Chapter Twenty-Two: When The Sour Turns Sweet

After all the groceries were put away, Dean returned his attention back to his sibling.

Moving to his brother's side, the older sibling reached out and laid a hand on Sam's shoulder.

The younger man lifted his head ever so slightly, though he still didn't look at Dean, it was clear that he was focused on his brother.

"Want to go back outside, Sammy?" Dean asked; it was such a nice day that he didn't really want to hang around inside, and besides, he wanted his brother to get as much fresh air and sunshine as possible, hoping that it would help him continue feeling more and more comfortable.

Sam lifted one shoulder in a noncommittal gesture.

"Well, I want to go out," Dean said, "And I'd like you to come with me."

He didn't really want to force Sam to do something he didn't want to but it seemed as though his brother had shut down again. Removing his hand from Sam's shoulder, Dean took his wrist and pulled, urging him to stand.

Sam got up from the chair with no resistance, hand limp in Dean's hold and followed his brother towards the door. Dean held back a sigh, disappointed that Sam seemed to have slipped back into his catatonic state again but told himself that it would pass.

The older Winchester nodded to Bobby as they passed by, the grizzled hunter scribbling on a notepad as he sat at his desk, and opened the front door.

It was a beautiful May morning; the sky was a deep, cloudless blue, the sun a warm, yellow ball, the breeze balmy.

Dean stopped at the bottom step of the porch and sat down, Sam following suit, hands dangling between his knees.

The older sibling leaned back; face turned towards the sky and closed his eyes. It was rare that the brothers ever got a chance just to relax and enjoy… anything. And despite the difficulty of the past few days, Dean was grateful to be given this reprieve.

"Remember when we were little, Sammy?" Dean began quietly, "And Dad would drop us off here… You were always so excited to stay with 'Uncle' Bobby you never wanted to leave…"

The older brother paused for a long moment. He knew Sam was still beside him, could feel his brother's leg pressed against his own.

"Remember that one summer when it was so hot, ninety degrees or something, and Bobby set the sprinkler up in the backyard? We didn't even have any swimming trunks but that didn't matter, we just ran through it in our t-shirts and shorts."

Dean smiled, recalling the sight of his little brother, barely out of his toddler years, shirt and shorts plastered to his chubby arms and legs, running back and forth across the cool water shooting out from the sprinkler, giggling joyfully.

Dean's heart ached at the thought of that little boy, so happy and carefree, whose only concern was what their 'uncle' was going to make them for lunch when they went inside. That child was long gone. Sam, who had always somehow managed to retain a piece of childlike innocence- despite what they did almost everyday of their lives- had had that endearing and enduring quality dashed to pieces by Lilith and her cronies during the past year. Dean didn't even know if that kind Sam still existed, or if it was gone forever, the sense of awe and wonder about the world, that innocence, shattered beyond repair. Dean knew that even if his brother appeared to be getting better, moving forward after everything that had happened to him, he knew that Sam would never really be the same again.

Dean jumped suddenly when he felt his brother's hand rest on his own for a moment and he opened his eyes.

You're strong too, Dean thought and smiled, you didn't let this destroy you completely, did you Sammy?

Despite Dean's pessimistic thoughts, he knew that while Sam may never fully recover from what had been done to him at the hands of Lilith and her demons, he wasn't going to let that stop him altogether. He was making progress- slowly but surely- every single day and that was good enough for Dean. He didn't expect Sam to not be affected by what had happened, and carry around those affects- he'd be more concerned if his brother wasn't- but he knew that Sam, being the stubborn way he was, would not be so easily stopped by them.

SPN

Bobby smiled at the sight of the Winchester brothers sitting side by side on his front porch, enjoying the pleasant weather, as though they didn't have a care in the world.

The grizzled hunter turned away from the window, not wanting to be caught spying and couldn't help but think about the first time he had met the Winchesters.

Sam had been very young, just starting to walk, and had been practically glued to his older brother's side. John had left the boys in a hurry, eager to head to Hot Springs to follow up on the lead he'd had on the monster that had killed his wife. The lead, as it turned out, had come in the form of a newspaper article describing the death of a family from Hot Springs, South Dakota who had perished in a fiery blaze during the night. At the time the fire department had had no idea what had caused the fire and that was what had caught the younger hunter's attention.

Bobby would have gone with John but with no one to watch over the ex-mechanic's young sons, the older hunter had decided that Sam and Dean needed him more than their father did.

Dean, still in Kindergarten, had been wary of the grizzled hunter from the start. He wasn't the most trusting child, especially since his mother's death, and had kept himself- and little Sammy- at a distance from Bobby.

The youngest Winchester though, at first shy, quickly warmed up to Bobby, releasing Dean's hand to toddle after the veteran hunter as he made his way into the kitchen.

Sam, who was just learning the ins and outs of walking, had become overexcited and had tried to run to Bobby, tripping over his own uncoordinated feet to fall and dash his chin against the hardwood floor. Dean, of course, had rushed forward to comfort his brother but Bobby arrived first. Scooping up the infant, Bobby had murmured soothingly to Sam, rubbing his back somewhat awkwardly until the boy quieted. Dean had watched the procedure quietly, clearly judging Bobby on his ability to look after his brother.

Bobby had apparently passed the test and within the span of two days had both brothers trailing after him like a mother hen. When John returned from Hot Springs, tired and disappointed- the fire had been found to be the result of faulty wiring in the victims' home and not a supernatural entity- Sam was reluctant to go with him. Cuddled in Bobby's arms, the tyke had turned his head away from John as his father reached out for him.

Dean managed to convince Sam to let go of Bobby and instead walked hand-in-hand with him out to the Impala.

At first Bobby was certain the young father was going to be upset by the way his son had acted but John just looked relieved that Sam had been so attached to the veteran hunter at all.

Bobby thought that was the last time he'd see the family Winchester but only a few weeks later was surprised to find the youngsters on his porch again, their father driving away in a plume of dust from the driveway as he headed out on another hunt.

The grizzled hunter shook his head as he once more gazed at the two young men on his porch. It had been a rocky start at first but in no time at all the brothers had grown to love Bobby and he, them. Now, for better or worse, Sam and Dean Winchester were as close to Bobby Singer as though they were his own sons.

And, like his own sons, Bobby worried about them.

Even though Bobby knew how patient and caring Dean could be when it came to his brother, the older sibling's compassion and understanding never ceased to amaze him. Sure, Dean wanted Sam to get better- Bobby did too- but he was able to keep his impulsive and pushy attitude in check and let his brother move forward at his own pace.

Bobby was stunned at Sam's ability to recover as well. Though he still had a long way to go, Sam was showing genuine signs of improvement. Bobby knew that it wouldn't have been the same if he didn't have Dean by his side.

Bobby thought back to the night Dean had arrived at the Salvage Yard, grief-stricken and lost, and recalled his own numb sense of sadness upon being told that Sam was dead. How completely different he felt now. Those dark feelings seemed as though they belonged to someone else, not him, as pride and hope stirred within him at the sight of the younger Winchester, bruised but definitely not broken.

The hunter was interrupted in his nostalgia by the telephone and he grabbed it from the cradle, grunting a greeting:

"What?"

Bobby sighed as Rufus Turner snarled his own unpleasant pleasantry and turned away from the window to listen to his old friend.

SPN

That evening, long after the younger Winchester had gone to sleep, Dean and Bobby sat up, drinking beers and watching mindless television.

As a commercial for Biggerson's restaurants came on, interrupting the program, Dean spoke up.

"I think we should get Sammy another dog."

Bobby looked at the younger man, one eyebrow raised in interest.

"Sam's still hardly talking," Dean continued, "And he still refuses to look at anyone."

Bobby nodded in agreement, "Chester did real wonders for Sam before… mayhaps having another dog can bring him out of his shell this time too."

"That's exactly what I was thinking!" Dean exclaimed happily.

"What kind of dog should we get?" the younger hunter asked eagerly, "A Labrador, like before, or something different."

"Why don't we let Sam decide?" Bobby offered and Dean looked at him, confused, until he explained.

"The a no-kill shelter downtown, the one where we got Chester? Well, I think we should take yer brother and let him choose his dog."

Dean shook his head, "I don't know, Bobby. Sam… you know how he is still and… what if he zones out while we're there or something?"

Despite Dean's nerves, Bobby smiled, "It'll be alright, Son. Trust me."

The younger man thought on the idea for a long moment before he finally nodded.

Dean smiled, thinking about how happy and exited Sam was going to be when they went to pick out a new dog.

SPN

Bobby was certain that Dean was more excited about going to the shelter then his brother since Sam barely reacted upon hearing the news.

Sam simply continued eating the toast Dean had made for him slowly, head bowed, and hair covering his eyes.

"Sam? Sammy," Dean asked, concerned, one hand on his brother's shoulder.

"If you don't want to go, just say so," the older brother said, "We're not making you, are we Bobby?"

The grizzled hunter looked up from his newspaper.

"Nah," he said, "If you'd rather stay here, yer brother and I can go and get you one."

Bobby saw the stricken look on Dean's face as he spoke and he mentally kicked himself. The younger man was still wary about leaving his sibling all alone, especially after what had happened when he'd gone with Bobby to get those car parts needed from Belle Fourche.

"Or I can go," he amended.

Sam sat his half-eaten piece of toast on the saucer, "No."

Dean looked at his sibling; apparently Sam wasn't about to be left behind this time while his brother and Bobby went to go find him another dog. Dean smiled nervously, glad that Sam wanted to go but anxious about him being in public when he clearly still had a long road to recovery.

Just deal with it, Dean told himself, if anything happens, just deal with it.

"Let's all go," he said finally, smiling grimly.

SPN

Dean smiled at the alarmed expression on the angels face as he drove the Impala towards the gate.

The young man rolled down the window as he stopped the Chevy, "We're going into town for a little bit to get Sammy a new dog."

The angel frowned, "Do you think it wise?"

Dean smiled, "We all have those Enochian sigils on our ribs and it's not like we're going on a road-trip. It takes fifteen minutes to get to town."

Castiel did not look convinced; "Enochian sigils will not protect you from an angel if they find you."

"Then why don't you come with us?" Dean suggested, "For extra protection."

The angel paused, "If you insist on all three of you leaving then I suppose I must."

Dean chuckled, shaking his head as Castiel disappeared from the driveway, only to reappear in the classic Chevy's backseat beside Sam.

W

Dean grinned charmingly at the petite redheaded girl who greeted them as they entered the shelter. She introduced herself as Claire, and told them that she was a volunteer.

The reception area of the shelter was clean, though it smelled faintly of dog, and the Winchesters could hear faint sounds of barking coming from the back room.

"Are you looking for any dog in particular? We have many different breeds," Claire told them as the group followed her to where the dogs were kept.

"We're just looking," Dean told her vaguely.

Sam stayed close to his brother as they followed the redhead, clearly nervous. Dean understood, and kept one hand on his brother's elbow as they walked and the contact seemed to reassure his younger sibling somewhat.

Bobby and Castiel brought up the rear, the angel staring wide-eyed at the double rows of kennels that took up the back room.

Dogs of all shapes and sizes barked at the humans, jumping up against the doors, tails wagging with excitement.

Dean noticed that the majority of the animals were adults; many of the puppies already having been adopted.

Claire stopped and gestured widely, "Well, here we are. You can take a look around. I'll be up front if you need anything. Let me know when you make a decision."

Dean smiled at the girl and nodded, "We will."

Once the redhead was gone, Dean turned to his brother, "Okay, Sammy, see anyone you like?"

The younger sibling had his head bowed so that his bangs flopped over his eyes and Dean wondered how he could see anything like that but didn't try and brush Sam's hair away from his face or lift his head. If it made Sam more comfortable then Dean wasn't going to stop him, he knew that the behaviour would pass in time.

Sam slowly left his brother's side, peering into each of the kennels as he walked by.

Dean paused in front of a kennel with a Jack Russell Terrier inside and bent down, scratching the dog's ears through the chain-link of the cage.

The young man looked up to see Castiel in the middle of a staring contest with a Great Dane that was almost as tall as he was. The angel tilted his head to the side and the dog mimicked the action before jumping back, giving a happy bark and wagging its tail.

Castiel reached out a hand and laid it against the chain-link of the kennel, his palm against the Great Dane's large, wet nose.

Dean chuckled and stood, searching for his brother. He caught sight of Sam at the far end of the room, crouched in front of a kennel.

"Looks like Sammy's found a new friend," Dean said and headed down the aisle to where his brother was.

The younger Winchester was scratching the head of a mutt. The dog had shaggy, sand-coloured fur that grew lighter to cream on its throat and belly. The animal had the same distinct markings that were common to Huskies, though instead of black, the fur was chestnut brown. Floppy triangular ears, pointed nose, bushy tail and blue eyes completed the mixed-breed dog.

Dean could see that the animal was elderly, grey fur radiated out from its muzzle and around its eyes. It's tail wagged slowly back and forth with pleasure as Sam continued to scratch its dome-shaped head.

Laying a hand on his brother's shoulder, Dean smiled. The dog really was beautiful, and good-natured, the perfect fit for his younger sibling.

"Are you sure you want this one?" Dean asked and Sam nodded once.

"I'll go get Claire," Bobby announced and left the brothers and Castiel.

The angel looked at the old dog, curiously.

"She likes your brother," Castiel told Dean matter-of-factly and the young man nodded, "Yeah, look at her tail wagging."

The angel tilted his head; "She feels a connection with him. She too was abused."

Dean looked at Castiel for a long moment, "Oh."

"Animals know far more then what humans give them credit for," the angel said, "Surely you've come to notice that certain species are able to sense the presence of monsters in the area when you are hunting?"

Dean thought back to one case in particular, not long after Sam had left Stanford, when he and his brother had been looking for a shapeshifter. A neighbor of the victim had had a dog and, Dean remembered being told that the animal had once been friendly though when he had seen it, the pet had been snapping and slobbering, the complete opposite because it could still sense a threat in the area that was undetectable to humans.

"Yeah," Dean muttered, "I have."

"Hey!" Claire called suddenly as she and Bobby walked down the hall, the volunteer holding a collar and leash in one hand, "You've decided?"

Dean nodded, "We'll take this one."

Claire smiled when she saw which dog the Winchesters wanted, "She's a real sweetheart."

"She's been here for months," Claire explained as Sam stood up, backing away so she could open the door to the kennel, "No one's wanted to adopt her because of her age."

"How old is she?" Dean asked curiously.

Claire paused, "Eleven. That's alright with you, isn't it?"

Dean nodded, "Of course."

Claire opened the kennel door and started rubbing the dog's head, "She's a mutt. We're sure she has some Husky and Golden Retriever in her… maybe even German Shepherd but we're not completely certain."

Dean watched as the redhead expertly put the collar around the dog's neck and attached the leash.

"She has arthritis in her hips so she won't like long walks," Claire continued, "All she wants to do is cuddle."

The redhead handed the leash to Dean, "You'll just have to fill out some paperwork and then Ginger is yours."

"Ginger?" Dean asked.

Claire smiled somewhat sheepishly, "That's just what we call her around here but you can change her name if you want."

W

Dean couldn't help but smile every time he glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Sam stroking the dog's thick fur, the ghost of a smile on his face.

As soon as they had left the shelter, Dean had taken off the dog's leash and wasn't surprised to find that the animal had stayed close to Sam's side as though she had always been with him.

"Are you going to keep her name or change it?" Dean asked his sibling and Sam shrugged.

"She wouldn't mind if you gave her a different name, Samuel," Castiel piped up and Dean glanced at the angel.

The dog was practically sitting on Sam's lap, pink tongue lolling out, eyes half-closed with pleasure as the young man scratched the fur at her neck.

Sam leaned forward and rested his face against the dog's back, breathing in the scent of her shaggy fur.

Bobby, sitting in the front passenger seat, looked over his shoulder and chuckled.

"What a motley crew we are," he muttered happily; glad that his idea had worked and Sam now had something that would continue to help him heal from the injuries he had suffered at the hands of Lilith and her minions.

W

Once they had returned to the Salvage Yard, Sam, Dean and the new dog sat out on the porch; the older brother trying to think up names for the canine.

"Cinnamon?" he offered and Sam shook his head.

"Uh… Butterscotch?" The dog glanced over at Dean as if to say, 'do you only think about food?'

"Maybe you should just keep her name," Dean suggested as Sam continued to reject the ones he came up with, "Ginger's not all that bad."

Sam stared at the dog for a long moment, deep in thought. He smiled when the animal licked his face playfully and told his brother his decision.

"Hope," he muttered.

"Hope?" Dean repeated to make sure he had heard correctly.

Sam nodded and Dean smiled, feeling tears prickle at the corners of his eyes.

"That's a great name for her, Sammy," he said and reached out to pat Hope's head.

SPN

Sam opened his eyes slowly, carefully and stared at the shape in the bed across from his. Dean was fast asleep- Sam could hear him snoring slightly- no idea that his younger sibling was awake.

Sam stared up at the ceiling for a long moment, just listening to his brother quietly.

The young man could smell the earthy scent of coffee wafting into the room from the kitchen downstairs, brining with it a strong craving for the dark, hot liquid. Sam hadn't had coffee in what seemed like ages and wanted one badly.

Glancing to his right, Sam frowned. Dean might worry if he woke up and found him missing. Sam had gotten into the habit of sleeping later then he usually did, waking up later then even Dean sometimes or waiting until his brother was up himself, often picking Hope up and depositing her on the bed with him since her arthritis made it difficult for her to jump.

The scent of fresh-brewed coffee was too hard to resist though and Sam sat up.

Hope lifted her head and stood slowly from where she had been laying in the bedroom doorway- her favourite place to sleep- and made her way over towards Sam.

The young man reached down and scratched in between the dog's ears before standing and making his way out of the bedroom, Hope padding along behind him.

SPN

Bobby Singer settled into one of the chairs at the kitchen table, newspaper and cup of coffee in hand, ready for a bit of relaxation.

Two weeks had passed since Sam had been rescued from the demon queen's clutches a second time and the younger hunter was slowly starting to come around; his recovery sped up by the fact that they had recently acquired a new member of the family of a canine nature.

Although Sam still had a long way to go before he would be his old self again- if he would ever make it that far- having Hope around clearly made a difference to him.

Still anxious and prone to allowing Dean to lead him around if he felt things were too much and he closed himself off, Sam was never seen without the elderly dog by his side. Sometimes, Bobby would catch the young man, face buried in the animal's soft fur, murmuring to her and the veteran hunter knew Sam was talking to the dog about what he had gone through, telling her things he couldn't- or wouldn't- tell his brother or him, just as he had with Chester.

Sam had even begun to make eye contact periodically with Bobby and his brother. It never lasted very long, a couple of seconds before he lost his nerve, but it was a huge improvement to the young man who went around with his head constantly lowered, hair obscuring his eyes.

The younger Winchester was still very quiet though, rarely speaking- at least not to Bobby or Dean- and had trouble with his brother's name.

One day, Bobby recalled, shortly after they had adopted Hope, Sam had wanted to get his brother's attention from across the living room. He had been about to call Dean's name as he always had but then stopped, flinching and shrank into himself.

Dean, trying to not to make a big deal out of it, had told his brother to call him Batman, using the hero's familiar rough tones to voice his request. That had gotten Sam to smile just a little but Bobby knew that it was still a sore spot for the young man.

But despite all that Sam was visibly making a comeback.

Bobby smiled and took a sip of coffee. He looked up from his paper when he heard footsteps coming down the stairs; Dean must be awake.

It was not the older Winchester who entered the kitchen and offered a 'good morning' to the veteran hunter.

Bobby spluttered on his coffee as Sam entered the room, greeting him.

"Good morning to you too, Son," the grizzled hunter replied, smiling widely.

He watched without comment as the younger hunter took two mugs from the cupboard and proceeded to make coffee for himself and his brother.

Bobby jumped slightly when he felt Hope lay her chin against his leg and he reached down to scratch behind the elderly dog's ears.

SPN

Sam carefully poured coffee into each of the mugs, the once-familiar gesture feeling new and strange after not performing them for a little over a year. The actions of pouring coffee, measuring milk and sugar, something people did on a daily basis without much thought, relaxed Sam and gave him a sense of normalcy and security.

Once the coffees were ready, Sam left the kitchen, walking slowly so as not to spill a drop, and headed back upstairs.

Hope followed along behind Sam, making her way up the staircase as slowly as he was, her arthritis worse in the mornings.

Dean was stirring from sleep just as Sam stepped into the bedroom. He woke groggily, glancing to his brother's empty bed before he caught sight of Sam in the doorway, holding two coffee mugs.

"Sammy?" he muttered and rubbed his eyes, "Did you… You didn't go downstairs by yourself and get us coffee, did you?"

Dean's expression turned to one of shock when Sam smiled and stepped forward, handing him the mug of black coffee.

Hope sat down beside the bed, looking up at Dean with her clear blue eyes, begging to be petted.

The older brother obliged the dog; stunned that Sam had actually gone to the kitchen on his own to bring him a coffee.

"You're amazing," Dean told the canine, "You know that?"

Hope opened her mouth, giving the hunter a toothy dog grin.

W

Sam avoided his brother's surprised look as he ate the bacon and eggs Bobby had made for breakfast, having passed on the toast or oatmeal he had eating as the most important meal of the day.

"Come here," Dean said, waving a piece of bacon in the air at knee-height to get Hope's attention, "You deserve this."

The dog gently took the bacon from the young man's fingers before gobbling it down, blue eyes pinned on Dean's face in case he decided to give her more.

"Don't feed that dog at the table," Bobby grumbled.

Dean shrugged and returned to his own breakfast.

SPN

Dean smiled at the sight of his brother curled up on the couch with the dog. Both were watching what looked like a documentary on wolves. It was only the two brothers at the house, Bobby having left for Madison just after breakfast to help another hunter find out what was killing co-eds at Dakota State University, and expected to be absent for the next few days.

Taking a seat on the other end of the couch, Dean cleared his throat.

"How're you feeling, Sammy?"

The question, which would have been a stupid one, if asked only weeks ago, now didn't seem all that ridiculous with the progress Sam was making. Even though his brother was getting better, Dean knew what had happened to his brother would completely be forgotten, and he wanted to make sure that Sam knew he was there for him.

"Okay," Sam muttered, "Better."

Dean nodded, wishing his brother would feel comfortable enough to have an actual conversation with him rather than answer in one or two words; he supposed that would come with time though. At least Sam felt he was safe enough to talk at all.

"That's good," Dean agreed, "I'm glad."

There was a pause in which Dean wasn't sure what to say next.

"You know… if ever you need to talk… I mean… with someone who doesn't have fleas, I'm here," Dean said finally, joking gently.

Sam smiled, his gaze lowering to look at Hope.

"I know."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, well… I'll let you get back to your show."

Sam didn't lift his head to look at him as Dean stood and retreated, feeling uncomfortable.

Instead of staying inside, Dean ventured into the yard, walking around the scrap cars towering in unsteady piles.

He sighed and rubbed a hand over his face. He wanted his brother to feel as though he could talk to him, like he used to when they were kids.

Did Sam think Dean was going to judge him over something he had no control over?

Did Sam think Dean was going to hate him- leave him- if Sam opened up to him about what had happened to him?

Dean might not have been there but he knew what Lilith and her goons had done, had seen it first hand when that demon had attacked Sam in the guest bedroom.

Dean shook his head, no, Sam knew he could tell him anything and he wouldn't hold it against him. Sam just wasn't ready to talk.

And he might never be ready, Dean thought, what Lilith and her cronies did to Sam wasn't like what happened before and he has every right not to talk about it with me if he doesn't want to.

Dean just didn't want his brother to feel as though he couldn't talk to him.

SPN

Sam wasn't watching the documentary any more. He sat, fingers carding through Hope's shaggy coat, thinking.

Sam knew that he could tell Dean anything- had been able to since they were kids- but he just wasn't ready. Not yet. He knew that he could tell his brother what had happened to him when he'd been captured by Lilith for the second time… only he wasn't sure he would. Some things were best left unsaid. But just knowing that Dean was there, willing to listen, made all the difference to Sam.

The younger Winchester felt tears well up in his eyes as he thought about good his brother had been to him during the past couple of weeks, how patient, caring, even after everything that had happened. Dean had stayed by his side the entire time, not judging or showing anger, just letting Sam know he was there for him, not matter what.

The young man didn't know what he would have done if his brother had gone to Hell. He'd have been all alone. Sam used to think that he didn't need his brother around, that he didn't want Dean around, but he was wrong. Sam needed his big brother; he wanted his big brother with him.

The younger Winchester knew he'd never be able to live in a world that didn't have his older brother in it.

Glancing at Hope, Sam sighed, wiping his face, and stood. He needed to talk to Dean… really talk to him.

Taking a deep breath to steady himself, Sam left the living room, heading outside to look for his brother.

SPN

Dean looked up, surprised when Hope found him resting in the front seat of a dilapidated T-Bird, and began barking.

"Where's Sam?" the young man asked and reached down to pet the dog.

Hearing footsteps approach, Dean saw his brother following the sounds of the dog's barking.

"Hey, Sammy," the older brother greeted, "Didn't want to watch TV anymore?"

Sam shook his head. He looked nervous. He was wringing his hands together and his gaze was cast downward.

"Sam? Are you okay?" Dean asked, suddenly concerned, and got out from the car.

His brother nodded and looked up, smiling slightly.

"Y-Yeah," he assured him, "I… wanted to… talk to you."

Dean looked at his brother expectantly, "Okay, okay just take a deep breath."

Sam nodded again, taking a moment to gather himself.

"I th-thought about what you said," Sam began and Dean's eyes pinched.

"No, Sammy, if you don't want to talk about what happened you don't have to. I won't make you, I don't want you to feel uncomfortable-" he began but his sibling interrupted him.

"I know," he told Dean, "And… I want to talk… about some things… but… not everything…"

The older brother nodded, "I understand."

"What… what I really wanted to s-say," Sam started again, clearly forcing himself to speak, "W-Was that… If I could go back and… and make that same choice again… make that s-same deal again… I would…"

Dean frowned, not knowing what to say.

"I… I don't know if… if you're angry at m-me for what I did but I d-don't care… I wouldn't change what happened…" Sam continued, lifting his gaze to look his brother in the face, his green eyes moist.

"You've always looked after me… out for me… and it was m-my turn to do the same for you. So, you can be pissed at me if you want… but I would always d-do it the exact same way if given the choice."

Dean felt tears well up in his own eyes at his brother's pronouncement. He couldn't believe what he was hearing; he couldn't believe that Sam would be willing to endure all the abuse, all the torture he had suffered over the past year just to save him if he could have a do-over.

"Sammy," Dean said, "I don't hate you. I never hated you for doing what you did."

The younger brother looked as though an immense weight had been lifted from his shoulders and he sighed, wiping at his eyes with his sleeve.

Dean stepped forward and pulled his sibling into a tight hug, stunned at how selfless his little brother was.

"I'm g-gonna get better," Sam mumbled with his face pressed against Dean's shoulder, "I a-am getting better."

Dean nodded, "Yeah, you are, Sammy. And I'm going to be with you every step along the way. I'm never going to abandon you, Sam. Never."

Author's Note:

Chapter title comes from a Genesis song by the same name.

Special thanks to Jenjoremy for helping me when I got stuck on this chapter.

Thanks to angeleyenc, Jenjoremy, mandancie, whimsicalbarwench, jensensgirl3, NiceGirl36, SPN Mum, Jkf340, Souldarkalone, Kas3y, Icyfox West, SamDeanLover28, babyreaper, BranchSuper, L.A.H.H, reannablue, and T.L. Arens for reviewing.

Well, this is it folks. The end. I hope you have enjoyed reading this story as much as I enjoyed sharing it with all of you. I am sad to have to wrap it up but I have many more ideas yearning to be written. Please take a moment and leave a final thought or comment and I'll catch you next time.