all I want is a moment with you

for Renae :)

~ Said no more countin' dollars
We'll be counting stars, yeah we'll be counting stars ~

Tony had always been smart, even as a six-year-old. He notices things around him that other kids wouldn't pay attention to. He asks the right questions, even if he doesn't always get answers. He knows who his father is - sees how people talk to him and look at him - understands to some extent how important Howard Stark is. He looks up to him, imitates him as much as he can - does all he can for his adoring actions to be noticed.

(So why aren't they?)

His father always has expectations. He wants Tony to be smart, and confident, and respectful (just like him) but... he's never around to praise him when Tony gets it right, and he doesn't correct Tony so much as tell him off then dismiss him so he can focus on his projects. It stings. Of course it does. But it also makes Tony try harder because he doesn't give up, Starks never give up, and all he really wants is one look - just one look of appreciation and pride.

(Why is it so hard?)

So he takes a chance. Today is one of those rare weekends when his dad's at home, for once not working endlessly and tirelessly on a project - just tinkering with some odds and ends in his lab. He doesn't say a word as Tony follows him down there - hasn't brushed off his questions as he perches up on a stool to watch his father work avidly.

It's a good day. Rare, but treasured.

(Why aren't there more days like this?)

Tony never likes being kicked out of the lab - he wants to watch him work and learn everything from him, because no-one else answers his questions like his daddy does (the rare times that he gives an answer) - Mommy doesn't always understand what he's talking about and Obie doesn't know everything like Daddy does. He doesn't always give Tony all his attention - hardly does - and while Tony loves being able to watch him work, sometimes... sometimes he wants more.

"Daddy," Tony says, kicking his legs back and forth.

"Hm?" Howard doesn't look up as he pulls on a wrench tightly.

"How much money do you get in one hour?"

That catches his attention. His father looks at him in surprise, then grins just a little bit at the pure, innocent blink he gets in return. "Bit more than you can count, son."

Tony frowns at that. He can count really high, taught himself ages ago. "Tha's a lot," he muses.

"Sure is," his dad grunts, resuming his work as he twists a cork in place and reaches over for a water bottle. "What brought this on?" he asks absently, glancing between his papers and his work.

Tony shrugs silently, watches his swinging legs for a moment before speaking up again. "Can I have half?"

The senior Stark turns wide brown eyes - so similar to his son's - to him, incredulous yet curious. "Tony - you want half of what I earn in an hour?"

"Yes, please?" Tony's eyes widen just a little bit, his lips forming a pout that Howard Stark, on a good day, can never turn down.

It works, and he bounds out of the lab happily with the money, his daddy's puzzled stare following him all the way - but then his work catches his attention again, and his little son's eccentricities make way for formulas and calculations until the moment is all but forgotten.

-x-

It takes Tony two weeks and quite a lot of help from Obie, who always indulges him in his ideas, and the selling of some very valuable things, but eventually Tony has everything he needs.

Unfortunately, as good a time as it has been for Tony, it's been a horrible one for the elder Stark. One of Howard's projects had to be disbanded and he's taken to locking himself down in his lab as he struggles through with fixing up the project when he's at home, which is rare enough. Tony's mother is busy with her upcoming charity ball and whenever Tony tries to get her attention it's always "That's nice, Tony" or "Not now, Tony" or "You can show Obie, honey, I'm busy".

But really he wants his daddy to acknowledge what he's done, and he has ideas and questions that only he can answer and he just wants Howard to look at his work and smile at him proudly and tell him what a great job he's done - not that Tony's wasting his time, that he's too busy and that Tony needs to keep working on it if he ever hopes to be good enough to run the business.

The same business that gets his daddy lots of money, and Tony knows it's why he's always so busy and never has any free time. (Or maybe Tony's not worth his time?) So... he earns it.

Howard looks up as Tony plants himself firmly in front of his workbench, a sharp tell-off on the tip of his tongue. Tony doesn't give it a chance to make it out, as he digs a hand into his pocket and pulls out a wad of carefully-stacked cash, placing it on the bench silently.

"What's this?" Howard asks impatiently, his hands slowly putting down the equipment he was holding.

Tony takes a breath and makes sure he's standing straight, shoulders squared, and meets his dad's eyes firmly. (Be smart, be confident, be respectful, is it good enough?) "'S one hour's worth of what you earn," he says carefully, having gone over the words with Obie earlier and wanting (wanting so badly) so get this right.

His father's eyebrows scrunch up together but he doesn't look angry anymore, so Tony relaxes just a little bit and adds, earnest as ever, "Daddy, can I have one hour of your time?"

Any irritation in Howard Stark's eyes melts away in face of his six-year-old's sincerity and he runs a hand over the money. "You raised this all by yourself, huh?"

Tony hesitates, then nods. "But Obie... Obie had to help me with some stuff."

He watches, now anxious, as his dad nods thoughtfully, before raising fond eyes to his son, a sad smile lifting the corners of his lips. Tony smiles back, hesitantly at first, but it grows when his daddy glances at his work then decidedly pushes it aside. He rounds the workbench and holds out his hand which Tony takes eagerly in his own small one. His father then grabs the money off the bench and glances down at his beaming son with a little, yet warm, smile.

"What do you say to a little trip? My treat," he says teasingly, waving the cash.

Tony laughs and nods, almost bouncing as he follows him out.

They spend the next hour not as the well-known Howard Stark and his prodigal son, but as a little boy and his daddy. Howard is more carefree than he has been in a long while, and Tony has never been more satisfied.

It doesn't last, of course. Over the course of a few weeks, things are back to normal. (Is it normal if it's not entirely happy?) Howard is too invested in his work to leave it for too long, and complications and problems are always arising, but Tony tries to hold onto that day like a lifeline. He remembers it when he messes up a little invention and faces his father's disappointment, or when the words "Not good enough" and "Try harder next time" are all he gets for his troubles.

Eventually, it fades with years of anger and hurt and being pushed and pushed until he isn't even sure anymore what exactly Howard wants from him, when nothing seems to satisfy him.

(Will it ever be good enough?)

But still... there's always that little reminder, a brief bright moment that lingers, that might have just meant "I'm so proud of you; I love you", even though the memory has all but vanished.

It's not enough, but... it's there.

A/N: *huggles Tony and refuses to let go ever*

*waves* hai :3 Rei thank you for the prompt I has now been melted by wittle Tony lookit him d'aw but he was like so bwoken and aw poor baby. *flails*

xP Hope you liked this... not sure what you had in mind when you gave me the idea but, yeah, this is what I made of it. I, uh, couldn't make Howard be not-nice. It didn't work. And I felt mean. 'Cause Tony.

Totally wouldn't mind reviews, they are absolute and total love, after all. :P And how can you deny this *shoves Tony-puppy-eyes in front of your face* yeah, yeah I thought so, you just can't.

Oh, right, lyrcis at the top are from OneRepublic's song Counting Stars from their new Native album. So amazing. :D

Cheers~ :)

iz.