Blaine had messed up. It was still kind of the beginning of their relationship, and they had talked about this. They had SO many talks about everything, filled with Kurt blushing deeply and Blaine trying to make him feel comfortable. They had just barely said they loved each other two weeks ago. So Blaine had no idea what came over him, he gritted his teeth and placed his head on the steering wheel. This was all his fault and now Kurt was going to break up with him.
"Hi," Blaine was greeted by Kurt at his front door. School was out for the day and ever since Kurt had transferred back to McKinley, they met every Thursday after Warbler practice for Blaine and glee for Kurt to get together and study. Kurt leaned in and kissed him eagerly. After a few moments Kurt pulled away his cheeks red and flustered. "You look nice. I like it when you're not always in your Dalton uniform." Kurt said approving of Blaine's outfit of a white polo shirt and red capri pants.
"I like how I can just kiss you now." Blaine said while he looked at the ground briefly. Kurt smiled back at him, "Me too."
"And…I like how I can say I love you whenever I want too." He laced his fingers through Kurt's. "I love you." He smiled tenderly. Silence swept over them for a moment and then Kurt squeezed his hand. "C'mon lets study," He paused for a moment on the stairs. "I love you too." He said as he dragged Blaine up the stairs. "Sorry I'm not used to saying it out loud yet, before I always wanted to but I never had the right time."
Blaine set his bag on the floor and hopped on the bed crossed legged. "I forgot to tell you; since you left Dalton the headmaster is involved in this huge political sex scandal."
Kurt picked up his bag setting it on the chair; he grabbed some of his books and set them in between them as he sat down letting his knees knock gently against Blaine's. He clapped his hands, "Spill! You know I love a good story!"
They talked for a while and then got into studying. Kurt helped Blaine with his French and Blaine with Kurt's history class. They talked and laughed and just felt comfortable with each other. After a while Blaine got bored staring at the overflowing amount of French verbs from his textbook. His eyes started to wander around the room. It was so Kurt, so clean, unique and safe.
Blaine looked over at Kurt who was intently erasing his homework and biting on his lip in concentration. His jaw clenched as he looked at his homework and sighed quietly to himself. Blaine took note of Kurt's arms as well. It was going on the last weeks of school and the weather was warmer, so Kurt had on a black short sleeve button up and it was tight. His arms looked large and strong and Blaine just wanted to be wrapped up in them.
His stomach coiled slightly. It wasn't like he didn't think of Kurt in that way. He had never told Kurt that he masturbated not that he was ashamed of it, it just never came up. Okay that was the wrong choice of words but Blaine had no problem pretending it was Kurt's hand wrapped around himself instead of his own. His stomach coiled tighter at the thought. He tried to concentrate on his homework. "I want to kiss you again." Kurt blurted out instead and then pressed both of his lips together in a tight line watching for Blaine's reaction.
"Can you read my mind?" Blaine chuckled placing his hand on Kurt's check. "I was thinking the same thing."
Kurt's ears reddened a bit as he smiled slightly.
Blaine waited for a moment, "You don't have to ask…to kiss me. You can just you know do it."
Kurt nodded and let the space between their lips close. He kissed Blaine deeply sucking softly on his bottom lip. His hands found themselves in Blaine hair. It was warm both outside and in Kurt's room, so the sweat loosened Blaine curls just a little in the back making his hair softer and letting Kurt's fingers have easy access to run through it. It always excited Blaine when he felt Kurt's nails run slightly against the nape of his neck. When Kurt would run his fingers up through his hair, his nails raked through the tighter curls and it made Blaine's body feel electrified. If this is what it felt like when Kurt ran his fingers through his HAIR, Blaine couldn't imagine what it would feel like when his fingers ran across somewhere else.
Kurt slipped his tongue in Blaine's mouth and made a little noise. He was always making little sighs and moans when they made out and it drove Blaine crazy. He wanted to kiss Kurt deeper and hear the noises louder. Blaine shifted so he could lean Kurt back against the bed. Now Blaine hovered over him deepening the kiss.
It wasn't like they hadn't kissed or made out before, but only recently had it progressed to a more vertical position. Blaine always made sure to keep a distance between them but today something felt different. Blaine testing lowered his body down onto Kurt so there was no space. If Kurt protested he would move away no problem. So Blaine slowed his kissing but didn't completely stop. He wanted to see how Kurt would react to this new step. But the only response he got was Kurt urging his lips firmer onto Blaine's.
Blaine groaned this time, louder than usual as he met Kurt's urgency. The thought of the only thing separating them was these clothes, that seemed almost paper thin killed him.
That's when he felt it for the first time, Kurt was hard. Blaine could feel it against his thigh. Things always stopped before they got to that point or there was the distance factor, so they had never felt each other like that and Kurt wasn't stopping it. In fact Kurt's hips tentatively pushed UP against Blaine's. Blaine felt a new level of heat soar in the room; he detached himself from Kurt's lips and kissed his neck feverishly. He sucked and kissed Kurt's neck with a new intensity. It was like if his lips weren't against Kurt's skin at all times he would die. Kurt moaned and Blaine could feel his head sink back in the pillows above him. Blaine's hands worked quickly at the buttons of Kurt's shirt. This was new, they had never been shirtless before and normally Blaine would ask but something in him clouded over. He never wanted Kurt more in that moment than ever before.
His hands and brain didn't connect as he got to the second button on Kurt's shirt, he kissed into Kurt' neck again as he did. Blaine had about four more buttons left as he fidgeted with the third one. He met his lips to Kurt's kissing him lightly. Blaine kissed under his chin and worked on another button of the shirt. He whispered in his ear. "I love you."
Suddenly Kurt pushed up on Blaine and Blaine sat back with a puzzled look on his face. Kurt moved from underneath him standing up and rebuttoning his shirt.
"Wait? What's wrong?" Blaine sat back on his knees.
"I don't want to have sex!" Kurt turned to him clearly upset.
"I wasn't…we don't have to have sex Kurt…I thought you wanted…."
"Your…aroused…and I am too…and I just don't want do that!"
"Okay that's fine. We can just study again." Blaine looked at Kurt who was on the verge of tears.
"No I want you to leave." Kurt sniffed.
"Why?!" Blaine shook his head. "I'm not upset weren't having sex…"
"Well I am! Just leave okay."
"Kurt you're clearly upset, we can talk about it."
"Stop. I don't want to talk about it. Just…I need you to go okay."
Blaine stood up off the bed and gathered his stuff, as he headed down the stairs he was in disbelief. What had just happened?
He sat in his car in the Hummel driveway for about fifteen minutes. Had he moved to fast? He didn't ask Kurt if it was okay that things got that heated. He put his head on the steering wheel trying not to cry when he heard a knock at the passenger window. He looked up and saw Kurt who motioned for him to unlock the door. Blaine let him in and Kurt sat in the passenger seat. They both sat silently until Kurt cleared his throat.
"I knew you weren't going to leave unless I came outside." He said.
"I would have left eventually, not for a while though." Blaine paused. "Kurt? What happened?" Blaine looked at him. "Because I don't ever want to pressure you and I know we haven't even done anything like that before. I don't want you to break up with me because of it and I really do love you, I wasn't saying that just to have sex. I don't want you to think that. It was just in the moment and it felt like the right thing to say… I'm sorry I was an idiot and…."
"I'm not breaking up with you. I got…I got scared okay." Kurt looked at his hands in his lap. "It's just we were both…um….aroused and it felt good, really good and you were taking off my shirt and I just froze. Because I know YOU'RE ready to do that and I thought I was but I'm not. I didn't want you to think I was a tease or something…"
Blaine interrupted him, "Are you ready to have sex Kurt?"
Kurt looked at him with wide eyes, "Umm no…not yet."
"Then I'm not ready either. Plain and simple, if you're not ready then I'm not ready."
Kurt felt the corners of his mouth rise up, "I love you. God I'm in love with you, falling in love with you. I can't describe it sometimes. I just…FEEL it..." Kurt said.
Blaine was the one who blushed this time, "I love you too." He grabbed Kurt's hands, "Let's establish some rules."
"Rules?"
"Yeah, I want you to feel comfortable Kurt. Let's keep it above the waist for now okay?"
"Yeah, I like that and I know us umm…" Kurt flushed red. "Grinded…and it was my idea…but I…um…it got…intense when we did that. So I'd rather just wait on that…for a while. If we do that more often I might not be able to stop." Kurt looked away, he hated how embarrassed he got over this.
Blaine didn't want to show his disappointment but Kurt could see it. "But shirtless is okay." Kurt nodded at him. "Like next time if we both were? I want to umm…feel your chest."
Blaine tried to hide his own blushing, "I want to feel yours too." He always was mesmerized by the smoothness and firmness of Kurt's chest and lying against it naked from the waist up was something he would DEFINANTLY look forward to.
"Okay. Let's go inside and study. My dad will be home soon and I think his mind will wander if he sees us in the driveway in your car with the windows fogged up." Kurt opened the door and Blaine followed him into the house to study. Blaine was falling in love with Kurt and it didn't matter how long it took, he could wait the rest of his life.