Hi guys! Em here! I finally am uploading this one (even though I finished it last month) I don't have too much to say- but I hope you like it!
Read, review, and fangirl on!
Disclaimer: Cardcaptor Sakura and Master of the Clow belong to CLAMP. . . not me. . . although I really want to steal it. . .
Warning: Yaoi, but you people knew that already.
I love the feeling of his hands in my hair. My masters feelings towards us- towards me, are casual, just like the way he treats a game of cards or a simple match of chess. I tend to take things more seriously, but I seem to be the only one who feels that way. Cerberus takes after master in the sense of casualness.
I'd been sitting on the floor for the past few hours, my head on master's knee staring at the open window while master plays a game against Windy. She's easy to play against seeing as she can flip over cards. His hand grazes over my hair as they play and I sit there in content.
Eventually the game subsides- revealing master as the winner. Windy laughs in good sport before disappearing back into the book. The light is fading fast and I attempt to rise and close the window, but master keeps me sitting with a slight pressure on my head. I don't ask questions, master has a reason for most things, and if he doesn't tell me the reason then he doesn't tell me.
"Yue?" He asks and I turn slightly to let him know that I have heard him, "Do you like it here?"
"Yes." I whisper, not wanting to intrude on the beating silence that had enveloped the room.
"Thank you." He tells me and I relax again, putting my head once again on his knee. It was a strange question- one that hadn't ever been asked before. Of course I like it here, I think, I have a home, and friends, and most of all my master. Contrary to his and Cerberus' beliefs my feelings for master are more than the love I would normally feel for my creator. I wish for more, but never express my desires. Just being around my master makes me happy- I can't ask for more.
I sigh happily as he runs his fingers deeper through my locks, and I return my gaze to the window- thinking empty thoughts of pleasure and content, "Yue?" my master asks once again.
"Yes?" I answer, unwilling to turn my head away from his hand.
"May I make a request of you?"
"Of course, master."
"I would like it if you call me Clow."
I freeze at this, Cerberus has called master Clow for a while, but it was never a habit that I picked up- feeling that it was too intimate, "Of course," I tell him, "if that is what you wish."
"No, Yue." He tells me, untangling his fingers from the sliver, "I want you to call me Clow because you want to, not because I want you to. Does that make sense?"
I nod my reply, wishing his hand was once again in my hair. He wanted me to act upon my own free will, not his, "I understand. . . Clow." I whisper his name, but I can still hear the smile on masters- no, Clow's face.
"Thank you, Yue." He says, and presses his lips to the top of my head. I don't move- afraid my actions will betray my feelings. Clow pulls back and turns my head to look at him, "Yue, is everything okay?"
"Yes, everything is fine." I answer, allowing my hair to cover my pale eyes.
Clow stares intently at me before nodding his head.
I stand up from my seat and close the window. The light has faded and I draw the curtains, ". . . Clow, are you going to stay up and read?"
"Probably," He replies to me and I light the candles, "will you stay here with me, Yue?"
"I was planning on retiring, but if that is what you wish, then I will stay."
Clow smiles at me and I feel my heart do a flip at the sight, "Please, stay."
I nod and am about to return to my place on the floor when Clow ushers to his knee. I stare curiously at him, "Sit." he says, and I gingerly perch myself on his knee. Clow picks up his book and opens it up. He continues to run his hand down my hair and absorbs the words on whatever page number he's reading.
"It's been a long time since we sat like this, hasn't it?"
"Yes." The last time I had set on his lap had been shortly after he'd first created me- his moon guardian.
"Yue, you get along well with Cerberus, right?"
"Of course."
"What do you think of him?"
"I don't hate him."
Clow smiles at me, understanding what I mean. Then his face becomes serious, "Then what do you think of me?"
"I. . . I, you're my master."
"Please, tell me the truth, Yue."
"Ma- master. . ."
His face comes closer to mine, and I can smell sweets and tea on his breath, "Yue, please."
"I. . . I can't. Please. . . please don't make me."
I try to stand, but Clow keeps me down, "Yue, I need to know. Tell me, show me, just please answer me."
I bite my bottom lip before answering, "You. . . you don't mind, if. . . if I show. . . you?"
"Of course not." Clow smiles.
"Okay. . ." I trail off and press my lips to his gently. After a few seconds I pull back and rise from my seat. I walk over to the door feeling my hair swish against my back and leave the library.
I climb up the stairs and seclude myself in my room. I curl up on the bed, and I don't move from that spot even when Cerberus comes to 'wake' me up after a half moon night.
"Yue?" I hear knocking at my door, "Yue?"
I don't answer, pretending to be asleep, "Yue, may I come in? Please?"
I lift up my head, and groggily stare at the door, "I can't deny you entry."
"Yes you can." Comes Clow's voice.
My head hits the bed,"Then I suppose you can enter."
"Thank you." I hear the door open and shut, and a hand tangles in my hair, "Yue, will you please look at me?"
I turn my head slightly, unable to resist my overwhelming urge to see my master's face- my loved one's face. He's kneeling on the floor next to my bed, without his cloak. That surprises me, he always has his cloak- but I let out a small breath when I see it on the floor next to him.
It's quiet as he stares at me, "Yes?" I ask him, no longer able to stand the dead silence in the room.
Clow smiles, and stands to sit lightly on the bed, "Just wondering the best way to continue." he comments then sits me up and shifts my weight onto his lap, "I guess the best way would be to show you. But I'm not sure you want anything to do with me at the moment. I did force you to answer me against your will yesterday- right after I told you to follow your own will. What a hypocrite I am."
"You're not a hypocrite." I tell him and twist on his lap until I'm facing him and my knees are in his lap."
"Yes I am, Yue. I always have been. I te-"
"What did want to show me?" I interrupt- shaking slightly. I'd never interrupted mas- Clow before, but I couldn't stand listening to him degrade himself.
"What?" Clow stutters.
"What did you want to show me?" I tell him once again.
"Are you positive that you want me to show you?"
"Yes," I state, "I don't care what it is. But I want you to show it to me."
"Okay. If that is what you want." Clow says, and then leans his face in and kisses me. My eyes go wide, and I see that his are heavy lidded. He pulls back, and is about to apologize when my body moves on its own and I kiss him. My arms circle his shoulders and he pulls me closer to him. I gasp when he rubs the place where my wings normally are and he inserts his tongue into my mouth- ravaging places that I didn't know I had. I moan into his mouth and feel his hands freeze on my hips.
Clow pulls back and I hear myself whimper at the loss, "Yue? Yue?" he murmurs and pulls my head up to look him in the eyes, "Yue, this isn't fair to you. I need to stop this. We need to stop this." Clow pulls back from me, and I reach out to hold onto him. I don't succeed and he heads to the door, without looking at me he opens the thick, wood piece that separates me from the outside world, "I'm so sorry, Yue." Clow tells me then leaves the room with a soft 'click'.
"Clow. . . CLow. . . CLOw. . . CLOW!" My voice escalates, until I'm screaming out Clow's name. I collapse once again on the bed, but this time my face flowing tears and my body racking with sobs.
Cerberus POV
"Clow?" I ask my master, padding into the library where Windy was throwing a tantrum- sending the playing cards flying.
"Yes?" He asks, turning his head to me, eyes shut a smile on his face. It's a fake smile. I've been with him long enough to at least know that.
"What's wrong with Windy?"
"She's just a little upset. I'll send her to bed now." With that Clow waved his hand and Windy, all huffy, zooms back into the book.
"What about Yue. I'm worried about him. He hasn't come down from his room in weeks, he doesn't answer when I rap at the door, and I know that he doesn't have to eat but I worry about his health. What happened, Clow?"
Clow's smile falters before returning, "Nothing I can't resolve. I'll talk to him."
"You said that yesterday, and the week before, and a few days after this happened. Clow you need to do something. Yue's seriously hurting himself."
Clow's eyes widen, and stares at the ceiling above where Yue's room is located, "What? How?"
"Mentally," I tell him, and I see relief work it's way into his body, "I hear crying from his room at all hours. I don't hear words but sobs every day. Though lately I haven't heard anything. Not one sound. No sobs, no words, not even a thump. I think he's locked himself inside his mind- and for someone like Yue, that isn't a good idea."
"No it isn't, is it?"
"Not at all. What happened?"
"I did something that I shouldn't have. And I almost dragged Yue into it."
"Clow, whatever it is, Yue is having a harder time because you didn't drag him into it."
"But they were my selfish desires. It's not fair to Yue."
"Did you ask, Yue? Did you ask him if it's alright?"
"No. . ."
"Well ask him. I expect you will find the answer favorable."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"Then I guess I better. . . fix my mess." With those words Clow leaves the room.
"Master you see everything but his true feelings. I know you feel the same way for him, but I suppose they do say that love is blind." I shake my head and go to lay in Clow's room. If he does everything right then he won't be returning here tonight.
Back to Yue POV
I don't even notice when my door is unlocked, opened, shut, and then re-locked. I don't notice that anyone's in the room until I'm taken up into warm, perfect arms.
"Huh?" I gasp, and try to struggle away.
"Yue, Yue, Yue, Yue," He whispers, holding me to him, lips forming words in my hair, "I'm so sorry. So, so sorry. I never thought. I never thought at all that you might feel the same for me as I do for you. I'm blind, and stupid, and sorry. I only bothered to pay attention to my own feelings, and I thought yours were beating to mine. How ignorant I am. You have every right in the world to hate me. You have every right in the world to leave me- to go wherever you please. And if that is what you wish then I will not stop you. Please, Yue, tell me the truth: what is it that you want."
"I, Clow. . . please. . . please. . ."
"Please what? I'll do anything, everything. Just say it and I'll do it."
"Please, Clow," I feel the tears flow freely down my face. Not tears of sadness. Tears of happiness, of acceptance, of a feeling of wholeness that I had been lacking for all the days that I had locked myself away, "hold me tighter. Don't let me go. Please?"
"Of course, my angel, my Yue." Clow's arms become tighter and I grasp the fabric on his back.
"Thank you. Thank you, Clow." I tell him, slowly bringing my face up to look at his. He's crying. I lift one of my hands to wipe the tears away and with one of his own hands he holds mine there, "What's wrong?" I ask gently.
"I'm so happy," He tells me, shutting his eyes, "so happy that you don't hate me after what I've done to you."
"I could never hate you. I love you."
Clow opens his eyes again, and stares at me with such an intense desire that I feel a shiver of pleasure run up my spine, "I love you too, Yue."
My heart skips a beat at his, and I take an incentive. I lean up in Clow's embrace and press my lips heavily to his.
He responds enthusiastically to my kiss and nips at my bottom lip- asking for entrance. I open my mouth to his and his tongue slips in and I moan, but this time he doesn't pull back. Clow dives deeper into the kiss and unbuttons then pulls my robe off of me.
Breaking the kiss, Clow dips his mouth down to my neck and I lean back my head so he can get a better angle. I moan loudly when he brings his heavenly lips down to my erect nipples. I pull off his shirt as he bites down softly on my chest.
"Clow," I murmur, "Clow, stop." Clow pulls his head back, looking almost hurt, but his expression changes as I gently push him down and slip off his pants and undergarments.
"Yue, what are you doing?"
I eye his erection hungerly and I purr like a cat, "May I, Clow?"
His voice shakes as he answers me, "If that's what you want, Yue."
Instead of answering him I go ahead with my actions and kiss the head of his member. He shivers and I lick up it slowly before taking it into my mouth. Clow bucks as my lips encircle him, and I choke on him for a minute.
"Yue? Yue, are you alright?"
I nod, and Clow sighs with relief. I continue my suckling of his member. I can hear the noises that escape his lips and that drives me onward- wanting all that he is.
The next time that Clow bucks I bob my head with his movements- not wanting to choke once again. His cock is weeping and I taste his so heavily, feeling it consume my mouth, "Yu- e." Clow tell me and I, somewhat unwillingly, pull my head back off his erection with a soft 'pop', slightly confused and denied, "At this rate I'll, I'll cum before we're done." he tells me, panting heavily, and I raise my swollen lips to his for a chaste kiss.
"That's okay, Clow. You can release." I return to his erection and continue my ministrations.
"Y- YUE!" Clow yells as I bite gently on his member, and he shoots his seed into my mouth. I do my best to swallow it, but there is quite a lot of it and some escapes my mouth and dribbles down my chin.
Clow rides out his orgasm and I can't pull my eyes away from his beautiful body, arching and in a state of total bliss.
When Clow finally calms down I feel myself being flipped over onto my back and before I can register what's happening I feel his lips on mine and a soft tongue wiping away the extra cum on my face. I let out a gasp when a smooth hand grasps my need, pumping me agonizingly slow. One of his hands reaches underneath me and unties the two hair ties and allows my hair to flow from them.
His lips make their way down and meet the tip of my member. I moan at the electric sensation that runs up my spine at his simple touch. I feel him smile when he takes my cock into his mouth. This time my hips buck but Clow has already put a steady hand on my stomach to prevent me from choking him.
I hear noises that I didn't know I could make spill out of my mouth under his gentle licks and sucking. I intertwine my hands lightly into his hair- not wanting to hurt him but needing something to hold onto.
"Cl- Clow. . ." I stutter, giving him that little bit of warning before I release into his expecting mouth. I ride out my orgasm then feel a soft fondling of my testicles and become hard once again.
"Yue," Clow asks, "do you want to go further?"
"Y- yes." I pant, shocked at how much I was seemingly demanding.
"Okay." Clow tells me, kissing my bruised lips lightly. He pulls his head back and looks around. I don't know what he's looking for, I'd never been in any position to find out what it could be- or what he might do next. All I know is that I want him to continue.
Clow stands up, and I, in a state of whimpered shock, grab onto his arm to prevent him from leaving. He can't leave me! Not after all this! Did I do something wrong?
Any worries that I might have voiced were silenced before I have time to, "It's okay, Yue," Clow assures me, "I just need to grab something from over there. Something that will make this easier for you." I allow my arm to drop but watch him like a hawk as he grabs the jar of lotion that I use on occasion. I watch curiously as he comes back over to me, sits, and takes the top off the jar. Clow coats his fingers in the white substance and commands me to lay back. I do as he says and I feel him kiss my chest as I feel one of his fingers at an entrance I didn't know that had.
"This will hurt some, Yue," Clow tells me, "but I promise to be as gentle as I can." I nod and he inserts one finger into me. My eyes widen at the foreign sensation. Clow waits until I'm used to it before he enters a second digit. I hear a slight whine escape my throat and he gets one hand other my back to rub between where my wings are supposed to be. But even the wonderful feeling that pulses through my body is not enough to keep me from crying out when Clow adds a third and starts to make a scissor motion inside of me, "I'm sorry, angel." Clow apologizes to me and brings his lips up to kiss me once again. I get used to the feeling of his fingers within me and begin to moan as he pumps them in and out of me.
When I start to make noises Clow removes the fingers I suppress a growl of disappointment and prop myself up on my elbows to look at him. Clow is rubbing some of the lotion onto his member and after a few seconds my eyes widen in the realization that Clow is going to put his cock into me next.
Clow looks at my eyes and notices the concern, "Are you sure that you want to continue, Yue?"
I nod my head, still staring, "How are you going to fit inside me?"
Clow smiles at this, "I don't know. All I know is that I will."
My eyes go even wider at this, An answer that even the Great Clow Reed doesn't know?, "Yue," his voice snaps me back to reality, "if I hurt you, tell me to stop okay. I'm okay if you want me to stop. I don't want to hurt my beloved."
Beloved. . . I smile at his comment and nod my head. He ushers for me to get onto my knees and I do so without complaint.
Clow positions himself at my entrance and I take in a deep breath as he slowly sheathes himself in me. I feel tears drip down from my face and hit the bedsheets below my elbows. Clow doesn't move and keeps a firm grip on my hips.
"Can I continue?" Clow asks as I start to normalize my breathing again. I nod my head, not trusting myself to speak, This might hurt, but there is no way in hell that I want him stop. It feels so right, and I feel so complete- the last thing I want Clow to do is think he hurt me and remove himself.
He starts to pull out of me, and my body freezes. Clow senses my distress and stops, "What is it, Yue?"
"You're not hurting me," I pant, "please don't leave. Please!"
Clow chuckles and I feel the vibrations echo throughout my entire body, "It's okay, Yue. This is part of sex. It's like what I did with my fingers- the in and out motion. I won't leave you I promise, but I want to pleasure you- and part of that is pulling out. Do you understand?" he explains.
"Yes." I reply shakily, and he continues to slowly pull out until only his tip is still in me. Then he slowly pushes back into me.
Clow continues his slow motion until I become impatient and start to meet his methodical thrusts with ones of my own. He speeds up and I feel myself call out in slight pain- but mostly pleasure.
He angles himself one way and then another, seemingly looking for something. He searches for a little longer when something is brushed inside me and I let out a strangled yelp. Clow stops for a moment and then hits that place dead on. My voice erupts again- this time louder as I feel a wave of sensation wash over me, "Cl- Clow. . ." I pant, and he laughs.
"Found it." He murmurs, and begins to abuse that spot inside me.
I clench the sheets so hard that I'm afraid that I'll rip them, and I feel Clow press his face into the hair cascading down my back.
My body clenches around him, and moaning his name I come once again, spilling my warm seed all over the top sheet.
"Yue!" Clow groans a few thrusts later and I feel my body fill up with the warmness of Clow. His body goes limp and uses his wavering arms to keep his weight from crushing my body. We regulate our breathing and Clow pulls out of me- rolling over and then grasping me to his chest, and kicking the top sheet off the bed.
"Clow?" I mumble into his chest.
"Yes?" He replies, pressing his lips back into my free, floor length hair.
"Hold me tighter- please?"
"Of course, beloved."
I'm almost asleep, when I hear Clow's voice again, "Angel?"
"Hmm?"
"Did you enjoy that?"
"I didn't hate it."
He chuckles, "Coming from you I expect that means you liked it very much."
". . ."
He notices my silence, "What is it?"
"That, that was. . . sex, huh?"
"Yep," He chuckles, "I'm glad you're happy."
"I've read about it before," I whisper, "but I never thought I'd experience it."
"Well," Clow trails, "you can experience it as many times as you want."
"Really?"
"Yes."
"With you?"
"Of course."
I smile and snuggle closer to Clow, and he pulls another blanket over us. I hear him mumble something- but I'm too far asleep to hear it.
Clow POV
Yue's breathing quiets and he sleeps.
"As long as I can give it Angel, I will be yours. At least until the day you except your new master- Sakura, and find your new beloved," I murmur to him- knowing he cannot hear me, "I will be yours until that day."
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