aspect.

I knew it was inevitable that she'd ask someday, but still, I hadn't quite prepared what I was going to say.

"Well, she's... gone..."

"Like... to heaven?"

"What? Oh god no." I crawled over to Miki and set her on my lap, burying my face in her hair. "She just... left. To go somewhere. Maybe in Japan, maybe... America or something, I don't know. But... she's happy, probably."

"So she wasn't happy with us?"

"Miki..." I squeezed her tighter. Although it had been five years since Amu had left, it was still a very touchy subject for me to talk about. Especially to Miki of all people.

"I really don't know," I mumbled.

Miki never brought up the subject after that.

As time went by, I got used to raising Miki on my own. It even became easy, something I got used to. Honestly, I had gotten over Amu almost completely, I wasn't expecting anything at all. If I ever met her again, I'd make her explain, apologise, tell her it was a big mistake to leave us, at least that was what I told myself. But in reality I never expected to ever see her again, let alone talk to her.

So on that sports day, I had just expected it to be any other day. Walking Miki to kindergarten, attempting to keep up the image of a cool dad during the sports day.

Not to meet Hinamori Amu once more.

But to be completely honest

I am so glad I did.

And that's a wrap! The last ever chapter of Come Back! since I don't want to keep anyone waiting another half year.

Again, thanks for reading till the end! All the support made me incredibly happy and motivated me to write even though my writing is really bad ^^'

Anyway, this was Come Back!

-G-chan