Intro: Hey everyone! I'm so excited to finally share something with all you guys. This is my first fanfiction attempt and since English is not my native language, I'm looking for all feedback I can get to improve.

The story starts at the end of "The Lives of Others", episode nineteen of Castle season 5. So expect some spoilers.

The reason for this story lays in the fact that I disagree with some of the story decisions made in this episode.

I hope you guys enjoy reading it as much as I had writing it.

Thomatshu

p.s.: Depending on the response I get from you guys this can end as a one page story or a continued one :)

EDIT:

I decided to leave it as a one shot. I would like to thank everyone that read this story and/or left a review.

I also corrected some language and spelling/grammar mistakes to enhance the reading experience.

"Beckett, where are you?" Castle yelled, storming into the darkened room, his eyes still adjusting. For five seconds, probably the five longest seconds in his life, he could see nothing.

"Surprise!" a group of people yelled with the lights going on. Shocked as he was Castle looked around. He had expected to storm inside and find a murder scene, expecting to see Kate Beckett lying on the ground covered in blood. Her blood, pouring from several stab wounds. Instead he found most of his best and closest friends standing there, in the room that was suddenly decorated with a banner and black and white balloons. He saw Lanie and a bunch of people from the precinct. Ryan and Esposito were standing behind him. But most importantly in the middle were his mother and daughter and… Kate. As healthy looking as she could be.

"Happy Birthday!" Kate cheered, grabbing a glass of champagne.

Still shocked Castle scanned the room again. He looked to his right and saw there, standing next to each other like they were the best of friends, the guy who he thought to be the killer and the guy sleeping with the killer's wife. The killer handed the other guy his hat, which he took nodding at Castle. Left of them the wife walked in from the bedroom with a nervous smile. Her entrance being applauded by the crowd. He looked back at the love of his life. Locking onto her eyes.

"It was all fake?" was the only thing he could mumble. The crowd fell silent, standing there gaping at his still shocked expression.

"Nothing was real? You…" He paused for a second gathering his thought, trying to suppress his growing anger.

"You let me think I was crazy?" He questioned her.

"You let me think you were going to die!" He accused Beckett with a rising temper, his voice much louder.

Kate's expression was one of shock and disbelieve. The headstrong, hardened detective, standing there at a loss off words. If the situation was not so severe, Castle would have broken down into a laughter at this rare sight. But laughter was the last thing on his mind right now.

"But Castle you were so… so bored over the past couple of weeks …" She murmured. "Stuck at home with no case to solve and I saw this apartment was for rent and I… And I thought that... I uhm" Kate desperately tried to explain. She looked like she never expected Castle to react like this.

Martha, coming to her senses, tried to intervene.

"Richard…" she tried to support Beckett and get Castle's attention off of her.

"No." Castle interrupted her with a voice much hoarser than normal.

"No. This is … this is not okay." he tried to bring his thoughts into words. But he couldn't.

"And you guys helped her with this?" looking intensively to his mother and daughter. Then turning to look at Ryan and Esposito.

The room was quiet as the night, fearing the bomb named Richard Castle would explode.

He turned around again. Seeing the start of tears forming in Alexis' eyes. He had things to say. But not here. Not in front of all these people.

"Kate…talk…outside…now!" was all he could bring himself to say, before leaving through the kicked down door, supporting on his crutches. He paused for a moment to say "You guys can start the drinks already."

Never in their relationship had she seen him so angry before. No, anger was not the only thing. She could deal with anger. It was the disappointment that had torn her apart. Disappointment burning in his eyes when he looked at her, his glance cutting itself straight to her heart. She hoped she would never see that look again. Not at her, not towards anyone else. Kate knew she messed up. She just didn't know how bad and how to fix it. She never foresaw this outcome when she came up with the plan. The plan to keep him busy, to cheer him up. Sure, she had thought about the possibility of Castle not liking the fact that they had lied to him. But she had thought everything would be forgiven as soon as he knew the reason. She looked at Martha and Alexis for support but it seemed Alexis could use some of her own. Martha, while still looking uneasy, responded to her look.

"I think you better go talk to Richard, Darling. I'm sure everything will work out."

Deciding it was best to not let Castle wait any longer than necessary Kate went outside looking for him. She found him standing in the hallway. Not that far from the door, clearly discomforted by his leg, but far enough to not be overheard when they spoke. Nervously she went closer. She couldn't meet his eyes. The great Kate Beckett who went toe to toe with the biggest mobsters in the city, who was feared by the most hardened criminals, who had the highest murder solving rate of the city, she could not meet the writer's eyes.

Trying to break the uneasy silence she decided to speak up. "Rick, I'm sorry if this was not what you expected for your birthday. I…"

"You think this is about me being disappointed about my birthday party?" Castle interrupted.

"Kate, Kate, Kate" He sighed. "In what universe would you think it is ever okay to fake your own death?"

"No let me finish!" He yelled when she tried to interrupt him. "You know how much I love you. You know what it would do to me if I ever lost you. Seeing you die one time wasn't enough? Instead you had me believe I lost you again tonight!"

Tears started to form in both their eyes. Now Kate knew what she had done and she hated herself for it. How long ago was it now? Around two years? Since she and Rick had started their relationship she hadn't thought about that day anymore, except in the cases involving Maddox and senator Bracken. The day she almost lost her life. Technically she had lost her life in that ambulance but they had succeeded in bringing her back. Now she understood why Castle reacted the way he did. Now she knew how it must have looked like. Her being grabbed by a killer that he had seen murdering someone. That killer taking a knife. The lights going out. She couldn't believe that she had been that stupid and ignorant for his feelings. The things that boiled up in him when he saw the scene. Going back to that very dark place in his memories. She was not the only one who had suffered from that event.

"If you would have died because you wanted to prove something to me, I would never ever have forgiven myself. And even if you had survived I was afraid that I would have lost you like last time." He whispered.

Kate wanted desperately to make things right. She loved this man so much. Never before she had felt that kind and level of love before.

"Rick" She whispered to him. "I'm so, so sorry. I should have thought about all that and have known better. I should have known how this would have impacted you, how it would have made you feel." she told him finally able to look him into the eyes, trying to swallow the tears that were falling down her cheeks.

"I didn't think about all of that because I finally put that part of my life behind me. I found someone who helped and helps me deal and forget and cope. Someone who made me look to the future instead of the past." Kate told Castle, hoping he knew she meant him.

"I love you, Rick. And know that I will never leave you again. The walls that caused that last time have been completely broken down since you and I started 'Us'. And the walls will never return. I only hope you can forgive me for what happened tonight, for what I did tonight." She looked at him. Hey tears filled eyes begging.

Castle brought his hand to her cheek, cupping it while he used his thumb to wipe away some of the tears that were still rolling down.

"Just promise me you will never again use the death of someone I love for something like this." He whispered, bringing their bodies closer, his stare softening to a gentle and loving glance.

"I can do that." Kate replied, finally able to stop the tears, still looking in his eyes.

"Okay, cause I may not have a gun but you really don't have a choice." he smiled towards her.

She smiled at him, remembering the reference he was making to the conversation earlier in their relationship were the roles had been the other way around but in a complete different situation.

"Clearly I don't have a choice." was all Beckett could bring out before Castle came in for a kiss. It was not a rough we-just-had-a-fight-but-we-cleared-things-up kiss. It was a soft kiss full of love and passion. In that moment Kate knew he had completely forgiven her.

She sometimes wondered why she deserved a man like him. Kind, smart, the ability to make her laugh every day, understanding, a perfect father for his daughter, a perfect son for his mother, talented in more ways than she could think off and on top of that handsome and , let's be honest, rich. But she wouldn't question the gift she had received from the universe and she knew there was no one in the entire world she would rather be with for the rest of her life.

They finally broke apart. "I think it's time to go back to the party. After all you planned it for a long time and it is still my birthday." Castle told her with a smile. He took her hand after he wiped away the remaining of her earlier tears and they went back to the apartment.

Alexis stood nervously looking at the door. Her dad and Kate were gone for a while know. Silently she was wishing everything would be okay. Growing up her dad had always been very understanding of what she did and it was very rare for him to get angry. That disappointed look he had given to them when looking around was something she had never seen before. She knew that her father was a good man and that whatever reason that made him act like this was probably well founded. She just hoped that whatever it was they could fix it so that everything would be fine between them and between him and detective Beckett. She really liked Beckett. Her dad was great and she could ask him for advice on anything but it was comforting to know she could go somewhere for a female perspective closer to her age than her grandmother if she ever needed it. She was like a mother she never really had. She looked at her watch and back at the door. Two minutes later they came in. They were holding hands and the way they looked at each other, Alexis knew everything was going to be okay.

After they entered Castle drag Beckett to the table in the middle, taking up two glasses of champagne. He handed her one and tapped his own, making a lucid sound to gather everyone's attention.

"I would like to thank each and every one of you for being here tonight. Although unexpected, there is no crowd in the world I would rather have here by my side to share my birthday with. Now you all waited long enough. Let's have some cake." he smiled, receiving applause. After cutting the cake he dragged Beckett closer and gave her a long kiss before whispering in her ear "I'll be right back".

He started to make his way towards his mother and daughter but before he could reach them he was intercepted by his two colleagues.

"Jo, Castle" Esposito called. "Look man, we're sorry for earlier tonight."

"Yeah, if we had known you would take it so hard, we would have talked her out of it." Ryan added.

"Look, guys, no hard feelings. I talked to her and we worked things out. But please promise me, like her, to never fake the death of someone of our family again. That includes you guys." Castle answered, pointing at them.

"You got it, Bro." Esposito said and they all sealed the deal with some bro-fists.

After the required 'Happy Birthday' and 'Thank you' he finally made his way to his red-heads. Before he could say anything Alexis started rambling.

"Dad, I'm so sorry about what happened. We should never have lied to you. I feel so guilty I was part of this."

"Hey, pumpkin. Come here." Castle said and he pulled her in for a hug. "I'm not angry at you. I'm sorry for reacting that way. I was just shocked by what happened. I lost Kate almost once already so when I saw what happened I kind of lost it. But we worked things out. Everything is good between all of us, so don't you worry." Before letting go of his little girl, Castle pressed a kiss on her forehead.
"The same counts for you, mother." He gave her a hug as well.

Meanwhile Kate had come over with the bottle of champagne to refill their glasses. When she put the bottle down, Castle pulled her by his side laying an arm around her waist. Beckett responded by resting her head on his shoulder.

That moment Castle felt like the happiest man alive. Sure the night had started rocky. But here he was, on his birthday, surrounded by his family and his friends. And most importantly the love of his life, the love he waited four years for, resting in his arms.

Castle truly felt like the happiest man alive.

And here we are. I want to thank everyone who made it this far :)
If you have feedback on the story or how to improve my writing in general, please let me know.
Thomatshu