Mistranslation

Phantom Hitman 1412

Summary: Mukuro gets bored one day during a meeting between him, Gokudera and Tsunayoshi and decides to take advantage of the fact that Tsunayoshi couldn't understand a word of Italian to spice the meeting up a little. Gokudera, never one to fail in his duty to Juudaime, perseveres on regardless, creating more viable translations for what his lover is saying. This might just be the hardest strategy meeting to date. 6959 MukuDera.

Warnings for sexual themes and Mukuro being naughty.

"Talking" is Japanese

"Talking" is Italian.

There were many things that a certain bomber and illusionist shared. A hatred of the Mafia's systems, how children are treated like impersonalised objects, like pawn pieces, how in the mafia everyone has to be worth something- a famous pianist, a family saving genetic experiment. They share a hatred for the world they've ended up in, for their parents, for their unholy pasts.

They also share Italian.

Both can speak the so called language of love, and whilst it has dulled over the years of ill-use in Japan, it is never truly forgotten. There is something useful in being able to talk a foreign language.

Or at least Mukuro seems to find one.

"This is boring. Why not let us find something more interesting to do? I can think of a few things we'd rather be doing." Mukuro says, face his usual shade of bored whenever he was involved in these silly Vongola meetings.

"The idiot says that he thinks Chrome would be up to handling that mission Juudaime." Gokudera reports, sitting opposite the illusionist, looking irritated. Tsuna can see that look very well, has inched back as far as the chair would allow, and is perfectly willing to let Mukuro get blown to smithereens for being in a funny mood once again. It was strangely becoming a repeating occurrence to have Mukuro speak in Italian. The Illusionist claimed to his boss that it was in preparation for when they eventually go back to Italy. Tsuna found this strange, Reborn hadn't even started to teach him Italian yet so surely there was no imminent need, and just put it up to Mukuro's ever changing whims, need to annoy people and do nothing by the book.

"Really? Should we maybe send someone with her?" Tsuna replies, looking back at Mukuro, worried that this might be too much for Chrome by herself.

"Your apartment is closer of course, and empty. Unless you want my minions to hear you begging for more? I certainly won't mind them hearing me share nirvana with you."

The scowl remains the same as Gokudera glares at Mukuro, even if his cheeks do turn a shade deeper red. Tsuna assumed that Gokudera is one step closer to going off like the bomb he is.

"If you're really that worried about her Juudaime, he said that it might be worth sending Yamamoto with her. She's more likely to get along better with him than with Sasagawa, he's too loud." Comes the reply. Tsuna was sure that he hadn't heard either of those names in the sentence Mukuro had spoken, but goes along with it anyway.

"Or maybe I should just bend you over this table after the meeting's done. You'd like that wouldn't you? Doing it in your beloved Decimo's house." And still the face is bored, eyes looking at pictures around the room, briefly flicking to his lover to see the reaction. Mukuro was always an actor, what illusionist wasn't?

"Mukuro here would prefer something much harder, maybe in the snow of the mountain tops where he can freeze to death. He would take on even the most dangerous missions for you Juudaime."

Tsuna thought that maybe he should ignore that comment, Gokudera's harsh voice clearly held barely contained anger, so that was most likely not the correct translation, but rather a slight towards Mukuro and the pain in the ass he was being.

"T-that's because he knows he's very strong I'm sure." Tsuna says nervously, not really sure how to reply to the obvious mistruth. "Although I think sending him up a snowy mountain is a little much Gokudera. A-anyway, I think sending Chrome and Yamamoto will be fine. So does Mukuro have any advice on how to deal with these people? They are in Kokuyo Town rather than Namimori after all."

Reborn had been sending them around the local area to deal with the Yakuza recently. Tsuna and the Guardians were still in school after all, and not yet ready to move into the big world of the Mafia. But of course, training never stopped, and dealing with small time Yakuza was the next step in Tsuna's training regime. As was delegation. He had had many lessons over the past few years about how to send his 'people' off on missions, and who was better suited to what type of mission and such. Tsuna hated it, but his friends were rather enthusiastic about it.

"Or maybe you'd prefer the Young Vongola's bed instead? Now don't give me that look, I haven't forgotten about the handcuffs. I know how much you like them. I'll cuff you to the table leg or the bed post, I don't mind either. Although last time I'm sure you complained of carpet burn." Mukuro rested his chin on his hand, looking at Gokudera with a bored raised eyebrow.

Gokudera was contemplating killing the fucking bastard right here and now, Juudaime only needed one Mist Guardian- this one was… dispensable. What Mukuro was saying was really distracting and totally off topic, so not only was he getting horny, but he was having to come up with suitable battle plans whilst trying not to imagine Mukuro actually going through with those fantasies. It was not an easy task.

Gokudera looks down at the papers in his hands, counting to ten whilst trying to come up with a suitable answer based upon no information. The page infront of him wavered, an actual strategic plan replacing the previous text as Mukuro was useful for once. Mukuro in turn didn't want to end the fun just yet and wasn't about to leave his lover stranded in the mud. That would mean they had to stop playing his marvellous game.

"Well Juudaime, Mukuro saysthat there's a certain park that they often hang around on Saturday nights. The park is usually used to get between the two main shopping streets, but now people have to use the longer route. If Chrome and Yamamoto were to attack, then there would be the best place, they'll be left alone and unnoticed." Gokudera faithfully reports, having only needed to look at the paper for mere moments to remember the words there. He then looks up at the annoying pest in front of him, giving the other a none too gentle kick from under the table. "Would you shut the fuck up and be useful for once in your god damned life. Or else next time we fuck you'll have my hands wrapped around your throat."

"Kufufu~ Go ahead my temperamental princess, I've always wanted to try that. They say that done correctly it adds tremendously to the pleasure." Mukuro look straight into grey eyes. Gokudera could read him like a book after so long together. Mukuro was always careful about the words he used and the 'if done correctly' had been intentional. He was clearly implying that he trusted Gokudera enough to push Mukuro to the brink and not teeter over the edge and actually kill him.

"Che." Gokudera has to look away, the unsaid statement far too true for his liking. "Bastard."

"So what if I am? We all know for a fact that you are. Doesn't make a blind bit of difference though, does it?" Mukuro comments, voice steady and airy as if he hadn't just dredged up painful memories out of the mud.

Gokudera wasn't even going to reply to that. Instead he turns to a confused looking Juudaime before remembering that he was supposed to be translating and scrabbling for something to say. Sadly bastard was too much of a cognate for Juudaime to miss. "I was just asking Mukuro if he was willing to drop the act and contribute properly by himself. It seems that he still wants to be an annoying ass." There that should cover that. Luckily Tsuna accepts the lie.

Talk about the mission continues for a little while, Mukuro not saying anything other than providing an illusion of the area for them to look at like a 3D map. Instead he sits and watches as Gokudera talks in his element- planning and strategizing. It was always a wonder to see the sharpness of those grey eyes flicker from side to side as he looked between different documents, to see Gokudera bite his lip as he thought. And as Gokudera gets more and more into the planning, he absently ties his hair up and fished his glasses out of his jacket pocket, supposedly to be able to read the documents better. Mukuro doesn't care about the reasons, the image should be illegal, classified as a sin, and most importantly… should be only for him. Sadly it's not, but Mukuro can deal with that. He catches Gokudera's eye as the other moves a lock of hair behind his ear. Ohh that tease. The look clearly shows that this is payback for all his comments earlier.

Well, if that's how it was going to be. Gokudera should know how spiteful and teasing Mukuro can be. He'll make the other regret that.

"I see you clearly don't need me any longer. I shall be going now." Mukuro says as he abruptly stands and walks towards the door, totally interrupting what Gokudera was saying about the lack of security cameras in the area. There's no time to object since Mukuro walks out too quickly.

Gokudera breathes a sigh of relief now that the annoyance is gone and goes back to explaining how the clean-up would go once the mission was over.

"I believe it would be best to leave an anonymous tip at the police station Juudaime. That way they'll end up in jail and won't be bothering anyone for a while."

"You know, now that I think of it, neither of us has dressed up as a policeman despite your handcuff fetish. Hmm… Oh don't worry there's no need for you to buy one, I know how tight your finances are. I can just illusion one up. We don't have to wash it afterwards either."

Gokudera flinches for a second, believing that the pineapple bastard had left already. But looking up, there he is, sitting directly across from him once more, a contemplative look on his face as he absently swings a pair of rather familiar handcuffs. A quick look over to Juudaime shows that he hasn't noticed… or can't… see… the damn bastard!

That was the one problem (or advantage sometimes) of having an illusionist as a lover, they knew your mind far too well and would create illusions with ease. The rest of the talk with Juudaime is one of the hardest things he'd had to do to date, he always wanted to do his best when around Juudaime, to be a competent and excellent right hand man, but that wasn't very easy when an illusion Juudaime couldn't see was telling him how exactly their activities tonight would be going.

Finally the meeting ends and Gokudera rushes off as quickly as possible, even if it might be slightly rude and out of character. He was going to go home and kick the shit out of Mukuro as soon as possible.

"I didn't realise that their relationship had gotten that interesting." Reborn comments, appearing out of the wall like usual, of course able to understand every single word Mukuro had said to Gokudera.

"Well I'm amazed that Gokudera could come up with an excellent strategy for the latest mission whilst being distracted the whole time. I'm also rather surprised that he managed to lie to me for two hours straight." Tsuna replies, looking over to Reborn. Whilst not understanding a word of Italian, his intuition clearly told him that something more was going on than what it appeared to be. But he just let it be because he didn't want to incur the wrath of either violate Guardian. Plus it was kind of funny to watch.

"Tut-tut Dame-Tsuna. I am not going to teach you Italian just so you can understand what they're going on about." Reborn says, smirking and lowering his fedora.

Tsuna blushes and splutters. "But I didn't say anything!" He protests.

Reborn just laughs and jumps off the table. "You didn't have to. I can read minds, remember."

So this was just a little bunny that attacked me last night and demanded to be written. I hope you liked it.

Phantom Hitman 1412

First Published 10 April 2013.