This is the last chapter. Thank you all so much for reading and your comments. :)

Chapter 4:

Neither of them fell asleep right away when they lay in their own bed. They both stared at the ceiling of their own room, thinking about the past few days and how the events brought them even closer together than the time before already managed to do.

Ryan didn't even think about sleeping. He couldn't. The whole weekend raised so many questions inside of him that needed to be answered so that he was able to get his focus back on the case and catch Joe Carroll. The whole mess in his head started on Friday when he told Mike that he was equally important to him as Claire. The whole day he couldn't concentrate anymore. He kept on asking himself why he said that and if he really meant it while repeating it quietly over and over again. He was so distracted that Donovan sent him on his short weekend vacation early. Instead of going back to the hotel to get some rest himself like he told Mike to do, he went to the next bar.

He spent the evening drinking and thinking more about Mike than Claire, Tyson and the case. And he had to admit his earlier conclusion that seeing Mike almost die had broken him was truthful. Every time he sat on Mike's bedside in the hospital he felt his heart aching. It hurt him so much seeing Mike injured and vulnerable like this, that sometimes when Mike was out for the count he reached for his hand and held it until someone came in or he noticed that Mike was about to wake up.

Maybe it was the amount of alcohol he had that evening, but somehow it was finally clear to him. He wasn't just concerned about Mike's well being when he hold him tightly in his embrace the night of the incident while waiting for the ambulance. He was afraid of losing him so he hold on to him as much as he could, and even though Mike was unconscious for the most part. Holding him and trying to be confident for both of them, Ryan kept telling himself that somehow Mike knew that he was still there and not going anywhere and that Mike would get through this if only Ryan hold him close enough. And somehow Ryan liked to believe that his presence was the reason that Mike stayed alive that night and had a fast recovery without any complications.

Mike lay awake in bed like every day since he woke up in the hospital. But for the first time, it wasn't because he was apprehensive, he simply kept on thinking about Ryan. He meant it when he thanked him for everything and when he said he wished he could have been a bigger help for Ryan as well.

Ryan told him about the nightmares he was having involving Claire and Joe's people when they concluded the evening on Saturday in the hotel bar even though Ryan was already too sloshed to remember he ever told Mike about them. Mike smiled when he remembered Ryan's confused facial expression when he asked him if he might need him to sleep in the same room again. Nevertheless Mike was glad the nightmares weren't as bad as he thought they would when he witnessed one of them late Saturday night. Ryan's description of them was due to the alcohol at that Saturday evening quite sloppy and still there weren't as horrifying as they could have been.

Ryan moved on his side. He didn't want to think about Mike lying in the hospital anymore. Mike was right next door safe and sound and free from major panic attacks by now. For a split second he remembered how he woke up that morning, Mike lying close to his back. He tried to stop his thoughts from wandering down that road but it was too late. Ryan got memory snippets of every time they were close this weekend. When he came to their last embrace before they said good night and agreed on driving to work together in the morning earlier, he couldn't help but notice the warm tingling feeling in his stomach that got more and more intense with every memory. He liked having Mike in his arms and holding him tightly. If he was honest he liked it even more than having Claire in his arms.

Ryan closed his eyes, trying to prevent further thoughts, but his mind took over control already and he spent the time until he finally fell asleep thinking about Mike. He wished he would have lied when Mike asked him if he was fine as well, so that they would spent the night in the same room again instead of separate ones.

Just like Ryan in the other room, Mike had moved to his side as well. Even though he felt bad for not being as much of a help that he wished he could have been for Ryan, he couldn't stop smiling every time he remembered the ministrations Ryan had for him this weekend. Their bond got obviously stronger, not just because they spent a night in the same bed, but because they saw each other at one of their most vulnerable states. Even though Ryan didn't know he had one of his nightmares in front of him, Mike had more than one panic attack in front of him and Ryan always calmed him down with a simple touch and later with an embrace. Ryan's embraces were something very special and dear to Mike. They made him feel safe. Now that he thought about them and saw every single one they shared rewind in his head again, he noticed that they sent a secure and tingling feeling down his stomach as well.

He couldn't deny it anymore he liked Ryan more than he was able to say out loud just yet. But those feelings he couldn't quite put into words increased with every little moment he gained. It was when he remembered that just like Ryan's touch, his own had the power to calm Ryan down during his nightmare, that he wished he would have lied when Ryan asked him if he was sure that he didn't needed to spent another night in the same room. In this moment Mike came to terms that he wanted to be even closer to Ryan that they already were. When Mike remembered Ryan's words "You're just as important to me as Claire." he got hope that maybe, just maybe those feelings gaining inside of him weren't meant to be doomed after all. With a smile on his face he finally fell asleep.

The period of grace was completely over when Mike's alarm clock went off on Monday morning. Like he knew it would be when he decided he should try to sleep in his own room, he was capable of sleeping through the whole night without any interruptions. Mike took a shower, got dressed and packed his bag.

He was ready to go back to work. When he got out of the hospital three days ago it seemed impossible, but with Ryan's help he did it. Ryan helped him more than he could ever fully thank him for. Mike still had the feeling of being followed or in danger every now and then for a second, but for the most part of it he was able to snap out of it immediately before his mind took over. Mike looked around his room once more, to make sure he didn't forget anything, before he took his keys and left.

He closed and locked his door and knocked on Ryan's, to pick him up for work just like they agreed to last night. It took Ryan ten minutes until he walked out onto the hall, locking his room and facing his partner for a brief moment while doing so. "You're ok?" Mike nodded. He had a feeling Ryan took so long to test if he was really ready and not because he might had a rough night himself again. For that he looked to relaxed and for the first time this weekend Mike noticed that Ryan didn't have one sip of vodka besides their visit in the bar. Even now Ryan looked completely sober and he couldn't smell a tiny trace of the liquid in his breath. Mike liked to think that it was thanks to him so he answered Ryan overly happy and proud. "Yes sir!"

Ryan finally turned to him and put his hand on Mike's shoulder. "Good. Glad to have you back." Mike leaned into Ryan's touch, he wanted more than just a hand of approval now that he was aware of the impact Ryan had on him and his feelings for the man. But Ryan spun around and walked towards the exit and Mike had to accept it. Mike knew Ryan was someone that had to do things on his terms. If he had another nightmare about Claire and what happened, he would come to him to talk. If he wanted to be closer to Mike again, he would give him the signs for it as well.

Outside, Mike caught up with Ryan already standing on his side of the car. They didn't talk on their ride to the bureau. Ryan was going through the morning paper, which he picked up on his way out to the car, and Mike kept his eyes on the road, trying not to smile like a lovesick fool whenever he remembered something from the weekend that included Ryan's solicitude.

It took Mike ten minutes to find a parking spot. No matter how early he thought they were, everyone else seemed to be even earlier today and no one spared a thought about their reserved spots. When he finally parked, Mike couldn't stop himself from saying "That's better because of a surprise welcome back party instead of another huge act from Carroll." out loud. "I wouldn't count on it." Mike knew Ryan would answer this or nothing at all, so he just smiled and was happy he broke the silence between them. After all, he had his ways to get Ryan to talk to him.

When Mike was about to open his door to get out of the car, Ryan hold him on his elbow with his left hand, dragging him back towards him. "You're sure you'll be ok?" Ryan looked at Mike a little worried and was searching for anything in Mike's eyes that would weather ease or prove his worries, but Mike just cracked a smile, trying to ignore the warm feeling that was spreading from the spot where Ryan hold his arm and answered him confident. "Don't worry, I'm fine. You helped a lot over the weekend - thank you again. There is nothing that can freak me out anymore." He knew he was probably exaggerating, but he wanted to start off the day as optimistic as possible.

"You're sure about that?" Mike nodded smiling and keeping himself from saying "Unless there are dead puppies involved.". Ryan bowed his head slightly and raised his eyebrows obviously trading off if he should play along or not.

If Ryan would have been honest he couldn't stand to put up this slightly cold behavior towards Mike anymore. When he woke up this morning Ryan thought it was a good idea, to keep some distance between them. The feelings he gained for Mike confused him a little, he just didn't know what to call it yet, but when Mike leaned into his touch this morning and he looked into Mike's eyes he got the wicked thought that maybe Mike felt the same way towards him.

Mike wasn't sure how to react. Ryan kept looking at him for almost ten minutes. He knew this look on his counterpart, but Mike still couldn't figure Ryan out completely unless Ryan let him look behind the surface. When Mike thought there was nothing coming and decided he could just go out of the car now before he got lost in his thoughts while staring in Ryan's eyes that were clearly debating something in his head, Ryan's right hand reached for his neck and after Ryan's thumb lightly brushed over Mike's cheek, he pulled him into a kiss. Knowing exactly what it was he was feeling for Mike the second their lips touched.

Mike was surprised at first, but while he started kissing him back he felt more and more overwhelmed and simply over the moon. After all this wasn't just someone, that was Ryan kissing him. The person he would have died for. The person he came aware of having feelings for that he couldn't quite put a name on until now. It was a gentle kiss and it sent sparks through Mike's body and like everything amazing that made Mike extremely happy it ended too soon.

"Ok then, let's go to work and hope for no dead puppies today!" And with that, a knowing wink that there will always be that one thing that will Mike freak out no matter what, and a gentle slap of the hand on Mike's cheek, Ryan left smiling the car and walked towards the entrance. Leaving his lovesick smiling partner behind in the car and knowing that he showed him more than perfectly that his heart didn't plan on letting Mike go any time soon if ever again.