-It's Lucy in a Nutshell!-

Chapter 11 – Farewell Party...?

A/N *sob sob* As much as I hate to admit it,...this is the last chapter! *sobs sobs* It's not going to be another nutshell, unfortunately, since I don't have any other cliche to write about. HOWEVER this is like a "behind the scenes" sort of thing – with the actors and the oh-so-pretty Director XD. It's a farewell party with all the actors and me, the director, of course. Don't forget the camera man! I think I'll write the behind the scenes stuff though *winks* There'll also be an ASSISTANT camera man ;3 Look forward to him!

Disclaimer – I do not own Fairy Tail-OHMAIGOD ITS THE CAMERA MAN

Director (*cough cough* Me) POV

We all bowed respectively. "This chapter is the very last chapter of this nutshell. So we're throwing a party – which the camera man will clean up afterwards of course," I announced. The camera man sighed.

"I'm gonna miss working here...then again maybe not," He sweat dropped.

"And now to introduce our very own star, Lucy Heartfilia's actor named...what's her name? Psst what's her name?" I whispered to the camera man. He shrugged. "Well, she doesn't have a name so just call her Lucy. GIVE ET UP FOR LUCEYYYYYY!"

Lucy came out of the curtains behind us, dressed in a very "fabulous" and VERY VERY VERY VERY shiny dress with tons of shiny and shiny and shiny and shiny- *cough* - and even more shiny diamonds on it. "BWAHAHAHAH SCREW THE WORLD!" She gave the middle finger and took off her dress, revealing a banana costume. "I'M A BANANA LOL IT'S A BANANA I'MMA BANANA!" Suddenly she got shot in the head. She fell down, bleeding all over her banana costume.

"...What do we do now?" We all stared at her.

"I say we just go out and get Chinese food." Gray's actor suggested.

"Nah. I say we go get Indian food. And top it off with pistachio ice cream with, of course, mustard and fish sauce." The monster's actor, which was a hot, smexy, eye-whatever-you-call-it guy in a monster outfit, said.

"But then what do we do about her? And the party?" Lisanna poked at Lucy's body with a stick.

"Shouldn't we just poke her? If we do that, all the blood gets out and then like yeah. My logic makes perfect sense." Mira joined Lisanna in poking Lucy's body.

"But we already ordered the food. In fact, the delivery guy should come here in about a second," I looked at the watch on my wrist. Then, the doorbell rang. Yes, there's a doorbell even though it's like a stage/movie building WHATEVER U CALL IT!

"Chinese delivery." The Chinese man held up a bag full of Chinese food.

"COME ON IN~!" I pulled him and threw him over to where everybody else was. He landed in the middle of everyone with an "oomph!".

"Ooh it's Chinese delivery! So we're having a Chinese party or something?" Natsu eyed the food.

"Of course not. It's for Lucy, dur. We're having spicy ice cream cake. DUH!" I rolled my eyes and sat on Lucy's dead body. "CAMERA MAN!" No response. "...Camera man?" Still no response. I looked over to his assistant. "WHERE'S THE CAMERA MAN?" I stared intensely at him. He trembled and shrugged.

"I-I t-think the bathroom..." He replied meekly.

"Tch. Get out the cake!" I ordered. My servants- *cough* I mean, my employees immediately started to lift the HUMONGOUS and obviously gigantic layered and layered cake. On top, was a tiny and small baby-like candle. "Who wants to blow out the candle?" My eyes sparkled.

"OOOO ME ME ME MEMEM MEME MEMEMEMEM ME*coughs and chokes* Ahem, ME ME ME ME EM EM EME MEM EM-HAACKKKK *COUGH COUGH HACK COUGH*" Gray's actor then choked off his spit from saying 'me' too much and eventually died. Spit is mankind's worst enemy. Tsk tsk.

"ME ME ME ME ME ME ME MEMEM EM LOL KAY I'M GOING UP," Lisanna started to climb the humongous cake. Once she reached the top, she was already covered in cake from trying to climb it. She was about to blow out the candle when-

BAM! "BWAHAHAHHA IT IS ME! I BARELY GET ANY SCREEN TIME BITCHES!" A nude and naked Makarov (except for a birthday hat on for some reason) sprung out of the top of the cake, knocking over the candle.

"MY EYESS! THE CAKE IS TAINTED! MY EYES ARE BURNING! THEY'RE MELTING! HELLLPPP MEEEE!" Lisanna cried out as her eyeballs melted into liquid. She fell back and landed on the floor with a thud. I blinked.

"I got some epic powers here cause I'm the director, so let me handle this," I nodded and pushed up imaginary glasses smartly. I put my hands over Lisanna's eyes and started muttering random words. "Heal Lisanna's eyes, Heal Lisanna's eyes, Heel...heel banana peel pie banana pie orange poop lolabutterfly omaigodrandomwords bird, Natsu, Pinky, lolrandompunwaitthatwasntevenapunmaibad, pie, TOASTTT ewitsMakarovnakedmyeyesrburningtoo, oooabutterfly plum, orange, pie, banana, butterfly, SKREEEEESPIDER, DIESPIDER okaynowtoheallisannaeyes.." I finished the chant, Lisanna's eyes coming back to life.

"I ISH BACK BITCHESSS! WHEN LIFE GIVES U ORANGES U THROW THEM BACK AND SAY 'SCREW THIS I EATING A BANANA BEE-OTCH!' BWAHAH" Lisanna yelled and gave Life the middle finger. Life sulked in the corner.

"BATHE IN MY NAKED GLORY!" Makarov started to shine very brightly.

"DON'T LOOK AT HIM!" I screamed and shielded my eyes.

"Whistle whistle~! What's going on-OMAIGOD MY EYES OH GOD MAKAROV GET THE HELL OUT OF THAT CAKE!" The camera man started to happily walk from the bathroom when he noticed Makarov's nude form.

"CAMERA MAN~! GET THE REMOTE CONTROL! NOWWW!" I yelled.

"YES SIR-ERR MA'AM!" He yelled back and picked up one of the many 100 remote controls I owned.

"TAKE DIS MAKAROV!" I yelled and pressed the big red button. Nothing happened.

BOOM! The cake exploded and splattered all of its cake-ness onto us. "Whew. Camera man, do your stealthness or whatever you do to secretly kill people and do that to Makarov." I ordered. I heard him sigh and walk over to Makarov.

"Sorry man. But orders are orders," The camera man shrugged and stabbed him. He then dragged him outside so that the trash pick-up guy can put him in the dumpster because Makarov was too disgusting naked that he can't be put in the cemetery.

"So...about the Chinese food..."The camera man started when suddenly he saw Natsu and the other actors eating it. "WHA?! What about my share?!" He exclaimed

I shrugged and pointed to the bits and pieces of cake on the floor. "You can have that," I shrugged, chewing some chow mein or however you spell it. Suddenly Lucy came back to life.

"I'M BACK! IN THIS FREAKING AWESOME BANANA SUIT!" Lucy yelled. I sweat dropped.

"Somebody order a hazardous baby?" A vulture came out of nowhere carrying a large science-looking tank. Inside was a mutated frog/horse/human/ant/griffin/bird/cat/spider/butte rfly/dragon/zebra baby underwater.

"OH! I did!" The Chinese delivery guy said. You didn't think I forgot about him, did you? HOHOHOHOHO.

"Kay that'll be $123,456,789. Just sign here, and here and here," The vulture handed him a clipboard and a pen. The Chinese delivery man nodded and signed. The vulture dropped the tank and left.

"SO THAT'S WHERE THEY COME FROM!" I exclaimed. They all looked at me oddly. "What?" I looked back at them.

"You seriously didn't know that was true? Gosh you need to study more. You're the director for goodness sake," Natsu sighed and shook his head at me.

"KAY LETS DANCE LOL Dis is like a party right we need to dance," Lisanna pointed out and started dancing. Soon, everyone was dancing – weirdly. There was a Mexican band playing and everyone was doing the Waltz or breakdancing. Some people were even doing the tango. I didn't dance of course. The camera man was instead doing my nails.

"Purple now," I ordered him as he switched nail polish. "While you're at it, bring me that humongous remote control over there." I pointed to the humongous remote control that was about as big as the cake.

"Uh how am I supposed to bring that?" He asked, sweat dropping.

"Good point. Come with me." I hopped off my Director's chair and dragged him , literally, over to the remote control. "So like we just get this bazooka," I whipped a bazooka out from my pocket," and fire." I fired it at the big shiny red button in the middle.

"ARE YOU SETTING OFF A WORLD BOMB OR SOMETHING WOMAN?!" He yelled at me. I shrugged.

"It's fireworks."

"...Say what now?" He sweat dropped. Then there was fireworks exploding over everyone dancing. Some got hit by the fireworks, dying. Other people still danced anyway.

"PRETTY FIREWORKS~! Not as purdy as flowers though," Minerva clapped and jumped up and down in chibi form. Suddenly she got blasted by one.

"Oops. My bad. Eh, she'll live," I shrugged. "Kay kay, hand me that remote control with the blue button right there," I ordered him. He sighed and brought it over to me.

"Kay kay, this is a bomb. Ya know what a bomb ish right? So like anyway, it explodes everyone over there but it lets out some pretty light! You like HAVE GOT TO SEE DIS!" I explained to him. He nodded.

"...That means we won't have any more actors though."

"They'll live. They can't die from just being killed, psh." I smirked at my logic and pressed the blue button. BOOM! Everybody dancing, including the Mexican band and the Chinese delivery guy, exploded. Fortunately for us, we got to see pretty fireworks.

"See?! ISN'T IT SO PRETTTYYY!?"

"...I'm going to clean this up aren't I?"

"Damn straight. Go get to work." I rolled my eyes. I sat in my director's chair and sighed. "Well, I'm gonna need to hire more actors. ASSISTANT CAMERA MAN! Get some people ready for next time," I ordered. The assistant camera man nodded and ran out the door. "Well! At least there's going to be more fun next time," I clapped and walked away.

UWAHHH It's not necessarily a party at all, but hey, this isn't exactly a normal story XD I cursed Life for giving us the gift of Imagination...oh god Makarov nude *shivers* I regret writing that.. If you want a spin-off story for "behind-the-scenes" just tell me! That's why I left the "next time" there just in case *winks* XD Idk if I'll manage tho :p

~Kitsune-Dark-Knight