A/N: So hay this is a little one shot that follows on in the Broken Coin series. it's just more angst really. As always I do not own anything to do with Merlin I just hope you enjoy this.

Searching Hearts

Merlin was dead.

He had to be, it was the only explanation Arthur had for him being gone for so long. It had been months since anyone had last seen him and every day without him had felt like a year off Arthur's life.

Leaning against the cool stone of the balcony Arthur looked out over his kingdom, watching as people rushed through the courtyard below and disappeared into the surrounding town. They were getting on with their lives, working hard under the hazy winter sun, cloaks bundled around them to keep out the chill. And when the days' work was over they would return home to their families, to the people they loved and cared for the most. Arthur would never have that.

Merlin had disappeared months ago, slipping into the shadows of the night, not uttering a word to anyone regarding him leaving the castle, and that was just not like Merlin.

On Arthur's request he told at last two people when he ventured further than the castles gates. He had moaned at the time but as Morgana grew as a threat so did Arthur's insatiable need to know where his most beloved was at all times.

Sighing Arthur darted his eyes over to the large set of stairs that lead out into the court yard, watching as the doors were flung open and Gwaine rushed down the stone steps and towards his waiting horse. His red cloak billowed out behind him, his lips set in a grim line of determination.

With a heavy heart Arthur thought back to the day Gwaine had told him of Merlin's disappearance, he had worn the same look then. His voice had shook with a mix of anger and fear, his eyes pleading for Arthur to understand what was happening.

Merlin had been gone for almost three days before his trusted knights had sent Gwaine to tell him the devastating news. Arthur had raged, screaming and cursing, throwing around insults and damnations, anything to stop the tears that were threatening to fall. He was king he couldn't be seen crying in front of his subjects. It was a sign of weakness and he wouldn't allow his people to see him as that.

Guinevere had been by his side the whole time offering up, explanations and soothing words but Arthur knew now they were nothing more than excuses.

He had personally questioned everyone who had shown even the slightest hint of friendship with Merlin, wanting to know everything about the last moments they had spent with him. When he learnt that Merlin had slipped away in the night, taking nothing with him but the clothes he had been wearing Arthur had known then that Merlin had not planned to leave Camelot, had not planned on leaving Arthur.

Within a day of Arthur being told he had several search parties set up, each one heading in a different direction to look for his missing love. All had returned days later exhausted and pushed to their limits. None had found even a trace of the missing man.

This had carried on for weeks, knights coming and going, each group going further than the one before, but to no avail. Every time they came back heavy on their feet and Merlin-less a little part of Arthur had died.

Soon enough it had been three months since he had seen his lover, heard his voice, kissed his soft lips. The court had begun to gossip, word spreading through his kingdom of Arthurs obsession to find one lone servant.

It had broken his heart but eventually he had called off the searches, admitting defeat in the halls of his home but in his own chambers, when it was just him and his loving wife he planned routs and treks for his knights to explore, always ever hopeful that they would find some sign of the man he loved hidden deep within the forests.

But now winter was setting in, the snow falling more and more every day and he knew that no matter what Merlin did, he would most likely not survive the harsh winter. The thought filled Arthur with a dread like he had never known before, striking him to core like a dagger of ice being thrust into his heart.

He knew what people said, whisper words of Merlin's stupidity and his incapability to hold his drink. They whispered to one another about bandits and sorcerers, playing up Merlin's stupidity until people thought him nothing more than a bumbling simpleton.

They didn't know the real Merlin.

If they had then they wouldn't spread such unjustified lies. Wouldn't look at him with a mix of pity and confusion, not understanding why their king would fight so hard to see the return of a one man, nothing more than a servant.

"Arthur". He didn't bother to turn when Gwen called his name, knowing that she would find him soon enough. Her hand was gentle as she paced it on her shoulder, meant to comfort him in his obvious moment of distress. She was not successful in her endeavour.

She came to stand next to him, her eyes instantly falling to Gwaine as he pulled himself up onto his horse. They both watched in silence as he speed out of the courtyard and through the town, heading into the woods and the last place where Merlin had been seen.

"He'll find him". Gwen's voice was just as soft as her touch, nothing more than a whisper in the early morning breeze.

Arthur had every faith that Gwaine would return with a shivering, slightly skinnier Merlin in tow, he had to. Arthur had promised Gwen ad his knights that this would be the last one. The weather was getting to bad and it had been too long without any sign of life.

Everyone had given up hope of ever setting eyes on Merlin again but Arthur wouldn't. He would spend every day, till he took his last breath, searching for his love.

They were two side of the same coin, destined for one another. They belonged together and one way or another they would be together once again, even if Arthur had to wait for death to see his wide smile and sparkling blue eyes once more.

Shrugging out of Gwen's lose hold Arthur turned and headed back into their chambers, his chin held high. Just like time and time before they would find each other and it didn't matter what people said or whispered behind his back he was never going to stop looking, even if he killed him.

Glancing over his should Arthur whispered the two little words that rang with his determination and desperation. Those two words sealing his fate.

"I know".