So, this is pretty much the first thing I've ever wrote in English and it's, at the same time, my first Finchel fanfic.
I took this idea from my favourite book "A sing for Summer" by Eva Ibbotson, so it's not quite original.
This is, actually, a one-shot that got a little out of hand, I hope you like it!

It's been a long time. She doesn't feel anything anymore.

He's out of her mind, out of her life and out of her heart since that bitter day all those years ago.
So, yes, it's been a long time and his kisses on her neck don't hurt anymore, she doesn't miss his big hands and his dimples, not at all. She forgot his smell and she can't even remember the last thing he ever said to her anymore.
Time came and healed everything and she grew to love again, to love another one.

But that's a big fucking lie, isn't it?
Of course it is. Time could never heal this sort of pain.
So, everything it's fine, there's nothing going on, it's just a headache, or at least that's what she replies every time she gets asked the same old: "Are you ok?".
She looks across the room and she finds her husband's green eyes staring at her. He smiles brightly, raising his eyebrows, something he does only when he's staring at her. And she feels safe under his gaze. She's so used to it. I mean, it's been 5 years already, 3 of which they've been husband and wife, so, why shouldn't she be aloud to love him? Is not like she's cheating, she's not betraying anyone. She feels like a cheater sometimes, though, like a liar, like, somehow, she doesn't belong here.
And she knows why, of course, but faking it's easier.
"Sadness is easier because it's surrender" She thinks sometimes.
No, Rachel Berry was determined to be happy, she decided to never surrender. Never.
So she smiles back at him. She knows he knows about the phone call she got the night before. He was very supportive about it, held her in his arms when she cried, like a proper husband should, and then he told her that if she needed him, he'd go with her, that he'd go with her to the end of the world, that he loves her. She told him that she needed to do this alone, though, and he said that it was okay, but that he'll miss her, then she said something like "It's only a couple of days" and he hugged and kissed her like there was no tomorrow.

They've been trough a lot during the years, that's why they became such a strong couple. When she met him, he had this huge secret he never told anyone about, but after 9 months of dating, he told her about it. Because of that he had to receive the most painful slap in the face in the history of painful slaps and then, the Silence treatment, because, after knowing the truth, Rachel cried for hours in her room and decided not to talk to him ever again, even though she knew it wasn't gonna be easy, they saw each other everyday at NYADA after all.
Yes, you guessed right.
Brody Weston was not the kind of guy that gives up a girl that easy, though, or maybe he was... before Rachel; But she was different, you know?, she was the one.
He found a different job and beat the crap out of himself to be a great student, a good employee and to to still have a little bit of extra cash to buy apology-flowers to Rachel every-single-day.
After 3 months of Rachel not talking to him, he took her hand at the end of class and, without a question, took her to the train station that was in front of the building. Once they were there, he looked at her into the eyes and put a little black thing on her hand. It was his pager.
"Brody, What are we doing here?! Are you gonna—"
"It's not my job anymore. I quit three months ago... because of you." He said with all honesty "I'm never, ever, gonna lie to you again, Rachel, just let me prove it to you!" His eyes were teary and so were hers, there was something about this guy that made her feel things she thought she'd never feel again. It was the first time she felt like she was cheating. "This thing has been off for a long time and I want you to just throw it in front of the train so we don't have to live with this anymore." Rachel was silent, tears wildly falling from her eyes. "Say something, Rach, please, say something!"
"You do realize that I can just step on it right?, it would have been easier than dragging me here" She said with a grin
"It would, but the train thing is be more dramatic, don't you think?. And we're Broadway style after all."

The train came and destroy the little thing; By the time it was gone, some people began to wonder the story behind the tender couple that was kissing on the middle of the station.

The phone buzzed twice before she could answer it.
"Hello?"
"So, Broadway..." There's only one person in the world that called Rachel like that: Santana, and she usually meant bad news. "There's no easy way to say this so I'll just go ahead and say it, okay?. Uhm, Mr. Shue died" They both stayed quiet for a second. Rachel's jaw fell open as her mind began to work as fast as possible. Not a single word came out of her mouth. "He had a heart attack yesterday in the choir room after class. He was found a few minutes later but... it was too late. It's weird because he was so healthy but, you know, this things happen and Mrs. Pillsbury... uhm, Schuester, whatever, told us that he had a weird chest pain in the last few days but that no body thought..." She stopped her self and took a deep breath to proceed "Just come, okay, Berry?. We're all gonna be here and tomorrow's the funeral. It would mean a lot to Mrs. Ginger if you could come."

It took Rachel a few seconds to gather the air to finally talk, but Santana waited. When she finally did, it was almost just a whisper.
"I'll be there, Santana. I just..." She was holding back her tears. "Can I, uhm... Call you back? I'll call you back in 10 minutes... just, yeah." Brody came into the room when he noticed the serious tone in his wife's voice. He took a few steps closer and sat right next to her; he knew that tone.
"It's okay, I'll be waiting for your call, Berry. 10 minutes. Bye." Santana said before she hang up.

For a moment Rachel asked herself whether to believe what just happened or not. It was Santana, after all. Okay, yes, it's was Santana but she'd never lie about something like this, would she?. No, no, she wouldn't, it had to be true.
"He... died" She said with a broken voice.
Something felt really bad about this. She and Mr. Shue had talked just a few weeks ago, she felt like calling him to tell him about how she was living the dream, she was playing Maria again in this big Broadway production and it all made her go back to those High School years. And when she told him, he sounded so proud of her he could jump around, but, at the same time, it was like he never doubted that this moment would come.
And now she had to believe he was gone? A heart attack and everything can just disappear?
"Rachel?... Rachel, come on, who died? You're scaring me, babe... Rachel!" Brody said getting nervous.
"Mr. Shue, my... uhm, my High School teacher." She said on her way to the bathroom, Brody followed her "The one I was talking to just last week, Brody, the one that said he was proud of me and..." She couldn't stop the tears
"Come here" He said as he hugged her strongly.
"I don't understand!"
"It's gonna be okay, babe, it'll be okay."
But she kept crying in his shoulder for a while.

Brody left her at the airport with the promise of being in touch, calling in case of emergency and a deep kiss; but there was something else in his face, something Rachel couldn't read like she always did.

"We promised each other full honesty, Brody, tell me what is it. You don't want me to go?" She said a little bit nervous about the answer.
"Maybe?... I just... I have this feeling..." He said slowly "It's this good-bye feeling like I—" He became silent all of the sudden "I don't know, maybe I'm just scared that something will happen to you and I'm not gonna be there to protect you, you know? with this whole 'death' thing I might be just a little paranoid." But he still looked confused "Or maybe I just need to pee, so yeah, don't take this too seriously."
"Brody, be serious!" She said as they laughed
"I just love you, Rachel and... don't forget about me when you're back in your home town, okay?"
"Hey! What's with all the drama? Save it for your 'Tony' speech." She said while hugging him "I'm gonna come back to you so soon you're not even gonna notice, okay? But I have to go now. Bye, husband. I'll call you!"
"I'll be waiting!" He said with a big smile. A smile that slowly started to vanish to make room to the same face he was making before.

She kept the promise of calling him when she got out of the airport and Brody seemed really released to hear her voice, like he was truly concern that she was gonna die on that plane or something. They agreed that she would call him after the funeral.
Rachel, as always, was well received in her house, her dads were really happy to see her even considering the circumstances. It was a nice reunion, she had a lovely meal with them and talked until she got a call from Santana. She was waiting outside.
Lima was very cold in this time of the year, so she took her coat and made it to the front door.
She was shocked of how much she actually missed Santana Lopez and all of her brutal honesty, her smile seemed different, it was not the ironic and "ready to say something" smile she always wore. And Rachel noticed that Brittany was there too, holding Santana's hand.
"This must be the most hot lesbian coupe I've ever met" Rachel said in a very low voice while she was greeting Brit.
"I heard you, and of course we are" Santana said meeting Brit's gaze
"Did you shrink?" Brittany said, of course.
"We should get going!." Rachel screamed trying hard not to get offended.
The was a lot of gossip and catching up in the car ride to the graveyard. Years went by and so many things have been going on in everyone's lives.
Puck and Quinn were married with two kids and living in New York. Kurt and Blaine were on their honey moon in England (Yes, after like, 10 years of relationship they finally got married). Tina and Mike had opened their own dance academy and they had a little daughter called Mia; and Mercedes was very successful in the industry with two released albums and one Emmy nomination. So yeah, there was a lot of gossip for them to talk about... as they kept avoiding certain someone. Rachel knew the silence about the subject wouldn't last long but she was trying to enjoy it while it lasted.

The truth is, she was panicking. Since the moment she heard the voice in the plane saying they were arriving to Lima, Ohio, she started panicking. She felt wanted to run away back to Brody's arms. Yes, Brody was a safe place for her hormones, she never felt nervous around him and never felt like there was not enough air in the world. Her heart was playing basketball inside her chest and she was making a big effort to control it without letting it show.

When they got out of the car, all of the sudden Santana told Brittany to go ahead. Rachel knew what was coming and she was trying to keep it cool, to not overthink the subject. Santana wasn't helping with it, though.
She took a deep breath and, wearing her best smile, tried to resist the attack without losing her dignity or heart on the way.
"I'll be waiting for you both, don't be late!" Brittany said and she went away, leaving the brunettes alone.
"Okay, little thing. You know he's coming, right?" There was no fooling around with this girl.
"W-who's coming?" Rachel answered trying to sound convincing
"And you make a living out of acting? You know who, ex Frankenteen, the love of your damn life!"
"I'm happily married, Santana, I don't know what you're talking about." She was staring at the ground
"You know exactly what I'm talking about and don't play fool with me Because I'm smelling your hormones and you fear from here. That 'marriage' is a big fat lie and you know it. Why do you keep lying to yourself? You know-"
"Okay, okay, that's enough!" Rachel screamed with tears in her eyes "Stop talking about me like you know everything! You think you know what I feel?" She was already crying "Finn left me..." Just saying his name made her feel a whole roller coaster in her stomach "...and he fucking killed me."
"Rachel, I—"
"Brody came to my life and he's everything I need, so don't you dare coming here and telling me my life it's a lie!"
"But you don't love him, Broadway, we all know you don't." Santana said softly. Rachel was breathing hard but looking straight to the Latina's eyes
"That's because I can't feel love anymore." And with that, she began walking towards the graveyard. Santana was shocked, she couldn't believe what she just heard.

He wasn't there, though, and she was very released that he wasn't. She kept telling her self that that was the way things must be.
Mrs. Emma looked so old and tiny when Rachel saw her for the first time in years; her eyes were red and swollen and she looked so broken that Rachel almost felt like she was staring at herself 8 years ago. They hugged and cried in each other shoulders loudly.
The funeral started and some of the new members of Glee sang a song that she knew by heart: Don't stop believing. That song was Mr. Shue's most important message and legacy, Rachel thought, and she was right, it's was passed through the generations.
The song became stronger when all of the ex members joined to the chorus. Beautiful.
For a moment Rachel felt almost peaceful and safe under everyone's voices, just like she used to feel back at the time when everything was easier. She felt Mr. Shue's smiling gaze on them and she knew in her heart he was on a better place, a place beyond their understanding.
As they were singing, the coffin started to go down painfully. And, a few minutes later, it was all over, just like that.
Rachel came back to herself eventually and felt the weight of the years again. She noticed that Santana was staring at her, but she only raise her shoulders. She was so released he wasn't there, it made everything easier to handle.
Everyone started leaving to Santana's place; there was gonna be a meeting after the funeral, a little something to make the sadness and pain go away; only old Glee members could go, so Rachel was pretty sure that there was no way in hell she could scape it, not under Santana's watch. But there was something she needed to do first.
After explaining it to Santana, she began walking slowly in the opposite direction. She knew where the grave was, but she was scared of all the feelings that it could bring, feelings she had buried deep down.
She needed to do it, though, so she just kept following her feet and trying not to think at all.
She was now close to the willow tree, the grave she was looking for was on the other side of it.
She stared at the tree for a moment, took a deep breath and began walking to the other side of it. Everything was just fine until that moment.

Okay, so it's a little bit basic, but then again, I'm not an english speaker, so don't be too rough on me. I have a lack of vocabulary, I know! :B
So yeah, please coment, I need to know what you think :/
Have a nice day! bye!