Harry and Voldemort: The Final Battle

"This has gone on long enough, Potter." Voldemort's ugly snake face had glinted in the moon light. "It's time to dispose of you."

The students of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry had gathered around the two adversaries. This was it: the final battle.

If Harry defeated Voldemort, the world would be saved.

If Voldemort defeated Harry, the world would suffer.

"Let's play a game, shall we?" Voldemort had smiled.

Harry's hands were sweating, in fear. Voldemort unleashed a barrage of spells that Harry barely managed to fend off. He shot a spell back and Voldemort dodged it with ease.

It was nearly over. If Harry didn't fight better, he'd be killed.

Harry shot spell after spell at Voldemort. Voldemort was hit and he roared in anger. Harry had him now! He shot another spell…and another. Voldemort screamed in frustration. Harry, hands shaking, afraid he would still lose, sent several more spells at Voldemort.

Voldemort was dead.

Voldemort's character slumped dead on the TV screen that had been rolled outside.

"No!" he shrieked. Voldemort glared at the screen, seething.

Harry set the PS3 controller down, shaking a bit. He had won and he had thought he would lose and all would be over.

"I won the game," said Harry. "It was your suggestion. Now remember our agreement."

Voldemort threw his controller at the TV screen. It hit with a crack and then fell to the ground. The screen was broken now. Voldemort got up and stomped over to the PS3, and a hit a button. The disk slid out. Voldemort snatched it and snapped it half, threw the halves on the ground, and then proceeded to stamp on them.

"It's not fair! Not fair! Not fair! Not fair!" Voldemort screamed, still jumping on the pieces.

The gathered group of students and teachers watched with bated breath.

"Remember our agreement?" Harry asked, raising an eyebrow.

Voldemort huffed a breath out through his slit nostrils and adjusted his robes. "I demand a rematch! This time with the Lego version of Harry Potter!"

"No, you said one chance to play," argued Harry. "Now, our agreement?"

Voldemort kicked the pieces of the video game across the grass. "Yes."

"You stop being an evil git."

"Yes."

"And you leave the wizard world and Muggle world alone."

"Yes."

"And you get yourself into a good college and do something productive with your life."

"Yes," mumbled Voldemort.

"And the Death Eaters have to leave everyone alone as well and go to a college as well and get a proper job as well. No more killing people. They have to be productive and do something good with their lives as well." Harry looked at Voldemort.

"Yes, yes, yes," snapped Voldemort.

"Good," said Harry. "Well, you can go talk to one of the teachers; she'll give you a list of some good colleges."

Voldemort slunk away and toward McGonagall, who had a list of online colleges that would fit into his schedule.

"Now this one has night classes," Harry could hear McGonagall explaining to Voldemort. "And you can get a four year degree in business at this one."

Harry sighed happily and unplugged the PS3 from the TV. Good thing he'd practiced playing video games a lot. One wrong pushed button on the controller, and Voldemort would have beaten him and the world would have been under his rule.

Voldemort came slinking back to Harry.

"I picked a college," said Voldemort.

"Good," said Harry. "Now you remember the last part of our agreement?"

Voldemort shifted, embarrassed. "No."

"Yes, you do!" Harry put his hands on his hips. "Come on. You can't back out now."

Voldemort groaned. "Fine!"

The happy students and teachers lined up one either side of the main entrance to Hogwarts, spilling out across the grounds, heads turned to the door. Harry, standing to the side of the door looked in.

"Ready?"

"No."

"Come on, we made a deal."

"Fine, yes, I know. Just shut up!"

Harry waved his arm and the crowd stirred.

Voldemort came running out of the school, butt ass naked, his underwear on his head. The crowds shrieked and laughed and pointed gleefully while Voldemort, red faced, and regretting the deal he'd made, streaked, white butt cheeks flashing, toward the Forbidden Forest.

Voldemort's rule was over and he'd paid for it!

That was an idea I had one night. I figured it'd be funny if Harry and Voldemort used a Harry Potter video game to duke it out, instead of actually trying to kill each other.