99 Pieces of a Soul

By The Naked King

"Learn to be Happy About It"

Every night, his Partner went to sleep listening to the radio. He said that the noise helped him drift off, but really, he thought that his Partner probably did it for his benefit, so he wasn't alone with his thoughts.

Back in the past, his thoughts had been problematic. His Partner had done the right thing, because if he had stayed within his own mind for far too long his thoughts would have turned tumultuous and dark. It was a bit of wisdom that allowed the other to see that, not magic, just intuition. Real magic as he had known it didn't really exist anymore, and he had no way of knowing if it would continue to exist in the future.

He shifted, though he was weightless and without form, watching his Partner through half lidded eyes. He was sleeping peacefully, something that he was grateful to see; after all, tomorrow was their flight.

Egypt …

He placed a hand over his chest, a sigh pushing its way from in between his lips. Looking out the window, up at the sky, he could see a familiar shape out the window. The part of him with modern knowledge called it Orion, tsuzumi boshi, the Hunter or the Great Drum, but … His eyes strayed downward, tracing the shape until they found its companion, which one he had thought of as "Sirius", but now …

Sopdet.

He felt an acute pain in his heart, but couldn't tear his eyes away. It was almost as if he stood again, with his father, looking out at the flooded fields, hearing Mana laugh in the distance, the priests proclaiming that surely this year would be prosperous.

"Prince Atem", they would chorus. "Observe the greatness of your father and hope that one day you may be so favored."

At last he tore his gaze away, forcing himself to concentrate once more on this modern world, on what was solid and real, present and touchable. Looking around, he tried to remember all the days he'd spent here, staying up late with Partner, working on their deck. He remembered the conversations they'd had, as his Partner had spilled to him every dream and desire that he'd kept locked within his heart.

It was funny, but it hadn't seemed that important then, even though he had cared.

But now …

Now every word seemed precious.

To be honest, there wasn't much doubt as to what awaited him in Egypt. He was a King, an exiled King, a King who had fought so many battles that his hands had become worn and his soul weary. And, as in every great story, every great narrative that had never existed, an exiled King only returned home to die.

The idea hurt him, and to be honest he was not really sure anyone else realized it, though he himself had known since the moment Marik Ishtar had called the Mutou household about flying them all to Egypt. It would be fun to go see the Pyramids! The great temples! To see where The Other Yuugi was born!

For them, he supposed, it would be special, though he couldn't help but be a bit saddened. He had seen the pictures, though at the time it had been in a vain effort to attempt to draw some sort of memory from the depths of his own mind. Ruins and dust, his kingdom had crumbled to, not because of demons or darkness, but because of the arrogance of humanity and the eternal enemy of all men, that beast called "time".

Right now, all he could think about was breakfasts on Mondays in the Mutou household, Mrs. Mutou bustling about, when Mr. Mutou was home, she would kiss him on the cheek as she put food on the table. And Grandpa … always doing his best to cause problems for everyone, in his own way, joking with Partner as he watched on, from within the Puzzle, always happy, always at home …

It was comforting to know that after he was gone, life would continue in its quaint way, that the world he had fought so hard and long to save would continue to spin on its axis (held up by the mountains of the heavens, whose red faces were seen as Ra sunk below the horizon, swallowed by Nut, who would give birth to him again the next day …).

It was funny how just a bit of knowledge had changed him, how different he felt since his memories had returned. It wasn't as if it erased his experiences, the love he had for his friends, but his old identity had returned his old bonds, as well. His cultural identity, some of the reasons for actions he had made in the past, things he had no idea why he was doing, he suddenly understood.

Atem.

Atem.

A child of the sun, what a powerful king he will be, what a mighty bull.

Yes, he was Pharaoh, and he could no more divorce that part of himself than he could divorce himself from the title of King of Games. The young man, duty driven, angry and prideful, who had sacrificed himself to save his kingdom, to save the world and the duelist, the powerful and witty strategist, filled with pride and determination … Both were Atem.

Both were tired.

He felt guilty, because he was happy, happy here with his Partner, happy to listen to him prattle about school and life in general. He would love to stay and duel with his Partner, to continue to challenge Kaiba, to spar with Jounouchi, to spend time laughing with Honda, Anzu, Otogi, Bakura … To cheer on his friends as they grew and changed.

But …

But he missed home.

Part of him wanted to die, to see those people who he had left behind when he had died. He wanted to see Mana's smile, to clasp Mahado's and Set's hands and laugh with them about shared jokes, to see his father and mother again, stand in their presence, bask in their love …

If he did not have a choice he did not think he should be sad to die, yet if he had a choice he would surely fight to stay

I can't value one part of me over the other .

"Other me?"

His eyes were drawn automatically back to the bed, where his Partner sat, knees drawn to his chest. He was staring at him with a remorseful expression, though he did not meet Atem's eyes.

"What is it, Partner?" he asked, crossing his arms over his chest, his face becoming gentle.

His Partner hesitated for a long moment before speaking again. "I … You looked sad."

Oh.

Another sigh escaped him, a heavy breath that filled the air between them with answers. His Partner knew, knew that he knew, but he would say it anyway, because it needed to be said. "I am. This might be my last night here, so I was just thinking … I would like to cherish it just a bit longer."

There was shock in his Partner's face. Perhaps he had expected him to evade answering? There had been a time when he would have. But now … He was Atem now, and he was different, different and the same all at once.

"Do you … really think that?" His Partner asked tentatively after a long moment; and in that second Atem realized that the young man had already known, probably from the moment they had returned home from their adventures in the Memory World.

"I probably don't belong here," he admitted. "I'm … A ghost."

His Partner didn't say anything, just stared at him for a long time. Atem didn't look away, though secretly he wanted to. He didn't like to hurt his Partner like this, he had promised he wouldn't hurt him again … It was his own solemn promise to himself.

But of course his death would hurt his Partner.

Really, he should be honored someone would grieve him.

It was almost funny, last time he had died …

None of this had mattered; he had just wanted to die … But now …

Now that he really understood what death meant, he really had something to live for.

But he was already dead, wasn't he?

"Listen, Partner …" he began, but the other just shook his head.

"No, let's not talk about it, let's just …" he stood up and walked across the room, pulling out a large box that Atem knew stowed their Duel Monsters cards away. "Let's just … be happy, for a bit longer, okay, Other Me?"

Atem smiled, and walked forward, ready to indulge in a night of reminiscence, knowing that this would be the last night he would ever see the inside of his Partner's bedroom, and that tomorrow would be the last breakfast he would ever share in the kitchen with the Mutou family …

But, because he had learned so much, Atem finally realized that each moment was a precious memory to be cherished, and that death, though painful, was not an end, but a new beginning.

No matter what the future brought, Atem could learn to be happy about it.