A/N: WHOOOOHEEE! sorry im just all happy :) the glass is out of my feet! also i get to write a new chapter to my second fic planet swap which is good for everyone involved. especially you!

Chapter 2: The Families Meet the Houses

"Welcome back to Planet Swap! Remember: IRK SWAP USA! We finally get to see what happens when the roughfighting Zim household mixes it up with the luxurious Tallest shiphold!"

"But before all that, our alien swappers will get to see the houses of each others famillies."

Purple opened the door with his left hand and scootered around. "Hmm... this place looks poor." All around there was dirty clothes, dirty plates and dirty smells. There was bits of batteries lying on the floor...

"Zim still has his SIR unit?" Purple exclamed and glared. "I thought he would have... you know, broken it or something. Well, whatever." Purple glanced about as though to smirk at Red... but he wasn't there. This filled his sad bags with glum.

Purple went to the kitchen the first time. Glancing inside the fridge he looked mad. "Do they even eat?" He guessed they didn't need to. This was not going to be any good...

"Wait, who is Zim married to anyway?"

He glanced around for pictures on the wall but all he found was plates and cupboards. Instead of looking in the kitchen, he went to look in different rooms.

Like the living room. He went there next. There were a lot to look at but none of it was nice.

"This place is a dump." He smirked a frown. "I'd rather live on Dirt." He rolled his eyes. "At least there wouldn't be kids there."

BANG BANG KNOCK... The new family was here!

"Alright, let's go check on that human guy."

"WOAH Look at all this... STUFF... this is insane! Zim's leaders get all this just for being... taller than everyone else? How does that make sen-IS THAT A SWIMMING POOL?"

It was.

Dib thought about taking a dip, pretending to jump in, but then snickered and thought otherwise. Zim would have pushed him in, probably, but he wasn't here. Maybe that was a nice break.

"WOW WHAT IS THAT... thing... oh..." Dib covered his mouth and monkey noises roared from the disembabier pit. "Not... going there again."

Strolling over around the Massive while singing "Doo-dee-do-di-doo," Dib checked out all there was to see. Screaming in shock and aghast with amazement, he was pretty impressed! "Man, but, how many kids do they even have?" Dib pondered, "They have enough room for... MILLIONS... maybe even BILLIONS." He thought of this for a moment. "Nah, okay, probably less than that - like, fifty I guess. Yeah. Maybe they have fifty kids."

He kind of hoped they didn't though, and "but there's no sign of ANY kids anywhere. Do they even let them play or... do anything?"

"Oh, I don't know, maybe?"

"Wow! This bed!" Dib leapt onto the Massive mattress bouncing up and down without stop. "Man! I'm gonna love it here!"

DING GONG... Looks like Tallest Red was back!

"Well now we've had a look at both of our families new homes, it's time to take a good look at how well Purple mingles with the Zims."

Zim pushed beyond the door of his house with his children in tow to greet a disgrutinaled Purple on the other side.

"Greetings my tallest, my name is ZIM," screamed Zim and sticking his arms into the sky.

Purple put his hand-claws on his hips and said, "I know who you are." With a big frown.

Zim agreed and smiled, "Yes... I am HONOURED to meet you."

Purple looked like he was going to vomit with rage. But then he wouldn't.

Zim goosewaddled up to the taller man and produced a babe who was additionally a robot. "This is my oldest child, GIR!"

Purple squelched a squint and stated, "Hey… I know who GIR is. I made him. With Red."

Zim folded his hand onto his forehead. He was very confused. "But… I'm the dad?"

Purple frowned as GIR ran upside down and lept into his arms. "MAMMY!" GIR shrieked and cuddled Purple. Purple dropped him onto his shiny bottom. GIR looked down, ashamed and sad. "Where's daddy?"

"Right here, GIR," Zim wept and picked him up. GIR frowned as if to disagree.

"NO, Daddy not here. Wow tacos." GIR went distract. He held beans and bread and in his hand.

Purple warped his expressions and said, "I'm glad he's gone."

Zim said, "Yes…." And then looked around. Picking up Tak, he held up her up like a lion cub. "This is my SECOND oldest child, TAK."

Purple looked confused. "Wowowowow so, wait, you named your child after another failed Invader?"

Zim said "heh?"

Purple laughed. "You must really like failure, Zim."

Tak giggled and clapped at the word 'failure' because mama said it a lot. But Zim and Purple didn't know that.

"Your house and your kids are boring," said Purple. "Show me something else."

Zim crunched his nails in terror, before pinging lightbulbs on his head. "That's it!" he gasped.

Reaching behind the couch, he picked up Bigfoot, the smallest of babies. "THIS, THIS is my MASTERPIECE. My MASTERBABY if you will. BIGFOOT! He is my THIRD oldest son." Zim winked. "And also my last."

Bigfoot looked at Purple once. And then screamed very loudly and pooped his pants. Zim nodded.

Purple choked back a choking sound before skating out of the room. Zim shrugged and shook his head. "Tallest can't handle the poop." he groaned.

Lifting up Bigfoot, he carried him out into the backgarden. "Here you go go clean up." He said, closing the door behind him.

"Well that looks messy. Almost as messy as Irken leadership. Ha! Yes, well. Let's see how things are going up in space. On the Massive."

Dib was walking the Massive down and up with its beeps and boops and fancy things. In the past Dib would have been filled with all full anger but not any more. Now he loved Irkens and Irken things. And speaking of Irken things…

"Hey, you're the Tallest, right?"

"Sure." Red smiled. "And you're the… human, right?" He snorted. "Human, what kind of name is that for a specius?"

"Uhh a pretty good one actually?" Dib sassed. "I've used it all my life."

"Well, that's nice. How old are you?"

"Old enough to be your grandma." Red thought this wasn't true though. He was right. Red nodded.

"Anyhoo, my name's Dib." Dib put a hand on his hip. "Do you… Tallests have names?"

"Well it would be pretty dumb if we didn't." Red was suddenly scared. Had anyone ever said his name? Wait, of course. Purple had. Sometimes. "I'm Red. Just call me anything you want. Whatever's easiest for your human brain."

"Red is a pretty simple name." Dib thought 'for a simple person.' Laughter echoed in circles inside his cavernus head.

"So don't you have a kid or anything? I thought that's what this was all about. I want to see how Irken parenting works because - no offence - I have some ideas for improvement. I mean, me and Zim have been together a long time and -"

Red stopped listening after the first word. And now was looking for his son Green to show Dimb. He was probably playing video games so they both got in an elevator.

"Take us to the video games," Red spoke upwards into the lift. "Umm, OK" came a muffled voice from inside the walls. Voice recogition thought Dib, that's pretty advanced. Little did Dib know… the muffled voice was in fact an Irken drone who operated the pulling of the lift.

The lift started to move upwards slowly. "Can we hurry this up?" Red said. An angry sigh replied to him, but the lift sped up anyway. Red made a mental note to fire this lift. It was bad.

Making it to the video games, Red spotted Green playing a Playspacetion that was coming out of his PAK. Red floated over to him and smiled.

"Hey chump, this is Dib. He's going to be your mum for the day."

"Um, it's two weeks actually," said Green.

"Oh yeah… Well, anyway, that's him." Glancing over to Dib, Red suddenly got a memory. "This is my son, Green."

Dib waved. Wait. "Why is he called Green? His eyes are red… not green."

Red looked really confused. "What… does that have to do with anything?"

"Well, your eyes are red…" Dib rolled a hands, "And your name's Red? Hey, does that mean Zim's eyes are Zim? That's cool." Dib wondered what the colour Zim would look like.

Red put a hand up to his mouth. Wow. This mum was smart. "No… That's not how it works. Green has green skin."

"Don't you… all have green skin?" Dib shouted up to the sky or space.

Red shrugged. "Yeah." Man, was he really named after his eye colour? That was weird…. He wondered if past tallest were named after other body parts. Did he have a spork?

Green went back to his videogames.

Dib smiled at Red. "So, who is Green's mom?"

Red frowned for a time. "Well you know the Purple one? He's Purple. Green is our smeet."

"Wait, so you're both biological parents? Does that make sense? Actually, I thought you guys didn't reproduce, or at least not without robots."

Red looked a gape. "We had our son naturally. Neither of us believe in that kind of … fake baby … thing."

A look of crossed came on Dib's face. "Me and Zim had our babies fake, and they turned out just fine."

Red stopped. Looking over to Green, he asked his son to leave the room. Green sighed and bounced a ball on his way out.

"Look, I don't want you saying those kinds of things around my real son. He's young and impressionable and I don't want him picking up bad habits like smoking or artifical babies and whatever else you… fakers believe in."

Dib got really mad. "WELL WHATS THE POINT OF BEING HERE THEN?"

"Oh my I nearly fell out of my seat! Now I have to get back on it."

"Uh, to learn about culture. REAL culture." Red snorked.

"YOU WILL LEARN A THING OR TWO." Dib had his fisticuffs up. "YOU WILL LEARN THE VALUE OF LIFE, REAL LIFE! ARTIFICIAL OR NOT!"

"Pfft. Sure. But week 1 belongs to me," Red said with a wink. "So I have a week to teach you what having babies the way nature intended can do. Miracles, thats what. Miracles."

"SURE, JUST TRY." Dib punched a wall. Twice. Three times. "IM SO ANGYRY I COULD KILL A MOOSE." He turned around and pointed at Red. "AND I'LL KILL YOU IF YOU INSULT MY CHILDREN AGAIN."

Red blinked. "Ok, just calm down."

"OK." Dib sat down and breathed hard.

"I'm starting to think that by the end of this, we might be missing a Tallest! What a shame!"

"Join us next time to see how Tallest Purple will be handling fake babies. And see how Dib will have to cope with this new religion he has stumbled into."

A/N: i guess thats the way the tumbledryer rolls! :P ps thank you to iamtyping98 for the good review! I hope you continue to enjoy and then I can enjoy your feedback! WOOOO! :) ps: feet without glass are the best kind of foot