Warning; Rated M for a reason, yo.

I was tired when I wrote this, but I hope that you still enjoy it!

I've made a tumblr, I'd love it if you'd check it out; pepperwoodswife

The Solution

The loft had turned into, in the words of Schmidt, a 'sex den'.

Cece had left Shivrang, claiming that she was still in love with Schmidt, and that she was willing to give him one more chance, before thoroughly warning him that if he was to ever hurt her again, she would 'slice off his dick in his sleep'.

Nick and Jess had finally gotten together, and after almost 2 years of built up sexual tension, the pair of them couldn't get enough of each other, kissing and touching each other whenever (and wherever) possible. It had gotten to the point where Schmidt had begun to carry around a water pistol at all times, so that if they were ever too touchy-feely in a 'communal' place, like the kitchen, he could hose them down in an attempt to stop them.

It wasn't always successful, though.

(The animals!)

And then there was Winston, who had managed to land himself with a beautiful girlfriend in the form of Daisy, and since he still found it too difficult to navigate his way around her apartment complex, they spent most of their time together here, at the loft.

Needless to say, the bedrooms of the loft were the most used of rooms these days. Occasionally, somebody would venture off into another room, but this was usually for nothing other than a bathroom break, or, if they were really, really starving, food.

Oh, and of course, to go to work, but the roommates seemed to be sick an awful lot, lately…

"Nick, we need - we need a- oh" Jess gasped out, trying so desperately to form a coherent sentence, deeming it impossible as she propped herself up on her elbows and glanced down at Nick, his head between her legs, his tongue caressing her in the most intimate way possible.

She considered trying to speak again, but she was a little too preoccupied right now with the way that his tongue was moving against her, tracing circular patterns that sent warmth radiating throughout her whole body, that had her practically trembling and fisting the sheets of Nick's bed between her fingers.

As much as she was enjoying this, and oh, she was definitely enjoying it, she just wanted him, now. She wanted to feel him inside of her, wanted to feel the way he so perfectly filled her. Hence, he needed to go and get a condom, and fast.

So, she tried again.

"Nick, I need you to- crap!"

She failed, once more, as she felt him push not just one, but two fingers inside of her, causing her to gasp out in pleasure as her head fell back against the headboard, as her back arched slightly towards him, as her fists tightened their grips on the bed sheets.

He pumped his fingers in and out of her, and chuckled against her, his mouth still working her in the best way possible, and the vibrations that shot through her body as a result were almost enough to make her lose it right there.

He pulled his mouth away from her, and she all but whimpered at the loss of contact, which she immediately hated herself for as she looked down to see him smirking up at her.

"What is it, Miller?" She asked, fighting so hard with the need to close her eyes as his fingers continued their thrusting, and she absentmindedly tightened the grip that she held on his sheets, if that was even possible.

He laughed softly, and she was torn between wanting the slap the smugness off of his face, and wanting to kiss it off of him. He knew what he was doing to her, he knew exactly what he was doing, the effect that he had on her and her body, and there was something so frustrating about that, yet so hot at the same time.

"You just said that you wanted me to… crap" He replied with a chuckle, unable to decide if he found it funnier that she had, indeed, told him to crap, or that Jessica Day had just cursed. A mild curse, albeit, but it was still progress.

"No I did not!" she frowned at him.

"I mean, I knew that you were into some freaky shit, Jess, but I never thought that you'd go that far" he teased, ignoring her response as he continued to thrust his fingers into her at an unforgiving pace, revelling in the way that a deep red flushed her cheeks, in the way that she was so desperately trying to hold it together.

He loved that she was just as stubborn as he could be.

He loved that he could coax this kind of reaction from her.

"I was trying to tell you to get a condom, you jerk" She replied, finally giving in and letting her eyes drift to a close, letting her elbows give way underneath of her and laying flush against his bed, her hips rising up towards his fingers as an incoherent moan tumbled from her lips.

"I will, eventually, but I'm not quite done here, yet…"

And then, before she could even react to his words, his mouth had returned to her core, and his fingers picked up their pace as his tongue swirled against the little bundle of nerves faster, and he all but growled against her as her fingers tunnelled their way into his hair, massaging his scalp gently as she pushed him closer to her.

"Oh God, Nick"

Was she trying to kill him, saying his name like that!?

He sucked on the tiny nub, eliciting a cry of approval from her, and it only encouraged him further, encouraged him to go faster.

His tongue and his lips were eager for her, eager for her taste, and he moaned against her as she cried out, pulling harder on his hair, so much so that it was borderline painful. She shook beneath him as she came undone, her back arching and her walls tightening around his fingers as her orgasm ripped through her body, as she cried out his name in such a way that made him want to never, ever let her leave his bed.

"Nick" She sighed, releasing her firm hold on his hair and letting her body slump back into his bed. She breathed heavily, smiling down at him as he laid his head on her stomach, placing light kisses on her skin.

"How was that?" He asked cheekily, kissing his way back up her body, before he was finally at eye level with her.

She smiled at him, before slinking her arms around his neck and pulling his face to hers, her mouth moving against his tenderly, a soft moan escaping him as she playfully tugged at his bottom lip with her teeth, and he opened his eyes to glance down at her.

Her eyelids flickered open and her big, blue eyes were staring up at him as he broke their kiss, her dark hair fanned along his pillow, and he watched as a wide grin graced her features, showing off those flawless white teeth of hers.

God, she was so beautiful.

"It was amazing" She replied with a sigh, bringing one of her hands up to cup his face, before running her thumb along his lips. "You are amazing, Nicholas"

"Not as amazing as you are, Jessica" he smiled, before burying his face in her neck and nuzzling the warm skin there, closing his eyes and inhaling the familiar scent of strawberries and vanilla that was his Jess.

She laughed softly at him, running a hand through his hair again and smiling as he slinked his arms around her waist, pulling her close.

"Nick?"

"Yeah, Jess?"

"The condom?"

He raised his head to look at her with a smirk, and his eyebrows rose suggestively. "You're ready for more?"

"Hurry, before I change my mind" She said with a playful smile, pecking him on the lips once more.

Well, he sure as hell wasn't going to argue with her.

He jumped up off of the bed, and made his way over to his desk, leaning down and opening the bottom drawer, where he knew she had put that ridiculously large box of condoms.

Frowning, he stood back up and glanced at her over his shoulder. "Where are they?"

"What?"

"The condoms, Jess, they're not in here"

She watched as he pointed to his desk, and her brows furrowed in confusion at his words, before realisation hit her, and she smacked herself on her forehead with the palm of her hand.

"Oh, I totally forgot, I put them in the bathroom" She said, removing her hand from her face and looking up at him again.

"Why would you put them in the bathroom, Jess?" He asked her, turning back towards her fully and crossing his arms over his chest. "We hardly ever have sex in there".

She rolled her eyes at his question, but when her eyes lay upon his face again, she couldn't help but smile at that adorable turtle face of his. And then, she wondered briefly, how he remained fully clothed, yet had managed to get her fully naked.

"Because, Nick," She began, slipping underneath the sheets of his bed as a cold chill hit her body, and pulling the sheet up to cover her bare chest. "Schmidt and Winston have girlfriends, too, and I thought that it would be nice to share them, you know, to save money and what not".

"Jess, Schmidt earns more in one week than either of us earn in a damn year; I'm pretty sure that he can afford his own condoms" Nick growled, before stalking towards his bedroom door.

He swung the door open, and stepped out into the hallway, only to appear in the doorframe again a moment later with a smile on his face. "I'm not just bringing one condom back; I'm bringing back the whole damn box".

She smiled at his words, and he chuckled lightly before disappearing into the hallway, leaving his bedroom door open so that she could hear his bare feet pad their way towards the bathroom.

As he entered the bathroom, he groaned at the sight of both Winston and Schmidt stood near the bathroom sink, the two of them seemingly looking for something.

"Whatcha guys doing?" He asked them, laughing as he noticed for the first time that Winston was wearing one of Daisy's leopard print robes, and then grimacing as he noticed that Schmidt was shirtless, wearing only a pair of boxer shorts with the words 'Love Doctor' repeatedly printed on them.

"We're looking for the condoms" Schmidt answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world, and Winston shrugged, before the two of them resumed their search, flitting around the bathroom and opening any and every drawer that they could find.

"Yeah, well, that's why I'm here too, so…" Nick trailed off, glancing around the bathroom to see if he could locate the missing condoms for himself.

"This is great!" Schmidt exclaimed, turning towards Nick with a beaming smile, the loud tone of his voice causing Winston to turn towards him with a questioning glance. "All three of us are having sex tonight! Bro high 5!"

Nick glared at Schmidt, and shook his head slightly from side to side as he glanced at his raised palm, and he found himself questioning how it was possible for one person to be such a complete, utter douchebag.

"Jar… as soon as you get your pants back on" Winston stated simply, before turning back around and carrying on rifling through the drawer that he had just been looking through. Schmidt frowned, before lowering his dejected palm, turning towards Winston as a triumphant laugh erupted from him.

"Found them!"

Finally, Nick thought to himself, smiling as he watched Winston stand upright and turn back towards himself and Schmidt, opening the box and peering inside.

"Oh…"

"What, Winston?" Schmidt asked, an impatient tone to his voice. "What is so important that you have to delay my sexy time with Cecelia?"

"There's only one" Winston replied with a tight smile, pulling the last remaining condom from the box and holding it in the air, all three of the boy's eyes glued to the one thing that was keeping them from returning to their bedrooms and ravishing their girlfriend's.

"Well, I guess I'll be going, see you guys tomorrow" Winston said brightly with a smile, tossing the empty condom box on the floor carelessly and practically sprinting towards the bathroom door.

"Oh, I don't think so, that's mine" Nick growled, stepping in front of the bathroom door and blocking Winston's path, before shoving him back into the room with a challenging raise of his eyebrows.

"It's mine, actually" Schmidt interrupted them, swiftly snatching the condom from Winston's hand, holding it out of reach as his two roommate's instantly reached forward, trying to gain possession of the almighty object.

"That's funny, 'cause the last time I checked, Jess was my girlfriend, and that box of condom's was hers, so hand it over you clown!" Nick bellowed, reaching forward once more in an attempt to grab the rubber out of Schmidt's hand, only to have it held out of reach again.

He was about to argue with the two of them some more, using some highly inappropriate language, when Jess' soft voice coming from behind him interrupted his thought process, and he turned towards the doorway.

"Nicholas, what's taking so long?"

His eyes raked over her scantily clad body, that damn pink robe (his catnip) was draped over her, dangerously short on her thighs, and it made him that little bit more determined to get that damn condom!

"Damn" Nick heard Winston say, and he turned towards him with a scowl, before leaning forwards and slapping the back of his head.

"Stop gawking at my girlfriend, you moron!"

"I'm not gawking, man!" Winston defended himself, raising his palms up in the air in an 'I surrender' kind of gesture. "I have my own girlfriend".

"Cut him some slack, Nick" Schmidt said with a sigh and a roll of his eyes, before turning towards the two of them and continuing. "Jess can't expect us to simply ignore her when she's wearing that tight, short, flimsy-"

His words were cut short as Nick's hand connected with the back of his head, this time, and when Schmidt hit him back, it soon turned into a childish fight in the middle of the bathroom, all three of Jess' roommates grunting and slapping each other in the face at any given chance.

"Nick!" Jess called over the commotion, rolling her eyes at how immature they were. And that was coming from her, the woman who wore ribbon hats and repeatedly watched Disney movies!

"Nick, where is the condom?" She tried again, and just like that, at the mention of the word, all three of them stopped in their movements, and began to frantically search the bathroom floor.

"Whoever finds it first gets it!" Winston called out, and Schmidt silently cursed himself for losing it, since he had been the last one to have hold of it.

"There's only one left, Jess" Nick said as he looked up briefly to see the confused expression on his girlfriend's face, before returning his attention to the task at hand and raking his eyes over the bathroom floor. "And now we've lost it".

"There's only one!?" Jess asked, wide eyed in disbelief. "How is that even possible!? It was a box with over 300 condoms in it!".

The three of them ignored her, and Jess faintly picked up the sound of Nick cursing under his breath, and she could also see what she assumed was a band of sweat forming on Schmidt's forehead.

Ew.

And then she saw it, a little to the left of where she was standing, and she smiled to herself, wondering how she could possibly pick it up subtly.

But, the ability to be subtle had never been one of Jessica Day's strong points, and as she leaned towards the rubber, Schmidt caught her, and his line of sight followed hers, and he practically ran towards her in an attempt to retrieve it for himself.

Jess beat him to it, though, grabbing it in her hand and springing back to her feet, one hand held in front of her, keeping them at a distance, and the other held in the air, the condom contained tightly in her fist.

"Stop it, this is ridiculous!" she breathed out, letting her gaze wonder over the three of them, and wondering why Nick looked so hot when he was flustered as her eyes raked over his red face, his tight jaw and his clenched fists.

She cleared her throat, desperately trying to gain some composure, before averting her gaze from Nick with a sigh. "There has to be a mature, adult way of dealing with this".

"Yeah, like what?" Winston asked, folding his arms across his chest, raising his brows at her and tapping his bare foot on the tiled floor beneath him, impatiently awaiting her answer.

"Like, like, um…" She struggled, trying oh so desperately to actually think of a way to settle this. But, much to her dismay, she couldn't.

So, instead, she cleared her throat once more, setting her face into the most serious expression that she could muster, before adding confidently, with her best smile, "I know exactly how to settle this, gentlemen".

The three of them stared at her, Winston still impatiently tapping his foot on the floor, Schmidt momentarily looking away to glance at the watch on his wrist with a scowl, wondering how long this was going to take exactly.

Jess took a moment to wonder why, as she took in Scmidt's appearance, he was even wearing a watch in the first place; dressed in nothing but those ridiculous boxer shorts, he had obviously been getting it on with Cece, to an extent, so why on earth had he had the time to remove his socks, but not his watch?

"Jess…" Nick's voice interrupted her thoughts, and she snapped her head towards him. "The solution?".

"Oh, right!" She said with a wide smile, and a little chuckle escaped her lips, before she turned back to the three of them with a nod of her head. "This is what we do".

Nick's eyebrows furrowed in question. He knew Jess too well, he knew that that smile had been forced, that she was bluffing, that the mischievous glint in her eye wasn't there for no reason.

Before he had time to think any more of it, however, she was suddenly running from the bathroom, yelling over her shoulder; "Run, Nicholas, run!"

The unexpected, beautiful genius!

He immediately sprinted after her, the two of them laughing hysterically as a bewildered Schmidt and Winston tumbled after them, and Nick almost skidded around the corner as his feet made contact with the slippy, wooden floor. He would have fallen on his arse, too, if Jess' supportive hand hadn't reached out to him just in time, gripping him tightly and pulling him through the doorway and into his bedroom.

"Lock the door, Nick, lock the door!" She squealed excitedly as he hurried in behind her, and he turned and began to close his door, just in time to see Schmidt and Winston round the corner, both with furious expressions on their faces.

"Quick!" Jess squealed again, and Nick laughed in triumph as he successfully managed to close the door tightly shut, securely locking it, and he turned towards Jess with a huge smile on his face.

"Jess, you're amazing, you genius!"

She giggled in response, throwing her arms around his neck, and he wasted no time in crashing his lips to hers, a content little sigh escaping her lips at the familiar touch.

"Nick, you animal!"

"Cece is going to be thoroughly disappointed, now, I hope the two of you are pleased with yourselves!"

Nick ignored the commotion outside of his door, focusing only on the beautiful woman in his arms, revelling in the way her soft robe felt underneath his fingertips, and at just how damn enjoyable it was when her fingers snaked their way through his hair like that.

As he backed her up against the nearest wall, smirking at the surprised gasp that escaped her lips as her back made contact with the cold surface, he was barely aware of the sounds of Schmidt and Winston retreating back to their bedrooms, Winston mumbling incoherent sentences whilst Schmidt rambled on about how, first thing tomorrow, he was going to assign a daily condom limit to each resident of the loft.

Which was fine with Nick; since Jess and Nick both lived here, they would technically get double the amount of Winston and Schmidt, right?

"Nick" Jess moaned, music to his ears, as his hands slipped over the small of her back, down over her arse and then settled on the backs of her thighs, his grip tightening there and lifting her, her legs instantly wrapping around his waist, bringing him closer towards her, and he all but growled as she circled her hips against his very prominent arousal.

The action caused him to pull his lips away from hers with a moan, and he looked up at her to see her smiling down at him, and he couldn't help but smile back at her.

"God, I love you, Jess" He sighed in admiration, and she leant forward and pressed her lips to his forehead, his eyes closing as she did so, her hands resting at the back of his neck.

"I love you too, Nicholas"

And then Jess found herself being launched onto his bed, and she giggled as he fell on top of her, peppering her neck with kisses and playfully running his fingers up and down her sides, in a way that he knew made her weak at the knees.

He reached out to her hand, which was still securely closed around their prize, and he gently took a hold of her wrist, bringing her hand to his lips and softly kissing her knuckles, coaxing her to release her fingers.

Which she did, and Nick smiled as he took the condom from her, before burying his face in her neck once more and placing hot, wet kisses there, drinking in her breathy sighs of approval as her hands snaked their way back to his hair once more.

He pulled back slightly, and grinned down at her, waving the condom in front of her face and laughing at her impatient expression.

"Why don't you let me show you just how much I love you, Jess?"