Kinda just some more filler. Want to show some bonding with Fili, Kili, Ori, and Robin, and you kinda see some more of their respective characters. Would like to mention SakuraYuuki19, my reviewer. She and I have been role-playing in a forum by Alex the Sorceress. Maybe one of you readers could join as the witch king or somebody. Lizzie O3 AppleJucie is the reviewer of the week, and Lucia123 recommended that I add Truth or Dare right when I was in the middle of writing their dialogue during the game of Truth. Kudos to your awesome mind reading.

Authoress: Haha, another chapter. Gandalf threatened to take it away, but when he heard about the threat of a resurrected witch king, he became so engrossed in his iphone, he forgot. Hopefully he forgot about me.

Gandalf: Miss Jackson, the white council has summoned you for questioning.

Authoress: Buzz off old guy, I need to get this chappie posted. Oh, rings preserve us, not Captain Hook, ahem, white ugly pale dude again. He is

brandishing his arm and looking ticked off. Where is a crocodile when I need one.

Azog: Prepare to die.

Authoress: Gandalf HELP ME! - gandalf is staring at his phone and does not realize my peril. I pick up the spell book thing. Smoke starts issuing from it and a balrog flies out.- Gandalf is totally going to murder me. While pale mr hook ork guy is about to get fried, I sneak away.

Chapter 5- A Game of Truth and a Hair Wash

"On your feet, on your feet," roared Dwalin's voice, "or we'll leave you behind!" I sprang up hastily and looked around, no sign of the boys. What a relief,

in a way. It would have been highly embarrassing if I had woken up like an oreo cookie. (A certain author will understand what I mean). A hurried, though

delicious stew, and then the ponies were hastily packed. Fili sauntered over, gave a courtly bow, and gave me his trademark smile, "How did you sleep?" I

rolled my eyes, donned my boots, and pulled on the leather armor shirt that was scaly and looked interesting. "Will you ride with me today? We can tell

each other more stories about how bad we were." "Cant we tell them just fine from Ori's pony and a meter between us?" I asked sweetly. "Hey," said Kili

rushing over, "I get her today." Hello, selfish dwarf princes, I am not a favorite teddy bear for you to be arguing over. "Not so fast little brother, you had

your chance yesterday." "Excuse me, she rode with Ori." "Still, doesn't matter. If you had really wanted her to ride with you then you would have taken

matters into you hands," Fili said with a teasing smile at his brother. "Don't you guys feel cramped with me along," I interrupted, trying to break up the

sibling rivalry. "With someone as fair as you?" teased Fili, "of course not." "Stow the fancy talk blondie," I grinned, "It's all a bunch of hogwash and you

know it." "She rides with me this time," said Kili getting all riled up. Now I really felt like a teddy bear being used as a tug of war game.

"Only one way to solve this," said Fili after they went back and forth, "And that is for Robin to do it. Give a kiss to the person you want to ride with." I

swear, he smirked so deviously I wanted to smack him. I pranced off and gave a kiss to Ori, on the cheek of course. "You don't mind me again?" I

asked in response to his aflame face. He looked sheepish, yet somehow happy. "hey, not him again," said Kili in shock. Fili just seemed amused at how

I had escaped from them, but his younger brother seemed genuinely upset. "Take a bath and then I'll ride with you," I teased. "I'll do that," he called

out from his pony. Everyone stared. "He must really like you," said Bofur incredulously. "And why is that?" I said, as we started away. "As you noticed,

he never, no never, takes a bath," was the answer. All I could reply was "Gross." "See lassie, you'll be a good influence of him yet." I sighed. Kili put

his pony next to mine and just stared at me accusingly with his gorgeous eyes. "What?" I barked. "Talk to me," was all he said. Another awkward

questions session about my life. Oh boy. "About what?" "Tell me about yourself?" was his request. I sighed. He wanted to know lots of info about me

huh? Was this the Middle Earth equivalent to bringing your special person to meet the in-laws? Whatever, and I plunged ahead. "Right. My name is

Robin. I am not a bad shot at archery as you saw, I love pointy objects, purple is my favorite color, I like watching the stars at nighttime, I am always

getting into trouble and being yelled at, blahblah blah. I like to sing when no one is around, I play the flute when no one is around, and I like to draw

when no one is around. I am loud, and obnoxious, and I have been told by outright strangers what an unpleasant person I am and that they shuddered

for my future husband." I paused for a breath and he laughed one of his beautiful musical rare laughs. "I agree about the obnoxious part," he said,

"but I don't shudder for your future husband. In fact, I envy him." Crap, that was a little to something. Kinda awkward to. I blushed, and Fili, who had

been watching us intently, used this as an excuse to come over. As the road was wide, he got on my other side. "Is someone's face red?" he asked

inquisitively. I leaned over to swat him, but he ducked, and I would have fallen if Kili hadn't grabbed me by my other arm and righted me. "Its your

imagination," was all I said. He just shrugged. "I couldn't help but catch some of your conversation," he said, "want to let me join in.?" "No," was Kili's

gruff response. "Whatever," was my airy reply, "lets play a game called Truth. Everyone takes a turn, one at a time, and has to answer truthfully the

questions put to him by the others. Ori, you get to go first, 'What is your favorite pastime?" "Drawing and practicing my handwriting," he said with an

embarrassed face. "What is your favorite weapon besides a slingshot?" said Kili looking bored. "Um, umm, I don't know. Ugh, a sharp pen?" The

princes looked puzzled but I slapped his back, "You know what they say, the Pen is Mightier than the Sword." "Who do you dislike most in this

company?" said Fili staring at me as he asked the question. "Um, I don't dislike anyone," he said with a puzzled look. "You have to answer," I said in a

singsong voice. "Fili," he finally said, "he was the first person to get me drunk." I raised my eyebrow and Fili just laughed, "That," he said, "is a story

for another time." "Right," I said, "Fili, your turn then. Who do you admire most?" "Uncle," he said, "even though he belted me plenty as a lad." "Who

do you like best that is present," said Kili with a challenge in his tone. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea that I suggested this game. "Oh, it would be a

tossup over my horse and the fair lady," and I saw him give his brother a look. "That is a mistruth," I said, wagging my finger at him, "you will now

receive a penalty." "Its not a mistruth," he said, "after my horse and my brother, I love you and Thorin best." "I feel so loved being grouped with

him," I commented, "seriously Blondie boy, I've known you for about five days. I could turn out to be a really villainous and evil shape shifting spider

that wants to entangle you in a web and then eat you whole. Be careful who you say you love. Its those you love that can hurt you the most." "Is that

why you wont get close to anyone?" said Fili, staring at me intently. "Ori, ask his royal highness a question!" I said, cutting off the debate. "Hmm, what

is your favorite dish?" "Dish as in food, or in the plate? If it's the tableware, it would have to be Mr. Baggins hundred year old china. Food wise, its ale

soaked boar incrusted in pepper. Kili, your turn. Who do you like best that is present?" These two could be world class jerks, even though they were

raised as royalty, I thought with a grimace. "Oh, well it isnt you," Kili said with a smile, "it would have to be a certain dark haired lady with bluish

green eyes and a beautiful smile." "Oh for the love of Alagaesia," I said with some anger, "stop this ridiculousness at once. Kili, why don't you braid

your hair like everyone else?" Kili turned red, "Well, I'd rather not answer that," he said sheepishly. "Start talking or I'll scalp you," I threatened. "Well,

you get braids for the great things you have done, or if you are an heir, or are very brave. You also get special braids for saving your leader's life. I

have done none of those things, so I just keep it plain and simple." "So you have braids because you are Thorin's heir," I said turning to Fili, "so if he

gets married and has lots of kids you need to take those braids out?" "Nope," he said, "Since I am the first born, and was Thorin's heir at one time, I

still get a special precedence. I also saved his life once or twice so that is special to." "You did?" I asked with evident curiosity, "how?" He shrugged me

off, "Doesn't Ori have to ask Kili something?" I glared at him but he ignored me. So royally polite. Must run in the family. "Why don't you grow out

your beard?" said Ori with a mischievous smile. "no, I am not answering that," he exclaimed, "I will definitely not say. You sneaky little twerp," and he

glared wrathfully at little Ori. "You better tell them brother. The Truth alright. No dodging it now?" said Fili with an almost sadistic grin of glee on his

face. "No, I cant," groaned Kili. I saw this was really distressing him, "Hey, hey," I said with a tender tone in my voice, "its okay. You don't need to say

anything." He looked at me gratefully, "I'll tell you," he said softly, "just in private. Ori has been trying to wheedle the truth out of me for years. All

that Fili's fault," and he gave his brother the evil eye. "What do you like to do when you are bored?" asked Ori. "I became destructive, break things,

scream, and cut people's hair." I said with an evil sinister laugh. "who do you like best?" said Kili. Oh my gosh, this stupid question has come up three

times. "Ori," I said with a squeal, and gave him a big hug. The brothers rolled their eyes. "Have you ever been in love?" asked Fili. "No, nor do I plan

on doing so," I said, giving him a firm look. Meaning: I don't plan on falling for you! Allright, that helped the time pass by. I racked my brain for

another diversion. "I am going to come up with nicknames for you three since you are my BFFs," I said, "any ideas what I should call you?" "What is a

BFF?" asked Ori. "A Best Friend Forever," I said, "I have never had one before." They all looked at each other with puzzlement, "You have never had a

best friend?" said Kili, "why, I have always had Fili, and then I guess uncle, and then there was our stupid cousin who wasn't to bad." "Yeah, where I

come from, I am a bit of a loner," I said, adjusting myself on the saddle. Daarniit, this was getting uncomfortable. "Glad you think I am one of your

best friends," said Fili leaning in closer. Kili, Ori, and I all rolled our eyes. I swatted his arm, "Yeah sure your most Royal Highness, I am going to give

you a really cheesy nickname, so watch out!" We all laughed. "Later let's play Truth OR Dare," I said, "it's even more annoying than what we just

did. But not right now. Right now I am beat." I settled in the saddle and tried to get more comfortable. "Ugh, this is miserable." I groaned. My thighs

were as sore as sore could be. Bracing my hands on Ori's shoulders, I stood up on the horse's back, then carefully sat down to the side as if it was a

side saddle. Agh, so much better! Since I was in danger of falling off every second, I had to keep a tight arm around Ori's waist. "Now why cant that be

me," I heard Kili mutter. I just smiled. Guys will be guys, whether in middle earth, earth, or some far far away planet, like Asgard, or Hoth. We were

just riding along, enjoying the pretty scenery of a ethereal forest when Bomber's pony lost a shoe, causing it to go slightly lame. The dwarves decided

to stop in a glade and reshoe the horse, or it would become lame beyond hope. I yawned and stretched from the pony's back. It had to be about 1:00,

and I was ready for a little walking break, besides other things. I was about to slide off when bam wham whoah, Fili and Kili were there in front of me

offering to help me dismount. For the love of Aule, a little personal space. Sighing heavily and loudly, so they would maybe get the point that I was

fine, I take their hands. The other dwarves were already getting ready to reforge a horse shoe, so I wandered away for a privacy break.

General POV

Fili watched the girl wander off then went up to his brother, "Kili, there is a stream over there. If you want a chance to ride with the gal you better jump in

and look presentable." Kili just glared at his brother but went over toward the water. "Well?' Fili asked, grinning, as if looking forward to what he was

about to see. "Don't rub it," he said. He huffed and puffed several times, but finally sat down, took off his boots, great coat and weapons, and stepped

cautiously into the water. It wasn't high, just coming up to his waist, and very warm.

Robin's POV

I had just stepped out into the glade when I saw Kili in a stream dousing his head with water. He then jumped out and looked at me as if seeking my

approval. "That is no bath," I said, coming over, "you need to wash your hair, scrub a bit at those filthy clothes, and put on a suit or tie." "Wash my hair?"

he exclaimed, ignoring the part about the suit and tie, which he probably didn't understand. I went over to my pack, dug out the shampoo, conditioner,

and a comb, and came back over. Pouring a generous amount on his hair, I then sat down on the bank. "Run it through you hair and then scrub really

hard," I said, watching as he gave it a feeble go. "It might be easier if you did it for me," he said with a serious face. Fili laughed and sat down on the bank

next to me. I sighed, "Get back into the water and wet your hair again." He did as told, and I proceeded to scrub away. "When one has long hair it needs to

be washed often," I said, feeling embarrassed and wondering why I was doing this. "What about me?" asked Fili, highly amused at what I was doing. "You

have long hair to," I said, "you just got it all stowed up in fancy braids. After him, you are next." "You mean you'll do my hair to?" he asked, as if looking

forward to it. I rolled my eyes, "I am not your mother," I said sarcastically, "you are a big boy and can do it yourself. Kili is just still a little kid and needs to

be mothered. You are finished, kiddo." Fili took out all his braids and flopped his hair about, "It feels weird," he said with a tinge of a whine. "That is

because its disgustingly dirty," I said looking at it with a bit of fake revulsion, "yuck." "With you cleaning it, it soon wont be," he said with a wink. "That is

enough flirting from you," said Kili, and pulled his brother in, causing a loud splash. "You guys are hilarious," I said with a chuckle. "They are not hilarious,"

roared a voice in my eye. I gave a squeak in surprise and found myself suddenly in the water. I came up spluttering, "You are evil Dwalin," I said to his

retreating form, "you bald menace." Did he just push me in? I sighed. Another bath wouldn't do me any harm. I unbraided my hair and pulled off my

leather armor, throwing it on the bank, leaving me in my linen shirt and bodice. They both just stared at me. "You are beautiful," said Kili dreamily.

"Echoing my sentiments exactly, brother," said Fili, smirking at my red face. "What?" I exclaimed, "no no no. Wah, egads no," I splashed them vigorously

with water then tackled them both. They came up gasping for air. "No compliments like that," I said sternly. They just started laughing. So nice to be

respected like that, huh? "Are you going to do my hair?" asked Blondie. "Nah, better not," I said, looking at Thorin who had his back turned to us. What a

relief. "See,' said Kili with a smirk, "she likes me better." I got out of the water and flopped down. "No, no, NO," I said, "Fili is just so ladidadida that I'd

melt into a gooey mess if I came any closer." I stared at the two boys in the water, No romance, I told myself, you don't want to get attached and then

wake up in your own room and never see them again. The risk, just not worth it. "I am so glad that you like me better," he said, staring me in the eye. "Stop

being ridiculous," I said, "think of your uncle!" "Agh, who cares about him," said Kili, and he pulled me in, picked me up, spun me around, and then threw

me. "Stop goofing around," I yelled, and I splashed a wave in his face. We goofed off for a few minutes, and after Fili kept wheedling me and telling me

not to show partiality, I finally caved in and gave his hair a quick wash. I then showed them how to do cannon balls, and then we climbed out and sat on

the bank, where we dangled our legs in the water. I took this time to clean my hair then lay back in the sun filled grass with a sigh of contentment. The

grass was cushy and green, and a warm, comforting breeze blew, drying out our hair and clothes. "We will most likely be moving out in about an hour,"

said Fili, gazing at the tree tops. I glanced at him, his golden blonde hair pooling out on the grass. I then angled my head to look at Kili, his hair all shiny,

and I smiled. I looked back up at the sky, watching the sun through the leaves, and felt strangely peaceful and at home. "Will you ride with me now, fair

lady," came Kili's voice, just a faint breath in my ear. "I will consider it," I said, not committing to anything, "so, tell me why you wont grow out your

beard," I asked, just to change the subject. He sighed. "You cant tell anyone sweetheart, no one. Only Fili and I know." "Spit it out," I said. "Well, of course,

archery would be very hard to do with a beard getting caught in it and all, but, the real reason is because Fili and I did a stupid wager when we were kids,

and I lost." "Agh hah, so the villainous older brother is the root of the of the problem," I said with a laugh. "Yeah. I was just learning archery, and nobody

liked that I was doing it, since they thought it was to elvish, and my mother always said how she couldn't wait for my beard to grow out and then I would

have to stop. Fili and I had both gotten in trouble, sent to our rooms, without dinner. Anyway, ugh, are you sure you want to hear this?" I just gave him a

look. He sighed then continued, "We were angry, and ugh, young, well, long story short, we decided to run away." I looked at him sharply. "Don't look at

me," he said with a nervous laugh, "it wasn't my idea. Since I am the youngest, whatever, I followed his suggestion. We packed our things and went into

the hills right above our city. Of course, Thorin followed us. We were hiding in a little cliff, and we could see him from where we were. Oh, he was yelling

how we were going to get whipped. Oh, this is so embarrassing, and violent, maybe I shouldn't…" "If you stop I will scream in your ear," I said. He gritted

his teeth, "So, I was so dumb, I yelled out that he couldn't whip us if he couldn't find us. Of course he looked up. I yelled at him that he would never catch

us and we both took off running. As we were making our escape from an enraged uncle Fili yelled at me, "That was dumb. He is going to catch, and then

beat us." I just yelled back that he wasn't going to catch us. Even when we were fleeing for our lives, that dolt still had to make a bet. He said if we got

away he'd cut off all his hair, but if uncle caught us, I couldn't grow out my beard until I saved his life and uncle's." He stopped. "That isnt an embarrassing

story," I said, "but how did he catch you?" Kili wouldn't answer so his brother did. "Kili tripped over a root, fell into me, and thus, sealed our fates."

"Groovy," I muttered. "So what happened next?" "Um, a warg attacked us, tried to bite off Thorin's head, and Fili saved his life, and ours, in the process,"

said Kili looking at his brother with a small degree of jealousy. I squealed, ugh, so girlish, "That is so awesome Fili. You saved his life? That must be when

you got those braids." And I sat up and gave him an awkward hug. Then I gave Kili one to, "You guys are so neat," I said, "and trust me Kili, you look way

better without the beard," and I winked at him. He blushed slightly, "Glad you think so." "So, how did his High and Mightiness react to his bratty little

runaway nephew saving his royal hide?" I said with a bit of a sneer. "As you might expect," came yours truly from behind us, "he was honored with great

ceremony, and," he added with a hint of a smile, "they got out of their just punishment." I cocked my head and looked at him with puzzlement. Did the

Great Grouchy Oakenshield just give us all a patronizing smile? Unbelievable. He walked a way and all I could mutter was,"Crrreeeppy!" I sat up, shook

out my hair, which didn't have a shred of moisture left in it, and stretched. My velvet pants were all my dry, and my shirt was just a bit damp. It had been

nice, just laying in the sun for an hour doing nothing. Kili seemed all dried out, but his brother wasn't no lucky, having been pulled in in his great coat and

boots. I shook out my hair again and started combing it. I then tossed the comb at Kili but he just stared at me. "What?" I said with a bit of a snap. "Can you

comb my hair?" My mouth dropped open, "Buzz off and die, dude. I am not you mom, sister, girlfriend, wife, etc etc. Find someone else to coddle you."

"But there is no one else as pretty as you Robin," he said. I hit him on the head, "Stop flirting or I'll yell for Thorin." I gave him a seriously evil glare. Thank

you Thorin. I learned it from you. I froze in my mini tirade, watching with fascination as Fili braided his hair at lightening speed. "Whoah," I said. Hey, I was

impressed. I'm a girl and not even my braids look that smooth and perfect. "Did I impress you?" He asked with a teasing smile. I just gave a small nod.

"Here, look what I can do with yours." He sat down behind me and fiddled with my hair for a couple minutes, while Kili's dark eyes and his pretty face

grew as dark as a stormcloud. I felt so self conscious and girly, I felt like squealing. But my inner feminist squelched it. "all done," said Fili, turning me

around so he could look at my face. He must of liked what he saw, for an admiring smile split his features. I gazed into the water to see my reflection and

gave a small gasp. My hair was done up in an elaborate braided updo that that any bride or prom queen would envy. I smiled, "Thanks so much Fili." He

just gave me a smug self satisfied smile, got up, and walked away. I shook out my armor, folded it up, and went over to my pack and put it away. It was

warm out, and I didn't want my now clean shirt to develop body odor. I would just have to stay in my plain shirt. "That all looked very promising," said

Bofur, coming over with his pony, "dwarves braid the hair of people they have feelings for. Feelings as in more than friends" "Stow it!" I muttered. "Ooh Lass, did I hit a

sore spot, did…" I pulled his hat over his face, "I said "STOW IT. We are just friends. I am going to make sure it remains that way!" Kili just had

to choose that moment to saunter over. "Well?" he asked questionably. "Go ask your uncle," I said, trying to diplomatically deter him. I watched as Bofur

struggled with his hat. "I don't need his permission," the young prince said defensively. "But technically speaking I do," I growled. "He might soon be your

uncle," said Bofur saucily, freeing his face from his hat, "why don't you go ask him yourself?" "STOW IT," I roared loudly, yanking his hat really hard. I

steeled myself and walked over toward Thorin. "Your Highness," I said with a dramatic bow, "your youngest nephew is under the impression that I

promised to ride with him. Do I have your permission to do so?" "Yes." he said shortly. "That's all?" I felt he would have wanted to make me sweat a little

under a fearsome glare under normal conditions. "Yes. Just try to keep in mind what I told you," he said calmly, "I need those boys to be paying attention,

not loosing their minds to a women, ahem, a little girl whom they have known for about a week." "I am trying," I said with a small snort, who likes being

called a little girl? "not encouraging them or anything." "And washing their hair and acting like what I just saw is just being friendly?" he asked, a warning

edge in his voice. My pompousness deflated. This guy was so annoying. And cool. And epic. Why was I on his bad side? "In all seriousness sir," I said, trying

to be as respectful as possible, "I harbor no feelings toward them except as friends. I have the gut feeling that they have no true feelings for me either. I

am just a girl their age, and they are just competing with each other. At least, I hope that's it," I added. "You are no where near their age," he said, "they

are in their seventies and you are sixteen, a mere enfant." I was insulted, and angry, and totally ticked off at this. "Listen, your worshipfulness," I glared,

"where I come from, those two dunderheads would be in their early twenties. You, you royal pain, would be in your thirties. I did the math last night. I am

not an enfant either, just for clarification. At the age of sixteen, most young people are on the threshold of adulthood. So I am not even that much

younger than you, and when it comes to maturity, heheheh, I think we are about even." I paused for a breath and waited to see how he would react to my

long tirade. "We shall see," he said in his awesome Thorin voice and stalked off, leaving me puzzled and almost disappointed that I hadnt been yelled at.

When he has a rage, its terrifying yet majestic. Since he didn't do it to anyone else, I flattered myself I was somehow special in a way. (Like Director John

Ford, he'd scream his head off at the people he cared about, not that Thorin was anything like him.) Kili came over with his pony as soon as the coast was

clear and looked a question. "Yes, I can ride with you," I said, "but if you do any funny stuff, it's the end, and that's a promise." He just nodded his head in

agreement, helped me up, then swung up behind me. He had so much excitement written on his face, it was like a kid at a fair that had just won a prize. I

sighed, this was going to be annoying. "look at my brother's face," he whispered, "I think he's jealous." "No reason for that," I said, and waved sprightly at

Fili and Ori. I felt Mr. I'm So Handsome tense up, and he moved his horse away from his brother's. Dude, what's the big deal? I was waving my hand for

goodness sakes! This little maneuver didn't pass unseen for Bofur chuckled, "Weell bless mi buttons. The lads havent been rivals since they were in their

thirties. Over a girl no less." "Shut it," three voices yelled at him. "Come on lass, you'll have to choose one or the other before the journey's end."

"Gandalf, a little help here?" I called out to the wizard. He puffed on his pipe, blew a few rings then said, "If you did choose one of them you wouldn't be

having this conversation." Are you serious? Did Gandalf really just say that? The meddling old coot! "Blasted old man, not worth your keep," I muttered.

"What?" said Bilbo, staring at my angry face with a bit of understanding. "Forget it," I growled. Even with cute hats, Bofur and Gandalf could be more

annoying than they were worth.

What did ya think? Somebody PMed me and like flamed me for having a triangle maybe rectangle thing. I was so hurt. They insinuated I was some type of weirdo. I was so sad I almost didn't want to post this chapter, but then I remembered my five reviewers and I took heart. The Story shall go on. I really cant be posting on the week days because of parents and pc time, but I decided to anyway. Hope You Liked It. Next chapter sneak peak: riding with Kili, maybe the game truth or dare, and the whole orc screams, fili and kili teasing bilbo thing. See Ya

Gandalf appears looking mad. He was able to exorcise the balrog, but he is fuming mad at me.

Authoress: Gives puppy eyes. "Not my fault. Please so please please please don't take my story away. Its all I have. _tries to cry but its to fake to sway Gandalf-

Gandalf: You are causing to much trouble. A balrog, a witch king, an angry ork. To much for me to handle.

Authoress: Its not my fault. Blame Peter Jackson. No, not the witch king again!

Gandalf: Return to whence you came foul creature,

Authoress: oh no, gandalf is about to get brained and obliterated. Handy Dandy Spell book.

Smaug: Where is my treasure? My gold? My rubies? My gems? Nooooooooooo!

Authoress: Does he sound creepily like Benedict Cumberbatch or what?

Smaug: Where am i? My precious! Starts crying.

Authoress:WOW! So emotional. Mr Dragon, could you maybe blast a bit of fire at that black hooded guy over there. - Dragon fixes her with a violent glare- squeak, maybe not such a good idea after all.

Thorin: I thought the dragon was at Erebor.

Authoress: Looks away and starts whistling.

Gandalf: This woman is a total imbecile.

Authoress: A what? Excuse me, you were the one who got sucked into his phone when I was about to be killed. It was self defense. I also saved your life, you gray bearded wiz.

Smaug: My beautiful treasure, all gone, all gone! Where is it?

Authoress: Poor guy, he's having an emo breakdown. While everyone is staring at Smaug wondering how he got here, I can sneak away and prepare to wreck more havoc myself on Middle Earth. Mwahhahaha

The Wacky MidAdventures of a Loono Authoress…. To Be Continued….