Hiya BTR lovers. Hope you enjoy. I suck at updating normally so this is a treat

…

Kendall hated going to school after a long night of puking into the trashcan by his bed, but he had to so his mom wouldn't ask questions. He couldn't say he didn't feel well, nor could he just not show up like some people. So he forced himself through another day. Vodka worked wonders as headache medication, but the after-affects were brutal. But as long as he could stand the pinpricks for a couple of hours, it hardly mattered. He felt hung-over by school anyway.

"Kendall!" Kendall jerked back to reality as the teacher glared daggers at his unresponsive body. His mind had other things to think of, such as the water bottle of vodka, a personal favorite, in his locker. Vodka, he learned, gave of virtually no pungent odor nor did it leave a bad smell on his breath.

"Yes?" he slurred, trying to keep his speech as even as possible. There was no point in tipping off that he was pretty much drunk (and if he wasn't, he certainly felt that way). The teacher frowned and studied him critically. Kendall wanted to fold in half and hide under his desk, but he forced himself to remain still and meet her even gaze.

"To the councilor's office," she said, pointing to the door. Grumbling, the blonde gathered his things and headed out of the open door. She closed it behind him and he made his was down to Councilor Roque's office. Why this guy was a councilor, the blonde hadn't the slightest. This guy despised children so much, the blonde was surprised he hadn't been fired already. He treated every child in this school like they were a contagious disease, and if he got too close he'd catch their obvious stupidity.

"Ah, Kendall Knight," he said without even looking up from his paperwork cluttered on his desk. "You're teacher called me and said you'd be coming. Take a seat." Was this Councilor Roque? He seemed like a pretty easygoing man to the blonde. Not stern, but not to soft either. The blonde sat down in a very plush looking beanbag chair, the only place for him to sit. A quick glance around Councilor Roque's office showed knickknacks of every kind, from college memorabilia to album covers from famous band. It was a rather cozy kind of space. "So Kendall," Councilor Roque said, twining his fingers together. "I can smell your breath from here. It's not noticeable unless you really concentrate. What seems to be bothering you?"

"Um excuse me?" the blonde said, crossing his arms. Trying to act touch lost all luster when you were in a beanbag chair though. "I thought you were really though with students? It's nothing against you; you just have a persona around school as someone who hates anything that's over sixteen and breathes." Councilor Roque chuckled.

"Oh do I?" he said, apparently finding the news to be quite humorous. "You kids and your silly imaginations. I can be tough, but only on those who absolutely need it. Stupidity and immaturity run very deep in some students. But you, well, you've been on a slow but gradual downhill slide. I don't feel you need someone yelling at you. Just someone to talk to. Am I right?" Kendall had to swallow the lump in his throat before he responded.

"Pretty much," he choked out. "See it all started when my ex-boyfriend, James, broke up with me…"

…

At the end of the school day, Kendall felt a little better. With some things off his chest, he didn't feel like the weight of the sky would crush him at any given moment. Councilor Roque listened patiently until the blonde said all he could say. He had another appointment set up for tomorrow, for a majority of the day. The councilor seemed to sense his need of change in his otherwise boring routine. On the way out from the office, he literally ran into James. The collision startled him so much, he sat down hard on the seat of his pants, staring at the brunette in dazed fascination.

"Oh Kendall," the brunette said, offering his hand to help the blonde up. Declining, the blonde rose and stared the brunette in the eye. "Sorry about that. Logan text me to meet him; says it's urgent and…" James trailed off as he saw the neutral expression on the blonde's face. "Oh, uh…" James shifted his weight and kept looking at the blonde, making him uncomfortable. "Well, I better get going," the brunette finally said, turning and leaving. The blonde watched as the once love of his life vanished around the corner.

…

"James baby, what's wrong?" Logan said when he saw the worried expression on his boyfriends face. "Did you run into Kendall again?" Glumly, the brunette nodded. "And?" Logan practically squeaked, wanting to juicy details.

"He was in Councilor Roque's office," he said. "Just like you suggested. He was coming out when I walked by. We collided, and I think it stunned him more than anything. He wasn't hurt or anything," he added, as the ravenette opened his mouth to question him. "Just kind of dazed. I babbled on about you, and he gave me a blank expression. I know he heard me. Is he hiding his feelings Logie?" Logan, as smart as he was, had no answer for this.

"I don't know James," he said. "I really don't know. He must be, somehow. The question now is how is he doing it." James gave a half-shrug. He'd been wondering the same thing.

"Good question," he said. "Kendall's always been a bit unstable; when we dated for those brief months, he told me I was the only thing keeping him from losing it." Logan frowned at James, something he wasn't use to. "What?" he demanded.

"And yet you left him?" Logan questioned, making the brunette wince. "You knew he was emotionally unstable, and yet you left him and dropped a bombshell like that? Who does that?" James sighed. He knew one day he'd have to face Logan down on this, and he'd rehearsed it many times.

"Because Logan," he said lowly and evenly. "I never really loved him, and I didn't want to keep leading him on to a dead-end relationship. By then I discovered I really loved you, not him." Wrapping his arms around the ravenette's waist, the brunette pulled him close. The ravenette was too stunned to say anything. "Please Logan, I know what I did may sound wrong, but you have to believe me on this. I did what was right for the both of us. He deserves someone who can love him with a whole heart and body. We were good friends, and for a while we made a cute couple. But I knew that it wasn't going anywhere." Logan listened in shocked silence. He had never heard the story of why they broke up, and it was intriguing to say the least. "I could never love him the way he wants, or the way he deserves." James let no emotions hide when he talked about the blonde. He did miss their friendship a great deal, and he let it show by the tinge of sadness in his voice.

"Well," Logan finally managed to get out around the golf ball in his throat. "If you feel like you did the right thing, there's no shame in that. Leading him on would just hurt him more. But he shouldn't shield his emotions from you. He should be honest; if he's hurting, he's hurting." The brunette nodded at the ravenette's soothing words.

"I suppose you're right," he finally agreed, sighing. "I still feel shitty about this whole thing though."

…

Kendall only drank half a can of beer when he got home. That was cutting back a lot. He didn't feel like he was ready to give up his soothing friend just yet. Maybe in time he would though. He set the can aside and rolled off of his bed, his favorite spot to drink. It was private, and if anyone wanted to enter, they'd knock first. He could hide any evidence of his secret addiction. Katie and Mama Knight were due home any minute. He set a pot of stew to simmer on the stove before they got there. Starting dinner would assure him more time in his room because he such a good boy. Whenever she said that, something slowly died inside him. He was no good boy. He was a fucked up boy who hid everything he did with good deeds. He headed into the bathroom and took a swig of minty mouthwash to get the taste of beer out of his mouth.

"Kendall?" Kendall took a deep breath; facing Mama Knight got harder and harder every day. He hated when she was disappointed in him, and if she found out about his secret addiction, she would definitely be disappointed. "Thank you for making dinner." Shit. She was right outside the bathroom door. "I don't know what you're doing, but I'll take over dinner now." The blonde heard her footsteps echoing down the hall. He peeked out and watched as she rounded the corner to the kitchen. Making sure Katie was not in the hallway, he dashed across the hall and slammed the door to his room. He shoved the empty cans back under his bed. Trying to hide these was liking facing Mama Knight.

It just got harder and harder.

…

Well what did you think of chapter two? R&R!