Author's Note: Hey, everyone! So, I've been seeing tons of Malec AU stories from Magnus' perspective and not so many long fics from Alec's POV, so I decided I wanted to try it. I apologize if it sucks! And I'm planning for this to be a loooong fic, so hold onto your hats, I guess. Just a note, I'm picturing Magnus as the ever-amazing Godfrey Gao, who's playing Magnus in the movies. However, feel free to picture him however you want. Second note, I'm uploading the prologue and chap one the same day, so there will be no note on chap one.

Warnings: Language, (eventual) mentions of sex/implication, that's it

Disclaimer: I don't own the Mortal Instruments series or its characters. If I did, it would be Magnus/Alec centric, and they most certainly wouldn't have broken up. Sob.

Prologue

Honesty. Integrity. Self-sacrifice. Discipline. These were the morals I was raised on, I was taught to live. I lived with the same set of moral values as my ancestors, grandfathers, and father before me. To live with these values, to embody them, was to live with honor, was to lead to a successful life. That's what I was taught. That's what I knew. However, my previous understanding of life was incinerated, blown away, through the actions of a single man. Magnus Bane.

He reshaped everything about me—replaced my honesty with artifice, my integrity with dishonor, my self-sacrifice with selfishness, my discipline with passion. He came to redefine everything about me, down to the very marrow of my bones.

There are many feelings that I can't rightly express to him, can't correctly show him:

Gratitude.

Sympathy.

Jealousy.

Anger.

Longing.

After all, he was my teacher, my friend, my partner, my lover…I have this cacophony of feelings that tie me to him. Sometimes I wonder if the old me, the one that hadn't met Magnus and didn't know emotion, would tolerate this, be able to cope. I doubt it. I can barely handle them now, now that he's gone. Sometimes I feel like I can't breathe, let alone move on.

But I don't regret meeting him, or loving him. Being miserable is better than being empty, and I learned about joy and completeness from him. Those memories are something I wouldn't trade away for anything in the world.

My name is Alexander Lightwood, but everyone calls me Alec. This is the story of how I met Magnus Bane.