Hello my lovelies~! Its been a long time, I know. Very long time. Went through a lot of stuff and a lot of changes, too long to tell. I am hoping that this new chapter is good enough for you guys to read and enjoy.

Grell POV

Anxious.

Overwhelmingly anxious.

I knew he was being kind and courteous, yet I was still so nervous to take his hand. I knew this man and somehow my arms felt frozen in place. My gaze met his and he smiled down at me, causing an overbearing sensation of happiness somehow. Slowly, but surely, I lift my hand and gently placed it onto his. His palm clutched mine softly but firmly.

"Can you stand on your own?"

"I'm not sure."

I made attempts to stand, slowly drifting my legs for my feet to touch the floor. I felt weak and I shook my head. His hand still held mine firmly to assist me.

He seemed to have the most amount of patience with me. Even I lost patience with myself; most, if not, all of the time. I watched as he adjusted his posture to lift me back into his arms. I do admit it hurt greatly, but I didn't want to give him more reasons to be concerned about me. I smiled faintly up at him, trying my best to hide the fact that I was pain.

"Thank you." I say to him softly, my head pressing gently against his warm chest. He replied with a gentle, "You're welcome" as he carried me out of the guest bedroom. Most of the way, I spent it laid against his chest with my eyes closed. I felt exhausted, drained out of all energy. My eyes felt heavy even though I wasn't feeling sleepy. It was strange to think that out of all people in this city, Undertaker would be the one to find me. Out of all people, my old lover was the one to nourish me back to health. Truthfully, I do not deserve this kind gesture from him. I was not great as a lover to him and I'm sure he still feels some way about what I did back then. But if he did, why is he wasting his time to help me?

His bathroom wasn't too far from the guest room he had set up for me. I knew this warmth and embrace wouldn't last as long as i wish it would. Heh. How stupid must I have been back in high school. This man loved me and did everything to try and get me back at his side and I...still rejected him even though I was still in love with him. How cruel of me, right? I've changed, however. I'm no longer the naive, self-centered girl I use to be. I've learn to be considerate of others, as I would want others to be for me. Maybe one day...

"And here we are." he interrupted my thoughts, snapping me back to reality as I watched him open the door and enter the bathroom. I must admit I was impressed by the way it looked. And the amount of space was just perfect. A very spacious shower with glass sliding doors, silver tile walls with gold edges, and shower floor made out of smoothed concrete. An easy non-slip concept. Good, I am already known for slipping while showering.

Undertaker approached the toilet and gently set me down, his hand unexpectedly moving my hair away from my face as I looked up at him. Still, he kept his gestures and facial expressions soft and welcoming. Part of me wanted to stand and embrace him, but the rest of me kept me seated. Hesitant... I continued to watch as he went to turn the shower on at the appropriate temperature and as he did so, I admired his hair. He had long hair back in high school also but it wasn't as long as it was now. It looked healthy, shiny and it looked like he took care of his split ends. The way it flowed as he moved made me think of silky sheets. Soft and alluring. Inviting...

I couldn't help it. I stood up as gently and firmly as I could, it was as though my own body guided itself towards him. My hand disobeying, my fingers gently lacing along those silver strands. A smile curled my lips and I could feel my face heat up. It was so soft, as I had imagined. Silky soft. All I wanted at that moment was to wrap myself in it like a veil. He felt my hand, because he turned to see me holding strands of his hair and all I heard was him chuckling softly. His cheerful sound made my face heat up more and I quickly released his hair. "I..I'm sorry, I couldn't-"

"Its alright." he interrupted as he reached forward to place his hand on my cheek. "You were like this back then as well. I can't get mad at your for admiring." I felt relieved. He was still as kind as ever, even to me. Someone who had broken his heart into pieces and left without saying a word. I still feel guilty for it. Maybe if I wasn't so childish back then, we would still be together today.

"I will grab a towel and a new nightgown for you to wear. I will return shortly." he informed and I nodded. Feeling his hand leave my cheek was disheartening. The warmth and softness gone in seconds, but what can I do...? I watched him slip out of the bathroom, leaving me to the silence of loneliness and the sounds of the showering running. He said he would return shortly so this was the time to get undressed and slip into the shower as quick as possible. I approached the door to the bathroom and I closed it, not locking it however. My body was still bruised and sore from what had happened, it was hard to remove the current nightgown without triggering pain all over the damaged areas. Sigh.

I noticed a mirror right next to the bathroom sink. It was one of those long mirrors where you can see your whole body in. Something I dreaded each time. This was bad. I looked bad. Damaged, almost beyond repair. Things that should not be visible, are more than visible and it was embarrassing. I couldn't let Undertaker help me with my wounds. He would bear witness to the true monster that I am. I can't live with that reality. Before I noticed, I had tears streaming down my cheeks, my nose red from trying to hold them back. I can't let him. It would be too much to bear if he reacted very negatively. What if he hates me? What if he found me disgusting after seeing what I am? I can't seriously bear it. Part of me wanted to run away and escape but it was too late to leave. He was going to return at any moment and that is exactly what happened. I heard the doorknob shuffle around and I quickly reached for the nightgown I had just taken off to quickly cover myself.

"I have a few towels and a few nightgowns you can- Oh... My apologies. I should have knocked." he said as he turn his head away from me. It caught me off guard but I quickly said, "Oh no, no! Its okay. Thank you for bringing these for me. I appreciate your help." I was blushing, I knew I was. It was embarrassing but I knew he couldn't see my body now.

"With your permission, I would like to assist you in cleaning your wounds." The offer made me react in surprise even though I was already expecting him to, but I was hesitant to reply. Instead, my body began to shake, and my legs began to lose balance. My anxiety kicked in right at the wrong time. My legs caused me to collapse and land on my knees while holding onto the toilet seat. The nightgown I held slipped from my grasp and I closed my eyes tightly. He saw this and came to my aid. He approached but paused just before touching me. I couldn't see what he was doing or what he was looking at but I knew in the back of my mind.

He had remained quiet and it felt like an eternity. I broke the silence just as he laid his hands on me. "Please..just...don't look." my voice cracked, my body still shook from the anxiety attack I was having but this didn't stop him. I felt his arms wrap around me and lifted me back into his arms, it caught me by surprise again but I quickly hid my face on his chest. It was so easy to lift me, might as well confuse me for a feather. My shame blinded me as so did my tears and soon my body went from being cold and shaking to feeling the warm streams of water against me. This made me lift my gaze to meet his and for the first time since last time, I saw him frown. Was he hating me now? Was he disgusted? I couldn't tell. But I did notice that he had entered the shower with his clothes still on. My wounds began to taint his glamorous outfit and my hands tried to push him away. "W..Wait your clothes! They'll get ruined!" I exclaimed with much concern but instead of being met with words, I was met by his embrace. A tight one. His head laid on mine and his hair veiled all light source from my sight. It really was like being enveloped in silky sheets. I couldn't tell what he was thinking, and I only hope he was thinking of me in a positive way still.

xXx

Undertaker POV

Yes, I did hesitate for a moment. Grell did not look as he looked back then. There were many changes in him that even I couldn't comprehend. The bruising and wounds still looked inflamed and raw. I could see things no normal human body should show. And for as many questions and concerns I had, I couldn't add fuel to the fire. The way he said those words, the way his voice cracked in midst of crying broke my own heart. He knew I saw, and still kept trying to hide himself from me. I had to snap back and help, and I did so by taking him into my arms again and taking him right into the warm shower. At that moment, nothing else mattered but his well-being but my face couldn't stop reflecting what my own mind was thinking. Our eyes met and it was as if he knew what I was thinking. He couldn't see but I noticed more tears flowing down his eyes. And that made me frown even more, not because I was upset, but because I could see how broken Grell was. How shattered he was and how many of his pieces were missing.

I embraced him firmly, my fingers sliding behind his head to keep him close to him chest. It had been such a long time since I had him this close and in my presence. Deep down, I missed it. Missed his aroma, the way his skin felt against mine. The way his red hair veiled over me when he embraced me from above. The way his warmth matched mine. It was indescribable, the love we had. And since he left me, I couldn't find anything else as strong. The lovers I had after Grell felt empty and cold. Unfulfilling. Their warmth wasn't the same. Their aromas were not as alluring and inviting as Grell's. Pitiful, isn't it? After he left, I couldn't function. As if a big part of me was ripped off and taken without allowing me to say anything against it.

But now, at this moment, none of that mattered. My clothing soaked in water and blood, the bathroom began to be consumed by the stench of old blood. I could feel Grell's body shake less and less and that brought me some relief. The shower head was right above my head, my hair now drenched, I couldn't help but lift Grell's gaze. His eyes were closed, since the water hit his face but something in me made me hesitate. His lips were so close but now wasn't the moment to do such a forward thing. I wiped away some of the loose hair strands from his face and I made sure the water combed his hair back. I turn around so the water only showered me and our eyes met. I noticed his ears turning red and his gaze dropped.

"Hey, look at me." I uttered at him, lifting his gaze up again. "You have known me for so long, there's no need to hide away from me." I tried to speak as softly as I could, not wanting to sound as concern as I really was. "Let me help you."

"Its..hard. It all hurts." he managed to say and I couldn't agree more. The wounds were still as fresh and the bruises were beginning to darken. It all had to be done fast. The faster I could get Grell to bed, the better he will feel.

"Okay, then please allow me.." I said as I gently allowed him to stand. I made sure to have his hands pressed against the tiled wall, his front body facing away from me since it seemed like he was more comfortable that way. But again, the view of his body was concerning. Scars, bruises and fresh wounds. And so...thin. I can see the bones on his back and part of his spine. So many questions ran through my head, but I tried to focus on wiping away at the old scabs and dried blood. I took a shower towel I had hanging nearby and soaked it in water and soap. "Forgive me. This will sting, so please bare with it."

"O..Okay.." he replied, but I barely heard it. It was so quiet, the water from the shower overpowered his voice. I took the shower head and detached it from its place, gently allowing the water to hit the wounds on his back. As tender as I could, I wiped the soaked towel along the old scabs, letting them slide off and glide towards the drain. I could hear Grell's grunts of pain, and saw how he tried to grip the tile wall. "I know it hurts, please try to bare with it a bit longer." I uttered, allowing the towel to glide along the dried blood and along those exposed bones. It was hard to touch them, hard to feel them. He wasn't like this. Was he being held captive by him? Was he not eating enough? Was this all for the modeling agency? It can't just be for his modeling career.

"Please...gently." he uttered, his eyes meeting mine from the small turn of his head. I could see his eyes were red from crying, almost swollen. "I'm sorry." I whispered back at him, trying my best to do as he wished.

Once I took care of the wounds on his back, part of me dreaded the next part of the procedure. Turning him around... He hesitated as I pleaded him to turn. But he did and once he did, he covered his face. No word can describe the scene I witnessed. Not even the towel remained within my grasp. The sound of it falling onto the concrete floor made him pull his hands from his face and witness my own reaction to what I was seeing. I snapped back the moment he wrapped his own arms around his torso. My eyes met his and at that moment, he was shrinking in place.

"No no. Grell Its-"

"Please...leave." Grell said, pausing me mid-step. I couldn't go. Can't leave him like this. Not in this bloody mess.

"Grell listen, I won't speak of this just.. Please allow me to help you."

Grell hesitated in responding back to me, and honestly, I don't blame him. I approached him and I noticed that he back away until hitting the wall behind him. I lifted his face one more time and saw how his face reflected sadness and embarrassment. This time, I didn't hesitate. I held onto his cheek gently and leaned towards him, lacing my lips with his. I felt his hands pressing firmly against my chest, trying to push me away but I stayed in place. In return, I deepened the kiss by letting my tongue slide into his mouth. This made him pull away from the kiss but I caught him up again, tangling our lips in a heated kiss.

For the first time in years, my heart drummed roughly against my chest. A sense of excitement flourished within me like a flower that hasn't been watered in a long time.

Not long after, Grell pulled away from our kiss slow and gazed upon me. I returned the gaze softly and couldn't help but pull him into another embrace. "I'm so sorry." I murmured.

"Its okay.." he responded back to me, "Its been a long time, hasn't it?" he continued, "I should be the one to apologize... Leaving you all those years ago has been my only regret."

"Its in the past. We cannot change what has already happened." I responded, "We can speak about this some other time. I must finish what I started." I said, not wanting to slice open my scar. It was more important to get Grell back to the bedroom so he could rest the pain away.

"Thank you... For saving me."

I pulled back from the embrace and made sure to give Grell a tender gaze. My hand once again pressing against his cheek, "I'd do it all over again."

xXx

Grell POV

My heart couldn't stop thumping against my chest. The way our lips met, it brought back fond memories. The way he maneuvered his lips and guided me made it feel unreal. Like a dream. What can I do? My emotions rioted against each other and I couldn't stop them. The way he held me and held my gaze up felt romantic. Something I haven't had in a long time. Secretly, I was happy that it was him.

All of this made me forget the fact that I was completely exposed in front of him. I tried my best to hide the way my body felt, the heat that surged from head to toes.

After thanking him, I watched as he held my cheek longer as he spoke his words. I certainly blushed and inside, I was happy. Giggly like a child. Like a princess finding her prince. Cliche, no? Hah! How childish of me... But with a handsome man like him, how could you not think of him as a prince? To me, he was more than that.

He was love incarnate.

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