Author's Introduction: It's simple, really. Booth says things, then he reverses himself or forgets what he's said. Brennan catches him and naturally brings it up. It started when I was mining some unpublished one-shots and episode tags I've got laying around, and I realized I could link some of them thematically. So, here begins a series of one-shots where someone gets caught. ;)

These will vary from steamy to fluffy, angsty to funny, depending my mood and the topic. Some of them may veer into AU territory, though I will maintain characterization. I'm rating this series an M because some individual chapters will go there but each chapter is individually rated for content. There will be plenty of T chapters for those who prefer them. At the bottom of this first chapter there's a brief summary of each story to help you quickly locate whatever type of Catch you're in the mood for.

Now, on to the first Catch!

The Premise: After learning a man Brennan is 'dating' seems happy with the platonic arrangement, Booth insists the guy must be gay. Why? Because a straight man would surely want to have sex with a beautiful woman and Temperance Brennan is definitely beautiful. I suspect he didn't think that argument all the way through...

The current chapter is a T for sexuality.

Episode tag to The Man in the Outhouse

The Catch in the Contradiction

1st Catch: Platonic

~Q~

Booth strode in confidently, snagging a barstool right next to his partner's table. "Hey, Bones."

Brennan had been smiling at something her companion was saying, but her smile dissolved into shock and confusion when Booth caught her attention. Seeing Sweets shuffling in behind, Brennan's jaw fell open as she struggled to figure out what her partner was up to.

Wearing an amused and knowing grin, Booth turned and introduced himself to Brennan's date, immediately staking the boundaries of his territory with a seemingly friendly greeting. "Hi. Special Agent Booth, her partner."

"Hi," the man answered, his uncertainty evident.

"I'm Dr. Lance Sweets. I'm their therapist," Sweets offered. He sounded almost dazed, realizing that he'd unwittingly allowed Booth to drag him into the most intriguing interplay between the partners he was ever likely to see. Booth had mentioned she had a date when explaining their argument by the elevators earlier that afternoon. The tension was throbbing between them, her eyes flashing dangerously and Booth's smirk firmly in place. She had left, Booth had shrugged off her date as unimportant, and now here they were.

"Jason DeFry," the man sitting across from Brennan offered.

Brennan was dressed simply, but elegantly, in a black cocktail dress and sleek blazer. Her hair was smooth and flowed loosely over her shoulders. Wearing heavier makeup than usual, her eyes sparkled under just enough smoky grey eye-shadow to emphasize their remarkable color. Her lips shone smoothly pink, glistening just a little in the diner's overhead lights. She was lovely in her typically understated way.

Her companion didn't seem to dwell on her face and neither did Booth, but Sweets found himself surreptitiously admiring her while Booth launched into a brotherly interrogation.

"DeFry," Booth repeated, as if taking notes for later follow-up. Sweets had no doubt this name would be plugged into the NCIC database within the next 12 hours.

Jason regarded Sweets curiously. "Do you … follow them around all the time?"

"No," Sweets chuckled, torn between embarrassment and lingering gratitude that he was about to witness some spectacular fireworks. "No, no, I'm also a profiler. I help with their cases."

Jason's eyes rested on Brennan, awkwardly. She offered a sheepish grin, as if to beg his understanding that she had no control over wayward coworkers.

Sweets leaned toward Booth, whispering. "Did you know she was on a date?"

"Slipped my mind," Booth lied, the words falling glibly out of the corner of his mouth.

Sweets regarded Booth speculatively, knowing full well this was entirely intentional. They were here to stop Brennan's date in its tracks, of that Sweets had no doubt. The only question was why, exactly. And how much was Brennan going to figure out by the evening's end.

The FBI agent's amused eyes never left Jason's face. "Spiffy suit, man."

"Thanks," Jason beamed. "Picked it up in Italy." He rocked a bit jauntily from side to side.

"It's a little tight," Booth observed. He looked at Jason, but the comment seemed aimed at the woman seething silently nearby.

"That's the style," Jason replied.

"Ever been married?"

Brennan's eyes flashed a warning at her partner. He appeared not to notice.

"No," Jason answered good-naturedly.

"Have a kid?" Booth shot back.

"Never been married, remember?" Jason chuckled, finally betraying a hint of nervousness.

Brennan's jaw clenched.

"I have a kid." Booth's gaze was open, sincere, but the mockery was bubbling just underneath. Jason had unwittingly ended the duel, his only shot going wide and missing the target completely with that faux pas.

"He's never been married," Sweets offered quietly, alerting the man to the insult that he'd unknowingly cast and the victory it had given his rival.

Booth shook his head in an exaggerated 'no,' going on the offensive with the almost comical gesture. And in that moment, Sweets realized he had aligned himself with Booth, against Jason. Maybe against Brennan as well judging by the way her jaw muscles tightened and her brow furrowed. Somehow Booth had pitted himself against Jason and brilliantly arranged to end up the 'victim' while victimizing a man whose only crime was to be on a date with the object of Booth's interest. The tension thickened, pulling taut between the three contenders. Sweets could only watch in amazement as Dr. Brennan was forced to choose which man to defend.

The only one who may have harbored any doubt as to which man she would pick soon found himself dismissed with as much tact as she could manage. "I should get to work, Jason. We've got a murderer to catch. You understand?"

"Yeah, of course. Of course." He stood, sensing the awkwardness was only going to get worse. "It's getting late anyway."

As Jason stood, Booth's gaze took in his expertly tailored suit. The smirk he sent towards Sweets registered with Brennan, who shot him a warning glare.

Jason looked down at Brennan, oblivious to her partner's scathing disapproval. "Listen. I have Coldplay tickets for tomorrow night. I thought maybe we'd grab a bite first…?"

She smiled, revealing white teeth and the consolation of acceptance. "Absolutely. I might have to leave from work."

"No problem," Jason smiled. "I'll meet you at your office, at six?"

"I'll be there," Brennan promised. She stood, accepting a pair of side-cheek-kisses from Jason.

"Nice meeting you all," Jason muttered insincerely as he started toward the door.

Booth waited only a moment before leaning toward his partner and whispering gleefully, "No wonder you two are platonic!"

Brennan's brows shot up in confusion. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Oh, look, I'm fine with it, Bones," he chuckled as he stole Jason's vacated seat. "I have zero problems with it."

As Booth moved into her date's place, Brennan's jaw clenched again in undisguised anger, her eyes turning molten silver as she glared at him openly at last. She understood precisely what was happening.

But Booth distracted her almost immediately. Leaning even closer, he crowed in a stage whisper, "That guy is gay!"

"He is not gay," she declared, but her gaze flickered to Sweets as if seeking his support.

"Please," Booth scoffed. "Double-cheek kiss, tight Italian suit…."

"Coldplay," Sweets interjected.

Brennan glared at the psychologist, clearly recognizing whose side he was on. Booth pulled her attention back. "Never been married…."

"Coldplay," Sweet repeated meaningfully.

"Jason is as heterosexual as either of you," she insisted.

Booth leaned over the table, stabbing her with the pivotal question. "Then how is it that he's okay with not having sex?"

Sweets found himself leaning in, fascinated. "What?"

Brennan shook her head, denying the accusation even as a part of her realized she shouldn't care what Booth thought of Jason. "We share an intellectual bond. I don't have physical feelings for him. He understands that."

Booth smirked. "Not if he's straight. Right?" He glanced to Sweets, seeking back up. "Am I right?"

Sweets found himself nodding. Absolutely no man in his right mind would be satisfied being platonic with the beautiful woman Booth was carefully cornering. And that undoubtedly included Booth himself, Sweets realized in a flash. Suddenly it was all falling into place, just what was happening here. Before he could censor himself, Sweets blurted his agreement. "You are hot."

Brennan's face froze in shock, then a near-blush colored her cheeks. Considering how difficult it was to embarrass the anthropologist, that was saying something.

As for Booth, his gaze hardened, as if he were seeing Sweets as a threat for the first time. The warning glare he sent to the psychologist was unmistakable. Don't comment on her appearance ever again. Don't even think about it. Don't even look.

"You're here for a reason?" Brennan looked desperate to change the subject.

The reason was simply to point out they'd discovered a viable suspect in their current murder investigation. Really, it was nothing much. Her eyes took in both men, her partner and his accomplice, and she nodded confirmation to herself. "This couldn't have waited until after I said good night to Jason…?"

Booth held out his hands in a peace offering. "I'm just looking out for you, all right? You don't have the, uh, best taste in men…."

She stiffened. Her smile collapsed once again into an outraged glare that threatened to slice large chunks out of Booth's hide later. As for Booth, he didn't look nearly as frightened as he should. Brennan stood up, sweeping up her coat and handbag and heading for the cash register. She had money out and slapped down with a call to Vera and turned to glare imperiously at her partner. Booth leaned back in his seat, laughing.

Brennan's furious command reached him from across the Diner. "Since you chased off my ride, you're driving me home, Booth."

"Dude. She is going to kill you," Sweets cautioned.

"No she won't." Booth answered confidently. But he knew better than to keep her waiting.

~Q~

She waited until he got into the car before giving him the most speculative stare he'd ever received. Her head tilted, lower lip wedged between her teeth, Brennan was thinking. Warily, Booth waited for her to pounce. Maybe he should have listened to Sweets because suddenly his partner was looking like she might slay him after all.

"So tell me, Booth," she finally began. And it was not at all what he'd expected. "Are you gay?"

"What?!" He drew back, floundering in astonishment. "No! Why would you ask me that?"

Oh, God, the glint in her eyes was terrifying. Never try to trick a genius, he reminded himself. She had him cornered, he could tell by the way her lips pulled into a feral smile. He didn't even know how she'd done it, where he'd slipped, but he had. She smelled victory and was moving in for the kill.

"Really. Then how is it that you're satisfied with not having sex?"

His mouth dropped open, thunderstruck. He could feel the burn of mortal embarrassment (or terminal desire) roaring over his face, pinkening his ears and drying out his mouth as she watched. Patient, Brennan was patient. Her eyes held his, her smile growing wider when he remained mute and scrambling for a foothold in the scalding hot space she'd left him in. She pulled the rug all the way out from under his stumbling feet with her next question.

"Do you want to have sex with me?"

The flames licked over him, consuming and roasting his flesh like a sacrificial lamb. If he said no, it would be a lie. She would be hurt or worse, accuse him of being gay—and she'd probably broadcast it across the Hoover. If he said yes …. He couldn't say yes: that would be admitting he'd spent the last three years lusting after her. Burning for her. He didn't say anything, the heat of the fire she'd started robbed him of breath anyway.

She leaned in, closing the distance. Her perfume swirled around his head, sending his senses reeling, and her honey-thickened voice sent electric shocks through every nerve in his body. "It's first-order logic. You said a straight man would never be satisfied in a non-sexual relationship with a woman, or more specifically with me. So tell me, are you gay? Or do you want me?"

Brennan lightly bit her lower lip, locking her frost-bitten eyes with his. "Why did you break up my date? It's not fair, Booth. You don't want any other men to have me, but you won't make a move. If you're not gay…."

Her hand swept over his chest and arm almost possessively, causing him to bite back a groan, but it was the trace of her fingertips skating over his leg that finally did him in. They tingled along the inside of his thigh, brushing so close to him that he nearly exploded from anticipation. And then they actually did touch him, scraping up the length of him and the blissful sensation crashed between his thighs.

"…Then you must want me," she breathed into his ear, nipping his lobe lightly with her teeth.

"God, yes! I want you," he gasped, unable to hold it in because the evidence was swelling under her hand. Of course he did. Today, yesterday, every day and twice on Sunday.

"Good."

Her hand withdrew and returned to a prim location on her lap. She sat back, fully composed and eyes facing forward.

Abandoned, shaking, Booth struggled to comprehend what had just happened. "What…?"

"What are you waiting for? Aren't you taking me to my apartment?" she asked, as casually as if the previous five minutes had not happened.

"Bones?"

"Yes, Booth?" She turned her head back to him with a quirked brow of inquiry.

Her guileless gaze floored him. He shook his head, starting to think he'd hallucinated the entire exchange. "Never mind," he muttered.

"Just so you know, it's not a fact until you provide evidence to confirm it," she informed him.

He started the car, but froze in shock as her calmly uttered statement registered. "What?" What isn't a fact?

"I need proof," she smirked, "that you aren't gay." *

~Q~

* For those who are impatient, Brennan gets her proof in Catch #5: Omission.

The updates on this will be further spread out because there are no cliff-hangers here.

Meanwhile, I'm going to ask for feedback on this because I'm very uncomfortable with writing M material. Let me know what you like, what you don't like, and what you'd like to see more of. (Aside from smut, which I'm gradually working my way into. Stay tuned.)

And finally, dear readers, I know some of you must have caught contradictions. Not just Booth, but Brennan or any character is fair game. I've got a total of nine in mind but I'm very open to suggestions. :)

Catching the Right Mood:

(A brief list of all Catches published to date, including genre or tone, who is caught, episodes tagged, rating, & if it's related to any other Catch.)

1. Platonic; humor, romance, Catches Booth; tag to Man in the Outhouse, season 4; rated T, some sexuality. Prequel to Catch #5, Omission.

2. Guy Hugs; romance, Catches Booth; tag to Glowing Bones in the Old Stone House, season 2; rated soft M, sexuality.

3. Taking Risks; angst, romance, Catches Booth & Brennan both; tag to Con Man in the Meth Lab, season 4; rated M, sexuality.

4. Moving On; angst, Catches Booth; tag to Daredevil in the Mold, season 6; rated T (I think?), language. Parallel to Catch #10, Letting Go.

5. Omission; humor, romance, Catches Booth and Brennan both; tag #2 to Man in the Outhouse, season 4; rated M, sexuality. Sequel to Catch #1, Platonic.

6. Chemical Delusion; angst, romance, Catches Brennan; tag to Cinderella in the Cardboard, season 4; rated T, sexuality, alcohol.

7. Beautiful Disaster; angst, romance, Catches Cam; tag to Girl with the Curl, season 2; rated T, sexuality.

8. Brotherly Love; humor, romance, Caroline herself Catches Brennan; tag to Santa in the Slush, Verdict in the Story, season 3; rated T.

9. Ten Things We Hate About You; humor, friendship, Catches intern Oliver Wells; tag to Lady on the List, season 9; rated T, language.

10. Letting Go; angst, romance, sorrow, Catches Booth; tag to Parts in the Sum of the Whole, season 5; rated T. Parallel to Catch #4, Moving On.

11. Always the Professional; angst, humor, Catches intern Clark Edison; tag to Ghost in the Killer, season 9; rated T.

12. Morality Play; humor, romance, Catches Brennan and Booth both; tag to Beaver in the Otter, season 4; rated hard T/soft M (not quite sure), sexuality.