"C'mon Sirius, it's just me. I won't tell anyone if it's that big of a deal." James swatted his head.

"There's nothing to tell! I told you, I'm not 'mooning' over some bird." Sirius hit James back. He's not 'mooning' over anyone.

Why did he say mooning anyway? Does he think it's Moony? Ridiculous. He's not mooning over Remus.

It's not that Remus isn't good looking. Sirius isn't fussed over who he sleeps with, so he has no problem seeing Remus is quite handsome in his own right. His eyes are somewhere between honey and chocolate and his scars give him a rugged sort of look. If, you know, you're into that sort of thing. Sirius isn't. Sirius likes blokes that don't correct his grammar or mock his taste in music.

Sirius would never be into a guy that always does his essays an extra foot long and gets straight E's and O's. Sirius is way more interested girls anyway. They're needy but they don't pay attention. They don't notice his problems with home. They don't bother to ask about his brother. They always want to please him, never dare argue with a Black. They laugh at his jokes, even the lewd ones. They think all of his pranks are clever. Women are just easier than men.

Then again, birds are messy. They always want to know how you're feeling. All that feelings crap makes him sick. Why can't they just have fun? Why can't dates be a good time instead of the obligatory precursor to shagging?

Sirius thinks that might be the good thing about blokes. He think his ideal date might be going to Honeydukes then hanging out in the Shrieking Shack. James would laugh at him for saying that, call him a girl. If he has to go on a date, though, he'd want it to be a good time. Maybe talk about how much they hate Professor Pratt. Remus calls him Professor Twat.

If he liked anyone, she'd be quiet. Not like Susan Wrightborne, his last girlfriend. She'd never shut up about his hair or Witches Weekly. She was also like that in bed. Not the worst place to be loud, but she nearly broke his silencing charms on the dorm. This hypothetical girl would be attractive, definitely. Maybe not a bombshell, though. He'd had enough of those. She'd be smart, too. All of his girlfriends – and the few guys he'd sampled – have been dull in that department. He's tired of the same conversations. The same shallow topics everyone expects him to be concerned about. He doesn't give two shits about the latest gossip.

Sirius wants someone who won't underestimate him like everyone else. Someone with eyes you could melt in. Someone brilliant. Someone with surprisingly defined abs.

Sirius pretends he didn't think that. Again. Stop that or you'll get your hopes up, you idiot. James is looking at him a bit funny. "What, Prongs?"

"Nothin'. 'ts nothin'." James bumps his shoulder and waves Remus over to them across the hall. "Moony! Sirius' got himself a new girlfriend!" Remus scowls at James, but Sirius catches his warm eyes flickering with to his own, meeting them with concern.

And okay, so maybe he's mooning a little. Maybe he's a little bit in love with his best mate.