Chapter 1

Mithian moving in was what started it all. Sort of. She was probably the catalyst. Completely innocent in that, well, she wasn't deliberate with her actions. See, if Merlin had had the balls to make words of his thoughts and actions of his longings, maybe things would've been different for him.

When Mithian moved in with Gwen and Merlin in their last year of uni, the three of them became inseparable. It had been almost six years since they had seen each other. Mithian originally grew up with Merlin and Gwen back in Ealdor. Her family moved when they were sixteen and, yes, even though the promise to keep in touch was ever so fervent in their goodbyes, busy schedules in their adolescence caused them to drift apart.

Of course they checked in every year or so, and when Mithian called with the news that she was transferring to Camelot University, Merlin was of course delighted and he immediately invited her to stay with him and Gwen.

Mithian had grown out of her awkward and jaded teenaged body over the years. In its stead was a lady full of grace (for which Merlin was envious because, seriously, his grace percentile was zero). Although Merlin couldn't really indulge in the female form due to his lusting after men, he knew she was a jaw dropper for both men and women. Gay or straight.

And when Mithian said she could cook, well, Merlin decided she would never leave. He was rather certain he would contract scurvy if he continued down the road of constant Mac'N'Cheese.

She moved in at the beginning of second semester. Christmas had passed with that bittersweet ending, and the coldness of new classes set a chill in every student's bones.

She settled in nicely and they decided that on their first night as roommates, the three of them would watch movies and pig out on popcorn. The duration of their night was spent laughing at Merlin as he sobbed over the happy endings and throwing popcorn at each other. It ended with them comfortably passing out on the couch.

When a knock roused Merlin from his food coma, he was certain he had a hangover equivalent. Never would he eat that much chocolate and popcorn and tea. A food baby was sure to take residence in his stomach for the next week. His neck was quirked at an awkward angle and he was face down on his couch, limbs sprawled out. Gwen's head lay on the incline of his bottom while Mithian had curled up below Merlin's feet.

Another impatient knock made him grimace, and he lifted his bum a bit to get his hands under Gwen's head, slide away gently, and place her down.

Merlin padded his way to the door, noting in the passing mirror that his hair was sticking up at all sorts of angles, his clothes were rumpled, and there was a rather curious brown stain on his shirt.

He opened the door and stopped short, suddenly wishing he had showered, shaved, dressed formally, and applied cologne.

"Uhm, Arthur." He said unintelligently. "Hi."

Arthur, leaning against the doorframe with his arms folded in front of him, gave Merlin a once over and smirked. "Don't you look pretty."

Merlin flushed and rubbed the back of his neck. "Erm… can I- can I help you with something?"

"Yes, as a matter of fact, you can. See, I'm supposed to have a study session with your beloved Guinevere to prepare for our diagnostic test on Monday."

Merlin raised his eyebrows. "Diagnostic test?"

Arthur nodded, obviously weary of having to continuously explain the absurdity of a test on the first day of new term. "Yes, yes, I know." He waved his hand in the air. "Professor Kilgarrah is a wanker." He huffed and looked at Merlin expectantly. "Are you going to let me in or am I to stare at that hideously dirty shirt all morning?"

Merlin deadpanned. "Prat," He muttered, stepping to the side to let Arthur in. "Don't mind the floor. It's a little messy."

Arthur cast a look of disdain over the popcorn peppered floor. "Had a slumber party?" He asked condescendingly.

Indignant, Merlin jutted his chin out. "I happen to like slumber parties."

"Yes, I'm well aware of your inability to sleep by yourself. If I do recall correctly, you spent the majority of your time whining about Gwen's absence last year."

Merlin grinned sheepishly at him. "I don't think I whined about it. I just might've casually mentioned my dislike of isolation."

"You whined like a girl, Merlin." Arthur said, waving him off. "I heard you complain about your plight - and I use that term very loosely - endlessly."

Merlin scowled. "Was just trying to make casual conversation." He grumbled. "Gwen," Merlin called. "Gwen wake up."

There was a groan, but not much else. Merlin walked back to the couch and shook her rather violently. "Gwen. Gwen! Arthur's here."

Gwen squinted at him with a pout before processing his words. She quickly sat up with a gasp and a glance at her watch.

"Oh! Arthur I'm so sorry!"

"It's quite alright, Guinevere. Take all the time you need."

"I just need to get dressed and wash my face, I'll-" She flitted about, mumbling to herself before running into her room.

Merlin walked to the kitchen, where Arthur followed, and grabbed two mugs.

"Tea?"

With Arthur's nod, Merlin put on the hot water and took out his box of teas.

"Tetley?" Arthur asked, incredulous.

Merlin paused and looked at him. "Yeah?"

At this, Arthur scoffed. "What kind of Englishman are you?"

"Well excuse me, Mr. Rich-Father-CEO-of-Whatsitsface, but I live on a part time wage at the café next door. Forgive me for not providing you your cup of Darjeeling."

Arthur laughed and looked at him as if he were a child. And Merlin felt childish.

The two of them… well they weren't best friends, but their other friends happened to be friends with each other, so they sort of got caught in the middle and treaded through. Arthur and Merlin had shared some classes, and it was nice for Merlin to actually have someone to sit with. They had studied together the odd time; Arthur had made fun of Merlin whenever he got an answer wrong. And once in a while they'd go out to bars with their other friends. But that was the extent of their friendship. Like, Merlin would never invite him to movie night and expose his (semi) secret love of hopeless romantic movies. Only Gwen was privy to that, simply because she, too, cried at the end of every movie.

Arthur met Merlin in their third year, but Merlin knew (sort of) Arthur from the very first day. He was hard to miss; his blonde hair and deep eyes caught every students' attention. Merlin could write sickening poetry about Arthur's eyes if he wanted to. And fuck, did he want to. For the first two years, Merlin watched Arthur (in the most un-stalkerish of ways). Out of habit, his eyes automatically snapped to Arthur whenever he entered a room. Like he had an Arthur Radar.

But evidently, his Gaydar was in need of some tweaking. Because yes, Arthur went on dates with a lot of girls. And yes, Merlin knew he wasn't gay. But, nevertheless, his crush flourished over the years and remained a constant fluttering in his stomach. His awkwardness only intensified the slight nausea he felt around Arthur. Because, after they met, he not only became the butt end of all Arthur's jokes, he had also earned himself the title of being a "complete and total idiot."

Still though, Arthur talked to him. So Merlin wasn't about to complain.

The water boiled and Merlin served the tea, milk and sugar awaiting on the counter. As he stirred his tea, he attempted to make casual conversation again.

"So this test…" He said dumbly. "What is it?"

Arthur cast him a patronizing look. "I'm hopeful even you know what an exam is, Merlin, because if not, then how have you managed for all these years?"

Merlin flushed and took a gulp of his tea. It burned all the way down and it made him cringe. "You know what I mean, you prat."

Amused, Arthur brought the mug up to his lips, said, "Linguistics," and took a sip.

Merlin made a face. "Sounds dull." He heard Mithian begin to stir on the couch.

Arthur hummed. "It can be. But-" He stopped short, the mug halfway to his mouth, looking across the room.

Merlin followed his gaze and saw Mithian, stretching out the stiffness of early morning.

"Who," Arthur set down his mug, "is that?"

"That's uh," A sinking feeling swam down Merlin's stomach. "That's Mithian. A transfer student from Cambridge." He ducked his head down behind his mug, suddenly feeling strange.

Arthur let out a breathy laugh. "Well good on you, mate!" And clapped Merlin on the back. Tea jumped out of his mug and dribbled a scalding path down his fingers.

"Ow! Shit Arthur-" Merlin chastised and looked up, but Arthur was already across the room, sticking his hand out to Mithian.

"Hi," Arthur said, his voice dulcet. He flashed a smile at Mithian, suave and knee weakening. "I'm Arthur."

"Hi there," Mithian reached her hand out tentatively. A blush crept its way into her cheeks. "Mithian."

Arthur's charm wafted its way over to Merlin and he felt his face contort in disgust. Flirty Arthur was one Merlin didn't like to see. He turned his body away and leaned against the counter, trying to ignore the conversation, all the while hoping to hear every word.

Gwen emerged from her room looking clean, albeit a bit tired, and made her way over to join Merlin. As she poured herself some tea, she noticed Arthur and Mithian chatting animatedly. She smiled gently to herself and added sugar. Merlin stood, brooding over his mug, not looking at either of them.

When Arthur laughed obnoxiously and Mithian tinkered annoyingly, Gwen raised her eyebrows and cast a coy smile over to Merlin.

"They seem to be getting along nicely." She commented. Merlin snorted and tossed a look over his shoulder.

"I suppose," he said petulantly. Gwen gave him a strange look, almost disapproving.

"What is it?"

Merlin downed the rest of his tea and felt his insides protest from the heat. He suppressed a grimace. "Nothing." He said lightly.

Gwen looked at him suspiciously once more before turning to Arthur and Mithian. "Arthur,"

The two of them looked over at Gwen and Merlin noticed just how much closer their bodies were. His stomach twisted unpleasantly.

"Sorry to break up the lovely idle chat, but we can leave to study, now." Then she added hastily, "not that I'm trying to rush you, of course."

Arthur's gaze flickered over to Mithian before reaching Gwen again. "You know, Guinevere," he said matter-of-factly, "I think we should get breakfast first." He clapped his hands together and looked at Mithian. "Would you care to join?"

Mithian blushed cutely and nodded. "Yes," she smiled brilliantly. "I'd like that."

The three of them shrugged on their coats before Gwen turned to him. "Would you like to come along?"

"Uh," Merlin looked up at the other two, who had struck up another conversation. "No. No, that's alright."

Gwen frowned. "You know I'm going to be the third wheel here, right? Are you really going to let me be the dreaded third wheel all on my own?"

Merlin looked thoughtful. "Tricycles aren't that bad."

Gwen pretended to look offended while she was ushered out the door with Arthur and Mithian.

The door closed, and Merlin sunk.

"So he's taking her out to breakfast, so what?"

"Will," Merlin said, gripping his phone tighter. "You should've seen the way he looked at her. He practically sprinted across the room to get to her."

"Arthur hits on anything that has legs, Merlin. He's always been a bit of a-"

"Charmer?" Merlin offered.

"I was gonna say man-whore, but yeah, sure, let's go with that."

"He is not a man-whore," Merlin protested, suddenly feeling protective of Arthur's honour.

"Merlin, you barely know the guy!"

"That's not true!"

"Oh, I'm sorry. The first two years of uni you spent pining after him like a stalker and not once did he notice you. And only when Gwen started dating Lance did you two indulge in casual banter and name calling. Does that sound like a close friendship to you?"

Merlin huffed. "Well it's not like you're nice to me."

"That's different," Will said. Merlin could practically hear him placing a hand over his heart, humbled. "I am the only one who can insult you, as we have been mates for life and I have earned that honour."

"I'm touched."

"Look, Merlin," Will was struggling with his words; a typical occurrence for his best mate. "Look, even if it doesn't work out with this Mithian girl. Okay? Pretend he never manages to find a woman to settle down with. Do you really think he'd just turn into a knobgobbler?"

Merlin frowned. "You know, I don't think I approve of that word."

Will harrumphed. "Answer the question."

It took about five seconds for Merlin to heave a sigh into the phone and flop on his bed. "No. It's highly unlikely."

"Right." There was an attempted gentler tone. "So just try to get over it, okay?"

"You still haven't gotten over Elena and it's been more than five months!" Merlin shot back.

"That is different; she and I are soul mates. And she will know this. Once she stops shagging that Valiant guy."

Merlin snorted. "Yeah well, good luck with that."

"You too," Will challenged. "Try getting that arse of yours out to meet some more poofs."

"Just because you know a few gay people doesn't mean you can start calling us those names."

Will chuckled. "Can so, mate. I really like the word knobgobbler."

"You're a downright prick, you carpet-muncher."

"See, now, why would you say that? That's just cruel." Will feigned his heartache and Merlin laughed. He heard the door open to his flat and he hastily dismissed Will and hung up.

He attempted nonchalance as he trudged out of his room, hands deep in his pockets. When he saw the state Mithian was in he heaved a sigh. She looked about ready to twirl like a clichéd princess. Gorgeous, radiant, way too fucking happy, and almost sickening.

"Good breakfast?" Merlin asked, trying his best to sound casual.

"Merlin," Mithian began. She looked like she was about to burst from joy. It was hateful. "Arthur is…"

Biting his lip, Merlin fidgeted his way over to the kitchen and took out a mug. Tea therapy.

"Yeah, he's -"

"Oh my God! He is wonderful!" She gushed. "So charming, so gorgeous and his eyes, Merlin. Have you seen his eyes?"

Merlin closed his. Yes. Yes he had seen them. Had dreamed of them. Had stared at them. Knew every shade according to every mood.

"Uh, I guess."

"He and I are going out to dinner tonight." She squealed. "Me! Can you believe it?"

Merlin shrugged as he made his cup of tea. He turned around and leaned against the counter. "Good for you, Mith."

Mithian did a small dance on the spot and Merlin couldn't help the grin that bloomed. Poor sod; she was so smitten. She giggled and sidled up beside him, pouring herself a cup.

"So tell me," she said as she tugged repeatedly on the string of her tea bag. "What's he like?"

Merlin's smile slid away from his face.

Well, this was an opportunity. Merlin could tell her how awful he was. How rude. And sadistic. That he collected peoples' underwear. Had no regard for others' feelings. Spent his life as a con. Had broken from prison and was on the run. Anything.

He didn't want her to go out with him. It was unfair and unjust. Every single guy he ever liked was either straight or thought him odd looking (isn't that just the way?). He couldn't just have this one?

It's not like he thought himself a catch. His big dumb ears got caught on his shirt whenever he tried to remove it, which wasn't very sexy when he pictured the moment he'd strip in front of someone. And his hair was always sticking up. He was lanky, too, and gauntly pale. Why on Earth would someone like Arthur even consider him?

But still - Mithian. She was one of those girls who always got what she wanted. Granted, she worked for a lot of it. But some of it came to her naturally and on a fucking silver platter. And although Merlin was never really the jealous type, the idea of Mithian and Arthur dating sent an angry fire coursing through his veins. He felt abhorrent.

"Arthur? Well he's…" He tried to scoff. Make him seem typical. But the look on Mithian's face. Oh God… so hopeful and earnest. Her trust was in his hands and he couldn't abuse it. He sighed and set his mug on the counter. "He's amazing."

Mithian's eyes lit up. Like, actually sparkled. "Really?"

"Yeah," he nodded. "His father owns this really big company and Arthur was supposed to inherit everything. But he eventually told his father he wasn't going to pursue business; he was going to study English."

She smiled blindingly. Merlin carried on, strained. "He's majoring in Literature right now. I think he's interested in being a professor, but he's still unsure."

Mithian's eyebrows raised, impressed. Merlin gnawed on his lip before flapping his arms awkwardly. "His father was pissed at first, but he sort of eased off and told Arthur he would pay for tuition under a few conditions. So Arthur studies like mad to get the best grades and prove to his father that he made the right choice."

Her smile split through her face and, with reluctance, Merlin continued. "His favourite colour is red, he really doesn't like seafood. He likes action movies but has a secret love for the sappy ones. He's a bit of an arse sometimes. A bit… supercilious. But he's actually really loyal and kind."

Mithian beamed. "He sounds incredible."

"Erm… yes. Well I s'pose." Rubbing his neck, Merlin swiveled to grab his mug and make a beeline for his room.

"Merlin?"

He stopped short, inhaling deeply and turning around with a forced grin on his face.

"Do you think he likes me?"

Another opportunity for sabotage. The petty Merlin way deep inside screamed at him to say she wasn't his type. But the real Merlin softened. "Of course he likes you, Mithian. He doesn't interrupt his study time for just anyone."

At this point, Mithian looked like she was about to cry from joy. Awkwardly, Merlin gestured to his room and muttered, "gotta study." He shut the door and released a breath.

Fuck.

Mithian spent about an hour getting ready for her date with Arthur. She kept changing and unchanging and changing again. Merlin was starting to get whiplash from her bipolar decisions. From "too slutty?" to "too casual?" and "prudish?"

Each time Merlin told her she looked fine. But, "Fine isn't good enough, Merlin!" so he kept silent and let Gwen help when she returned from her study session. Lance was with her, his arm curled around her waist. After a brief introduction, Mithian had whisked Gwen away and Lance made himself at home on their couch next to Merlin.

"What's going on?" He asked, referring to the giggling girls. Merlin shrugged, fingering his notebook's spine and refusing to make eye contact.

"Date." He muttered. Clearly he didn't want to talk about it, and Lance, bless him, picked up on that.

It was silent for a moment before Gwen emerged with Mithian in a pencil skirt and a frilly top. "Lance?"

Her boyfriend looked up and smiled.

"Does she look datable?" Gwen asked, before adding jokingly, "and try not to be too emphatic about it."

Lance laughed. "Mithian you look lovely." His smile remained as he got up and walked over to Gwen. "You look lovely, too," he said with a kiss. Gwen blushed.

Mithian gasped with sudden emergence. "We need to pick out shoes, too."

"Alright," Gwen pushed her back into the room and called over her shoulder, "Lance, if we're still not ready by the time Arthur comes, just let him in."

The smile fell from Lance's face. He turned to Merlin, sympathy contorting his features. Merlin sighed and hunched over his notebook.

"Oh."

Merlin felt Lance walk slowly to the couch and sit down beside him. Lance and Will were the only ones who knew about Merlin's pathetic crush. Will knew because he literally beat it out of him and Lance knew because that man was so irritatingly intuitive.

"Are you alright?" He asked softly.

Merlin shrugged, playing it off as nothing. He turned his head up to Lance with a small smile. "Yeah, of course. Fine. It's just a date."

Lance nodded before bumping shoulders with Merlin, offering comfort. "I'm sorry."

"It's nothing," Merlin said, his voice a few pitches higher than normal. "Really Lance it's fine." He wriggled from Lance's touch and closed his books. "I think I'll just go to bed. M'tired."

Attempting a reassuring smile, Merlin closed the door behind him.

Ten minutes later, he could hear Arthur's obnoxious knocking, the girls squealing, the men shaking hands, the inquiry of Merlin's whereabouts, and Lance's wonderful excuse along the lines of "he's not feeling so well".

Merlin sighed. He was being ridiculous. It was just one date. It wasn't as if they were serious. Arthur had had lots of dates in his years at uni. Just...never this quickly. Arthur was always a cautious man when it came to relationships. He jumped from date to date, breaking girls' hearts from his rejections after he realized he couldn't get involved. He wasn't one of those guys that looked for a quick shag and moved on. Arthur just seemed bound, somehow. Guarded. Merlin supposed that was what made him so alluring, so mysterious.

He had never seen Arthur move that quickly toward a girl though.

Shaking his head, Merlin forced himself to focus on his preassigned work. His hand worked its way through his hair multiple times; a habit he developed from stress.

He heard Lance and Gwen leave the flat an hour later, probably out for a walk. They'd be home soon and maybe then would Merlin be up for a distraction.

Merlin couldn't sleep. It was two in the bloody morning and Mithian was not home yet.

"Go to sleep, Merlin," he murmured to himself. "Sleep, fuck's sake." But it did not come because the world worked like that with Merlin. He heaved a sigh and violently flipped over onto his other side. His bed squeaked in protest and he groaned into his pillow.

He proceeded to busy himself by reading a book. But his thoughts constantly swerved back to Arthur and Mithian like an obsessed fangirl. He wasn't even sure what book he was reading by the time he reached the third chapter. So he slammed it shut and picked his laptop up from the floor and sifted through the internet. Merlin even tried to indulge in some porn, but wanking while thinking about Arthur while he was on a date just seemed perverse.

Finally, at around three in the morning, the door opened rather loudly and Mithian and Arthur blundered through. She was giggling at something and he was suppressing his laughter with hushes.

Merlin, like a dog hearing a whisper, perked his head up and hovered at his door.

"...nervous for my first day."

"Well I can show you around campus on Monday, if you'd like." Arthur offered. Prat.

"I wouldn't want to be a bother," Mithian said. Merlin rolled his eyes at her poor attempt at passivity.

"Not at all," Arthur said, his posh accent causing Merlin to frown. "In fact, I insist. You have no choice in the matter."

Mithian laughed. "A bit presumptuous, isn't it? What makes you think I'd like you to show me around?" She was setting herself up for what Merlin knew was inevitably going to come next.

He heard nothing and knew what that meant. Could feel the post-kiss haze that enriched the air. It was fast, he realized. But that was how university students worked sometimes.

"Fuck," he breathed. Merlin rested his head against his door and closed his eyes.

"Oh," Mithian exhaled. "Well if you insist…"

Arthur laughed softly and they murmured their farewells. The door clicked behind him and Merlin retreated to the confines of his bed. Only after Mithian's sighs evaporated into the mist of dozing did he fall into a restless sleep.