A/N: I'm sorry if the Sand Siblings seem OOC, but it's really not supposed to be too serious – and anyway, I much prefer the idea that when they're not being serious formal Sand ninja they're just normal siblings.
"Temari!"
"What the hell?"
"Out of my way, I'm a girl, I go first!"
Her words were punctuated by the slam of the door in front of Gaara and Kankuro's faces. Gaara sighed and dropped his head, and Kankuro crossed his arms.
"She's gonna be in there forever." he huffed, and Gaara turned to lean on the outside of the bathroom door.
"She will be if she's plucking her eyebrows." he remarked, and before he could even react Gaara was thrust into his brother by the door.
"I heard that," Temari hissed, "and at least I have eyebrows to pluck." Gaara frowned and crossed his arms.
"Almost can't tell you're frowning. Kankuro, why don't you draw him some?" she turned and slammed the door again, Kankuro giving a small laugh. Gaara turned around and his scowl deepened.
"I was under the impression you were on my side." he muttered, and Kankuro shrugged.
"I was, but she makes a point." he remarked. Gaara shook his head and sat beside the bathroom door, Kankuro dropping his head back and giving a heaving sigh.
"So, why do you really need the bathroom first, Temari? Somewhere to be?" Kankuro mused.
Silence greeted them.
Kankuro's eyes flicked to Gaara's, and the redhead pushed himself to his feet to stand outside the door.
"Who is he?" Kankuro asked.
"Piss off." Temari replied.
"Charming, Temari. Tell us." he practically demanded, and once again he was shoved out of the way by his sister flinging the door open.
"It's nobody, so just shut up." she fumed, and Kankuro cocked an eyebrow.
"Is that why you're wearing that? You seem to have forgotten your pants, dear sister." Kankuro grinned facetiously, and Temari stormed towards him, grabbing his shirt and twisting it in her fist.
"Say it to my face." she hissed, but her aggression was broken by the door shutting behind them. They turned to see the bathroom door closed and their younger brother nowhere to be seen.
"Gaara!"
"I might be late tonight, so don't wait for me."
"Really? Where are you off to, anyway?" Gaara asked, and Temari frowned.
"Come on. We've got better things to do than follow you around, Temari. We have lives." Kankuro grinned, and Temari cocked an eyebrow.
"You spend all day with your stupid puppets." she remarked. Kankuro's face was frozen in shock.
"Don't you talk about them like that!" he exclaimed, and Temari clicked her tongue and rolled her eyes.
"I'm off to the Leaf on business. I don't know how long it'll take." she said. Kankuro and Gaara looked at one another and smirked.
"Alright, then." Gaara's tone was amicable, which in and of itself was confusing to Temari.
"O… Okay. I'm going." the kunoichi disappeared in a puff of smoke and Gaara shook his head.
"It was a mistake for her to tell us what she was doing." his grin was sly, and Kankuro sat forward.
"You mean who she's doing." he remarked, and Gaara recoiled, still a notion of disgust hanging around his sister doing anything like what his brother mentioned.
"I think we need to intervene." the redhead said. Kankuro nodded.
"We do. What are brothers for, after all?" he grinned, and a ghost of a smirk crossed Gaara's lips.
"We're just protecting her." he replied, and Kankuro gave his brother a small shove in the shoulder.
"That's the spirit. We'll give her a little bit of time to, y'know," Kankuro rolled his eyes, "get to her business in the Leaf."
"And then we should go and do our brotherly duties." Gaara added. Kankuro nodded insistently.
"Indeed, Gaara." he remarked.
"When do you need to be back?"
"When do you want me to leave?" the blonde sitting on the bed raised her eyebrows and smirked, leading the ninja across from her to cross his arms and shrug.
"I'm not entirely sure," Shikamaru remarked, "but if you leave, we can't-"
"Shikamaru."
Temari's eyes widened as Shikamaru shrieked, Gaara on one side of him and Kankuro on the other.
"How you doing, Shikamaru?" Kankuro slapped his hand down hard on Shikamaru's shoulder, and the ninja tried desperately not to wince.
"Uh… fine?" he tried not to whimper.
"Seems like very important business you're up to with my sister." Gaara said, and beads of sweat rolled down Shikamaru's forehead, his breathing shallow.
"Uh, yeah, we were just…"
"Leaving." Temari stood from the bed and scowled at her brothers, walking towards the three men in the room with her.
"Shikamaru, wait outside." she hissed.
"But-"
"Wait outside."
Shikamaru didn't need to be told twice, and he turned sharply to leave the room, leaving Temari with her smug-looking brothers.
"What is your problem?!" she screeched.
"Business, Temari? Really?" Kankuro asked, and Temari swung her arm and slapped him upside the head.
"It doesn't matter what I'm doing! I don't tell you what I'm doing because you pull stunts like this!" she exclaimed. Gaara frowned.
"We're just looking out for you, Temari!" he replied, and Temari leant down to look eye-to-eye with Gaara.
"Well, get this, little brother," her tone was condescending, "I'm a big girl! I can see who I want to see, go where I want to go and do what I want to do!" Gaara was taken aback at her words and she stood up.
"I will respect and follow you as Kazekage, but I will not let you control my life." she hissed, and Kankuro's smirk was his demise.
"Oh, don't you start," Temari growled, "because I bet this was your idea."
"I don't care who you sleep with, Temari. Whatever floats your boat." he remarked, and Temari clenched her fists and shoved past her brothers, Gaara turning to Kankuro and cocking an eyebrow.
"They aren't sleeping together." he said.
"We are!"
Gaara's eyes widened and his mouth fell open slightly.
"Oh, God." he screwed up his face, and Kankuro sighed and grasped Gaara's shoulder.
"Well," he remarked, "that went well."
"They just piss me off!"
"I noticed."
Temari sighed and pushed her ramen to the side to rest her head on her hands. Shikamaru glanced to the side.
"You're not helping." Temari remarked.
"They were just trying to help." Shikamaru replied, and Temari shook her head.
"No. They were trying to butt in, as usual." she huffed. Shikamaru shrugged.
"They're your brothers. They want to protect you." he replied. Temari cocked an eyebrow in response, rolling her eyes.
"Have you met them?" she asked.
"Uh, yes, then did ambush me in my own bedroom just before." Shikamaru replied, and even Temari gave a small laugh at that.
"That was pretty damn funny." she remarked.
"Hilarious on this end too, yeah." Shikamaru shook his head, and Temari sighed.
"They're idiots," she said, "but they're my idiots." Shikamaru decided it was best not to question her logic and simply nodded.
"Sure." he said, and Temari sighed and stood from her seat.
"I gotta go," she said, smoothing her clothes down, "but I owe you." Shikamaru raised his eyebrows and a smirk crossed his features.
"Owe me what?" he asked, and Temari walked towards him and gently cupped his jaw.
"Nothing, if you're that oblivious." she smirked, and Shikamaru frowned.
"Oh, come on. If you can't take that then you can't handle me." she smirked, and Shikamaru gave a small smile.
"I can handle you." he remarked.
"You haven't seen the half of it." she stepped back and Shikamaru shrugged. Temari smirked and farewelled the ninja again before disappearing.
She had some idiots to speak to.
"Oh, look who's returned. Thought you were going to be late." Kankuro remarked. Temari exhaled and stood against the door frame.
"I want to talk to you two." she said.
"Oh, God, you're not pregnant, are you?" Kankuro asked.
"No! God, Kankuro, I could smack you." she cried.
"What is it?" Gaara asked, and Temari sighed, folding her arms and glancing at her brothers.
"Maybe I… over-reacted a little before." she muttered, and Kankuro grinned as he sat himself forward, Gaara glancing at Temari.
"Are you… apologising?" Gaara asked, incredulously.
"No, I just… it occurred to me that you might have been trying to help." she remarked.
"You mean your genius boyfriend told you that, right?" Kankuro asked.
"… Shut up, Kankuro." she scowled, and Kankuro laughed.
"Yeah, yeah." he brushed her comment off and Gaara sighed.
"We do care about you, Temari." he said, and Temari sighed and sat herself down.
"I know, I just… I'm fine on my own. I don't need you watching my back." she said.
"It isn't just about that, Temari. We don't want you to get hurt." Gaara stated.
"I'm not going to get hurt," she replied.
"If anyone's getting hurt, it's that Shikamaru kid." Kankuro remarked, and Temari rolled her eyes.
"You guys scared the shit out of him." she couldn't help but give a small laugh, and Kankuro and Gaara smirked.
"Lucky we came when we did. We were outside for a minute before we popped in…" Gaara remarked, and Temari's eyes widened.
"When do you want me to leave?" Gaara imitated his sister, and Kankuro laughed.
"I don't know, but if you leave, we can't…" Kankuro took the place of Shikamaru and Temari scowled at the both of them.
"Do we need to have the talk, Temari?" Kankuro asked.
"I'm older than you!" she exclaimed. Kankuro smirked, and after a moment, a tiny laugh erupted from his mouth. Gaara's smile was wide, and Temari shook her head, a smirk threatening to appear on her face.
"Yeah," she sighed, "you're my idiots."