Daylight streams through a crack in the curtains of my parents' bedroom. Particles of dust float through the air and I stand motionless just outside the door. Everything is how it was left years ago when my parents lost their lives. The bed is neatly made, father's glasses sit on the bedside table on his side of the bed, while mother's dream journal lies under a layer of dust on hers. Nothing's been disturbed meaning Sasuke had never ventured in here. Strange, had I been close to mother and father I would have spent every night in their room mourning their deaths.

I toss that useless thought aside and train my eyes on a floorboard with chips in it. Obviously it had been pried up multiple times over the years. Stealing myself, I enter the room. I hardly breath, not wanting to disturb anything. I cross quickly to the loose board and pry it up. Underneath, in brightly colored wrappings, are boxes of various sizes with my mother's writing on them. Each one had been given a birthday, starting with my fourth.

I gingerly lift each box out of the floor and put them in piles based on dates. I want to open one pile a year until my eighteenth birthday when I was originally supposed to receive them.

I turn to the pile of gifts from my fourth birthday and pick up the smallest package. It's smaller than my palm and lighter than I thought it would be. "Well," I whisper out loud. "Here goes nothing."

I peel off the paper to reveal a velvet jewelry box and slowly open the lid. Inside is a ring and a note. The ring is comprised of a silver band with small diamonds set into it leading up to a red heart shaped jewel, which I'm assuming is a ruby. I open the note and read:

Tora,

This is the ring your father bought for me on my first birthday after we started dating. At the time he said it was a promise ring, but now I want you to have it to wear as a reminder of the two of us.

Love,

Mommy

I pull the ring out of the box and examine it. I have to admit it's gorgeous. There's a few dings in it and it's lost a lot of it's shine, but that probably stems from my mother's days working around the house. I'm sure a jeweler could fix it up easily, but I like it better this way. It seems more real.

I slip the ring onto the middle finger of my left hand and move onto the next box. This one is larger, long and thin. I tear the paper off and remove the lid from the underlying box to find a katana and it's corresponding sheath. The sword itself is wonderful, made of a black steel with golden swirls etched into the metal. The handle is a dark red, akin to the color of blood, and accented with gold. The sheath is beautiful as well. A shining black with gold and red flowers decorating the length of it.

Another note accompanies this gift as well and I read it.

Tora,

I saw this katana in the weapons store and thought it would suit you. Since all the gifts are for when you are eighteen and at that point I'm sure you'll be a strong kunoichi, I thought this would make a wonderful gift.

Mommy

I pick up the sword and extend my arm. It's balanced just the way I like with a little weight focused at the opposite end. The edge is sharp and I can sense chakra humming through the steel, meaning I can use it with jutsu without fear of damaging it.

I carefully sheath the blade and place it to the side. There's one more gift for my fourth birthday, but on top of the wrapping she wrote, "Save for eighteen no matter what!"

I decide to respect my mother's wishes and store the present, along with the rest, back in the floor and cover them. I'll come back on my fifteenth birthday and open the ones from my fifth birthday.

With that done, I strap the katana to my back and perform a reverse summoning. In a cloud of smoke I once again appear in my bungalow on Tiger Island. Outside the window the sun is about to set and I let out a yawn. I pull the katana off my back and lay it on my desk. Turning to my bed I move my recently packed suitcase to the floor and lay down, pulling the covers over me.

Tomorrow I go back to Konoha for real. For the past week what my mother's letter said about presents had been bothering me, so I took a field trip today after training to see if it was true. Obviously, it was. I haven't told anyone about the letters, it's my secret and I want to keep it to myself.

I had to go to my old house today, since I won't have time tomorrow. Apparently they're throwing me a "Welcome Home" party, and the day after Takeshi and I are going on a mission for who knows how long. I'm grateful though. I don't think I could stand being in the village for an extended period of time right now... At least until I readjust.

Being on Tiger Island is so peaceful and going back home to crowded streets and overbearing friends is going to be hard. Seeing them again, knowing that I caused them so much pain, it's going to be the worst experience of my life. Aside from Naruto I'm unsure how any of them feel about me. For all I know they could hate my guts, how could they not? I've failed them in so many ways. I wouldn't be surprised if none of them show up tomorrow to welcome me home.

I'm dreading Kakashi most of all. I left him in radio silence for nearly a year. He probably hates me so much. I've been so sucked up in my own self-loathing that I completely disregarded my sensei's feelings. I'm stupid. Stupid and selfish. I wouldn't blame him if he never wanted to see me again.

I shake my head and take a deep breath. No. No more of those thoughts. I can't keep living like this. I can't keep believing that I'm a useless waste of space. If I do, then Orochimaru wins. I have people who care about me, who have always cared about me whether I knew it or not. First I had Itachi, then the entirety of the Akatsuki, then Tenshi, and now all my friends back in Konoha. If I even still have friends back in Konoha.

I sigh slightly. Sitting here and contemplating it isn't going to get me anywhere. All I can do is sleep and hope for the best when tomorrow comes.

The city is just as I remember it, crowded. The amount of people and closeness of the buildings adds to my mounting anxiety. Takeshi is by my side whistling out a tune of his own creation and glancing around aimlessly. "You know, I never much cared for this place." He says, breaking the silence that had settled over us ever since we arrived. "I mean sure, it's home, but it's so busy and so loud."

"My thoughts exactly," I manage to say past the growing panic in my chest. We're on our way to the barbeque pit where the party is to be held. After many long and drawn out goodbyes on Tiger Island, we finally managed to transport ourselves back. We're late, sadly, due to the painful process of removing Ina from my side and the party has already begun. That is, if anyone even bothered to show up.

"So, you think there will be any cute guys there?" Takeshi asks, one blue eyebrow raised.

"For me or for you?" I snort, some the my anxiety ebbing from the distraction.

"Either." He shrugs.

"Well unless that cute guy from the sand village shows up, I'm going with a no for me. And somehow I get the feeling that Itachi wont be showing up, so that's a no for you as well."

"Damn," he mumbles trying to hide a smirk. "You know there's other options out there besides the people we have crushes on."

"Yeah," I sigh dramatically. "But wouldn't it be better if they were there?"

"Of course." He scoffs and tousles my hair. "At least you're crushing on an ally of the Leaf. Mines a criminal."

"But he's also my brother! And I mean, I could totally see you going dark-side for him." I giggle and duck out of the way of his fist.

"I hate you." He mutters, entire face a lovely shade of red.

"Only because I'm right!" I sing and skip ahead of him.

"Oi! Wait up!" He shouts and runs after me. I laugh and take off hoping to stay ahead of him, but my steps slow to a stop as the barbeque pit comes into sight. Takeshi comes to a halt beside me, concern etched onto his face. "What's wrong kiddo?"

"I just... what if..." I struggle to voice the terrible thoughts running through my mind. Why is it so difficult to explain why I'm so anxious? Am I really be that irrational?

"I'm sure it'll be fine," he smiles and wraps an arm around my shoulders. "Kakashi's excited to see you, he told me himself, and he also said the others are excited as well."

"But what if they were lying?" I say, my voice barely audible.

"Then they aren't worth it." He answers and nudges me towards the door. "But there's only one way to find out."

I stand frozen, unable to move. My heart is pounding so hard it feels as if its going to burst from my chest. "I can't."

"C'mon, where's that snarky, confident girl that I met last year?" He tone is joking, but his eyes are serious.

"She died with Kura."

He lets out a sigh and pulls me into a hug. "If you don't want to go inside we don't have to." I can feel his chest vibrate with every word. "No one ever said you have to come."

"But..." But if I don't I'll be acting like a selfish brat.

"No buts," he says sternly. "You do what you want."

"I want..." I pause, eyes watering. "I want to see my friends."

"Okay." He pulls back and takes my hand. "Then let's go in."

I nod and let him lead me to the entrance. As we get closer I can hear the chatter of those inside. I barely make it past the entrance before I'm overwhelmed with panic. There's so many people. So many. All here for me and I... I don't deserve any of it.

The first person to see me is Naruto, of course. His face lights up and I train my eyes on him to block out the rest of the people there. He crosses the room quickly and pulls me into a hug. "Welcome home!"

Home. I'm... home. My eyes begin to water again and I clutch onto Naruto like my life depends on it. His loud shout draws the attention of the rest of the room to me and before I know it I'm in the middle of a small group hug involving Luna, Ino, Suzume, and Hikari.

"We've missed you!" Ino exclaims.

"So much!" Hikari adds.

"It's so boring here without you!" Luna whines.

"Irritating people isn't the same without you!" Suzume finishes as the four of them squeeze the life out of me.

"Let her breath idiots!" Kira's voice comes and I feel them pried off of me one by one. When I'm finally free and able to respire properly she ruffles my hair with a smile. "Nice to have ya back kid."

I merely smile, struck speechless at the amount of people who had missed me. That's when I catch sight of him and my smile falters. He looks so happy, but his uncovered eye reveals a deep sadness and hurt. I don't know what to do, so I just stare back at him as one after another people come and welcome me home. I can't hear them though, all my focus is on not crying. All I want to do is run to my sensei and apologize over and over again, but there's nothing I can say to make it better. The fact is that I disappeared for a year. If not for Takeshi he would have had no idea where I was or if I was even alive. How can I even begin to make up for the hurt I've caused him?

He waits until everyone else has tried to talk to me before coming over. Up close I can see the dark bags and the tinge of red that surrounds his one eye. I didn't mean to make him lose sleep. I left to avoid causing pain for the ones I love and instead I just ended up hurting them even more.

When he reaches me he gestures towards the door that leads to the roof of the building, a silent communication that he wants to speak alone. I follow him up the flight of stairs into the crisp Konoha evening. He turns around and just stares at me for a long time.

I take a deep breath to calm my racing heart and speak softly, "Kakashi..."

I can't continue but that's all it takes. As if a dam had broken he rushes forward and pulls me against him. I bury my face in his chest and let the tears flow freely, I can't believe I ever thought he would hate me. "Please, don't ever do that to me again," his voice is low and his arms tighten around me for effect. "Before Takeshi sent us a letter... I... I thought Orochimaru had you again."

"I'm sorry," I cry and press closer to him. "I'm sorry. I didn't... I never..." I break down then falling into a fit of sobs.

"It's okay," he whispers and runs his fingers through my hair. "It's okay. I promise, everything's fine. Everything's going to be fine. I know you needed some time away."

"I tr-tried to wr-write, but I... I just c-coudn-n't," I choke out.

"It's okay." He repeats. "I know what you're going through. The loss of a comrade is hard, but the loss of a friend is worse."

We fall silent after that and stand together, locked in an embrace until the tears pass. When I'm finally recovered I pull back and look at his face with a frown. "You aren't sleeping well."

"What?" He blinks at my sudden comment.

"You're eyes, you aren't sleeping well." I say quietly. "It's because of me, isn't it."

"No." He mumbles and glances away.

"You're lying," I laugh softly and poke him in the cheek. "Don't lie to me."

"I'm not lying!" He argues and pokes me back. "It's a combination of things."

"So tell me about it."

"I mean, your disappearance is part of it, but I feel as if I've failed as a sensei." He explains with a sigh. "I ignored everyone's talents but Sasuke's and he turned out... bad. Sakura had to go to Lady Tsunade for help, Naruto had to go to Jiraiya, and you... You had to go to Takeshi. I abandoned all of you when you needed me most."

"Oh." I'm struck speechless by this revelation. I never once in my life felt abandoned by Kakashi. I may have joked about it, but I never actually felt that way. "You... You didn't abandon me."

"Yes. I did." I can see the pain clearly in his eye and shake my head.

"No, you didn't." I say confidently. "You were there for me when I first came to Konoha, every time I was in the hospital, when everyone thought I was a monster, and when Kabuto... When Kabuto raped me. Don't you dare think you abandoned me. I'm sure the other two feel the same way. Naruto and Sakura know that they can go to you with anything, and just because they've found new teachers doesn't mean you've failed them. I mean, let's face it. You? Teaching Sakura medical jutsu? That would be a disaster!"

He smiles briefly and ruffles my hair. "Yeah, that would be ridiculous."

"Y'know, I think I missed you the most." I laugh and swat at his hand. "I mean who else can I make fun of my teammates with?"

"If I remember correctly, you make fun of me a lot as well."

"Only cause you're like a brother." I trill and nudge him with my elbow.

"Yeah, yeah," he grumbles, but I can see the fondness in his eyes. "We should go back downstairs."

"We should." I nod and hug him one last time. "I really did miss you the most."

"I know." He says and pushes me towards the door.

Downstairs the party's in full swing with many people eating, drinking, and laughing. I stick to Kakashi's side for the rest of the night and don't really speak much. I can tell a majority of the genin are still wary of me from my display during the chunin exams. They watch me carefully as if I could go Kurai at any moment, and I don't blame them. With as unstable as my emotions are right now, I'm surprised she hasn't managed to escape. I mean, there was a close call when I was on Tiger Island, but Takeshi managed to talk me down.

I don't think much of it though, if I were in their shoes I'd feel the same way. So I ignore it and focus on spending as much time with my sensei as I can before I have to leave for my mission with Takeshi.

The night comes to a close far sooner than I'd like, but I need to get some sleep before tomorrow. Kakashi offers to walk me home and I take him up on it. The walk is silent, just the two of us enjoying each others presence in a way we couldn't over the past year. When we reach my door, I'm hesitant to go in. I came by earlier with Takeshi to drop off my stuff and had to have him do it. I couldn't even step inside. The last time I was there I self-destructed and I'm afraid of that happening again.

Kakashi, as usual, picks up on my discomfort and laughs quietly. "Wanna spend the night in my guest room?"

I let out a breath I didn't know I was holding and smile at him. "I'd love to... but I leave tomorrow morning for a mission and need my stuff."

"I'll go in and get it," he says with his trademark closed eye smile. "You can stay out here." He reaches into his pocket and pulls out the spare key I had given to him long ago. He unlocks the door and disappears inside, coming back a minute later with my still packed suitcase from my trip and my mission pack that I keep ready to go just in case.

"Thank you," I take the pack from him, but he refuses to let me carry the suitcase as well. I pout all the way to his apartment, claiming I could carry my own stuff. He merely ignores me for the duration of our walk.

When we reach his place he turns around and stops me at the door. What I can see of his face is bright red. "Let me warn you beforehand that... Well the place is a bit of a mess." He clears his throat. "And I... well I also like to not wear my mask while I'm at home..."

"And..." I raise my eyebrow in question.

"It'll be the first time you see me... without a mask." He looks away in embarrassment. "The reactions I get when people see my face are usually... pretty strange so I just want to warn you."

"I'm sure I'll be fine," I huff out a laugh. "Can we go inside now?"

"I guess," he sighs and unlocks the door. He was right, the place is a mess. Pots and pans litter the sink and dirty dishes are stacked on the counter next to it. His weapons lay out on his coffee table with a cleaning cloth thrown over them. I'm also pretty sure all the shirts he owns are strewn about the place on the backs of kitchen chairs and furniture.

"Geez," I mutter and take a seat at his table. "Do you ever do dishes?"

He glances over at the sink and shrugs. "Tsunade's been sending me on mission after mission, I only have time to eat and shower before I'm taking off again." He leaves my suitcase at the door and turns to go down a hall to the left, calling out over his shoulder, "Speaking of showers, I need one. Guest bedroom is the second door on the right. Make yourself at home!"

With that he disappears into what I'm assuming is his bathroom. I look around lost, not quite ready to go to bed, but not sure what to do. I train my eyes on the dirty dishes and grimace, no way. Then I look at my bag and remember the katana I'd stored away in it. I cross the room and pick it up, taking it to the guest bedroom. The room is bare, consisting of only a bed and night stand and I toss my bags onto the bed before unzipping the suitcase and removing my new weapon.

I unsheathe the sword and admire the craftsmanship up close. It must have taken a long time to make. Upon close inspection I can see that each golden design was once a carefully carved crevasse in the black steal, that had then been filled with molten gold and left to harden. It really is quite beautiful, I wonder how my mother knew I would grow up to appreciate this.

Since the room is big I take a couple practice swings, enjoying the way the blade easily slices through the air. Maybe I'll bring this along on the mission and practice with it in my free time. If I can concentrate lightning chakra on the tip of it I can probably slice through anything. Then if I need a long distance attack I can figure out how to throw blades of wind from it!

I begin swinging it at pretend enemies of my mind's creation, loving the way it feels like an extension of my arm. Most people prefer short blades like kunai since they're easier to handle, but I've always loved swords. I just never had a reason, or enough money, to buy one.

"That's a pretty blade." Kakashi's voice startles me and I swing around to point the tip of the sword at him. That's when I realize he's not covering his Sharingan eye or wearing a mask... And he had reason to be concerned. He's gorgeous. Like, deserving of a hoard of fangirls gorgeous. And he has a mole on the left side of his jaw that just adds to how gorgeous he is. He also looks younger now that I could see the entirety of his face.

"That's a pretty face," I blurt out and cover my own face with a groan. "Did I seriously just say that?"

"I told you people react strangely when I don't wear a mask," he smiles and I nearly swoon. It's the first time I've actually seen his smile, and not just the outline of it under his mask. "So where did you get the katana?"

"Hm," I blink, unable to look away. He gestures towards the sword and I snap back to reality. "Oh... well it's kind of a long story."

"I've got time." He enters the room and takes a seat on the bed, patting the spot next to him. I sit down and think of where to begin.

"Well, it all started when I went back to the Uchiha compound to go through my father's office," I launch into the story, telling him every detail from the journal to the letters to the gifts hidden under the floorboard. He listens intently, eyes widening at a few parts, but for the majority of the story he manages to contain his surprise. "I just wish... I wish I could go back and forgive them, y'know? They died with me hating them and for me... Dying with someone I love hating me would be the worst thing ever."

Kakashi nods and pats my head. "I'm glad you found out the truth. You deserve a little light in your darkness."

"The only light in my darkness is you, Takeshi, and Naruto," I say softly and smile. "You three are the only ones who make me want to stay alive. The only ones who never give up on me."

"I'd say something like you're a light in my darkness too," he starts with a slight laugh. "But that'd be a lie. You're more of a sun that brightens everything."

"Really?" I ask, shocked that someone would think that of me. I mean, Naruto fits that description perfectly, but I'm more of an umbrella that blocks out the sun.

"Don't look so surprised," he chuckles. "You're the closest thing I've got to family, it's only natural that I'd feel this way. Now get some sleep, you've got a mission tomorrow and need to be well rested."

"M'kay," I yawn move my stuff off the bed. I kick off my shoes and remove all my jewelry and lay down. Kakashi pulls the covers up over me, places a kiss on my forehead, and leaves the room after turning the lights off. I cuddle up under the blankets and drift off into a restless sleep.

Rubble. Broken buildings for miles around coupled with the smell of smoke. It's Konoha, but it's... destroyed. Completely annihilated. Who could have done such a thing? I look around, an unsettling feeling in my stomach. Something bad is going to happen.

I move through the debris and my vision narrows in on a person trapped between broken piece of concrete. I start towards them to help but stop short. It's Kakashi. He's staring up at someone that I can't see. His eyes are wide, his normally covered Sharingan transformed into a... Mangekyo?

There's blood running down his face and he's buried from the chest down. He can't move, let alone defend himself from the enemy I can't see!

Then I see it. It's barely a spec from where I'm standing, but when I activate my Sharingan I can see it clearly. A nail. A rusted, slightly bent, nail. With the sharp end heading right towards Kakashi. I reach out to him and scream his name,but there's nothing I can do as the nail embeds itself in Kakashi's head, right between his eyes. His body slumps backwards, face pointed up towards the sky...

I jolt forward in bed, breath coming out in short, ragged pants. I look around in panic, hearing loud footsteps outside my door. It's dark, so dark. And then it's not, and my light is standing just inside my doorway. Alive. With no nail between his eyes.

He's at my side as soon as he sees my face. "Nightmare?" He asks wiping away at the tears I hadn't noticed were on my cheeks. I nod slightly, bottom lip quivering a bit. "Wanna tell me about it?"

"You... you were in it. You were... trapped and helpless. The village was destroyed, and you were buried in debris. Then... you were killed." I shudder, the image of Kakashi's limp body fresh in my mind.

He stares at me for a moment, eyes wide. Then he's hugging me, rubbing soothing circles on my back. "It's okay." He whispers. "I'm right here and I'm not going anywhere. No matter what, I swear I won't die on you until I'm old and wrinkly."

"Aren't you old now?" I sniff and he chuckles.

"Don't make me regret trying to make you feel better," he chides and coaxes me into laying back down. "I'll stay with you until you fall asleep again, okay?"

I nod in response and curl onto my side. Kakashi lays down behind me and wraps me in a tight embrace, resting his chin on the top of my head. I smile at the feeling of his chest rising and falling against my back and fall into the best sleep I've had for a year.

My alarm is what wakes me up next. I groan and try to roll over to hit it only to find myself unable to. "I got it," a sleepy voice mumbles from above me and the events of last night rush back to me. Kakashi, the idiot, must have fallen asleep while waiting for me to fall asleep. I feel him shift and the weight of his arm disappears from my waist. The ringing of the alarm stops and I'm tempted to go back to sleep, until I remember the mission.

I lift my hands to rub the sleep from my eyes and untangle myself from Kakashi. I stand up and stretch, letting out a yawn as I do so. I look back down at my bed to find Kakashi laying on his back, stretching his arms above his head. "Morning," I say and yawn again. "I'm gonna take a shower."

Kakashi lets out a grunt in response and I pull some fresh clothes from my suitcase. I wander down the hall to the bathroom and start the water. I strip down and step into the stream of hot water. I wash quickly and step out. I find extra towels under the sink and dry off before throwing on my usual white shorts and blue tank with fish net combo. I decide to let my hair air dry since I'd gotten used to letting it hang loose and wavy while on Tiger Island.

When I step out of the bathroom my senses are assaulted by the smell of bacon. I follow my nose to the kitchen to find Kakashi standing in front of the stove cooking. "That smells amazing," I say and eagerly reach for a piece of bacon off the plate on the counter. Kakashi whacks my hand away before I can get to my prize and I pout up at him.

"Not until the pancakes are done." He says sternly and points at a cabinet. "There's orange juice in the fridge and cups are in there."

I pull a glass out of the specified cupboard and fill it to the brim with OJ. "So, got any plans for today?" I ask, eyes fixed on the still cooking food.

"I've got a mission that I'm heading out on shortly. We've been getting some strange reports about the Takumi Village recently, so Tsunade is sending me to check it out." He answers as he piles the finally finished food on a plate. He sets it down in front of me and I dig in.

"Sounds like fun."

"Any idea what your mission is?"

"Some kind of escort thing." I shrug. "A diplomat is going to Kumogakure and Takeshi and I get to be the ones to take him there. Should be uneventful, just gotta guard him from bandits and such."

"How long will it take?"

"A few days. The diplomat is staying in Kumo for the year, so once we get him there the Kumo ninjas will take care of his security."

We fall into silence as we eat. It's not uncomfortable, but I can see Kakashi keep glancing at me like he wants to say something. It takes until I go to get up for him to speak. "Tora..." He begins and I sit back down due to the seriousness of his tone. "I want you to move in with me."

"What?" I cock my head to the side in confusion.

"Last night, after you fell asleep, you spent the entire night trying to toss and turn and you even screamed a few times. You also lashed out and almost gave me a black eye." He explains and I can see the worry in his eyes. "I think if would be best for you to not live alone. I know I'm not always around and more often than not I'm on missions, but... I just..."

"Worry about me?" I finish for him with a tiny smile.

"Yeah," he breathes and looks away. "I just don't want you to have an episode one night and wake up without anyone there to take care of you."

"Okay." I nod and stand up.

"Okay?" He repeats, dumbstruck. "You're not going to put up a fight?"

"Nope." I shrug and start cleaning off my plate. "I don't want to go back to my apartment and it was nice having someone to talk to after the nightmare last night, so sure. I'll move in with you."

"That was easier than I thought it would be," he mutters to himself and stands up. "When are you leaving for your mission?"

I look over at the clock, it's about five in the morning. "In a half hour. We're hoping to make it halfway there by dinner time, then we're gonna stop for the night."

"Okay, I've gotta head out now. Tsunade wants to give me some more information before I leave. I should beat you back, so we'll move you in when you return."

"M'kay," I smile. He kisses my forehead and ruffles my hair before slipping on his mask, headband, and vest.

"Be safe, okay?" He calls over his shoulder on his way out the door.

"You too!" I call after him. Once he's gone I disappear into my room to prep from my first mission since I've been gone.

Wow, okay it's been a while, but I was a bit stuck on where I was going with this chapter. Now I have a plan. A very good plan, that hopefully won't take another six months to execute. As always let me know what you think and feel free to yell at me for being lazy and taking so long

~C.S.