Disclaimers: Don't and can't own G Gundam and its characters.
Warnings: A bit of OOC-ness, I think for the characters...but please bear with me...Takes place before Domon goes after Rain in episode I forgot... Gomen, ne? It's been years since G Gundam was shown in my country...
What Was Mine Is
by: sereace
Not too long ago, she was mine.
Everybody knew that.
I had always supposed she knew what I felt, after the time she transferred the data from the Shining to the God Gundam.
I had taken comfort in what I perceived to be a common knowledge, a fact, between us.
That she was mine...and I was hers.
She knew I was not one of eloquent words and enthralling speeches, and I let my actions speak for me...though when I think about it, she's been at the receiving end of most of my...insensitivity.
They said I was too vague about my actions, my words, my feelings towards her, for her to actually be sure of what I feel.
Oh, hell. I wasn't even sure of what I feel until only recently. I was sure I loved her, that I needed her, but that wasn't so painstakingly clear until she left, approximately, what, four, five hours ago?
She was the rational side in our team. She was supposed to know, dammit.
They said it was normal that one would know the importance of the other only when the other has left.
I don't agree.
I knew her importance from the very beginning.
She would be my light, the stability in my life, the one I could call mine.
And she had been.
Only she's not here now...and I doubt she'd be back.
From her words, I'm betting she's condemning me to hell by now...
"Domon."
I looked up to meet France's Gundam Fighter that had gained my absolute, unreserved trust. I nodded, acknowledging his presence, before staring back into the space before me. At the moment, it was the view of the setting sun from the boat she and I had resided...until the recent turn of events.
"Would you mind if I keep you company?" The red head asked, caution in his voice.
I shrugged as I patted the space beside me.
"Thank You." He said, before flopping down with his usual grace and staring in the horizon as well.
Sunsets...sunsets brought memories to me, both good and bad.
One was when I was just a kid, playing tag with my brother and Rain. She was running so fast that she tripped, and scraped her knee. I remember going over to her and helping her up, telling her its going to be okay as Kyoji took her up in his arms and carried him back to our house, where Kaasan tended her wound up. Another was when I left home to go with Master Asia...
"You miss her?"
I closed my eyes as my heart constricted. I don't need anyone to tell me how I feel. I have enough trouble classifying them as it is. So I gave him a usual Domon Kasshu answer.
Silence.
Moments passed, before I heard soft chuckling. I turned to see my companion suppressing the urge to laugh. What now?
"Dammit, Domon. I've known you two for how long now? It doesn't take a genius to find out you're both in love with each other."
I blinked. George de Sand, Gundam Fighter of France, a member of the higher echelons of society, swearing off like...like...Cheebodee?
"If you're in a state of denial, then let me do something to put you out of it." I saw the glint in his eyes as he said that, though I could hardly classify what it was.
I couldn't help myself as I mumbled, "Shoot."
He grinned, almost wryly, before closing his eyes. He took a sharp intake of breath, before starting.
I must say, I was as curious as hell. Anything that could tense this man was something worth looking over.
"I loved Rain. And I think I still do."
I was frozen with shock. He was telling me he loved Rain? My Rain? What the fuck is going on? Eyes narrowed, fists clenching I was going to tell him to get the hell out of my face before I do some serious body harm on him, when he opened his eyes and stared into mine.
"But not as much as you love her."
For the second time, I was caught off guard by a simple statement. Not as much as you love her. I don't know about that, really. All I was sure off was that I love Rain. I would gladly lay my life for her...
"But are you willing to live for her?"
My eyes widened. I didn't know I had spoken aloud. What a time to develop new habits.
"Dying is easy, Domon. It's what's living that's hard. Or even just plain moving on."
"What would you know, George. You never had someone you love taken from you?" I couldn't help it. The story of my life compared to his, I would look like a peasant. Which was what I probably am, now. No brother. No mother. The woman I love was off because of me. My father is occupied with how to fix the Devil Gundam mess.
At that his eyes narrowed. "In case you aren't listening, Domon. I just lost Rain to you."
Another bout of shock, before it dawned upon me. He did lose Rain to me.
She has always been mine...
A split second of indecision, before I decided spilling my guts to the French wouldn't be bad. Misery loves company, right?
"Where is she now, George? You may have lost her to me, but I lost her because of me. Because of my insensitivity. Because I could not put my feelings into words. Because I could not tell her how I felt..." It was too painful to go on...Indeed, temper can put you in trouble, and pride can keep you there.
"Don't throw away something I fought so hard to keep alive, Domon! I loved her! And I probably always will, even though the Princess can fill in the void in my heart." George lashed out, now rising and dusting his pants off imaginary dust.
Every word he said was a knife driven straight at my heart. Was he implying he loves her more than I do? More than I could ever do?
"I'm sorry I ever entrusted her to you, Domon. But it's not too late isn't it? I can still fight for her." He made a move to leave before I grabbed his hand and twisted him to face me. Fists clenched connected with his jaw, and pride surged when I heard a satisfying click of bones against bones.
"What the fuck are you trying to do, George? Make me kill you? So in the end you would be the one holding her affection and me her hate? I love her, and you, or anyone else for that matter, will never surpass anything I feel for her."
The Neo-France fighter pulled himself together, and to say I was surprised when I saw the smirk on his face would be an understatement. "I said, Domon, that I already lost her to you. I would never fight for someone I know who doesn't want me to fight for her. She wants to be with you...It is with you her happiness lies. And as long as she's happy..."
The breath I did not realize I was holding was released. As long as she's happy... I took a step forward, offering a hand. "You really do love her."
He shook his head, grief I could now read in his eyes. "Not as much as you do, Domon. Not nearly as much. But yes, I do love her."
Then he took his leave, again leaving me with my thoughts.
He was right. I knew that. I've always had Rain...and maybe she still wants me, amidst every word she said...
Don't follow me. I don't want to see you again...
It was an impossibility. To not see her again would be hell. I would settle for a glimpse of her just to soothe the ache at the pit of my stomach and the the abyss of my heart. Even just a wisp of her fragrance. A look in her direction. Dammit, anything from her...anything at all...
Before I realized, Hoi, and Min, and everyone from the Shuffle Alliance were gathering by the end of the boat, forming a semi-circle around me. Ojisan was telling something of how missing someone when she's gone...
I took in a deep breath, as I looked above the now velvet black sky. A star flashed in the distance, and I felt my heart skip a beat, before returning to its normal rhythm.
I closed my eyes...Rain...maybe...just maybe, you were lying of what you had said, of you not wanting me to follow...
And maybe George was right.
What was mine is.
Maybe.