Timeline: Canon until Echo for the most part.

The Road Back

Oliver downed another shot as he stared at his reflection in the bar mirror. It had been a long couple of months, making himself disappear, making him seem worthless in the eyes of the people he was closest to. In a way, he wanted them to... because what kind of hero does what he did?

He brought an innocent guy into the crosshairs of danger and it cost Jimmy his life. Even as the days went by, the guilt wouldn't wash off his face or in the way he walked. He was a man destroyed, if there was any man left in there. These days consisted of alcohol and consequent hangovers and not much else, which had done a number on Oliver. But all that almost felt like nothing compared to the person he saw across the bar, a familiar face that he never expected to see here.

Oliver had gotten used to seeing dark circles under her eyes, usually from a lack of sleep, but Chloe's eyes looked much worse now, even when compared to her expression at the funeral. That day, Oliver had stood rows back, letting the guilt he felt in himself prevent him from asking how she was. Jimmy was her husband once and she had watched him die in her arms, yet Oliver never once asked her how she was holding up. That was because Oliver had no intention of seeing Chloe Sullivan again, but that was no longer possible.

Although he had to admit, Oliver figured that there would be someone here for her after the funeral. But considering he had lost touch with the team, with everyone, it appeared that he was wrong. So when she continued to swirl her drink with a lost expression, Oliver looked towards the bartender and asked what she was drinking. His response led Oliver to smirk, as it appeared that they had similar poisons. Ordering two glasses, he approached her table, afraid of the reaction he'd receive when she saw him again.

~0~

Chloe sighed as she stared at her glass, reminded of how her life weirdly reflected the emptiness of it. Her whole life was a mess and yet she pressed on, wondering what good it was anymore. Regardless of whether she drove back to the Talon to be with Lois or slept in Watchtower, her life felt quiet, lonely, distant.

In her own way, she had kept tabs on everyone, but Chloe was beginning to doubt that too. What was the point of keeping an eye on someone who wanted nothing to do with her anymore? No phone calls, emails, definitely no face-to-face time. But she couldn't give up, which is why she sent out an email to everyone today, or rather, almost everyone. One of the exceptions stood in front of her now, his expression contradicting the emphasis he placed the glass on the table, causing the table to shake under it.

It had been a long time since she had seen Oliver, aside from the profile look she stole a half hour ago. She thought about talking to him, but Emil had made it clear that he didn't want to be found, so she figured that she was respecting his wishes. Especially after the stunt he pulled last week and the fact that he was still in places like this and pushing liquor down his throat. So Chloe narrowed her eyes, wondering what was on Oliver's mind, leading to him sliding the glass closer to her.

"I'm not following you," she said softly, and for once, it was actually the truth. Chloe didn't believe much in coincidences, but this time... maybe this was the exception.

"What, no thank you?" Oliver asked dryly, slumping in the chair across her, causing Chloe to roll her eyes.

At this point, she didn't know what his angle was here, so she obliged him, grabbing the glass, tipping it up slightly. "Thanks," she said half-heartedly.

And that's when Oliver saw it, the coldness in her stare, the stiffness in her grip. This was far from the Chloe he had left behind. "How are you?"

She sighed as she took a small sip of the scotch, allowing the smooth liquid to burn down her throat. "Not much better than you."

"Clearly," Oliver replied, as he could have told her that much, but the blunt honesty almost felt unexpected. "Never pictured you as a drinker."

She tipped her glass towards her, causing the scotch to trail up the glass before she set it back on the table. "Well, I never I pictured as a guy who runs away when things get bad."

Oliver laughed dryly at that comment. "Point taken."

"Is it?"

There was a silence that lingered between them as they exchanged drinks from their respective glasses. At one point, they were friends, teammates, but now they were distant people sitting across from each other at a table, lost in events that transpired months ago.

Giving up, Oliver stood up and whispered, "I'm sorry," as he walked away.

Still staring at her glass, she said back, "For what?"

His back facing her, he felt his head drop. "For Jimmy, for my lack of communication, for..." Oliver let his voice trail as he realized that the list of his recent screw-ups was longer than he wanted to admit out loud.

Besides, even Oliver knew that wasn't going to be enough. Sure, the apology was nice, but words weren't going to fix any of this. Pulling her chair back, Chloe scoffed at him. "And walking away is supposed to make it better? It didn't before."

He swallowed hard as the latter sentence dug deep, although that was its intention. "I figured that was what you wanted." If nothing else, based on how she was acting around him right now, Oliver didn't feel welcome anymore.

Only Chloe wasn't talking about their present situation. "Yes, I wanted everyone I cared about to leave." Pushing her chair even further back, she bolted out of it and slammed her hands on the table, knowing how she wanted nothing more than to say that she needed the team, even just one member after that day. Instead, it felt like all of her attempts at communicating were going into this black hole. "I lost every shred of myself after that funeral, yet somehow I'm the one who is trying to keep it going."

Looking up, Chloe realized that she had brought too much attention to herself, as most of the bar patrons were staring at her. One of those people was Oliver, but Chloe knew she had to wrap this up. "In the end, it doesn't matter what I want... it never did." Slipping her arms through her coat, Chloe felt grateful that she wouldn't have to walk around him to get out. Picking up her purse, she took note of Oliver's gaze at her, but a look wasn't going to change the fact that Oliver had no intention of coming back, so Chloe had no choice.

"Goodbye Oliver."

She immediately whirled around and took off, not wanting to look at him anymore. It was too hard to watch him throw his life away like this. The only reason tears didn't fall was because of the way the cold wind blew against her skin, which was enough for Chloe to snap out of her solemn mood. But as she continued down the block, Chloe heard the faint sound of footsteps behind her, so she reached inside her bag, ready to strike if whoever was following her came too close.

"That's not true."

Chloe paused in her action, wondering what Oliver was doing right now. But no matter how noble his words seemed, his actions proved otherwise. "The team's MIA, you're practically living out of the gutter, Lois is too busy trying to track down Clark, who is still doing the solo act. Watchtower's all I have, and with no team... even that feels pretty pointless."

Oliver just stared at her, noticing how her hand hadn't left her bag yet. He thought about catching her off-guard, but getting tazered wasn't on his bucket list. So he waited patiently for Chloe to finally turn around, when she added, "How do you live like this? There has to be some reason you find life's solutions in a glass of scotch."

"It dulls the pain."

"Oliver... you're still here."

"And so are you."

She scoffed, as she felt like some of her frustration was justified and she continued to work towards appeasing what she had done. "One word from you and the guys would come back online, but instead you're here."

"Maybe I'm not the leader you think I am."

Chloe shook her head, as she was in slight disbelief of the words she was about to say. "We were friends Oliver, that means that I know how much you mean to those guys. We all made our mistakes in this, but you're a fighter and you have to get past this."

He felt flattered by most of her words, but Oliver couldn't fully address them without asking about one particular word choice first. "We were friends?"

After reaching back into her bag, Chloe held up his phone. It was embarrassing that she held onto it like this, but she was glad to have it now. "I figured this was your way of signing off to the world. Clark tells it to my face, but you...go radio silent."

Biting her tongue, Chloe felt conflicted as the sound of the wind covered the silence in the air. Tonight proved there was still a small amount of fight left in him, but Chloe couldn't back a true transformation on a spark, as they can fade just as easily as they catch fire. "You are that leader, Oliver, even now I know that hero still lives inside of you. If you decide to remember that, you know where to find me." It seemed doubtful, but despite her earlier actions, it was a lot harder to give up on Oliver than she thought.

As Chloe turned away, Oliver stopped her by grabbing her hand. She was about to ask what he was doing when she felt him lift her fingers away from the phone and take it from her. With a grin, he turned around and began to walk away.

~0~

It was just a phone. One he had trashed months ago, so why couldn't Oliver stop staring at it?

Better question was why Chloe didn't delete all of her voicemails or her attempted calls to this number? Was it a reminder of his incompetence? An easy reminder to keep moving forward?

Regardless, as Oliver scrolled through each call, he could see just how genuine Chloe's words were. With each syllable he heard on his voicemail, his guilt built up, along with his realization that he had been selfish this entire time, especially with the past few weeks. Everyone told him that he was better than this, so why couldn't he see it? Heck, even Clark tried to stop Oliver from spiraling out of control, so he figured that the two friends were still in contact, and the fact that was no longer the case only intensified Oliver's frustration.

Staring down at the glass he had filled upon returning home, he picked it up suddenly and threw it hard against the wall, watching as the pieces fell to the floor, and as the liquid trailed down the wall, Chloe's words came back to him.

How do you live like this? There has to be some reason you find life's solutions in a glass of scotch.

Oliver's response had been true, as it did dull the pain, but he never had someone that he could just come clean about his problems. But now as he looked down at the phone again, Oliver realized that he had pushed away someone that could have helped him, as being with Chloe could have pushed him out of his self-pity a lot sooner.

Others had tried, but Clark wasn't the person to deliver the message and Tess only needed the superficial aspects of him. Chloe, on the other hand, wanted him back, and even after he gave her every reason to doubt him, she wanted to believe in him. Then again, convincing her that belief was justified would not be an easy task.

Regardless, Oliver found himself dialling her number, not surprised to listen to the four empty dial tones and the slightly defeated tone for her voicemail message.

The beep went and Oliver felt himself sigh as he sunk down on the couch. "Okay, I deserve this," he said honestly, knowing how much effort Chloe had put into this. "But on the off-chance that you do listen to this message, just know that I'm really sorry."

Opening his eyes, Oliver turned himself towards the room where he kept his gear, a place that he had been avoiding for months now. "Is it what you want to hear? Will it help? Probably not." After all, actions spoke louder than words and if Chloe had a clue about all the stuff Oliver had done, his credibility with her would be shot. "But it's all I have."

Standing up again, it wasn't long before Oliver pulled back the entrance of the room, noticing its state of disarray, just like the overall air of his life. As he leaned down to pick up his glasses that he had thrown aside before leaving the clocktower to burn his uniform, Oliver was reminded of how he thought he was done. And all this time, he thought that he meant it.

As he knelt there, flashbacks of the past few weeks began in Oliver's mind, causing him to grip the phone tighter, to take a deep breath to keep himself in check. "I'm... I'm so sorry," he repeated before ending the call.

Sera's Scribbles: There's a very high probability that I'm posting this way too early... and that I'm overloading on early Season 9 AU stuff... but this was a graveyard piece that I've revived recently and so I don't abandon it again... I'm posting it. Here's hoping I made the right call.