Move Along

Speak to me, when all you got to keep is strong;
Move along, move along like I know you do;
And even when your hope is gone;
Move along, move along just to make it through.

Epilogue

Cloe Harker, District Four Female;
Victor of the Fiftieth Hunger Games

For a second, there's a moment of relief. A light, maybe from the sky or one of the lamps spread around the Cornucopia, reaches behind my closed eyelids and brightens inside my head. It's warm but not too warm; comforting every nerve that screams in protest, every ounce of pain wipes away leaving me hanging between consciousness and unconsciousness.

I soak in the sweet bliss until it's snatched away from me forcefully. A thread is cut and I'm plunged back into the agony. I scream, I scream for my life, writhing on the concrete dyed red with blood. That's when three dots of yellow burn from above like fire, searing my eyes. They descend slowly, whistling in the breeze like the knife from earlier. It smothers me and I try to squirm out of whatever grip that's pulling me up, encircling me in something I can't escape from. No. No this isn't what I want... don't touch me.

I scream but nothing comes out. Every single piece of me burns in sheer agony, every cut I've inflicted imprints onto my own body and my own wounds elicit images behind my eyes that I can't control.

Aryanna. Chip. Athena. Mercury. Daraeh. Fortune. Rhoena... so many, so many faces and I can't stop them, I can't... I can't... make them stop... stop...

Another light envelops me, this time caressing me as I drift to a halt and tender hands wrapped in something, prod and stroke me gently. Muffled voices waltz through the air and I find the peace again. Slowly, there's a moment of pressure on my forearm and for what feels like forever, I smile. Then it all goes dark and the light vanishes. My mind wanders into a dream state and I welcome it without hesitation.

When I wake up all I can see is silver. The walls are plated, reflecting back my own self, sheeted in a white overall. A tray of utensils sits by the left of me and an overhead light shines brightly, blinding me for a second. There's no pain though, that's the one thing I can make through it all. I know that down below, in the Arena, it was all too much. I pushed myself to the breaking point and crossed that line, exerting myself to a point I never really thought I could achieve.

I surprised myself in more ways than one... I... I'm the victor.

How did I win?

Me, out of fourty-eight tributes. I want to smile and cry and hug this sheet, reveling in triumph over the fact my life is still my life. Though nothing comes out, I just feel hollow. I did all I could to win, I saw a side of myself in that Arena that I'd never seen before, a side no one had ever witnessed. It was because of not only Aryanna, but the Games themselves. Through it, ironically, I became stronger.

And now I'm here, a result of that new strength and I just feel...

What do I feel?

I'll have to try and work that out for myself.

"Cloe," I look over my shoulder at the soft sound of my name. Mai smiles lightly at me, stepping through an open door over to my bed. Immediately, her eyes well up in tears and I close my own when she grips onto my shoulders and buries her face in my neck.

Mai inhales and a sob bounces off the silver wall. I stroke her back, not really knowing what else to do, and wait for her to let it all out. Mai was always a soft one. I never paid attention to her Games or any detail I heard, but it's a surprise someone like her made it out alive.

I'm happy she did though, she was a big help to both me and Aryanna. She must have done something right, after all here I am, alive.

"I didn't think... no... no, you did it. That's all that matters."

She pulls back and wipes her eyes, mascara running down her cheeks. Only now do I notice how overdressed she is for such a visit. A gown, similar to the one I wore at the interviews, hugs her body tightly. She looks uncomfortable and I don't blame her. Is this what waits for me now? A life of being plucked and pressed so I look the part.

I'm so tired. I just want to go home...

Home.

That's going to be difficult.

"How are you feeling?"

I shift on the bed and sit up properly, my legs hanging over the side. "Alright, I suppose. I don't really know how to act right now. It's all still a little..."

"Overwhelming?"

I bite my lip and nod. I understand what's happened, but not what I had to do. Everything I did in that Arena feels impossible, those aren't the actions of the Cloe Harker I know and grew to understand. People won't have watched and seen me, they'd have seen a girl changed... what would they call me? A monster? I killed, I know that much. And my own survival means fourty-seven other children couldn't be sat here right now with their own mentor. In a sense, I'm the murderer of them all. And how do they expect me to handle all that? Right now, I can just about. But when whatever drugs coursing through my veins subside, when I can sit down and reflect on a time that seems to have lasted a lifetime, what do I do then?

Kill myself? No, that would be selfish. Drink? I just don't know how I'm supposed to cope now. Twenty-three lives is one thing but fourty-seven. No person can handle that. I'm a girl, not a machine.

"What happens next?"

"We get you dressed, take you back to the Training Centre. Once you've been fed and prepped, we'll take you down to the stadium and you'll be interviewed. Then, the hardest part begins."

"I have to relive it all, don't I?"

She nods solemnly and reaches out for my hand.

"I'm sorry. The Capitol loves to see it all again."

It scares me. The idea of watching the recaps, not only knowing who is dead, but seeing it all again. I wasn't there for most of them and now I have a murder to match to every single name. They just want to torture me, like I haven't been through enough already. I knew what would happen if I won but it's still surreal, this isn't something I ever thought possible. I want to be glad that I'm here because so many others had to die for me to be the victor, but that's not an emotion I can allow anymore. Happiness... it doesn't seem right. Maybe for someone like Iris or Mercury but not me.

"When does the interview start?"

Mai looks down at her watch and sighs, retracting her hand. "Eight hours."

"Let's just get it over with, the sooner the better."

Maybe not understanding my emotions just yet is a good thing, it will make seeing people I cared about die so much easier. When I watch my own hand take the life of another, I can look at it and not break into pieces. Right now, this shock is a good thing. Maybe it can last forever. Life would be easier not registering my actions. Only now can I think of Aryanna and not cry... it won't last forever though.

I'm scared, more than I've ever been.

The Arena is one thing but life afterwards is another. Do the dead have it easier, or am I just being selfish and over-dramatic? I'll find out soon enough when I have to watch it again. I don't want to do this.

"You ready for this?" Mai brushes a strand of my hair from my eyes and grips onto my shoulder. Behind me, the roaring of the Capitol invades my ears and I have to take a deep breath to keep my lunch down. If there's one thing that hasn't changed, it's the idea of sitting and talking in front of millions. In the Games, it was easier to ignore the cameras because you couldn't see them. Here, they're shoved right in your face. There's no way out of it now, it's best I just keep my head up and play it through. It's what Aryanna would have wanted.

I nod and smile at Mai, my stylist clambering around behind her, tearing up as she has for the past five or so hours. Apparently, Aryanna yet again had her way with another person. I don't know how my cousin did it when she was around, but whether it was for the good or bad she had her effect on those near her. Now it's my turn, I wish she was here for me. I understand who I am now and what I'm becoming, but it's always good to have a steady hand to guide. And she was taken from me and I'm about to see her again... before she's snatched away for a second time on a big screen. Why do they enjoy this?

"You're sure you know what you're doing?"

"Dignified. Proud but not too enthusiastic. Smile when spoken to and act polite. We've been over this."

"I know I just want to make sure. I've seen victors get swallowed up in that chair and come out throwing up or fainting."

"Believe me, it's the stage itself that scares me, not how I should act."

Despite the nerves it's one thing I am good at. Pretending. There are parts of both Cloe's I can bring together, maybe reshape a new life for myself, one for the better. A strong Cloe but the vulnerable one as well, people don't want to be around a girl who shuts off the world and acts like nothing can harm her. I need to find that right balance and use it to help myself and others I care about.

The lights shine bright and Caesar's voice rises above the crowd's. It's time, it's beginning. My heart pulses in my chest and a sweat creeps from behind my styled fringe. But this time, I hold it all back and take a deep breath, settling the nerves and with a smile, I strut on stage away from Mai and welcome the lights.

"Show time," I whisper, dreading this and everything about it.

Caesar takes my hand in his own the second I break from behind the curtain. He smells of soap and expensive aftershave, his hair combed back and died a sickening red. Why red, of all colours? I realise I'm staring at it a little too much and smile sheepishly, allowing him to guide me towards my armchair. When I'm sat down comfortably and have the chance to take a look at the audience, my heart flutters and for a second my limbs lock together. There's nothing I can do except look at all their faces, those on the front row so close to me with their gaping mouths and hands smacking together all at my expense. They love me because of what I did, not who I am.

I'll be forgotten, or at least brushed under the carpet, the second another teenager becomes a killer. They don't care about me, they never did. I knew this, but seeing them so close now that I'm here, sets it in stone and I feel bitterness flood my system.

Gritting my teeth, I look over at Caesar and flash him a sardonic grin. He doesn't quite interpret it that way and flourishes his hand wildly, his teeth reflecting the light, an impossible shade of white.

"It's so good to see you Cloe, how are you feeling?"

So to the point, aren't you Caesar? I brush a strand of hair behind my ear and keep the smile locked on my face for as long as I can sustain it. There's something in the way he looks at me that sets my spine funny, a hunger in those cerulean eyes.

I brace myself for it all and take the final deep breath of today, no more composure, it's time to just get it over with.

"Given where I am, I'm feeling good Caesar. The other alternative would be dead and I didn't fight through so much for that to happen."

He chuckles to himself and leans forwards, eyeing me up with something far more sinister than the airheads below can comprehend. They love the kill but they do it so senselessly. Caesar's just another cog in the machine, but a smart cog nonetheless. I match his gaze and ignore the sound of something coming from behind me.

Caesar winks and then raises his arms in the air, cheering as a screen flickers to life and overpowers every light coming from the stadium in front of me.

"It's time for our favourite part. The recaps!" he draws out the 's', growing gradually louder and louder until the Capitol's roaring and clapping wipe the smile of my face. For a second I panic. It's so... much. Not just the idea of what's happening now on the screen but the volume, the sheer ferocity at which they seem to idolise and cheer me on. It's not flattering, it's horrifying. I want them to stop, I need them to!

The second I slam my eyes shut, the sound stops completely. Nothing but a distant hum as something happens on the screen. My mind slowly calms itself, my fingers unclench from the arms and I peel my eyelids open. The screen is sheer white, from head to toe just a simple, clean white.

"Let's get this show on the road!" Caesar hoots, then with a single press of a button, the screen fazes into black and with background music, a red '1' appears on screen. The black cuts into four segments and then faces appear: Fortune, Iris, Shawn and Callista. The same faces that appeared in the sky, or at least two of them which I would have seen, are what is shown. I barely have a second to take it all in, how they all look, when they fade into grey and it moves onto the next slide.

I stare at Mercury for a second then it moves to the next, then the next and there I am and Aryanna. When it moves to District Five, I'm the only one that doesn't change to grey until my face is swapped with... Daraeh's. My stomach lurches at the sight of her and I look away for a brief second.

Finally, it reaches District Twelve and the image changes. I'm aware of my heartbeat in my ears and Caesar's eyes glancing to my face then moving so quickly again. They want to see my reactions, so I make sure not to give them any... I can't. Slowly I realise I'm feeling more and more as time ticks by, every pore is opening and allowing it all in and it's overwhelming.

I have to hold myself together though, I have to. If I don't I'll be branded as a failure despite my victory. I'll have ruined their memories, all of those who died. Nothing is fair for any of us but for them I have to hold myself together and make it past what they throw at me.

The countdown begins again and the Arena appears, dark and light, rain falling from the clouds above.

It halts for a second on my face, tears blinding my eyes for a fraction of a second then my expression changes and the gong sounds. We all break loose and flood forwards, the Games begin again.

The first casualty is the boy from Seven, reaching the other kid from his District. Mercury sprints forwards and without hesitation, staying true to the monster he always was, snaps his neck with such force that I flinch. Caesar takes that in and I see his smile in the corner of my eye. Oh he loves this, he's just as bad as Mercury on the screen, running off for more blood.

I keep my eyes rooted on the screen as the rest of it plays out, each death lengthened out and lit up in pure graphic detail. Vesper stabs her own ally in the eye, another one of those kids hell-bent on eradicating innocent children. I watch the girl go down in a pool of blood and she... she and her other ally go off together, the other one completely unaware. Coyote is impaled in the back by Iris after not killing the boy from Twelve, Lance steps up to do the deed and cuts his throat.

Each time a life is taken, the Capitol 'ooh' and 'ahh'. I want to throttle them all, each instinct from the Games in overload, begging me to do something... something right for these people. I don't stop watching, I can't now.

In the charge between careers and anti-careers, Barley is caught in the crossfire and killed by Athena. As his giant body falls in a heap, the little boy from Seven who collapsed near his ally's corpse is approached by the girl from Eight who is killed by... Chip...

I hold my breath and wish him away, quickly. Thankfully, his own retreating form is replaced by Troy smashed to a pulp by Fortune who hurriedly moves on. I never connected with him but it leaves yet another stab of emotion in my chest, all of it coming back to me... I want that numbness again, please.

Fawn's head flies in a spray of blood, Declan continuing without hesitation. Emily-Mae is killed with one clear stab to the back of the head and that's it for the main fight so far.

Somewhere else, nearer to the Cornucopia, the youngest tribute is approached by the other girl from Eight. I know what's coming, her face appeared that night. His ally misinterprets what's going on and kills her with wide eyes. I know that feeling too much, one of the people to kill who really can't handle what it means to take a life.

The little boy runs towards Shawn who is cut from shoulder to navel by Callista, and then he goes down, being dragged along the concrete by Cora and Declan who shove him into a pile of boxes.

Declan was always the smart one, one of the people Aryanna warned me about. She made it far for a reason.

With the amount of deaths to show, I doubt the boring stuff will be shown again and repeated. They want the gore, the betrayal, the heartbreak. Nothing where people just talk about their feelings, I doubt my conversations with Aryanna were ever shown in much detail. No... they care about blood and that's all. In the Arena there were times when that was all I cared about. When Aryanna was stabbed and I had to kill Mercury. When I had to push Chip into Callista's path. I'm struggling to see a real difference... that's what makes it worse.

There isn't any time to rethink my morals, Diane cries out when the boy from Twelve takes her life, stabbing into her heart right in front of his startled ally. The main fights begins again, careers clashing together, anti-careers fighting both packs off in a hopeless attempt for survival. Logan, one of the outer-district careers, is killed by Declan, another kill to add to her list.

The screen shifts and shows my own self, running with Aryanna holding my hand. I see the scene both in front of my eyes and behind them, replaying in more detail than these people understand. I was there, they weren't. It's not as simple as just watching it unfold in the safety of your house, we were high on emotion and adrenaline. It was about survival... Aryanna didn't really want to, she saw what she had to do and took the chance.

Rhuben goes down quickly, one minute alive, the next another number to this bloodbath.

The bloodbath starts to die down, the anti-careers retreating from the careers. I start to calm down, only slightly. This is hard but not to the point where I want to stand up and run, thankfully I'm able to control my emotions properly, or at least hide them well enough. Even when the final girl from Ten gets caught in the side by a spear, then her killer gets his head crushed under Mercury's boot, I hold back any noise or tear. I'll mourn each life when I can get home and hide from the cameras and eyes of others.

The final tribute from Ten is picked off by an arrow, the last casualty to go down within the hedges of the Cornucopia. They aren't the last bloodbath kills though, I remember two more... two more Chip spoke about and mourned even though they never had a real connection. Axton and the little girl, White or something, are huddled up in a corner when the careers find them. White dies in his lap, a wound inflicted sometime in the chaos. Then Iris takes out her crying ally who's strangely calm, the last to die on the first day.

Seventeen cannons and it's time to move on. No other memory of these tributes, this is it, the last time they'll ever be remembered by those other than the people mourning them at home.

The rest of the day goes by quickly, the cameras focusing on nothing except the little boy from Six tied up and restrained easily. He throws a fit but is easy to subdue. Before the screen fades and 'Day Two' appears in white text on a black background, Eden enters a shop of some sorts and the trio of girls... Daraeh one of them... plan to save their ally, Avalon crying with relief that he's alive.

And that's that. Day Two.

First up, they show the survivors of the alliance that deemed themselves better than the careers, enter a theatre of some sort. Isaac is a lot quieter now, barely kicking up a fuss as his dramatic ally takes control. He's nothing more than a child buried deep in something he can't understand. It's not fair on him. They focus on me and Aryanna splitting up, everything running high in my mind from how I felt when I was fleeing from the lightning. It was terrifying being away from her... but good in a weird sense. If it wasn't for my longing to reunite with her, I'd never have experienced what made me a strong person. Not a better person, but stronger. And stronger is what led me to victory, I needed that lightning.

The main event of the day begins. The three-girl alliance fight the careers, putting everything they have into their heroic push to rescue their ally. Daraeh isn't up for it but she does it anyway, she made it against me in the final two because of who she was. A tough girl with restrictions, she knew what was good and bad and knew survival didn't always mean being good. I respect that, even if she gives in and goes for it anyway.

Avalon's neck is slit open, the grisly wound barely effecting me when Koder, Daraeh and the girl from Eleven flee. They don't make it that much further when she goes down with an arrow in her back, dying instantly and leaving Daraeh and Koder to sprint away. They shouldn't have saved him... better a little kid to be dead than two of the stronger members slaughtered.

I hate myself for thinking that, but my mind is still stuck in the Games. Strategy, that was important for survival. They ruined what they had by saving him.

The first scene of Day Three shows the alliance from Twelve split apart and chasing after Rhoena and her own ally. There's a brief fight and Taylor protects Rhoena before they two head off and for some reason she sticks by his side. I can see it, plain and clear in those eyes of his. He's not right in the head and yet she stays with him. Because of his actions though, Taylor found Rhoena, a new friendship formed which Fortune and I cut short... I hate myself for it, she was only a little girl and I cut her neck like it was nothing.

The cameras switch back to the theatre, an ominous quality to how the curtains fold back and Brazen so naively charges up to the show being put on. The puppets dancing on stage, reinacting the bloodbath is chilling. Caesar leans forwards at this point and watches with fascination at the snap that soon follows. I hold my eyes on the screen and watch poor Brazen's body collapse at the feet of the puppet and Isaac fleeing the scene. The next event of Day Three is a career fight, everyone on the edge of their seats.

Mercury twists around his friendship with Callista who pleads for him to let her be, her skin a sickly pale. He ignores her though and forces her to fight off Iris, enthusiastic as ever.

Callista changed since then, the girl on screen right now who falls apart after killing Iris, became stronger and went out on her own terms. Mercury does nothing to help his so-called friend and that's that, the careers are left behind for the time being and the shop comes into view. Rhoena and Scout walk in, light-hearted. I remember this day, who died. No matter the fact this is the past, I silently wish them to turn around and leave. They can't though, it's already happened.

Scout is killed by Eden and Rhoena faints near her corpse, clinging to her cold body. Then Eden retreats looking damaged from her actions, something inside a house tries to get out and she finds Isaac, curled up inside another one.

"Exciting, isn't it?" I blink and stare over at Caesar whose smiling at me, sparing a second to look away as 'Day Four' transitions onto the screen. My eyes narrow and I nod, forcing myself to smile. He shakes his head and lets out a muffled laugh before leaning back and returning to the main event. Day Four begins with the careers searching through the mansion at the top of the hill. Fortune and Cora are caught in a trap and fall to some kind of underground tunnel, the pair are injured but continue onwards, Cora crying and Fortune forcing her ahead no matter the pain she's in.

The anti-careers coincidentally are attacked by Fortune and Cora as they head towards the Cornucopia. Cora goes down quickly, knife to the face by Athena who... enjoys it far too much. Fortune takes out their leader quickly with his weapon, grim but determined face as he flees and Athena chases after him. The pair from Eight leave together and that's the alliance broken, the one so resolved to take down the careers and they couldn't do it. I don't blame them, their ideals were idiotic, too high for such a group to achieve. Day Four ends with Vesper and her ally fighting off a pack of those mutts, surviving uninjured and continuing onwards. The audience mutter amongst each other between the break of Day Four and Day Five, in seconds going completely silent so they can focus on more murder.

I hold myself back and watch the screen.

The careers fight, Declan, Lance and Callista going against Mercury and Kenzall. At the same time Chip and his ally appear together, venturing into the midst of the battle. Chip's ally is impaled in the throat and he flees the scene minutes before the careers split apart and Mercury and Kenzall stay in the vicinity of the Cornucopia.

My breath hitches in my throat, stomach somersaulting as the scene focuses on Athena. I remember this day... it was the day I found Athena mutilated. And now I have to watch it happen. Fortune uses her as bait to get away and the creatures set to work on devouring her, skin is ripped apart and the Capitol simply stare, gawking with smiles and wide-eyes as she's eaten alive. The camera then moves to my face and I find Athena, squirming on the ground, a complete puddle of flesh and blood. The emotions resurface as I take her life, a single stab to the chest. That was my first kill, the first life I took away.

I can't blame myself for what I did though, it was... for the best. A mercy kill. Athena deserved to go out painlessly in the end, I ended her suffering. She wanted it... she wanted it. Caesar grins at my expression and I do my best to mask my face and set my eyes still. Day Five concludes with me walking away and Day Six begins with the mutts again.

They really loved their walking corpses didn't they?

The pair from Eight are attacked. Ander, I remember Ander. I watch with sunken eyes as his ally is ripped from him and mauled by one of them. The two are split apart, one dead and Ander running away, holding back tears. The two cared about each other and yet again that bond was shattered by the Arena. I lost people I loved and Ander lost the one person he had a sense of connection with. Caesar's eyes are glued to the screen and I force myself to stay watching. Koder, for whatever bizarre reason, charges at the careers and Daraeh... kills him. She doesn't even flinch when his cannon blasts the air, she only turns and flees from his body. The youngest tribute and he was in a sense the most heroic, twisted and deluded, but heroic. He wanted to hurt the people who enjoyed to cause pain on others. I can't blame him for that.

Aryanna appears on screen and I automatically feel my heart beat faster. I know she didn't die today but I watch nervously anyway. Chip appears and my hands clench round the arms of the chair. The two talk and ally, promising to find me. I want Aryanna to ignore him, leave him or maybe kill him, but no. It's decided and the pair of them walk away in search of me. Day Six concludes with Kenzall's death. Fortune takes him out quickly whilst Mercury is somewhere else. Then the pair of them fight, whilst none of them gain the upper hand they manage to sap the other of their strength. Fortune wanders away and Mercury collapses into the boxes. His closing eyes dragging the screen into black again.

I try to find a clock somewhere, even whilst Vesper does something to Leta, I search around. The Capitol crowd don't seem to be getting restless at all, even though we must have been here a while. I just want to leave but there's no chance they'll let that happen. Dash and Taylor find come across Rhoena again, though Taylor's attempted to break the alliance and flee. He goes crazy, finally snapping completely. Taylor is beaten, I watch her eyes start to close but Rhoena stabs Dash and kills him, cementing her new friendship by taking the life of a twisted young man.

She did what was necessary, that's the difference between some murders and others. Some are done for no other reason than pure want, others have to be done for the sake of what's right. Maybe not right, but what counts as right in the Hunger Games. Ander is beaten by the wind and quickly knocked unconscious as he slams into a brick wall. The scene is over as quickly as it starts and the recaps move on to the next day.

They skip me meeting Ander, I realise this the second Rhoena and Taylor come into focus. That makes me feel relieved, in a sense. It was easy talking to him and helping him but I know what I did to him, in fact I'm surprised they cut that bit out. It would have made me seem even worse than I already am coming across, the first thing the Capitol have done to help me. I doubt it was meant in that way.

Taylor fights... Taylor. It's confusing but eventually the real one triumphs over the mutt and the two girls collapse into each others arms. Aryanna and Chip split apart for a brief second and there I am, sneaking over to Chip and holding a knife to his throat. They lengthen the reunion and the second me and Aryanna embrace, I hear a few intakes of breath from the audience and watch as several women in the front break down. I remember this like it was yesterday, how good it felt. But I also know what this reunion means. They snatched her away not long after and it's coming... my chest tightens and I grip onto the chair even harder. I can get through this, I've gotten through most of what went on so I can get through this.

Vesper and Leta fight Daraeh, it's an intense fight but it's over quickly. It doesn't take long before she flees and Leta turns on Vesper, cutting into her side. Vesper retaliates whilst she still has her strength and pierces through the chest of her ally. Her two kills were her two allies, the people she was meant to protect. She dies shortly after Leta's cannon and yet another day comes to an end.

Day Nine begins with Fortune, struggling against the hedges surrounding the mansion. He breaks free and quickly it transitions to Lance, Declan and Callista moving in on the Cornucopia. Then Aryanna, Chip and I getting closer and closer. It should have resulted in so much more death but it didn't, that's the only thing I can smile about when it comes to what went on. The fight begins but it's over quickly. We move in on Mercury and I bite my tongue, hold my breath and watch, eyes glossing with tears as Mercury stabs her in the stomach. I retaliate quickly and he goes down choking on his own blood. Caesar pats me on the leg like he's cheering me on and I flinch. That was me and I'm happy about what I did because... it was Mercury. But, I did it for Aryanna. She starts to bleed out but we patch it up somehow, not properly but enough to stop her dying there and then. The fight is the only real highlight of the day and we move on to... to when things really changed.

For some reason, I don't know why, Declan is struck by lightning and killed instantly. Lance and Callista are left somewhere in the rubble of the attack but the scene switches quickly to... Ander. Oh god. My legs start to feel funny, knees buckling and stomach churning. Ander sees Chip and I, laying Aryanna down. He goes to help and then I change, there and then. It happens so fast but I'm on him in a flash and he dies with my knife stuck in his chest. The boy I helped recuperate and I killed him a few days later.

Caesar eyes me up again and I sink lower into the chair, averting the way he looks at me and staring with half-open eyes at the screen. Aryanna dies next. My mind takes it all in and I just sit there, barely moving as the life leaves my cousin. I know all eyes are on me, waiting for my reaction but I just... can't. I can't give them anything because right now, after it all, I don't know how to put what's going on in my head into some kind of emotion. I just sit there, blank, and watch the next day appear, washing away the worst day of my life.

Lance and Callista attack Rhoena and Taylor. They flee, somehow escaping the confines of the house but not for long. Rhoena is caught and Taylor charges at the pair of them, dragging her blade across Lance's face and ending it with a clear stab in his eye. Callista leaves shakily, running as quickly as she can away from the two of them. Isaac and Eden get split apart in the mansion, something sinister going on as the light shifts and one of the walls appears to be shredded. Eden falls in a heap and cries into her lap, the camera moving to show Isaac on the other side, banging his hand against the mirror and calling her name.

It's sad but there's no time to properly feel anything. The scene moves to me and Chip and again, another piece of the nightmare fits into place. We talk and I don't listen, I try to fight against his words and I remember what it felt like trying to not blame him. I was so angry and I still am, I won't ever forgive Chip no matter how much my mind tells me it wasn't his fault. The Cloe on screen pushes him into Callista and she slits his throat, stepping over his body and going down the opposite road to where I went. A fire starts somewhere in the distance as the day comes to an end and we move on, the finale closer and closer.

The mansion is the first thing to appear. Isaac decides against finding Eden and attempts to leave the mansion. Gamemaker tricks appear but surprisingly he remains resolute in finding his way out and slams past the mirages, ignoring the death scenes of his friend as they play out in front of him. The camera sweeps through the walls of the mansion until it finds Fortune, stalking the halls and fleeing from the same trick the Gamemakers imposed upon Eden and Isaac. He finds the girl from Seven and the two fight briefly before he takes her life, the fight leaving her quickly. Callista is attacked by a mutt on fire, its limbs jerking in place until it sprints at full speed for her. But as it falls, that's it for the day, the numbers growing smaller and smaller and my victory soon arriving.

Day Thirteen is quick. The only thing they show is Isaac, sprinting through the hedge maze away from the mansion only to get caught by the same trap Fortune managed to break free from. His body is cut to shreds by the insides of the plant and that's that. As quick as it came.

The feast is announced behind the black screen showing 'Day Fourteen'. The finale, the end of the Games. It spends a second to show us all moving for the Cornucopia, Taylor and Rhoena hand in hand, Daraeh walking slowly alongside the fire, myself and Fortune and Callista closer than the others.

We fight, Fortune and I. This was only a few days ago, each strike so clear in my head. Callista throws away her gift, refusing to be the girl she tired to hide behind. Fortune takes her out with a smile stuck on her face and the number goes down to five. Fortune and I fight vigorously. I remember the fire fueling each move, the desire I had. I couldn't hesitate, I knew it then with each and every slash of my knife and duck of my head. There was either death waiting for me or the victory I managed to claim.

I hide away in a hedge as Fortune stays behind the table. Taylor and Rhoena run in, completely unaware of either of us watching their every move. Fortune strikes, cutting clean into Taylor's hand. The girl shrieks and Rhoena backs away, closer to me when her ally goes down to Fortune's blade. The career walks slowly towards her, the camera zooms in on his face, every crease showing the fear in his moves. He doesn't want to yet he does it anyway. More than anyone, maybe more than me even, he was determined to win this.

Rhoena backs into the hedge and then I go for it, slicing her neck open. I remember the way it felt, how clean the cut was like it was slashing paper. I shiver slightly in the chair cushion and watch Daraeh appear. The final three. The momentous occasion the Capitol couldn't wait to see.

It begins the moment Daraeh winks at me. I charge forwards towards Fortune and two of us go for it, neither holding back. I duck he stabs, he stabs I duck. On and on we go until Daraeh takes to the offensive and tackles into him. I stand there watching the pair as her head is smashed against the concrete. The Capitol cry out with amazement and shock at the sound it makes and cheer when like some kind of hero, I kick him in the jaw and save Daraeh from death by his hands.

Fortune is killed by Daraeh a few seconds after, one clear cut to his neck.

Then it's two and again, neither of us hold back from what we have to do.

The fight is intense, two girls who had no connection but cared about the other. I liked Daraeh, she had a purpose and she never let anything get in her way from making it so far. She may have killed Koder but it was necessary, at least he went out quickly. She was my final opponent from the beginning, it was always going to be her in that finale. And I watch as I get her to the ground and cut open her stomach, immobilizing her completely.

The apology slips out my lips and I watch myself blink back tears, the knife taking the last life of the Games. The trumpets blare, the camera intensifies each and every twitch of my expression, my victory sinking in. And it cuts out, 'Cloe Harker' gradually growing bigger and bigger in large, bold white text in the middle of the screen.

My chest burns when Caesar starts to applaud. The entire stadium explodes into noise when the screen is pulled back and the recaps come to an end.

I still see Daraeh, even when Caesar leans forwards and presses his lips to a microphone clipped to his ear. Daraeh and Aryanna, the two girls that meant the most to me for completely different reasons. I didn't even know my final competitor but I know, I know she'll always be with me.

Caesar bursts out laughing and leans back into his chair.

"We'll be taking a short break, stay tuned for the real highlight of this show where I'll be interviewing Cloe Harker, the Victor of the Fiftieth Hunger Games. We'll be right back."

What am I, really?

The Victor as Caesar said, a girl who survived the deaths of fourty-seven others. I just saw it again, every life stolen by the Games. And I'm here, the sole survivor. What do I do now? Tonight, I go home. District Four seems another life for me, another Cloe. How will I fit back into that? I don't have a place anymore, not really.

Do Victors ever really return to normal? I sit back in the chair and look at my lap, playing with the ribbon tied round my waist.

I want this to be over. The hard point is dealing with the fact that that's impossible. It can't be over, I'm destined to live the Games over and over. It's part of the package, as a Victor, I'm doomed to this hell for the rest of my life. There isn't an escape.

The train ride is nerve-wracking. Every time I look at the clock, I want the seconds to stop ticking away and hold me in place. Home was one of the many things that kept me going in that Arena, something to look forward to despite what me going home meant... but now I'm arriving, I want the opposite. At least in the Capitol people only know me as the latest Victor, here people actually know me. I have family here, old friends who won't recognise who I am now. What do I say? How do I act? There are so many ways I should step off this train and present myself to my loved ones that I can't focus on one.

Being myself is an option, though my identity is still partly lost to me. Mai's helping me piece myself back together, bit by bit, but it's a gradual process.

They diverted the train so we could go the long route, just to give me a chance to collect myself after the interview. It's a courtesy I didn't think they'd allow, but for the cameras they want me at my best, after the interview I couldn't put my thoughts into words. That isn't who they want me to be so an extra day gave me the chance to toughen up.

I'm ready, or as ready as I can possibly be.

"We're here," Mai peeks her head round the corner and smiles warmly. I nod back and stand up, steadying my heavy breathing and place my hands by my side. There are already cameras flashing somewhere outside the window. We slowly come to a halt and I put all I can into calming myself.

"I'll be right behind you Cloe, don't worry."

Mai guides me to the door, squeezes my shoulder and slowly, it slides open. The District explodes into action the second I'm revealed. The light blinds me, I shield my eyes as I take the first step down to the gravel walkway. Cameras snap my every move. My feet kick up stones between every footstep whilst I progress down the line that's been made. The crowd has been split into two, some people reach out to simply touch me when I pass them by, others hoot and whistle for me, screaming my name.

I'm a celebrity in my own District. I hate it.

Eventually I reach the end of the path, it curves round a platform that's been elevated a few inches above the ground. Behind the figures standing there, the sun flashes again and I flinch, closing my eyes for a brief second. Then I open them and there they stand, calling out to me.

My father's beaming with one hand wrapped round my mother's waist, the other waving me forwards. The pair of them look picture perfect, unlike the parents I left behind when I was reaped. They wanted me to be the one to come home, disregarding Aryanna as nothing more than an obstacle. It was harder on my mother to do so, even now I can sense she's unhappy. But she's submissive towards my father, he gets his way and he got it the day I won the Hunger Games.

Next to them, my Aunt and Uncle smile timidly, clutching onto one another. There's nothing I can feel towards my father but resentment, my mother something similar. When I walk closer and closer to my Aunt and Uncle, I see Aryanna in them, the way they try to smile but can't quite match it with their glistening eyes, filling with the light traces of tears.

Father... mother... you can wait, I'm here for them.

The second my arms wrap round the two of them, pulling them in tight and burying my head over the joint arms, they collapse into tears. The cameras continue to click and capture every moment of our reunion but I don't care right now. My mother and father got to keep their daughter, these two parents... two parents who actually cared, lost theirs. Screw what my parents expect from me, I'm done with pretending for them anymore.

"Aryanna would be proud," my aunt whispers through her silent sobs. Her hand grazes her cheeks, wiping the tears but only more continue to fall. I can sense the tension over my shoulder, my father slowly becoming angrier and angrier the more I ignore him.

It's not his life anymore. I trained for him, I smiled for him, I was the perfect imperfect daughter for him. I won the stupid Games so now it's time I got to spend my life being with the people I really care about.

"Come on, we should go."

I pull away gently, unwrapping my arms from the embrace. The second I step back I feel his grip, smell his scent on his breath. He pulls me round, mouth pulled taut and eyes flashing with fury. For the cameras though, he holds it back. But I know my father, the red surging beneath that skin, my mother too cowardly to step up and say something.

"It's good to see you Cloe," he says through gritted teeth, attempting to pull me into a hug. This time though, no, not ever again.

I forcefully push into his chest and stumble backwards, away from my parents. My mother gasps, father goes bright red and I see his hand clench into a fist. Out the corner of my eye, the entire District soaks this up, plenty of people who know my father smiling, a few people laughing.

His face flushes and he steps backwards, holding my mother's hand tightly.

"We thought you'd be a little more welcoming, Cloe. We've missed you."

Lies. He hasn't missed me, the only reason he watched that screen was to either check if I was going to bring him the glory and wealth back to him or die an embarrassment and relinquish my Harker name so his damn reputation could remain clean. My mother nods and attempts a smile but I can't, I won't, reciprocate it.

My hands find my Aunt's and I push myself towards the pair of them.

"I'm going home. My new home," I turn to face my crying relatives and lower the volume of my voice so only the people on this platform can hear. "Aryanna cared for you, more than she probably showed. If you'd accept, I'd like you to move in with me, to the Victor's Village. We both would like that."

Somewhere, Aryanna is smiling for me. The two of them look shocked, a sharp intake of breath over my shoulder and once again, he closes the gap and places a hand on me.

Instantly, I shrug him off and glare at him.

"If you come anywhere near us, I'll have you arrested. I'm a Victor now, I'm not yours anymore."

I spend a single second in the attention of my mother and nod at her, the bond not there but not as damaged. I can't blame her for everything but I can't be here with her any longer. She had her chance and she blew it. I'm the new Cloe, I'm no longer going to stand back and let people walk over me for their personal gain.

It's time I took control and the first step: help the people I care about more than anything. They deserve that for what they've been through, they deserve some form of comfort. After all I've been through, what Aryanna sacrificed so I could come home, her parents need that respite. And I'm giving it to them, a chance to grieve in a place they can call home.

"We're done here," I say to my parents and before anyone, Capitolite or citizen of District Four, can say anything; I lead my Aunt and Uncle away, towards the Victor's Village.

I'm not just doing this for Aryanna, I'm doing it for the fourty-seven people who have left behind people who loved and cared for them. They won't get this, forever they'll have to mourn and attempt to live on without their child, brother, sister, whatever their connection. If I can help one family though to move past what the Hunger Games took, it's one step forwards that I'm more than happy to take.

If I'm going to be stuck reliving the Games, the nightmare of kids being slaughtered for entertainment, this is something for myself as well. Relief. I finally know who I am now, who I should be and what I should do.

I'm a Victor of a Quarter Quell. Something only one other person can share with me. I'll be known for years to come for things I want to forget. But in the end, that's fine, because I found myself through it all. The Hunger Games changed me, fixed me, made me whole.

For those who died, I'm going to live my life like they would have wanted to live theirs. In memory of them, I'm not going to change for anyone else. I'm me, Cloe Harker. And for the first time, I finally realise that that's not a bad thing, it's something to be proud of.

Move Along by The All-American Rejects

Author's Note: Anddddddddd it's over. Fight or Flight has reached its conclusion.

Took me around 9 months, but hey, no quitting here. I actually did it woop!

I know with fourty-eight tributes the recaps were always going to be long, but I wanted to write the recaps since I started this so that was always going to happen. Plus, it's nice to see the Games in a summary (even if that part of the chapter was like 4,000-5,000 words). I was never going to go into the future of the victor, that in my opinion wasn't necessary. A reunion with family was important, especially for Cloe considering Aryanna and all that, so I'm happy with what I've put together.

Now Immy, my reason for choosing Cloe as the victor aw here we go!

At first, honestly, Cloe wasn't victor material. She bordered on being totally self-pitying and at first relied a lot on Aryanna for any kind of strength inside. Then, she started to change the second she stood up for herself and decided to not be with the careers. Things would have worked out so differently if that had have happened, I doubt Cloe would have won if she hadn't have made the decision to stick with Aryanna. From that moment on, I saw a lot of potential in her character. She started off as weak, always angry at herself for her vulnerability and looked to Aryanna for support.
Through that Aryanna started to see what she was doing to Cloe, and once the Games hit the two... yeah, one of my top three alliances to write for, even when they were split up and rejoined with Chip. Cloe developed as an independent girl without Aryanna, she started to realise she didn't need to hate herself and that if she was determined enough she could do well. There were always little drops of her old ways throughout and it's that vulnerable side mixed in with a stronger, developed tribute that gave me the perfect Victor. It's good to have a victor made stronger through the Games rather than a broken one, she was ideal and fit that desired role.
Thank you for submitting her to me Immy, really. I couldn't have asked for a better tribute to come out of this as the victor.

Anyway, I don't have any questions I can think of to ask. Really, I asked everything important in the finale chapter. Maybe what you thought of this entire story as a whole? Yeah go with that.

A big thanks to everybody who submitted a tribute, read, reviewed, favourited, followed and all that stuff. You've all helped me great through this from the prologue to the epilogue.

And that's it, over and done with. It's really been great, so yeah thanks again. Fight or Flight is finished!