Julie is sleeping. I have spent the night reclined in the chair opposite her, fascinated by the tiny motions she made when she slept. When she first drifted off, I felt an unfamiliar pain in my chest. I wondered if it was some freak echo of the knife she'd thrown at me earlier. No, I couldn't feel pain any more - that was for the living. It was just my mind playing tricks on me.

Watching Julie sleeping was far more interesting anyway. I found myself copying her movements, turning her head slightly, drawing her knees up to her chest, resting her chin on her hand. By the time dawn broke and the interior of the plane was growing lighter, she was curled up against the window, and without realizing, I was leaning in the same direction, out over the armrest as I studied her and tried to make sense of what I was experiencing.

The truth is... in all respects, I ought to have only developed feelings for Julie after attacking and eating Perry. But really, they begun when I first saw her, crouched with the shotgun in her hands and her teeth clenched with fear and determination. I knew there was something there that I'd never seen in a human before. That was why I was so viciously angry when Perry broke the moment by shooting me. Of course it hadn't hurt. It wasn't only the hunger that caused me to target him - he had disrupted me before I could explore an emotion different to hunger, different to the typical apathy of the dead. I didn't know what it was then, but I did intend to find out. I wanted to understand. It was like I'd been thinking the other day on the travelator - I didn't want to be like this.

Would I have kept Julie safe like this without Perry's influence? I doubted I'd have been able to, no matter what it was exactly that I'd noticed about her beforehand. I hadn't fed in some weeks, and I needed the rush of human memory to deepen and define the connection I'd felt for her upon laying my eyes on her. I had needed Perry to bring Julie to me. He had wanted to die that day - wanted it as much as I'd wanted to live.

I hoped he would have understood. Could I, if our roles were reversed? Picturing myself as human was too much of a leap for me. So was picturing Perry as one of us Dead, because all the memories I had of him, contained inside my own head, were the rich vibrancy of human memories. They were very different to my Dead memories. But then, since Julie arrived, things seem... clearer. Sharper. I can remember better. Not anything that came before... but I have no problem now recalling the time she's spent in my home.