Title: To Love A Friend
Author: happycattaxi
Chapters: oneshot
Fiction Rating: T
Warning: Two men kissing,
Pairing: Aoi (Gazette)/Uruha (Gazette)
Disclaimer: Standard disclaimer applies. I don't own them…
Summary: Uruha is in love with Aoi and he dares not do anything. Aoi thinks Uruha doesn't care for him and he wants answers. What will happen to their friendship?

Well, this is my first fanfiction ever. I wrote it some time ago (about 2008), but I forgot all about it. At that time I was really into Japanese music and The GazettE was my favorite band.
I did a little rewriting on this and here it is… Hope you like it! Btw, not beta-ed and English is not my first language.

To Love a Friend

What do you do when you love your best friend but you know if he doesn't love you back?

Uruha struggled with that problem. He had fallen in love with his best friend. He had known Aoi for ages but it was within the last couple of weeks that he had really fallen in love with him. At night Uruha would dream of Aoi and wake up all soaked in sweat. At day he would be at practice with him. He saw him all the time which caused him a lot of distress.

One day at practice Uruha kept messing up, making the others get more and more agitated. They didn't yell at him though Ruki was close to.

"I need a smoke!" Ruki exclaimed leaving the room. The others looked at each other worried. Ruki had stopped smoking. Reita quickly followed his friend outside.

Uruha just stood there holding his guitar looking at the floor. God, he was tired. He hadn't slept at all last night. Thoughts of Aoi touching his body had kept him awake. He hadn't been able to concentrate all morning. If Ruki started smoking again it would be his fault.

"Uruha!" Kai called, forcing Uruha to leave his thoughts. "You should put down the guitar. We don't know how long Ruki is gonna stay way." Kai had already left his drums. "I'm gonna make some food."He said leaving the room.

Uruha did as he was told. He put the guitar down and looked around. He noticed Aoi who was looking at him.

"You know Kai cooks when he is stressed or concerned." Aoi said making Uruha blink. He didn't understand what Aoi was getting at. Aoi moved forwards and closed the distance between him and Uruha. He laid his hand on Uruha's to try and catch his attention. Uruha snatched his hand away as Aoi's hand just brushed his own.

"What did I do to you?" Aoi asked a bit harsh.

"Nothing!" Uruha answered.

"Then what the fuck is your problem? I thought we were friends!" Aoi asked.

"We are… we are friends" Uruha answered.

"Are we? Cuz it doesn't seem like it to me! You don't talk to me anymore. Anytime I come near you, you act weird. What kind of friendship is that?"

"I'm sorry…" Uruha murmured looking at his shoes.

It was not like Uruha to be depressed. Mad yes, but not depressed. Aoi put his arms around his friend for he still considered them to be friends. Uruha returned the hug and held Aoi close.

"Don't you understand I care about you? You are my friend. I am concerned about you. We all are. Over the past few weeks you've gotten paler and thinner. We are worried about you. You scare us!" Aoi said.

"I'm sorry to make you worry!"

Aoi looked at the man standing opposite him. Uruha was not acting like himself at all. He had decided to wait for Uruha to tell him what the problem was but he was getting scared. Scared that Uruha was involved in something he couldn't handle. His first thought had been drugs but he knew Uruha would never do drugs. But then what? What could cause Uruha this much distress? It had to be something big. He knew he had to ask.

"Are you involved in something?" He asked.

"Something..?" Uruha looked surprised.

"Yeah, you know drugs or something?" Aoi looked dead serious.

"Drugs..?" It took a little while for Uruha's mind to finally understand Aoi's question. "No! I'd never do drugs. You know that!"

"I didn't think you would but I don't think I know you that well anymore. I know you keep things from me but I don't know what!"

Uruha sighed. He knew he had to tell Aoi the truth. But he also knew that most likely Aoi would resent him and the band would break up because of this.

"The thing is…" Uruha started "The thing is iloveyou…" The last words were only a whisper.

"What? I didn't hear that." Aoi said.

Uruha looked at Aoi with pleading eyes. "Don't make me repeat it!" He said shocked.

"But I did't hear what you said…" Aoi began.

Uruha broke free of Aoi's grip and started to back off. "I can't…" and he turned around and ran out of the practice room.

"Uruha!" Aoi yelled after him, but it was no good. "I didn't hear you…" the last sentence he spoke mostly to himself since Uruha was to far away to hear him.

When the others came back Aoi had to explain what had happened to Uruha. They all looked worried. "I'll go by his apartment tonight." Kai said. No one liked the idea because Kai already had his hands full just being the bandleader.

Aoi said he'd go instead. He wanted to know what was wrong with Uruha. He didn't care whether or not Uruha wanted to tell him.

Later that day Aoi went to Uruha's apartment. He knocked on the door for a long time. Finally when he had almost given up, Uruha opened the door. Aoi noticed that Uruha had been crying. Uruha never cried!

"Aoi? What are you doing here?" Uruha asked surprised.

"I came to see you. Are you gonna invite me in?" He replied.

"Yes, yes, of course…" He stepped aside letting Aoi into the apartment. "What are you doing here?" He asked again when he closed the door behind Aoi.

"I told you. I came to see you."He said with a smile.

"You could just see me tomorrow at practice…" Uruha answered.

Aoi was shocked and the smile left his pretty face. He just starred at Uruha for a long time. Uruha was looking everywhere except at Aoi. "That's what our friendship means to you?" He almost screamed. He was not mad - he was hurt. Uruha clearly didn't wish to see him unless he had to. This friendship was over!

When Aoi screamed Uruha look up. He looked up in time to see Aoi's face change expressions many times. First was shock. Then mad and last sad.

Aoi just stood there with his head hanging. He couldn't think. He was too hurt to do anything. He didn't what to lose Uruha. He loved him. He lifted his gaze to look at Uruha. "Why?" Was all he could think of to say.

Uruha felt a sting of pain as he saw the sadness on Aoi's face. He knew this time he had to tell Aoi the truth. It was the only way to make him understand.

"Aoi.." he said. "I love you."

Aoi just looked more confused. "I love you, too" he replied not really knowing where this was going.

"No you don't understand. I don't just love you as a brother. I love you as … as…" Somehow he couldn't say the word lover, so he changed it to "I want you."

Aoi looked a bit confused. "I don't understand… Is the big secret that you want me?"

"Yes." Uruha answered looking at the floor again.

"What do you what from me? My body?" He asked laughing a bit. Not really sure if Uruha was serious.

Uruha cheeks turned a little pink as he said "I want everything. I want your body, your mind, your love, your soul, your devotion. Everything…" He felt kinda good now that he had told Aoi but he didn't dare to look at his friend. For a long time neither of them spoke.

"I… eh… need to think about this" Aoi said. He walked to the door and let himself out without even glancing at Uruha. He stood just outside for a long time and leaned against the door.

He thought about what Uruha had said and he thought about his own feelings for Uruha. He loved him as a brother but could he also love him as a lover? Could he have sex with him? His cheeks turned bright red as he thought about having sex with Uruha. He didn't know how long he had been standing there but it had to have been a long time.

Suddenly he felt the door behind him move. He lost his balance and fell. He heard Uruha gasp surprised as Aoi fell in his arms. Uruha succeeded in catching Aoi and keeping his balance.

"Aoi?" Uruha asked surprised. "What are you doing here? I thought you'd left long ago."

"I ..eh.. was thinking" Aoi answered and looked very surprised. He looked up at Uruha who had a little smile on his face.

"Oh, and you use my front door to think?" He laughed, still holding Aoi in his arms.

"I'm sorry..." Aoi answered quietly.

"Don't be!" Uruha said smiling.

"I meant I'm sorry I just ran out of here before." Aoi said.

The smile disappeared from Uruha's beautiful face and he helped Aoi to stand. "Yes. Well, I understand." Uruha answered looking everywhere except at Aoi.

I want him to smile always. Aoi thought. I want him to be happy. I want to make him happy.

"Uruha.." Aoi began. "Uruha, you know I'm not usually into guys.."

"Aoi!" Uruha cut him off. "You don't have to explain. I wish I hadn't told you anything but now I have and I just wish we could forget it, ok?"

"You might want to forget but I can't forget my best friend confessing his love for me."

"Wouldn't it be better to just forget it?" Uruha asked a bit harsh. He didn't really want to talk about this.

"No." Aoi answered quietly.

"Aoi, you are confusing me. Do you want me to love you?" He asked. Not sure what kind of answer to expect.

"Yes!" Aoi answered looking straight at Uruha.

"Why?" He asked eyeing Aoi suspiciously. "Do you... do you love me?" He asked.

Aoi just nodded. Uruha felt a string of hope.

"Not just as a brother?" Uruha asked just to make sure.

"I think I love you as more." he answered. "But, Uruha, I'm not gay." He looked up as he said the last sentence. A look of worry in his eyes.

Uruha was happy even though the last comment was a bit of a turnoff. He put his arms around Aoi who hugged him back. For a while they just stood there holding on to each other.

Uruha was the first to break the embrace. He looked at Aoi. "Before I was actually going out." He said.

"Do you want me to come along?" Aoi asked.

"I have to visit my sister at the hospital."

"Is she sick?" Aoi asked concerned.

"No. She is in labor."

"She's pregnant?"

"Yes. My brother-in-law called me just before. I have to go there."

"Yes of course you do."

"Do you wish to come? You don't have to, you know…"

"Then I rather not. I'm not too fond of families even if it's not my own…"

Uruha had never before heard Aoi speak ill of families. From what he knew Aoi had a great connection to his family. "Is that something you'd like to elaborate?" He asked.

"Not really." Aoi replied smiling at the other man.

"Then I'll have to go." Uruha said making a mental note to remember to ask about Aoi's family later. Uruha leaned towards Aoi and placed a quick kiss on his lips. Aoi was surprised by Uruha's action but he didn't dislike it. Uruha had quickly broken away to see Aoi's expression. When he saw Aoi smile he felt comfortable enough to try again. Slowly he pressed his lips against the other man's. Aoi's mouth was open just a little, enough for Uruha to make his way inside. Aoi opened his mount a bit more allowing Uruha to explore his entire mouth.

After some time they finally broke apart. Uruha left for the hospital and Aoi went home.

Later that night Uruha stood outside Aoi's apartment. He wanted to knock - to see Aoi again, but he was scared that perhaps Aoi had regretted. Only one way to find out. He told himself.

He knocked on the door and waited. He heard movement from within the apartment and a little while later Aoi opened the door. He smiled as he saw Uruha.

"Come in." He gestured by opening the door. Uruha quickly stepped inside. While Aoi closed the door behind Uruha he asked "How's your sister?" Uruha didn't answer he just grabbed Aoi's head and pressed his lips against Aoi's. It was a slow and passionate kiss. When finally they broke apart Uruha answered Aoi's question.

"My sister is fine. There were no problems. She had a baby-girl." He smiled happily.

"Then you are an uncle now. I must congratulate you!" Aoi said.

"Thanks. Are you busy?"

"Not really. I was kinda bored." He said as he turned off the TV.

"Then it's a good thing I came by! I know what we can do that's not boring at all…" He said sounding very innocent but the look in his eyes were strong enough to make Aoi blush. Uruha sure knew what he wanted…

The end!