Three weeks later...

" Alex? Can we talk, please?" Nikita asked and walked towards Alex.

"Sure." Alex said and slipped down to the wall behind her. Nikita followed her example.

"What do you want to talk about? " Alex asked worried. The last weeks Nikita avoided Alex and Alex didn't want to push her.

"I am sorry, Alex. I am really sorry for letting Amanda to get inside my head" Nikita apologized honestly.

"It's ok.'' Alex replied calmly.

"No. It isn't ok." Nikita said " I have hurt you so many times and you still are by my side. I don't deserve you. You gave your life to save me and I gave up on you in a couple of hours. It's not ok." Nikita cried.

" Nikita. I understand. This is what Amanda is good at. Don't worry. Yes, you have hurt me many times and I have done so, too. You are family, Nikita. I don't care if you think that you deserve me or not. I am the one who don't deserve any of you. No matter what, you are my family and you are stuck with me for an eternity, you like it or not." Alex said.

" Alex, no. I don't deserve your forgiveness. How can you just forget everything that I have done to you and always be here?" Nikita asked.

" There is nothing that you have done to me, Nikita, than helping me" Alex said softly.

" Helping you? I have killed your papa in front of you, I trusted the wrong person and you were sold in the black market because of that, I have lied to you, I have betrayed your trust, I have broken your arm, I have shot you in the leg, I put you inside Division, I fed you to Amanda, I didn't notice when you relapsed, you took a bullet for me and I wasn't there when you needed the most, I have given up on you, I let you die" Nikita whispered sadly.

" So many? Oh!" Alex said sarcastically.

" Alex, I am serious" Nikita said seriously.

" Fine. Stop beating yourself up. I wasn't a sex slave because of you, I didn't enter Division because of you but I survived thanks to you, you did lie to me, break my hand and shoot me. You did betray my trust but you never betrayed my love, you didn't have to notice that I relapsed, it was my fault. But even if I blamed you for all of this, I have forgiven you, Nikita, for everything, for killing my father, for lying to me, for shooting me. You have to forgive yourself, Nikita. You have to start healing your soul" Alex said softly and squeezed Nikita's hand.

" You should have hated me!" Nikita said angrily and took her hand away from Alex.

" Do you want me to hate you?" Alex asked seriously and stared at Nikita's eyes.

" Yes" Nikita whispered and looked away.

" Look at me and tell me that you want me to hate you" Alex ordered.

" Alex.." Nikita started and looked at Alex.

" No. Look at me and tell me that you want me to hate you, Nikita. Now" Alex repeated seriously.

" I want you to hate me. You should have hated me" Nikita said firmly and looked at Alex, letting some tears to fall.

" You want me to hate you because that will make the things easier for you. If I hate you, you can continue hating yourself" Alex replied seriously.

" I have evil inside me Alex. I am a monster. I don't deserve your love" Nikita replied calmly.

" You are not a monster" Alex said firmly.

" I killed your father in front of you, I lied to you, I shot you. You are the one who can recognise me for what I truly am" Nikita exclaimed.

" Nikita. You aren't a monster. We all have evil inside us. It is in our human nature, but you control it and you don't let it to beat you. You are kind and caring and sweet and I recongise you as the best and strongest person than I have ever met. I can't hate you, Nikita. I am sorry. But I can. I love you so much, always and forever, no matter what. Please forgive yourself. I love you" Alex said softly.

" I love you, Alex. I love you too much." Nikita said.

" Can I ask you something? In your letter you wrote that you were sorry, for what, Alex?" Nikita asked

" I didn't know what I should write to you. You have spent so many time trying to protect me and Amanda got me alive? I could comfort Sean and Michael and Birkoff. Sean has our daughter, Michael has you, Birkoff has Sonya. But you are a special situation. You have all of us and none at the same time. You are here when we need you but it's difficult to you to come to us when you need help and if anyone of us get himself in trouble you are blind. None can't get you or reason you so I was sorry for harming you. I know you too well, Nikita" Alex said and smiled.

" You can get me." Nikita said softly.

" but I wasn't here, remember, you were worried about me and I was really worry about you" Alex said " You see, I love you, Sensei"

" What do you mean when you said that it's not over?" Nikita asked slowly and noticed Alex's face become darker.

" Interrogation?" Alex said and laughed.

" Alex, I am just worried" Nikita replied.

" It's not over, Nikita. Amanda was a target, a really hard, the one that destroyed your life. Unfortunately, my life was destroyed a long time before I met Amanda and these ghosts of my past have returned. The last gift from Amanda. She did something, I don't know what, but the memories of everything are haunting me. She also informed my ex-employers that their little bitch is still alive and they want to make me an example that none can escape this life. The ghosts of my past are back to haunt me again and take me down. They aren't going to stop, Nikita and I-I... don't know if I can get through this. I don't know if I am strong enough to fight my memories, my guilt, my regrets. To fight my past without losing myself once again. I am scared, Nikita." Alex said and looked away from Nikita.

"No matter what is coming, Alex, we are going to face it together, like a family. I will be by your side till death do us apart, baby girl" Nikita said and hugged Alex.

"We are family!" Alex whispered and let herself relax into Nikita's hug.

End...

I would like to thank you all for supporting my first try to write a fanfiction. I am really glad that you liked my story and thanks for all of your reviews and comments, they helped me a lot and encouraged me to continue. See you soon with more stories... :*