"… off me!"
Both Sam and Dean startled at the cry filling the room when Balthazar finally returned with the Devi in tow. She was struggling to get out of his grasp, but he was stronger than she was, and she looked absolutely furious. Her eyes flashed over to the Winchesters, and then to Cas who stood pensively to the side, watching with his arms crossed, guard way up.
Cas, much like the Winchesters, didn't trust demi-gods of any sort, and this plan was set up for fantastical failure at the very best. "Raising you two from the dead isn't as easy anymore, I hope you realize," Cas muttered as Balthazar led Lakshmi to the bed.
Dean ignored him, staring at the Devi with a frown. "You sure we haven't met this bitch before?" he asked his brother.
Sam shrugged. "I thought she was Kali, but honestly I couldn't tell."
Dean ran his fingers down around his mouth to his chin, frowning at her. She, in turn, glared at the elder brother but said nothing. "Okay so she's here."
"So now what?" Sam asked.
"Now you'd better explain before I paint the walls of this room with your entrails," Lakshmi snapped. "You had one job, Sam Winchester, and dragging me here was not part of it!"
Sam sighed and nodded. "I know, and I'm sorry. I swear though, you're not going to get hurt."
"Don't listen to him, darling," Balthazar said quietly, "he's a Winchester. You do know what that means."
"Yes, I do," she said darkly.
"Your sister is working with Crowley," Dean said, cutting in before Sam could answer. "We need more than just a stake and two irritated Angels on our side. Sam mentioned you not wanting to hurt your sister, which means you can."
"You just don't want to," Sam finished for his brother, seeing exactly where Dean was going. "If you want us to stop her, you're going to have to help us."
"I can't," Lakshmi replied with a shrug. "I would if I could, trust me, but I can't. She's… protected."
"So you can't but we can?" Dean asked, skeptical and getting pretty pissed off. "How the hell does that work?"
"I don't expect you to understand," Lakshmi replied. She stood and Balthazar was immediately at her side. She glanced over and rolled her eyes. "I'm not going anywhere so back off."
He grinned but made no move to step away from her.
"You Winchesters, despite drowning in the supernatural, in higher powers, defying the natural order of things, still have no respect for it. Because of that, you don't understand how our magic works. I cannot harm my sister."
Sam gave a nod and stepped in front of his brother. "Fend of Crowley. You can do that, right? Fend off a demon? We'll handle her."
"If I say no?" she questioned.
"Then I will, as you so sweetly described earlier, paint the walls of this room with your entrails. Darling," Balthazar said with a grin. Sam looked at the Angel who winked.
Dean, who'd had quite enough and was ready to get on with this whole mess, grabbed the little vial of the Devi's blood and tossed it to Lakshmi. "True or false. That your sister's blood?"
Lakshmi took one look at it and laughed. "Who gave you this?"
"Okay so it's obviously a trap, and more than likely Crowley knows we brought in back-up. I don't think he wants this Devi… what's her name again?"
"Parvati," Sam replied absently.
"Yeah her, I don't think Crowley wants her to survive. She's obviously hoarding souls, but I'm sure he's going to try and use this to try and take one of us out. Especially since Cas just reminded us, it's not as easy to bring us back."
"And why do you want her dead so badly?" Balthazar asked Lakshmi with a frown. "What do you get out of it?"
"She's an abomination. Ridding the world of her is all I'm after," the Devi spat.
At the word abomination Sam flinched and Dean's hand twitched, like he was going for his gun. Thing was, the word was still pretty damn sensitive for the Winchesters. Sam wouldn't ever really stop being an abomination, and well fuck this Devi creature for implying that was a good enough reason to kill.
But she seemed pretty evil. Hoarding souls wasn't okay, on any level, for any creature. It was too much damn power and Sam was ready to just end this. "Can we get on with it?" Sam finally asked. His head was starting to hurt again from trying to process all of the faces and the images, and all the movement in the room. He closed his eyes and let his ears take over for a while.
Dean started to get everything ready for the fake ritual. Balthazar took Lakshmi into the bathroom, despite her crowing laughter that her sister would be able to sense her anyway. Balthazar seemed pretty sure he could cloak the Devi, at least for a while. Long enough for Sam and Dean to take care of this demi-goddess.
Cas stood in the corner. He seemed unusually petulant about this entire thing, and while Dean finished lighting the final candle, Sam moved over to Castiel's side and frowned at him. "Problem?"
Cas gave a sigh and looked across the room at his lover. "I feel like this is too easy. Crowley is obviously after the souls, but I have a feeling it's more than that. I'm uncomfortable with this entire scenario. Demi-gods have killed plenty of Angels in their time, so assuming we're safe just because of what we are would be foolish."
Sam gave a slow nod. "So… you have a better plan?"
"Unfortunately no, which is why I'm allowing you two to continue this suicide mission. Balthazar and I have a few other, loyal angels on alert in case something goes wrong and they need to find you in Heaven."
"Jesus," Sam said, dragging his hand down his face.
"No, not him," Cas said with a frown. "No one's seen him in a thousand years."
Sam rolled his eyes but didn't bother to correct the angel as he walked up to see if he could help his brother. Dean was standing over the little pot, stake at the ready, a Devil's trap painted on the floor where she'd be summoned, and a squirt gun with holy water. It was all they could do, and they could only hope her demon powers were taking hold over her Devi powers.
"What's Captain Constipated over there bitching about?" Dean growled as he uncorked the vial of fake Devi blood.
Sam gave a shrug. "He thinks this is a trap."
"It's obviously a trap. That's what we've been talking about for the last goddamn hour," Dean snapped.
"He thinks there's more to what Crowley wants," Sam replied. "He's got angels on alert upstairs in case we die."
"We're not going to die," Dean said, but Sam could hear the doubt in his voice. "If worse comes to worse, we hold the bitch down, exorcise the demon part of her, and then stab her through the heart with a stake."
"Sounds simple," Sam said with a shrug.
"Doesn't it always?" Dean flashed him a slightly sarcastic grin, a grin Sam had never seen before in his life, but knew right then that it was the grin Dean always gave him when he sounded like that, and he appreciated it. He had the urge to reach out and touch it, to feel the smile, to see if it felt the same. But he didn't. There wasn't time for that.
Sam looked over at Cas and nodded. They were ready. It was now or never. Dean began the ritual. He poured the Devi blood over the fire he'd lit and began the chant. It was something Sam had never heard before, something possibly Indian, Punjabi maybe? Sam couldn't be sure. All he knew was it was full of crap, and yet the room began to shake. The windows rattled, and somewhere off in the back he heard something topple over and crash on the floor.
He felt more blind than ever, not sure what to expect, not trusting his eyes to tell his brain what was going on. This was it, a hunt, the climactic event and he was seeing it for the first time. There was a shift in the air, something he'd felt before, and then she was suddenly there. In the middle of the Demon trap, smiling at them with her head cocked to the side.
Dean sprayed her with holy water. She began to steam, but her smile didn't fade. "Sam," she said, sounding nearly identical to Lakshmi. "How are you enjoying your gift?" Sam watched her fingers rise to a necklace she wore. It was covered in tiny gold rings. Sam had no idea how to gauge the amount on there, his eyes weren't that good yet.
"I never asked for this," Sam said.
"Is that why you're here? You asking me to reverse it?" Her eyes were huge, and Sam was having a hard time making sense of her form.
"We want Bobby's soul back, you bitch," Dean growled.
She looked down at the ground, at the Devil's trap and then laughed. "It doesn't work that way, silly boy. Bobby's sacrifice was his own, you realize. He was doing this for you, Sam."
Sam felt a painful twist in his gut and he shook his head. The idea that Bobby bargained his soul for this? It didn't make sense. Didn't Bobby realize Sam had been fine? Happy? Whole? "Reverse it," Sam finally said.
She smiled even wider, her teeth looking bright white and menacing. Sam could envision them biting into flesh, devouring it. He felt sick as she said, "No."
"Please," Sam said.
"Or we kill you," Dean added. He was clearly in no mood to be polite.
She took another step forward. "You don't have that kind of power." She walked forward again, and then realized she was stuck. She stared down at the Devil's trap and growled. "What is this?"
"Demon powers has its price sweetheart," Dean said with a smirk. "You didn't think it was going to be without consequence, did you?"
"Let me go!" she screamed.
"Exercise her," came the voice from the bathroom, and Lakshmi walked out with Balthazar at her heels. He looked slightly unnerved, but didn't argue with the command. "Exercise the demon powers and then stake her."
"Will it actually work?" Dean asked, looking between both angels.
"It will, and I'll thank you to get along with it, boys," came the drawl from Crowley who popped in, grinning like a Cheshire cat.
"How the hell did he get in here?" Dean snapped.
"I have my ways. Now, your part of the deal, boy. Just like we discussed."
Parvati glanced over at Crowley, her eyes wide and all black now. "You betrayed me!"
"Oh don't feel so bad, love. If it makes you feel any better, I do it to nearly everyone who crosses my path. Just ask the boys here." Crowley winked at Dean and Sam and then took a step back. "Any time now. Being king of hell, I do have places to go, people to torture."
Feeling sick that they were working with Crowley at all on this, Sam nudged Dean who then grabbed his book to recite. "Exorcizamus te, omnis immundus spiritus," was as far as he got when suddenly Parvati grabbed one of the rings on her necklace, ripped it off and threw it at Dean. It hit him in the neck, and the exorcism book toppled from his hands. He flew backwards, his hands clutching his face and he was screaming.
Sam looked wide-eyed at the Devi who was laughing loudly. "Release me, and I'll heal him."
Sam then looked over at Dean who was crouched low, his eyes wide and staring. "Sammy!" Dean cried. "Sammy where are you?!"
"Dean I'm right…" Sam began, but it hit him, what she'd done. She'd given back the blindness, to Dean. She'd reversed it into his brother.
Sam ran to Dean's side and grabbed a hold of the elder Winchester. Pulling Dean to his feet, he could feel Dean shaking violently beneath his hands. "Sammy, I can't… I can't see. Sam?"
"Yeah okay, it's okay… I've got you," Sam said. He was panicking now. Cas was rushing across the room, Crowley was looking bored, and Balthazar was now holding onto Lakshmi who was shouting for Sam to finish it.
"Reverse it," Sam said, shouting at the Devi. "Fix him!"
"Not until you release me," she said, her black eyes narrow. "Now."
"Sam, no," Dean said as Cas replaced Sam's hold on the now-blind Winchester. "Kill her and be done with it."
"Killing me won't heal him, and you know it," she replied.
Sam walked right up to the edge of the Devil's trap and stared her down. "Release Bobby's soul, fix my brother, and we'll let you go. We won't come after you, we won't ever see you again. Do it, and do it now… or I kill you."
She smirked. "No. I'll heal your brother once you free me, but the human's soul is mine. He made the deal with me, and you are in no position to bargain for it. It's better off with me, you realize, than it is with that monster," she nodded to Crowley. "The choice is yours, Sam."
Sam frantically looked over at Dean who was blinking rapidly, trying to make the darkness go away. Lakshmi was staring, looking absolutely petrified. Balthazar was staring back at Sam with a stoic, grim expression, and again, Crowley simply looked bored.
"Kill her, she's lying," Lakshmi said. "Kill her and I can heal your brother."
That was really all Sam needed to hear. That she could heal Dean if Sam took this bitch out, and that's what he did. He grabbed the stake, his fingers finding it, and he closed his eyes as he leapt over the Devil's trap and plunged it into her heart. Her necklace clattered to the ground, the little gold hoops flying everywhere. Black smoke poured from her mouth as the demon powers were released, and then she died.
It was in that moment, of course, that Crowley made his move. He swooped up the rings, waved at the boys and were gone, taking Bobby's soul with him. Sam couldn't think straight, though, because now the Devi was dead, Dean was still blind, and when Sam turned, Lakshmi had gone.
"You let her get away!" Sam shouted at Balthazar. "Where the hell did she go."
"I didn't let her do anything," the angel retorted angrily. "She fed you a lie, you ate it up like the foolish human you always are, and she took her sister's powers and left."
"Took her sister's powers?" Sam stood up from his crouch over the dead Devi and moved his hair out of his eyes. "What do you mean?"
"Well considering you wouldn't recognize… well anything standing in front of you… our darling Lakshmi was not, in fact, a Devi at all. My guess is that her powers were stolen by one of the lesser gods and she needed you boys to get them back."
"What the hell was she, then?" Dean growled, his hands clamped over his eyes. He was leaning on Cas who looked exhausted.
"That, my darling boys, was Kali."
There wasn't much the angels could do for Dean, and considering Sam couldn't drive, they were forced to sit in the room while the angels went on a hunt for the goddess. They'd removed Parvati's body, but the room still smelled like death, and there was so much crap everywhere that Dean couldn't move from the bed to the bathroom without falling on his face.
Sam was still relatively little help, seeing as his brain wasn't processing depth perception completely, and eventually Dean broke into laughter as Sam tried to get a bottle of beer from Dean's bag and failed three times.
"This is ridiculous. They've fucking blinded us, Sam. If anyone wanted us incapacitated, well they've goddamn done it. Look at us, man!"
Sam sat on the edge of Dean's bed and touched his wrist gently. "It's… we're going to fix this, okay? I swear."
"How?" Dean asked, and took a swig of the beer that Sam finally managed to bring over. "I mean seriously, Sammy. How the hell are you going to fix this? Kali might be a goddess, but there's a good chance she's as impotent as the angels are when it comes to this natural blindness stuff."
"I shouldn't have…" Sam said, and his voice got tight. He'd done this to Dean. He'd made a decision, a snap decision, panicked because his brother was down for the count, and it had been the wrong one. They'd lost Bobby in the process, and potentially their only shot at curing Dean. "I'm sorry."
"I would have done the same thing," Dean said after a moment of long silence. It was unnerving for Sam to watch Dean stare into the emptiness. Before, it wouldn't have mattered, because he hadn't known what staring even looked like. He wondered if that's how it was for Dean, for their entire lives. Until now. "I'm pissed and this sucks, but… I would have done the same damn thing."
Sam wanted to argue, but it was probably true. Dean had done some really stupid stuff when Sam was in danger, or dead for that matter, so he couldn't let himself feel too guilty. But this… this was bad. This wasn't something Dean could just walk off.
Silence fell between the brothers. Sam laid along the end of the bed, near Dean's feet, and they just sort of… sat. Hours ticked by without a whisper from the angels. Sam thought Balthazar had probably looked in someone's closet somewhere and then gave up, flying pack to his luxury penthouse. It would be just like the angel to do that. He didn't owe the brothers anything.
Somewhere around dawn, Dean shifted on the bed and muttered, "I can't believe you did this your entire life. Stumbled through the dark like this. Remind me to never give you shit again."
Sam gave a small smile and reached out to pat Dean on the hand. They'd figure a way out of it, he knew they would.
qp
"We've found her, and she's agreed to negotiate," Cas said later that afternoon. The brothers hadn't slept much, and getting food had been the most ridiculous chore of all. Dean used Sam's white cane and they did their best to navigate their way to the nearest café.
Dean spent most of the time tripping and cursing, and Sam spent most of the time trying to look like he could see—which he could, but people didn't quite get how he couldn't read or even judge the distance from his hand to the counter—but they'd done it. They'd done it together. Still, it was clear they could not function like this.
"Negotiate my ass!" Dean said. He was standing near the small hotel table, his hand on the top of the wood to keep himself oriented. "That bitch owes us. We've saved her ass twice!"
"I suppose negotiate is the incorrect word," Cas said. His hand twitched toward Dean reflexively, but Dean wasn't receptive to being touched right now, and Cas knew it. "She says she can't reverse the effects, but she can transfer them."
"What?" the brothers asked simultaneously.
"She can transfer them," Cas repeated slower. "She can remove the blindness and reinflict the original host."
"Meaning that I see again and Sammy goes blind?" Dean said, and then shook his head. "Hell no. Tell her to figure out a way to end it."
"She can't Dean, and that's a fact," Cas said impatiently. "It makes the most sense for Sam…"
"To what? To get to see for a couple of weeks and then take it away again? Well fuck that. I'll stay blind, thank you."
At this point, Sam rose and walked up to Dean. "Don't be an idiot, please. I feel like Cas is the only one making any sense here. We can't function like this and you know it."
Dean's jaw clenched and he shook his head. "You… you're getting used to things, Sam. You're starting to see things. You said you liked it."
"Yeah but how the hell am I going to learn how to function as a sighted person when the one person I need to teach me these things is now blind? And Dean, you're not going to just get used to it. I didn't just learn to hunt in a day, okay? I spent my entire life like that. You… this… we can't. Okay. We need to accept Kali's offer."
"No," Dean said, crossing his arms.
Sam pursed his lips, giving what Dean called his bitchface, and then grabbed Dean by the shoulders. Dean tried to fight him, but Sam was stronger, and since Dean couldn't see him, it was easy to keep a hold of him. He marched Dean to the middle of the room and began to spin him.
"If you can find your way back to the table in one minute, I'll agree to give this a try," Sam said. "One minute." He stopped spinning Dean, leaving him to face the bathroom.
"Fine. One minute, no problem," Dean said with a smirk.
But it was a problem, obviously, and it was almost too painful to watch. Twice Sam had to grab Cas to stop the angel from helping his lover. Dean stumbled, he walked tentatively, his hands out. He cursed and stubbed his toe on the bed, and four minutes later, he still hadn't found the table.
Sam sighed and rubbed his hand over his face. "Okay?" he asked.
"Fuck you," Dean spat. He was able to find the bed, and flopped down face-first.
"Take me to her," Sam said.
Cas touched him, and they were suddenly in an office. It was similar to the room Sam had met Lakshmi in the first time, but not the same. The smell was different, and the sound. Cas wasn't with him, but he figured the angel was close by as Kali walked into the room with a smile.
"Why didn't you just tell me why you wanted her dead?" Sam asked.
She gave a small shrug. "Would you have helped me?"
Sam thought about it, and the truth was, he didn't know. Probably not. They might have tried to save Bobby's soul, but not at the cost of this. Of Dean's sight, and this choice.
"You've agreed to my terms?" she asked.
"There's no way you can just remove the blindness?" Sam asked, because a tiny piece of him would miss this world of shapes and colors and amazing things. Would miss the sight of Balthazar's face, even if he hated that bastard so much. Most of all he'd miss that Dean smirk, because he'd been told over the years how funny it was, and kind of cute, and so Dean… and everyone who'd ever told him that had been right.
"I'm sorry Sam. I do realize what you've done for me in the past, but I don't have that kind of power."
"Fine." Sam was disappointed, but he could live with it. He would live with it.
"There's one other thing, however," Kali said, and Sam stared at her. "A little birdie gave me a request, and with his powers combined with mine, I think we'll be able to accomplish it."
"What request?" Sam said, tired of requests being made on his behalf without his consent.
"I think it's supposed to be a surprise." With that Kali reached over and touched Sam's forehead.
He thought there'd be more to it. A tremble in the earth, maybe a rush of power. Instead it was just sort of like blinking, only when he opened his eyes, he saw the same thing he'd been seeing for the last thirty some-odd years. Just that sort of vague blob, the difference between light and dark.
It took him a moment to orient to it, but it was done. It was done, and he knew Dean could see now, and he was probably with Cas, appreciating every nuance of Castiel's expressions, and maybe kissing him. Probably kissing him.
Sam had to smile at that thought. He heard Kali shift and then he could tell the room was empty. He sighed and closed his eyes and tried really hard not to be disappointed. He was okay like this. He'd been whole before, and he was whole now. He'd gotten to experience things that very few people blind from birth ever got to. And it was okay. It was.
A hand closed on his arm and suddenly they were… somewhere else. He thought for a moment maybe it was Cas taking him back to the hotel, but when his feet hit the ground, he knew they were somewhere else. And that it wasn't Cas.
"Balthazar?" Sam asked into the wide unfamiliar space.
"I'm afraid so. Cassie is a bit… busy at the moment." The smirking voice came from behind him, and Sam had to smile.
He turned, and then gasped, almost falling over. In the blur that was his life, suddenly Balthazar was standing there. Somehow, he was there, and Sam could see him. His hand reached out to confirm it, and his fingers came into contact with warm flesh, and a smile, and then Balthazar laughed.
"How?" Sam asked.
Balthazar gave a shrug and brought his own, cold hands up to Sam's face. "I couldn't give you much. It's not even real sight, you know. It's just my gorgeous image burned into your brain. But you'll always be able to see me."
"So instead of taking the image of the ocean, or forest or trees that I'd seen, you chose to use this power to give me the ability to see you?" Sam asked. He was both horrified and confused, and a little bit happy about it. But really… how… typical.
Balthazar laughed again, and then suddenly his lips were on Sam's, kissing him hard and furious and deep. Sam's hands found the front of Balthazar's shirt and he let his eyes open up just so he could see the Angel's face right in front of him and god… how he never really stopped loving him.
"What about… the whole…" Sam gasped as Balthazar's fingers found that spot, right there, and Sam gave a groan. "God… human thing. You… you said…"
"Shut up, you stupid monkey, I'm trying to fuck you," Balthazar growled, and then he did just that. It was furious and hard, and not gentle at all, but it was glorious and made up for every shitty thing Sam had been through over the past few weeks.
And then it was over, but Balthazar was still there, and Sam could feel cool air so he knew they were outside somewhere. Anywhere, really, because it didn't matter right then. There was something different about this, too, something different about the way Balthazar held him.
The Angel would never love humans, but Sam wasn't just a human, and Sam had to wonder if maybe the dumbass angel had finally figured that out. He guessed, by the gift he'd been given, and the way Balthazar was pressing small kissed to the back of his neck and just holding him like he never wanted to let him go… he had figured that out.
Epilogue
A year had gone by. A painful, aching year, and the boys had been through so much. Too much, and it hurt, and there were moments where both Sam and Dean wanted to die. But… it was different. Despite everything, Dean was a little easier on Sam. He just sort of… knew now, what it was like. And Sam tried harder. And he loved more, and he remembered what it was like to see colors, even if he hadn't learned the names of all of them. He remembered Dean's face, and that smirk, and… and everything.
He still had Balthazar, too, when he was around. And it wasn't always, and not nearly as often as Sam wanted. Sam and Balthazar didn't have what Dean and Castiel did, but it was okay. For now. For now, because Balthazar had given Sam that gift, and every time Sam started to forget what it was like to see, he'd be there. Holding him, kissing him, making him scream, and making him see. And that, in itself, was enough.