Title: Ethereal
Dedicated to: lostdreamz82
Author: Anae
Beta: lostdreamz82. Thank you so much, dear, for being my very own Tsubasa-wiki and listening the ramble of the fic process and it's problems, not the mention the beta-reading itself. I can't thank you enough. (Even though I'll be wearing pinkish dress just for the sake of being Mokona to your Fai in the next Autumn.)
Fandom: Tsubasa Chronicle
Characters/pairing: Kurogane/Fai
Rating: PG-13 / T
Spoilers: Some slight mentions of arcs thorough the manga
Disclaimer: Unfortunately, I don't own neither Kuro nor Fai. If I did, there would've been more vampire scenes and the pairing would be official. I don't own the song either - it belongs to AFI, and it's called "Kiss my eyes and lay me to sleep".
Summary: During long journeys, there are mistakes, misunderstandings, hardships, but you can make it through as long as you have someone by your side. You might not realize the importance of that someone immediately, but when you do, you have two choices; to push that person away or hold him closer. But it's not only your choice - it's his as well.
A/N: My very first Tsubasa fic. I only got into the series recently, thanks to my lovely beta, and couldn't miss the interaction between Kuro and Fai. I love the two characters (and Mokona), and my beta loves them even more. For the sake of the characters, this fic and for my dear beta, I put a lot effort into this piece of fiction. It's cut in three pieces because it turned out to be longer than I expected, but worry not, the rest will be up soon.
If you end up reading this, I hope you leave a review to say that you were there. Thorns and roses are also more than appreciated, since like I said, this is my first fic of the fandom. Anyway, hope you enjoy.

Chapter I - Naïve

"This is what I thought,
so think me naïve"

"Even if he smiles, from now on, that doesn't mean he has accepted it."

"I understand."

It wasn't before Fai woke up that the ninja realized how absolutely wrong he had been.

"Good morning, Kurogane."

One word.

One word was enough to throw Kurogane off balance. He hadn't expected everything to be fine, not after what he'd done – saved the idiot's life by becoming his prey. He had expected a false smile – which was there, playing on magician's lips, even now – and… Kurogane didn't know what, but definitely not to be addressed by his full name.

Despite how many times he had told Fai to call him normally – so often that it was nothing but a bad joke anymore – for the mage to actually do that, after all they had been through together… It hurt.

Like hell.

After exchanging a few empty, meaningless words with the newly born vampire, Kurogane took his leave, leaving the magician to himself – surely Fai had some thinking to do, it wasn't every day that you got your eyeball plunged out by someone who was supposed to be your comrade and as a result, instead of having your death wish granted, you were turned into a vampire, with your supposed friend as your prey. Yeah – Fai might want to now think about what exactly happened and what threw everything into the state of chaos, everything – this world, their bonds – was in.

Kurogane had his time to dwell on it already – he knew better than to stare into the past, to stay blind to the passing moment – but he needed to chew this change in the magician's attitude a bit.

It didn't take a genius to understand that Fai was putting distance between them, forcefully pushing Kurogane away – probably to protect him from ghosts of the magician's past – but whatever it was, it didn't change the fact that their bonds were being changed.

Or rather, carefully being ripped apart.

Once upon a time, princess Tomoyo had told Kurogane that words could cut deeper than any sword – it wasn't before today that he understood the meaning of those words.

Because no sword possibly could cut this deep without killing.

After leaving Tokyo, the four of them arrived in Infinity and ended up taking part in human chess – dangerous as it was, they still didn't have that much to worry about; the three of them could fight and Sakura was more set on her chosen task than ever.

However, their bonds were severed – separation had made its way to their group, damaging everything and everyone. Seeing how awkward and hurt Sayoran and Sakura were around each other, Kurogane and Fai came to a silent understanding – their bond might've not been the same as before, but it didn't mean they didn't agree about protecting the kids as much as they possibly could. Fai looked after the fragile princess and Kurogane did his best to reassure the kid that all this, wasn't his fault, and that things weren't beyond repair.

Even if it felt that they were.

Fai still did speak to Kurogane – not that he had much of a choice, they were all in this mess together – but things had changed. Fai had completely stopped calling Kurogane by weird names – now the mage only addressed the ninja with his full name.

It bothered Kurogane more than he'd ever admit, but some things couldn't be helped. Like the fact that the magician was now a vampire – not irreversibly, thank heavens – but that he needed to drink blood in order to survive, and for better or for worse, only Kurogane's blood would suffice.

It was a thing they hadn't spoken a word about. Both of them had let it drop – for too long, Kurogane realized this one night, when he found Fai sitting back next to the wall.

"What's wrong?"

There was no answer, just a shaky headshake. Fai's light bangs were covering his face and he was breathing heavily – Kurogane was about to call the mage, but instead took a look outside from the window. It was a beautiful, quiet night with no stars in the sky – the whole view of the city sky was painted dark blue, almost black – if not for the pale light from the full moon shining down onto the sleeping town.

Before Kurogane had a chance to say anything though, Fai had pushed himself up from the floor. The mage's back was presented to the ninja as he spoke, hand still on the wall for support. "Everything is fine, Kurogane."

Fai had time to take exactly two steps before Kurogane spoke. "Oh really?" Soft noise echoed in the silent room, and suddenly, Fai's emotions and feelings were overruled by alien sensations, all because of one thing.

The smell of blood. It overruled everything - he wanted to see and touch and feel and taste…

Fai slumped back against the wall and down to the floor, eyes squeezed shut and hand on his mouth – as if to bury the bloodlust stirring inside. Fai opened his one eye – now golden and serpent-like, a vampire's eye – to glare at Kurogane. He realized his mistake in seconds; he couldn't look away from the dark, red liquid that was trailing down on ninja's wrist, dropping to the floor soundlessly, slowly building a pond there. To human, it was almost soundless – but in vampire's ears, it was more like someone banging on a door.

"Liar", Kurogane said, without any malice in his voice and walked closer, only to see Fai trying to back down, desperately trying to wish the wall gone so he could do what he was used to – to run away. "Just drink."

"No."

It was a desperate, forced sound which was barely understandable – having his hand on top of his mouth it was smothering his speech. Kurogane said nothing, just stretched out his hand more – a headshake was his answer.

The ninja had never had much patience and the little he had was wearing thin – the mage was just an idiot to deny his body's needs – especially when he couldn't even tear his golden eye away from the blood that was slowly flooding from the self-inflicted wound.

"Don't be an idiot", Kurogane snapped, his good hand hitting the wall next to Fai's head as mage winced, effectively blocking any escape route there might've been. "What do you think will happen if one of us gets injured during matches?"

"I can hold it in. It's not that bad during the day."

It was a weak argument, almost a lie, and they both knew it.

"When you can't even look away from this?" Kurogane moved his hand, and Fai's only eye followed. Shame filled the golden eye before it was squeezed shut. "If you keep this up, you'll end up hurting someone", Kurogane told the other bluntly – the mage didn't care for his own life, so bringing up the fact that he'd die if he'd drink someone else than Kurogane's blood was pointless. But the idiot did care for their companions. A lot. "In worst case, the kid. Or the princess."

Fai's eye flew open, and Kurogane met possibly the most honest, scared gaze that he had ever seen – and he was a man who had seen and killed many. "I'd never…"

"When you can't even look away?"

The mage flinched as if he'd been hit.

It was a low blow to bring up the kids, especially the princess, but Kurogane had no plans in letting the magician die, not after all they've been through. Plus his patience was really wearing thin – Fai had always been good at testing his limits, willingly or not – and this farce had gone on long enough.

Kurogane lifted his bleeding wrist to Fai's face, red eyes looking at the golden one, deserting between the ninja's red eyes and the red liquid floating from his wrist. "Drink", Kurogane told him with a commanding tone – there was no room left for arguments.

Fai glanced the ninja before obeying – then he pressed his lips on the bleeding wrist. With one hand, he held Kurogane's wrist in place while the other held Kurogane's arm as he licked, tip of the tongue barely touching. It was an alien sensation for both of them – not to mention Fai never wanted to do any of this – so the mage was set on just licking a couple of drops and then leaving, but the hunger grew as he tasted blood. After all, he had been in the state of self-inflected starvation for far too long.

Fueled by need, his movements became more purposeful – his lips pressed on the wrist, sucking the liquid, his tongue moved over the sensitive skin to gather the drops.

For his surprise, Kurogane found himself watching the process – it was a weird, strange sensation to have someone licking your wrist and sucking blood out of your veins. Kurogane didn't quite like it, but didn't hate it – he knew he should've – either. In a way, it fascinated him to have the mage on his knees, honest with himself for once.

Some minutes later the mage – vampire – was done. In silence, he stood up, licking the last trails of blood from his lips and fingers – then he blinked, and the golden eye revered back to its original sky blue.

Fai didn't say a word, but before he left, he glared Kurogane. That one blue eye was filled with constricted emotions, but it was possible to read a few – self-loathing, shame, possibly fear. And hate.

After the magician was gone, Kurogane moved to the window to see the beautiful night sky. This dark sky, hovering over the advanced city seemed so different from the one back in home; the sky back there was somehow more serene and calming. Within seconds, Kurogane was lost in thoughts; he was thinking of home, of his late parents, his mother's murderer, the two Sayorans, the princess, the mage...

Despite everything that had happened, Kurogane found himself being pulled back to present in form of one thought multiple times; Of whom the hate in Fai's blue eyes was aimed at – to Kurogane or to the mage himself?