A/N: I LOVED last night's episode and it was so hilarious with the Nick/Jess penis confusion I just couldn't help but write a little add on to the episode.
Just a little oneshot to tide everyone over for 3 weeks! Eeek but hopefully then we will be rewarded with real Nick & Jess action.
I'm still working on ch3 for Really Something, will be up asap. I promise!
Jess let out a tired sigh as she continued to rip and pull the seemingly never ending series of banners and streamers and garlands from the walls of the loft, maybe she had gone a little overboard but she wanted everything to be perfect for CeCe. Despite the evening not quite being the dirty party they had always envisioned Jess was so pleased things had worked out for CeCe. And now they had a wedding to look forward to and Jess was Maid of Honour! It was all so exciting.
Jess grabbed another trash bag and started chucking all the used plates, cups and half eaten food inside, if Jess had thought she had maybe overdone the decorations she was convinced she had overdone it on the food. Jess hadn't really thought about the fact that most of the guests at the party were models, as she surveyed the scene before her she noted they had gone through a hell of a lot of vodka and lettuce but Jess's cupcakes and trays of hot dogs remained virtually untouched. Jess would never understand their world; she couldn't live on 500 calories a day and no carbs, god what would she do with all her baking time? As Jess looked at the food before her she felt a lurch in her stomach, it was only now she realised she had been so busy getting the party ready and then trying to make it PG once Shivrang's aunt arrived that she had barely eaten all day and she had drunk a lot to get through the party. She had unintentionally followed the models crazy diet all night and needed to rectify that immediately. Jess snatched up one of the hotdogs and gobbled the whole thing down in three bites, as she swallowed her last mouthful she grabbed another taking a massive animalistic bite.
"Oh godddd…" she moaned "So good…"
"Errr Jess do you and that hot dog maybe wanna get a room?" Called a playful voice behind her.
Jess spun around on the spot, half the hot dog in her mouth the other still clutched in her hand. "Uh, Nick…" She tried to say but instead crumbs came bursting out.
"Sexy." Nick teased walking towards her. He was still wearing that ridiculous yellow tracksuit and even that he looked good.
Jess forced herself to swallow the ridiculously large amount of food in her mouth and threw what was left in the trash. Nervously she wiped her face and cursed herself internally for her little midnight feeding frenzy and that it was Nick of all people who caught her. Nick reached the edge of the counter and saw the masses of leftover food.
"Whoah Jess exactly how many people were you expecting to feed tonight? There's enough hotdogs here to feed the crowd at Yankee Stadium." Nick said slipping onto one of the bar stools.
Jess sighed, "I know I went a little crazy. Plus I forgot 85% of the guests only eat one solid meal per week."
Nick chuckled; he'd never got the whole model thing himself. Sure he could see they were hot, he had eyes after all but they weren't his type, he liked a girl who could eat. He reached out for a hot dog, "So these going spare then?"
Jess nodded eagerly, "Have at it cowboy, fill your boots." She said.
Nick smiled at her comment and snatched one up, practically biting it in half and then picking up another handing it to Jess. She took it with a smile and began to nibble at it, Nick raised his eyebrows questioningly at her, Jess emitted a small giggle and took a big bite.
"Mmmm these are really good." She said.
Nick nodded in agreement picking up his second, "No argument here. Although gotta say strange choice for a bachelorette party."
Jess shrugged, "Was the sexiest food I could think off, I thought guys liked it when girls shoved things down their throats. Like this." Jess said putting the hot dog in her mouth, only this time slower and more sensual, making a long deep moan as she took a bite.
Nick choked on his hot dog at her actions. "Don't. Do. That. Again." He coughed, taking a swig of the nearest drink not caring what or whose it was. "Eurgh vodka cranberry. You and your pink drinks Jess."
Jess giggled and snatched the cup from his hands draining it. "Can't handle it Miller?" she teased.
Nick didn't answer her but got up and grabbed himself a beer from the refrigerator. "Jeez if I'd known hot dogs did it for ya maybe I woulda taken you to that damn hot dog stand instead of the fancyman restaurant."
Nick was pretty sure he meant to say that in his head but he has tired and Jess had pretty much just performed a sex act on a hot dog in front of him, he wasn't exactly thinking clearly and it just came out. He slammed the refrigerator door shut and looked to Jess immediately, bracing himself for the awkward horrified fallout.
However Jess just shrugged with a little half smile, "Maybe you should have."
Nick breathed a sigh of relief; glad she had taken it as a joke and decided to change the subject. "So where'd everybody go? I thought CeCe stayed to help clear up." He asked sitting back on the stool.
"She offered but I told her to go home and be with Shivrang…or Shivrung or however you pronounce it." Jess said.
Nick frowned, "Or Shavy as his friends call him."
Jess roller her eyes, "So what are you, like bros now?"
Nick nodded, "After all the weird stuff we pulled tonight we bros for life!" he said imitating Schmidt.
Jess laughed, "Thanks for doing that the way, kidnapping Shivrang and trying to take inappropriate pictures of his junk for me."
"Anything for you doll." Nick said tipping his beer to her. Jess couldn't help but light up at his words. "Although I'm pretty sure he thinks Winston is psychotic."
Jess shrugged, "Eh, let's be honest who hasn't thought that at one point or another?"
"Fair point." Nick said swigging his beer. "Where is our unhinged little roommate anyways?"
"He tried hitting on one of CeCe's model friends but it didn't go all that well, you know with his current inability to actually speak to women in normal sentences." Jess said sadly.
"Ah, I see." Nick said.
"Yup. She pretty much shut him down. So he went off to his room with some penis cake and a pitcher of fruity drinks." Jess said.
Nick sighed, "Oh god, he'll be getting naughty with himself all night."
"Ewww. Nick." Jess said scrunching her face up.
"Hey it's not me; I'm just sharing information here." Nick said holding his hands up.
"He did ask not to be disturbed." Jess said looking anxiously down the hallway to their rooms.
"God knows what he's doing with that penis cake." Nick teased.
Jess slapped him on the arm, "Ewww Nick just ewww."
Nick just laughed and drunk his beer. Jess let out a little shudder, now she needed a drink. She grabbed the only remaining bottle of vodka and poured herself a large cup, topping it off with Sadie's leftover cranberry juice.
She took a large swig, "You know what good for Winston. Let him enjoy his cake and…himself." She said awkwardly. "None of us are in any position to judge, it's not exactly as if this loft has been a hot bed of action lately." She said in a disappointed tone.
"And whose fault is that?" Nick said grabbing another beer.
"What?" Jess asked confused.
"Middle school dance rules." He said bluntly. "That was your idea Jess."
Jess nodded, he was right after all she had said no more funny business. "True. Although looking at you now I think that was a wise choice."
"What? Why?" Nick asked his face grew angry and his voice full of a little genuine hurt.
"Nick look at you." She said pointing at him. "That tracksuit is ridiculous."
Nick's expression softened slightly, "I wish everyone would stop hating on the tracksuit, it's awesome."
"I think you mean awful." Jess laughed sipping her drink.
"Dead dad pass." He corrected her.
"Nick you can't use that just so you can get away with doing dumb stuff, such as wearing one of Elton John's cast offs." Jess teased.
"Yes I can and I will. I can do what I want, when I want and no one can say anything about it. Dead. Dad. Pass." He said doing a little spin. "And I look damn good."
Jess shook her head, "So is this your thing now? The weird and wonderful wardrobe choices of Nick Miller? First we had Trench coat Nick, and now we have Tracksuit Nick."
Nick nodded, "Yup, I'm a chameleon; I can totally pull anything off girlfriend." He said snapping his fingers and making what Jess assumed was meant to be a model pose but just looked more like he was having a stroke. "Admit it, I look hot." He joked.
Jess didn't look convinced, "Uh-huh. I think I prefer regular Nick, dirty hoodies and un-ironed shirt and all, wayyyy hotter." Jess said her mouth working before her brain. She tried to act natural and take a drink.
Nick stopped his silly twirling and posing and leaned on the counter looking at her with a half surprised, half extremely satisfied look on his face, "Smoking hot?"
Jess felt herself blush at his words, remembering the last time she had said them to him, well about him, remembering what had happened after she had said them as well. She took another swig of her drink, a much bigger one, then said quietly not letting her eyes meet his. "Sometimes."
Nick's smile grew even wider, Jess wasn't sure she'd ever seen him look so pleased with himself. Silence hung in the air between them for a moment, not the tense awkward silences which had seemed to follow them lately; it was more filled with anticipation and excitement, not knowing where this could go.
Nick took a long swig of his beer, tilting his head back, Jess knew what was coming next and she knew that given the flirty playfulness of the last ten minutes and the increased confidence from the alcohol, not to mention the image of that picture in her mind, she would have no defence against him gargling that beer. Her eyes grew wide as Nick opened his mouth, Jess literally sprung out of her seat like a jack-in-the-box, snatching up the trash and hurriedly throwing everything in her path into it, muttering to herself about clean up time. Nick swallowed his beer with a nod, annoyed with himself; things seemed to be going so well, he shouldn't have pushed it.
Jess had suddenly morphed into the Energizer Bunny, she seemed to move everywhere in a flash, her red and pink dress no more than a blur to Nick's already tired eyes. Nick watched her for a moment; she had her back to him now and seemed to be overly focused on organising the non-used paper plates and cups. He took this as his cue to go.
"Ok Jess I'm gunna call it a night." He said softly turning towards his room.
Jess spun around on the spot, "No!" she practically screamed at him causing Nick to actually jump back a little. "I mean it's still early…" she looked up at the clock, it was 1.35am. "…I err…we're young, we're dumb and a little wasted there's still plenty of fun stuff to do." She had no idea what she was saying or where she was going with this, the words just seemed to come pouring out of her mouth.
Nick edged back closer to her, his brown eyes suddenly darkening with a troublesome glint which made Jess's body flush with heat. "What did you have in mind Jessica?" he said his voice low.
Jess felt her breathing become increasingly fast and laboured the closer Nick moved towards her, she tried her best to hide it but the grin on Nick's face told her she was doing a terrible job. "I err…we could…"
Middle school dance rules dammit, one voice in her head screamed, the sensible one who told her this was a terrible idea, that this could ruin everything. Then there was a second voice, the one who was clearly in cahoots with 'Little Jess' as she was screaming at Jess to rip that hideous tracksuit off him and jump Nick right on the kitchen floor. She was finding it hard to separate the voices in her head now he was so close to her, voice number two was making a really good case.
"Jessica…" he said again.
God why did he have to say her name like that? And why did he smell so good? Why was he so close to her? Why wasn't he kissing her right now?
Jess felt like she couldn't breathe, her mind was swimming, her body was on fire. Suddenly she felt her back hit something hard and only then realised Nick had been guiding her backwards towards the kitchen counter, stalking her. Her breath grew even wilder as she felt Nick's hand rest on her hip, as his body lent against his; it took all of the little willpower she had left not to moan out at his actions. Then Nick lowered his head to hers, she could feel his hot breath of her lips, his mouth just about to brush hers; the voice of pink wine drinking Jess was clearly distracted doing a victory dance in her mind when the voice of sensible Jess stepped in.
"Guacamole." She whispered against his lips.
Nick pulled back instantly, full on turtle face and confusion etched on his face. This was a whole new kind of dirty talk he thought. Keeping his hands still firmly gripped on her waist he asked, trying to keep his voice even, "What?"
"Guacamole." She said again. "My butt is sitting in the guacamole."
Nick looked to the side of Jess and saw she was correct, he had someone managed to push her into a huge dish of the green dip. He cursed himself, smooth move Miller, but then found he didn't care, so what if her dress was covered in dip, if he had his way if a few minutes she would have no need of her clothes anyways. He was about to say something of this effect if maybe with a little more charm to Jess when she pushed his arms away and rushed over to the sink. Nick looked at her butt as she shot passed him and sure enough there was a perfect green imprint of her behind, Nick couldn't suppress a massive laugh at the absurdity of the situation.
Jess turned to him and glared. "This is not funny Nick, this is a new dress!" she snapped as she did her best to clean it off with a dishcloth.
"I'm sorry Jess but it's too hilarious not too." He said still laughing.
Jess shot daggers at him as she tried to clean off the guacamole; the only problem was she couldn't quite reach the area in question. She stood spinning in round and round in circles until she cried out and stamped her feet! "Arghhhhhh!"
Nick laughing even harder at her struggle stepped forward, "Jess let me help you…"
Jess jumped back "No!" she yelled. "No, no you can't…I don't need…I'm fine." She said trying to compose herself.
Nick knew why she didn't want him to touch her again and he couldn't help but feel disappointed. He sighed to himself, guess he should be used to the way things were between them, how fleeting their moments seem to come and go before some ridiculous interruption ruined them, at least this time it didn't involve a massive flood in the apartment.
"Look Jess why don't you go and get changed and I'll finish up here." Nick said.
"You sure?" she asked, still checking the stain on her butt every few seconds.
Nick chuckled, "Go." he said pointing to her room.
Jess's face returned to a smile, "Thanks Nick." She said before hurriedly skipping off to her room.
Fifteen minutes later a glasses and pyjama clad Jess returned to find the kitchen was practically clear of all traces of the party. She saw Nick by the refrigerator putting away the leftover food; he looked up when he heard her footsteps.
"There she is." He said. "How's the dress? Is he gunna make it?"
Jess nodded, "I think he'll pull through, I'll take it to the cleaners tomorrow." She said surveying the scene around her. "Whoah Nick, did you do all this by yourself?"
He nodded putting the last few Tupperware boxes away.
"Wow. I'm impressed." She said unable to conceal the surprise.
"I'd take that as a compliment if your voice wasn't filled with total shock and disbelief." He said grumpily. "Jess you forget I do this for a living, every night I have to close up the bar and when I wanna get out of there fast I can clean that place up in ten minutes flat."
"I'm sorry it's just around here you're so…" she began not knowing quite how to finish that sentence without making him more annoyed. "…relaxed, about the whole cleaning thing."
Nick smiled at her, "Nice save Day." He shrugged, "I don't care what this place is like, long as there's a clear path to the refrigerator and the can I'm good."
"How lovely." Jess said pushing her glasses up her nose.
"Besides we have Schmidt." He said simply.
"True." Jess replied wiping a finger along the immaculately clean countertop. "And I'd say he'd give you a gold star for your handiwork Nick. Where is he anyways? He took off after the party."
Nick frowned, "I don't know but he sent me this really weird text." Nick said scrambling for his phone in the pocket of his hideous sweatpants. He pulled up the message and read Schmidt's words, "I am on a journey of re-self-discovery through grease and melted cheese to find the Big Guy I have lost. Schmidt out. X" Nick looked up at Jess with a confused turtle face. "I mean what the…and I told him to stop putting X's at the end of his messages, its creepy."
Jess was confused. "What did you text back?"
Nick flipped to his reply message, "You're on a journey to douche town. Jar."
"Nick!" Jess said.
"What?" Nick shrugged, "C'mon Jess that was pretty weird even for Schmidt."
Jess nodded, "I wonder what he's doing…"
"If it involves grease and big guys I think we're better off not knowing." Nick said with a shudder.
"Agreed." Jess replied taking a seat on one of the stools. "But seriously Nick thanks for cleaning up, that was cool of you."
"Don't worry about it." Nick said trying to sound casual as he lent back against the counter, beer clutched in hand. "Although I think I have fulfilled my roommate favours for the whole year for you tonight Jessica Day."
Jess knew instantly to what he was referring, to the one subject neither one them had dared breach all night, even though it had been on both their minds, or at least it had on Jess's. Jess decided to play it cool, or as cool as Jess ever could play things.
"Hey man I asked you to get a picture of Shivrang's penis I didn't say you needed to create a montage of all your man-businesses." She replied. "Why did you take a picture of yours anyway?"
Nick sighed and rubbed the back of his neck, "I dunno we were trying to convince Shivrang it was a part of an American bachelor party, like everyone taking pictures of their stuff…so I did thinking he would follow but…it was just weird. I blame you Jess!"
"No Nick I'm not taking a hit on this, that craziness was all you." She said shaking her head with a laugh. "And why on earth did you send yours to me?"
"Winston did it, he thought we could pass it off as Shivrang's. It was stupid, the whole thing was stupid." Nick said.
"No arguments here." Jess chirped grinning at him.
Nick hung his head in his hands, "I can't believe you showed everyone."
Jess shifted uncomfortably, she kinda regretted that too, she didn't like the fact that CeCe, Sadie, Shivrang's aunt and a bunch of gorgeous man eating models had all seen Nicks penis now. She told herself it was because he was her friend and she felt bad for embarrassing him, it had nothing to do with jealously or the possessiveness she had felt at all their impressed responses.
"Yeah I am sorry about that Nick. But you should be pleased…" she said trying to sound comforting, "You gave everyone a real treat."
"God Jess…" he moaned, embarrassed.
"No seriously the feedback was all good, a BIG tick for Nick Miller and his…" she needed to stop talking. Shut up Jess, shut up her sensible inner voice yelled but she couldn't. "…disco stick…" what was wrong with her?
Nick's face scrunched up in pain.
But Jess couldn't seem to stop herself. "…one-eyed trouser snake…"
Nick flinched, "Jess please…"
"It's like a baby's arm man!" She said unable to stop words falling from her mouth. "I mean who needs a law degree when you have a PH…"
"Jess I'm begging you to stop!" Nick yelled.
"Oh thank god." She said with a huge sigh, dropping her head in her hands.
"What the hell was that?" Nick asked.
"I don't know." She said keeping her hands on her face so as to hide her immensely flushed cheeks. "I'm sorry you know I don't do well with…" she took a deep breath. "…penises."
Nick couldn't help but laugh at her words. "No I know." He paused for a moment, then asked. "You did delete it right Jess?"
Jess opened her fingers still covering her face but so her eyes could peek out. "Yes." She said quietly.
Nick's eyes went wide in horror, "Oh my god you kept it! Didn't you?"
Jess looked at Nick for a moment before dropping her hands in her lap, "Fine, ok I kept it."
"Why? Why would you do that Jess?" Nick asked waving his arms in frustration.
Jess shrugged, "You never know Nick I might need it…"
"For what?" Nick asked, eyebrows raised his eyes now with a dark glint.
Jess became suddenly very flustered, "I don't know…I might…what's the big deal Nick, I've seen it before."
"That was different Jess that was an accident for a few split seconds not having it on your phone as a screensaver to laugh with your friends about!" Nick yelled.
"Nick I would never, you really think…" she yelled back. "I just might need it one day, in an emergency…"
"What possibly type of emergency is there which would require you to have a picture of my penis?" Nick yelled, realising that may have just been the most ridiculous question he ever asked someone.
"Fine, fine I'll delete it." she said.
Nick stood there staring at her, for a moment, letting the anger and embarrassment subside. He needed to stop talking about this, especially to Jess. He sighed, "Good. Let's just talk about something else. Did CeCe enjoy the party?"
"I think so…eventually." Jess said. "Although it wasn't exactly the wild dirty party we planned when we were thirteen."
Nick shot a Jess a confused look, "Thirteen? Jeez they start young in Oregon." He teased. "Hey well maybe you can throw her an extra dirty bachelorette party for her next one."
"Her next what?" Jess asked.
"Her next wedding." Nick replied simply. "Come on Jess you can't seriously think this is going to work with CeCe and Shivy?"
Jess frowned and sat looking at Nick, "Actually yes I do Nick. I'll admit I had my doubts at first given the speed at things were happening but did you not see Shivrang tonight? That was so sweet."
Nick shook his head, "No Jess don't get me wrong Shivrang's a great guy really, and CeCe's awesome but them, together I don't see it. They don't have that…spark."
Jess's eyes bolted up to his at his words, did he just say that?
Nick sipped his beet as he noticed Jess staring at him, "What'd I say?"
Jess shook her head, "Nothing, nothing. Ok maybe they don't have that crazy wild passionate thing going on but there's a lot more to a relationship than that Nick."
"Actually I don't think there is Jess." He said. "I think if two people have that spark then they can figure the rest out along the way."
Jess sat staring up at Nick her mouth wide open in shock. Did he hear what he just said? Was he messing with her, just saying it to get some sort of reaction out of her? She tried to read his eyes but as always they gave nothing away, he remained Nick Miller; grumpy mystery. Jess's head was beginning to hurt, all vodka, little food and pretty much no sleep was making her a very testy girl at this late hour.
"Well maybe some people should take their own advice." She muttered to herself.
"What?" Nick asked.
"Nothing." Jess said again. "I just never knew you felt that way…about CeCe's marriage." She added hastily.
"Hey Jess I hope I'm wrong, I hope they have a long and happy life together I really do." Nick said genuinely. "But I don't think I am."
"Well I think you are." Jess snapped.
Nick only grinned at her, "Care to have a wager on that Jess?"
"With what Nick? Neither of us are exactly going to make the Fortune 500 this year." Jess replied.
"Sure we can think of something we both want." He said taking another sip of his beer.
Again did he mean that the way it sounded? Jess's mind was getting increasingly foggy from the drink and Nick's confusing comments. The depraved voice in her head had gradually grown louder throughout the night, pushing sensible Jess further back, and she was convinced Nick meant more than doing each other's laundry.
But it seemed sensible Jess was not gone for good, "I'm not making a bet against my best friend's wedding Nick! No way!"
Nick nodded in defeat, "Fair enough. Just for the record if Schmidt ever manages to trap some poor defenceless woman into marrying him I'm totally ok with making bets against him."
Jess laughed, relived the tension seemed to have elevated once more. "You're terrible." She said. "Did I tell you CeCe asked me to be her Maid of Honour?"
Nick smiled, genuinely pleased for Jess, "That's awesome Jess, congrats. What do you have to do?"
"Well throw the bachelorette party…" she began.
"Check." Nick said sipping his beer.
"Yup. Then I…err…well there's the…" Jess stammered. "Actually I have no idea. I've never been a Maid of Honour before; I've never even been a bridesmaid! Oh my god Nick what do I have to do?"
"Why the hell are you asking me?" he said frowning at her. Jess began to hyperventilate mumbling things about flowers and dresses and something borrowed. Nick bent down in front of her, forced her head up to face him, "Hey Jess calm down ok? Look I have absolutely no idea what a Maid of Honour does but if you're doing it then you'll be the most kick ass Maid of Honour in the history of weddings!" he said giving her a warm smile.
Jess returned it with, "You think so?"
"Sure." Nick said rubbing her arm gently. "Just no singing during the ceremony." He added warningly.
"Aye aye captain." Jess replied before letting out a big yawn.
"Come on sailor, time for bed." Nick said tugging her off the stool lightly.
Jess let out a little whine but didn't argue as Nick guided her through the living room and hallway delivering her right to her door, to what was quickly becoming their spot. They stood there for a moment staring at one another, this was becoming almost a pre-bedtime ritual and Jess wasn't sure she liked it. Then she thought back to her argument with CeCe earlier and her comment about Jess and the debacle with the boy across the hall.
"Nick, can I ask you something?" Jess said quietly.
Nick was slightly taken aback but nodded, "Course Jess."
"It was something CeCe said earlier…" she began but then stopped herself. Did she really want to get into this now? Things were starting to feel normal again after their 'date' maybe it was best left alone. "…forget it. Night." She said turning to her door but she felt Nick tug on her arm. She turned back to him.
"Come on Jess, what did she say?" Nick asked, putting his hands in his pockets.
Jess took a deep breath, "She said that…you know you and me?" she said pointing between them.
Nick nodded, "Yes Jess I know who we are."
"Right yeah, well CeCe said that we're…that this thing with us is a 7th Grade debacle." Jess said looking down at her feet. "Do you think we're acting like we're in Junior High?"
Nick stared at Jess for a moment, "No Jess." She said and she felt relief flood though her. "We're at least 9th, maybe even 10th grade." He said with a grin.
Jess laughed, "Oh yeah?"
"Totally, I mean we've seen each other naked, you tried to get to third base with me when you were on pills and I sexted you a picture of my junk. We're way beyond 7th grade." He said.
Jess laughed harder, she loved how Nick was always able to lighten things at the right moment, she really didn't give him enough credit for that. He wasn't always so grumpy she thought.
"In fact…" he said edging closer to her. "If you really want to make things even then technically it's your turn."
"My turn for what?" Jess asked, concerned with where he was going with this. The lightness of the mood seemed to disappear as fast as it came.
"To send me a picture of your…assets." He said lowly, flicking his eyes down to her pyjama covered chest.
Jess scoffed, "You can't be serious."
"Hey it's the only fair thing to do." Nick said.
Jess shook her head, "I am not sending you a picture of my…" she stammered. "Of any of me Miller."
"Dead dad pass!" He cried.
Jess tutted, "I'm ashamed of you Nicholas."
Nick hung his head, "So am I." The shrugged, "Worth a shot."
Jess smiled and shook her head, rubbing his arm gently. "Goodnight Miller." She said warmly.
Nick looked at her for a moment. "Goodnight Day."
Nick watched as Jess closed her bedroom door giving a small wave as she did so. He never went first, he always watched her go, it was like his own little personal pain game. With a disappointed sigh he retreated to his room, he looked at the clock, 3.08 am, god he needed some sleep he had the early shift at the bar and had no excuse for being late as he had been in there most of the night in a bright yellow tracksuit, not exactly incognito. He sat down on the edge of his bed rubbed his tired eyes and looked up at his reflection in the mirror, he looked so ridiculous but he didn't care. He was keeping the tracksuit.
Suddenly he heard his phone buzz in his pocket, praying it wasn't Schmidt texting to say he was trapped in some crazy man's basement Nick opened it nervously. He nearly dropped the phone to the ground with what he saw. Was this real? Was he dreaming? He stared at picture on his small screen still trying to take it in; he was looking at a picture of breasts, of Jess's breasts. He couldn't believe she had done it; maybe it was an accident or a joke? But then he read what she had written underneath; I hear the upper boob is the most underrated part. And Nick knew this wasn't a mistake or cruel trick she was playing on him. Nick continued to stare at the amazing picture before him, trying to recall the memory he had so preciously stored from last year, when Jess had dropped her towel in his room.
Slowly the feelings of shock, elation and the more he stared at it arousal started to get pushed aside as another feeling set in, panic. What the hell was he supposed to do now? Should he go over there? Maybe that was too much; she hadn't written come and get 'em big boy! Maybe he should just do nothing; maybe Jess was following through on his threat and evening the odds between them. Or maybe he should send her something back, but what? He didn't have anything left to play. He thought briefly about writing a dirty text but Nick had never been very good at that stuff, it always came across wrong and it would probably freak her out. He was so confused he didn't know what to do and he was freaking out, maybe they really were in 7th grade!
Nick looked up at his yellow clad reflection once more and nodded to himself. "Dead dad pass." He said jumping up, phone clutched in his hand.
He didn't knock; it felt that manners have kinda gone out of the window once you start sending naked pictures to each other. Jess's room was in darkness except the soft light of small lamp on the opposite bed side table. Jess was standing over by her closet hanging her stained dress against the metal door way when she turned to see Nick enter.
"Jess…" he said.
Her eyes went wide immediately panic taking completely over her face. She jumped back and hid behind her dress, it barely covered her face and shoulders she looked like a little kid who sucked at hide-and-go-seek. "Jess is not here right now, leave a message…beep." She said doing her best machine voice.
Nick pulled the dress away; he didn't say a word but held up his phone in his hands.
"Ah yeah…that was a mistake…" she mumbled, stepping away from him into the middle of the room. "See I was getting changed and holding my phone and the flash went off…"
"Jess…" Nick said darkly, rounding on her.
"It was a joke!" She yelled, her back was to the bed. "They're not even mine, they're joke boobs!"
"Jessica. Shut up." Nick said shooting a glance down to her pyjama top, noting that it was buttoned up incorrectly, Nick grinned. He reached out and grabbed her waist roughly crashing her body against his, his hands holding the small of her back firmly.
"Nick…" she whispered, "What are you…"
"Dead dad pass." Nick said quietly, his face moving closer to hers. "I can do what I want, when I want and no one can say anything about it." he breathed as his lips collided with hers.
Jess let out a low guttural groan as Nick's mouth claimed her own, she found her arms instinctively wrapping around his shoulders, clinging to him with all her mite, hoping if were even possible to draw herself closer to his body. The hunger Nick felt for Jess only spiralled further at her reaction, his hands raked up and down her body whilst he guided her across the floor until Jess felt the back of her knees hit the bed. They collapsed down upon it, still entwined in one another; Nick moved his lips to Jess's neck, collarbone and chest as his fingers hurriedly fumbled with the buttons of her pyjama top. To Nick's credit he made quick work of them and was about to push the material aside when suddenly he felt Jess's hands clamp around his, Nick broke his lips from her skin and looked at her in horror, she couldn't stop him now, not now he knew what pleasure awaiting him underneath this flannel barrier.
"Nick, wait…" she said her body vibrating underneath his, he could see the perfect skin of her stomach, he trailed his fingers lightly up and down. "I want you…" Nick's ego and desire roared at her words. "…but…" then he was filled with sudden dread. "…you have to get rid of the tracksuit." She said lifting her head up off the bed and forcing her lips onto his as she undid the jacket zipper with the other.
Nick smiled against her lips as she kissed him and pushed the arms of the jacket off his body, revealing his bare chest as he hovered over her. Jess broke her lips from his and lent back against the bed, clutching the scrunched up jacket in one hand, she used her other to lightly trace its way down his body, from his Adams apple to his naval, before resting at the top of his awful yellow sweatpants. Jess hooked her fingers inside the waistband and tugged Nick lower, his body grinding against hers, Nick growled at her actions.
"Deal?" Jess said darkly as she nipped at his neck.
Nick had no choice, he was utterly defenceless to the beautiful woman lying beneath him, with her soft lips on his skin, he was at her mercy. And there was nowhere else in the world he would rather be. Nick snatched the yellow jacket and threw it across the room, it landed half in, half out of Jess's trash can.
"Deal." He growled before devouring his lips with hers once more.