AN: Trigger warning to those with ptsd from rape or sexual abuse/assault. This story is dark and sad and not very pretty but I felt it needed to be written.

John and Sherlock ran to Sherlock's bedroom after an intriguing conversation in their sitting room which involved John confessing his love for Sherlock, Sherlock reciprocating those feelings, and then a very long kiss between the two of them.

Sherlock closed the door to his bedroom and John kissed him firmly, pushing him down onto the bed.

Sherlock had been excited before, but now he was suddenly uneasy and uncomfortable. John seemed to notice. Sherlock tried to conceal it, but as John began to unbutton Sherlock's shirt, Sherlock had a horrific flashback.

...

He'd snuck out to a party because some kids from school told him he should come. It was a party with all the seniors and juniors from their school and somehow Sherlock and his friends, who had just started freshman year were going to some senior's house. Their social standing would soar! They'd be kings of their class!

There was a girl, who looked about nineteen. Sherlock had forgotten her name. She should've already graduated, he remembered, but she got held back. She'd spotted him from across a mass of people but as she made her way toward him, his friends had dragged him off somewhere.

Sherlock had never drank before. At first he said no, but his friends insisted. He figured no harm could come from one or two…or four or five.

Sherlock's memory of that night was blurred and foggy. The girl from earlier had come onto him. He rebuffed her; girls weren't his area. But she kept pursuing him. She wouldn't let him go.

She'd dragged him upstairs to someone's bedroom. She pushed him down onto the bed and he was too drunk to get himself up. She closed the door and locked it.

Sherlock remembered everything clearly after that. Terrifyingly clearly. She'd overpowered him easily; he was weak and scrawny anyway and being drunk didn't help. He could barely move.

"No…stop…" he slurred.

She didn't listen, pulling off both their clothes and touching him below his waist.

"Stop…please…" he slurred, writhing beneath her. "I don't… wanna…please…I don want to…"

"Of course you want to," she said. "You've got a boner. You want to."

"No…please…get off me!"

She didn't listen to him. He struggled underneath her as she positioned herself on top of him and put a pillow over his face to muffle his screams while she raped him. He cried and thrashed around on the bed trying to free himself but he couldn't get her off of him.

"Sherlock…" said a voice.

Sherlock thrashed and screamed, tears pouring down his face. "No! Stop! Please stop! No! No! NO!"

"Sherlock, snap out of it!" said John.

"NO! STOP! PLEASE!" screamed Sherlock.

"Sherlock…Sherlock, you're okay, you're alright. No one's hurting you, Sherlock."

Sherlock heard a familiar voice. John… Sherlock's eyes opened and he was back in 221 Baker Street. Back with John, who was sitting beside him, holding his hand tightly.

"John…?" Sherlock said, a faint crack in his voice.

John wiped some of the tears from Sherlock's cheek with the sleeve of his jumper. He kissed Sherlock softly on the cheek. "Are you alright?" he asked. "You got all shaky and then you were screaming and thrashing around and I didn't know what to do."

…When the girl had finished abusing him, she got up, pulled her clothes on and left. She left him alone, bruises on his face and arms, tears streaming down his cheeks…he was fourteen years old…still a child.…

Sherlock took a deep breath. "I'm okay…" he said softly.

"Are you sure?" asked John. "Here, come on, I'll make you some tea." He took Sherlock by the hand and brought him to the living room. He set Sherlock down in his chair and went into the kitchen to turn the kettle on. When he came back with their tea, he saw Sherlock curled up on the chair crying. John set the tea down on the desk and held Sherlock gently in his arms while he cried.

"Shh…" whispered John. "Shh…you're okay, I'm here…" He held Sherlock in his arms for the rest of the night, watching over him after Sherlock fell asleep