A/N - Hello, hope you all didn't mind the small wait for this chapter. I hope you all enjoy it.
Thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed, followed and favourited this story. It means so much.
A MASSIVE thank you to my new partner in crime, my beta Sheynondoah. She is amazing and really helped with the chapter.
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Chapter Three - Breathe Again
Elena couldn't sleep. Every time that she closed her eyes her mind would go into complete overdrive. The conversation that she had earlier with Esther was taunting her. Her words playing over and over in Elena's mind. She knew that she wouldn't be able to go through with this. Her run-in with Damon had made that more than obvious. She had no control over what she was saying.
Elena cringed as she thought about what she had said to Damon earlier. The image of his smirk was embedded in her memory and she was sure that it wouldn't be leaving her any time soon. She could tell that Damon was happy with her revelation; his reaction was more than enough proof. She read over his text again, the butterflies going crazy within her stomach. Elena knew this wasn't good. She shouldn't be feeling this way for him. She had been doing her best to fight it for so long and now it seemed like it had all been for nothing. The little bit of self-control that she did have around Damon had quickly been wiped away from her and now all she was left with was the truth. Her feelings for him would be plain to see for anyone who asked and there was nothing that she could do about it.
She knew she had a decision to make; she could give into her feelings, tell Damon how she really felt and probably end up being more in love than she had ever been in her entire life. Or she could do the smart thing; push him away. Elena had lost too many people that she loved within the past few years, being with Damon would only make him even more of a target than he already was. Damon would do anything for Elena and that meant making stupid reckless decisions based on his instinct to protect her. If they were together this would more than likely be intensified. Elena couldn't live with that. Elena sighed heavily, knowing that she would have to try her hardest to bring some distance between her and Damon.
The thought of hurting Damon was making Elena feel sick. She couldn't help but toss and turn in her bed as she imagined his beautiful smile slowly fading. The butterflies in her stomach had flown away and she was suddenly left with an emptiness that mirrored how she felt after she had lost her parents. She knew how hard this was going to be, she never wanted to hurt the people she cared about. She especially didn't want to hurt Damon.
Elena's emotions were all over the place and for once in her life she had no one to turn to. She began to sob, the weight of the situation taking control of her again. She didn't want this, she didn't want to push Damon away. But, she had to. She needed to keep a space between herself and the people she was closest to. The way Elena saw it, was that by keeping a distance she was actually protecting them. She had to make sure she didn't accidentally slip up and tell them what was happening. It would only end in them being taken away from her. All she had to do was go through with this plan and then everything could go back to normal.
Elena began to settle down once she was satisfied with her plan. She knew she had to go and see the Salvatore brothers tomorrow and she was not looking forward to it. She had complicated feelings for them both, which wasn't going to make any of this easier.
Elena stared at the huge house in front of her that had slowly become her second home. She had shared so many amazing memories with both Salvatore brothers in the boarding house. The ache that Elena had felt last night began again to slowly arise in her chest. She shook her head, reminding herself to keep it together. She knew that no matter what happened she had to keep a clear head. She had to focus on not letting herself be open to them. She didn't have to read their minds, she just needed to try and anger them enough so that they would leave her alone for a few hours. She had to go and see Klaus, and if any of them knew that she was going to see him she wouldn't be allowed out the front door. Her plan was to get this done as soon as possible. She wanted to get the information from Klaus and then get Esther to undo the spell. Simple…
Elena walked up the to the front door of the Salvatore boarding house and knocked gently, quietly preparing herself to face the two men behind it. Elena's heart began to quicken as she heard footsteps coming towards the door. She prayed it wasn't Damon, she wasn't sure if she could face him right away after what happened last night. She was sure as soon as she saw him that her face would turn a dark shade of red.
"Elena… you know you can just open the door and walk in, right?" Stefan asked as he answered the door, a small smile gracing his lips. Elena could see a big change in him since Klaus had set him free. She knew that he would never be like the old Stefan again, but she could sometimes still see glimmers of the old him shining through.
"I know, I just didn't know if you were busy or something," Elena answered, nervously. She was worried that the plan was going to fall through and she would cave within five minutes of talking to them.
"Busy? Well, trying to kill all of the Originals can be rather time consuming, but I'm sure we can spare you a few minutes," Stefan joked, opening the door wide for Elena to enter the house.
"You're different, you know…" Elena said softly, knowing that she was probably going too deep with conversation after only talking to Stefan for around ten seconds.
"So are you," Stefan replied simply, slightly taken aback by Elena's comment.
You don't look at me the same way anymore…not like how you look at Damon.
Elena twitched nervously as she heard Stefan's thoughts, but tried her hardest to ignore them. She didn't intentionally mean to look at Stefan any differently, but it was hard after everything that he had done. She knew she still loved him to some extent, but she also knew that it would never be enough.
"Well, I guess time can change you. You were gone all summer, Stefan. A lot of things happened that you just weren't here for." Elena was aware that this was the first time that they had both talked about what happened between them like mature adults. There was no shouting, no questions, just hard truths.
"I know and I'm sorry." Was all he could say in return. He wished that he could say so much more to her. But, how could he ever make her see what had really happened? He had shown her so many times over the last few months that he was a monster, he wasn't sure that they could ever come back from that.
"Anyway, is Damon here? I would like to talk to you both, if you don't mind?"
Of course she is here to see Damon. Why wouldn't she be? He's the one that has always been there for her, not me.
Elena was finding it hard to hear Stefan's thoughts. She didn't like the way he was bringing everything back to Damon. She didn't want him resenting that fact that she was closer to him now. He had been there for her through everything and he always protected her. Damon was the only person now that she ever felt truly safe around; it hadn't always been that way. But, he was there when she needed him most and that was what mattered.
"Sure. Just, come on through. I'm sure he's having a drink." Stefan shut the door behind Elena and followed her through to where Damon was sitting, a glass of bourbon in his hand.
"Twice in under 12 hours? Can you just not keep away from me or something? Seeing as I'm so hot and all that," Damon said loudly, his famous smirk gracing his lips. He was absolutely loving this.
Elena cringed for what felt like the hundredth time, she didn't think he would bring it up so soon. She wanted to say something horrible in reply. But, how could she? Elena looked over to where Damon was sitting and he was looking as incredible as always. His blue eyes shining brightly, his dark-raven hair a complete mess but somehow only making him look even more flawless. His black t-shirt was tight, only making the muscles on his body more visible. He was hot… and Elena knew it.
"You really are funny, Damon. Please, drop the subject," Elena groaned as she sat across from him. His eyes never left hers as he crooked his eyebrow, enjoying her reaction.
"Drop what subject? The one where you kept telling me how hot I was last night?" Damon asked innocently, looking over to Stefan to see his reaction.
This is going to be fun.
Elena glared at Damon, knowing he was only doing this to get a rise out of Stefan and to embarrass her. He really was a pain in the ass sometimes. Elena looked round to Stefan, he seemed confused..
"You just love doing this, don't you?" Elena asked, the anger still evident on her face.
"What? Telling the truth… Believe it or not I am known to do it from time to time," Damon replied, laughing softly as he did so.
"Damon, I've never known you to speak a word of the truth in your entire life," Stefan said angrily, clearly not enjoying the conversation between his elder brother and Elena.
"Elena, please enlighten my brother and tell him the truth," Damon smiled at Elena, knowing she would never repeat what was said the previous night.
"I don't know what you're talking about," Elena replied, trying to gain some control of the situation. She had to learn to be able to control what she was saying or she would never have a chance around Klaus.
"Liar, liar, pants on fire, Elena. Just tell Stefan what you said last night, for me, please?" Damon smiled sweetly, fluttering his eyebrows jokingly as he did.
Elena went to protest again, wanting to tell Stefan that nothing happened last night. She didn't like lying to him, but she didn't want to upset him. He had been through enough. She didn't want to confirm what he was thinking. They could still have a chance together. But, she could feel it again, the word vomit was about to take over and there was nothing that she could do to stop it.
"I called Damon hot last night… because he is hot, very hot." Elena's hand flew up to her mouth as she watched Damon choke and spit out his bourbon.
This can't be happening… it was always supposed to be me and her.
Elena jumped as she turned to look at Stefan, scared by the intensity of his thoughts. His face was paler than normal, his hands gripping the chair he was standing behind. She could tell he was angry. A part of her felt like he had no right to be. They hadn't been together in a long while and after everything he had done there was no way that she would ever trust him again. But, she also felt bad because this was the guy she used to love more than anything in the world. He had been through so much this year and even though all he had done was cause her pain, she wanted to make everything okay for him. She wanted him to be at peace again, especially with his brother. Elena was worried that this would just push them even further apart, just like what happened with Katherine.
"Well…um, yeah. That is exactly what happened," Damon said, clearly caught off guard by Elena's confession. He couldn't believe that Elena had told the truth. He had only been playing with her, trying to push her buttons around Stefan. Damon tried not to show it but he was ecstatic. He knew that it was a big step for Elena to tell him that, never mind saying it in front of Stefan. He knew this was a good sign. He knew she would always love Stefan, but hearing and seeing her act like this way was giving him hope.
"Well, not exactly… you, um also kissed me," Elena said really fast, wanting to tape her mouth shut. This wasn't going the way she wanted at all. She didn't know what to do, it was like the previous night all over again.
"You kissed? What, are you two together now or something?" Stefan asked loudly, the anger evident in his voice.
"No… I just kissed Elena to say thank you for last night. We're just friends, Stefan. You know she has like some weird, eternal love for you," Damon said sarcastically, wanting to defuse the situation but also remind himself of when Elena once told him that it would always be Stefan.
If only she felt that way about me…I love her so much.
Elena stared at Damon, completely forgetting that Stefan was in the room. Every time that she heard that he loved her, something inside Elena snapped. It took everything in her not to jump across the room and kiss him with everything that she had in her. She did have strong feelings for him, but it was those feelings that were keeping her away from him. She couldn't break the bond these brothers shared. She couldn't put any of them in anymore danger than they already were. It wasn't fair, it was just selfish.
"I… I need to get out of here." Stefan turned around, ready to leave. He couldn't stand being in the room any longer. He knew that Elena loved him, but he could also see that she felt something strong for Damon too. This was what he had dreaded all along; history repeating itself.
"Please, don't leave. I came here to talk to you both," Elena said quickly, wanting to get this over with as soon as possible. She had to try and remember the reason that she was here in the first place or all this embarrassment would have been for nothing.
Elena noticed Stefan reluctantly walk over and sit next to Damon. Both brother's eyeing her curiously, anxious to know what she was about to say.
"I need you both to give me some space for a while. I feel like I need to be alone and think about things. I can't see you both anymore," Elena sighed heavily, looking down as she did so. She couldn't look up and see their faces, she knew it would only make things harder.
"Well, I won't ever leave you alone… so there is no point in asking me that," Damon said angrily, annoyed at Elena's previous request. He had no idea where it had come from, seeing as things were going so well with them at the moment.
"Damon, I just need some time to myself. I need to think about things. I can't have you around me all the time. I can look after myself," Elena lied.
"Like that is ever going to happen. I'm never leaving you. End of conversation," Damon said sternly, getting up and pouring another drink then leaving the room before Elena could say another word.
Elena couldn't hear his thoughts and was more than certain that he was hurt by what she hasd just said. He was trying to shut her out… just like she wanted. She felt horrible for doing this and was finding that pushing Damon away was one of the hardest things she would ever have to do. Elena knew that they would never truly leave her alone, but she did need some time today to try and find out what she needed. Then, she could tell them everything.
"Why are you doing this? I will of course respect your wishes, even if I don't agree with them. But, it doesn't really make any sense, Elena…" Stefan knew better than to go against what Elena wanted. That would always be the one difference between him and his brother.
"I have my reasons. I don't mean forever, just while I sort a few things out." Elena was happy with the way that Stefan was taking the news. She had expected this from him. However, she wasn't happy at how Damon reacted; she knew that he would take more persuading.
"If that is what you want, then that's fine. You should probably go and speak to Damon though…" Stefan said softly as he stood up and walked away, not wanting to hear their conversation. He had heard enough for one day. He felt completely helpless, and much like Elena he needed time to himself.
Elena nodded, knowing that this conversation was probably going to be even harder than the one she had just shared. Elena walked to the back of the house and outside to the garden. She could see Damon sitting down on the grass, but instead of a glass of bourbon in his hand, he now had the full bottle.
Elena walked over to him, sitting next to him on the grass. She didn't know how she was going to start the conversation. Damon was never the easiest person to speak to, especially when he had his guard up.
"I thought you would have left… that's usually what happens after you say you don't want to see someone anymore." Damon focused on the tree ahead of him, scared to look Elena in the eye.
"Damon, I don't want to never see you again. I just need some Elena time. I feel like I count on you too much. I need to count on myself more. I'm just asking for some space, okay? Just for a few weeks," Elena pleaded, hoping Damon wouldn't make this any harder than it already was.
"Well, I need some Elena time too. Do you know how hard it is to go even a few hours without seeing you? I told you not long ago that I would never leave you again and I'm keeping that promise… whether you like it or not," Damon said huskily, as he finally turned round to face Elena.
"You can't talk like this, Damon… not after what happened last night" Elena said softly, her eyes zoning in on Damon's lips.
"You don't seem very upset about what happened last night, Elena. Why the big act?" Damon's hand came up to Elena's face, holding it softly.
"I-I just can't do this with you… it would make me like her, like Katherine." Elena, tried to pull away from Damon, knowing that being so close to him was going to affect her.
"You are nothing like Katherine, Elena. You're amazing. You're beautiful. You're perfect." Damon's lips were down dangerously close to Elena's. She knew that there was no way that she could possibly move away from him now. She felt like she was in a trance and she wasn't going to do anything but give into it.
"Damon…don't," Elena said with absolutely no conviction, moving her head so now Damon's lips were mere inches from her own.
Elena quickly jumped back as she heard her phone in her bag. She started searching through her bag, completely flustered by her near kiss with Damon. That would have been the third kiss in the last twenty-four hours and she knew that without even realising it, that things between her and Damon had drastically changed.
Elena finally found her phone and noticed that the text was from Esther. She turned away, so that Damon wouldn't be able to read it.
Come and see me at the house, I have come up with a plan – E
Elena sighed softly, she had wanted to go see Klaus and not have to deal with Esther until all of this was over.
"I need to go, Damon. I'll see you later." Elena quickly stood up, not wanting to explain herself to Damon.
"Wait, Elena… where are you going?" Damon stood up after her, the concern evident in his eyes.
"Caroline needs to see me, she has a girl situation going on," Elena lied.
"Okay, well, I'll see you later?" Damon said hopefully.
"I meant what I said, Damon. I need some time." Elena quickly turned round and walked away, not wanting to hear Damon's reply.
She quickly text Esther back, letting her know that she was on her way. She knew that she had to now focus on the task at hand, but her mind kept thinking back to the blue-eyed man she had left only moments ago.
Thank you all for reading. I hoped you enjoyed the chapter, please post a review.
To those who reviewed last chapter but don't have an account -
xoxo - Thanks for the review, I am glad you enjoyed it!
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Guest - I hope you enjoyed the next chapter! Thank you so much for the review. I am really glad you are enjoying the Delena scenes. I agree, Elena will be seeing a different side to both Damon and Stefan.
Guest - Thank you for the review. I am glad that you are enjoying it! Elena will see a new side to Damon and it will hopefully be very interesting. :)