A/N: This is a response to a prompt by thecathedral22, so thank her for the inspiration ;)
Disclaimer: Still own nothing
Warnings: Language

Chapter One - Shopping Trip

Face sighed as he heard the almost inhuman squeal coming from the toy department three aisles over. He knew this was going to happen the moment Hannibal had issued the fateful order.

"Face, I want you to go pick up some supplies from Wal-Mart," the colonel had said after taking a long pull on his cigar. The man had almost looked apologetic, and Face couldn't understand why until the older man tacked on, "and take Murdock with you," at the end.

"Aww Hannibal… why?" Okay, so he was whining. But no one who hadn't ever tried corralling the excitable pilot in a huge store with thousands of brands at discount prices was in a position to judge him. And those who'd had the joy of running after Murdock as he "test drove" a tricycle through the frozen foods section wouldn't criticize him anyway.

Shedding a few tears at the prospect of a shopping trip with Murdock would also fall into the category of an acceptable response to the situation.

"Because if he stays here, B.A.'s going to kill him." Hannibal looked toward the garage where they could both hear the crazy pilot reenacting scenes from the Battle of the Little Bighorn.

Face had scoffed. "Aw come on, boss! I know Murdock's more irritating when he's trapped inside for too long, but this is Bosco we're talking about. He makes threats every time, but you and I both know he'll never follow through."

The conman determined the gods must have a sadistic sense of humor because at that moment Murdock's animated voice cut off in the middle of an impressive-sounding war cry, followed by growls and crashes. It was the sudden silence that prompted the two into the garage where they were met with an interesting sight.

B.A. had attacked the pilot with duct tape.

He looked like a struggling gray caterpillar as he wiggled across the floor. Murdock, whose mouth was taped shut, looked beseechingly at the two newcomers, who were simply staring in shock at the scene. His expression turned into a heated glare, however, when Temp simply turned to the colonel and said, "He'll be fine like this until I get back, right?"

Brought from his memories with a smaller, yet no less worry-inducing, shriek Templeton sighed before flinging the pack of assorted zip ties into the cart. He decided to finish picking up the rest of the items before herding James out the door. Face headed off to look for the duct tape.

He may need it later.

Templeton had finished paying for the supplies and was loading them into the back of the SUV before deciding to bite the bullet and locate his best friend. Hannibal would be pissed as hell if word ever got back to him that he'd left Murdock to his own devices, but fuck him. Next time he could babysit the grown man whose idea of a good trip to the store involved an epic light-saber battle with every kid in a three mile radius.

Sure enough, Murdock was still in the toy aisle. At least he hadn't seemed to draft any children into causing chaos with him. No overturned display cases greeted his eyes, and there didn't seem to be any toys out of their packaging.

Since entering the store with the crazy pilot, Templeton was actually starting to feel the first stirrings of relief. H.M. looked to be in a trance as he stared at a section totally devoted to toy aircraft. Grabbing the oblivious man, Templeton started to tug him away from the shelves. "Okay buddy, time to go."

No response.

Face was beginning to think the other man was going through one of his occasional bouts of catatonia until he snapped his fingers in front of Murdock's face. Finally blinking, the pilot reached out and grabbed his friend's shirt. "Oh sweet peaches, Facey… are you seeing this?! They've got a Sikorsky UH-60!"

Temp stared uncomprehendingly, causing H.M. to fidget. "A Black Hawk…."

Face nodded in a placating manner. "Um… that's great, bud, but it's time to go."

The pilot's response was to stare at him as if he'd just announced that he was gay and was having a mad, passionate affair with B.A. "A Black Hawk, Face!"

The conman sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. This conversation was gearing up to last hours. "Yeah, Murdock… that's swell, but we need to go. Hannibal's expecting us back soon."

"Ooh, look!" Bouncing up and down like a toddler on a sugar high thirty minutes before bedtime, Murdock pointed at a toy three rows up. "There's a Chinook!"

"Alright, that's it." Face grabbed Murdock's wrist and bent down, pulling the shorter man into a modified fireman's carry. He ignored the indignant yelp from his best friend and hauled him out the door and to their vehicle like a sack of potatoes.

Hannibal needed an ass-kicking over this.

TBC...

For those who don't already know, I'm leaving for about a month on a trip to Louisiana today. I know I said I wouldn't leave any stories hanging while I was gone, but am posting this because it's going to basically be six one-shots. Thanks in advance to anyone who reads and reviews! And thanks again to my friend/long lost twin sister thecathedral22 for sending me this prompt.