Oh, the pressures of alcohol consumption: plaguing those who find contentment in its menacing fixtures, and corrupting the adolescent status quo with every Bud Weiser and Coors Light that is guzzled. Though many teenagers fall to the temptation of this mind-numbing beverage, others- such as the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles themselves- find nary an interest in a revolting practice such as drinking. However, just as Lucifer fell from the Heavens long ago, there comes a time when one might find temptation in hanging up their halo for a change. One might enjoy taking some time to try on a set of horns, and quench their thirst by sipping from the Cup of Danger...

Fetching their cereal from the cupboards in their untidy kitchen, the Heroes in a Half Shell fixed themselves an average Wednesday morning breakfast: Corn Flakes for Donatello, Cheerios for Leonardo, Apple Jacks for Michelangelo, and...

"Hmph," Michelangelo crunched as he pointed over to the empty seat next to Donatello, "Whrf'z Rff'il?"

"Good point, Mikey," Donatello said fighting a yawn as he poured his morning coffee into his 'I Heart Science' mug, "Raph's usually up by this time."

"Yeah," Leonardo huffed while fishing through the refrigerator trying to find the milk, "Scarfing down his Frosted Flakes, feeding Spike-"

"You know he talks to that thing when nobody's lookin', right," Mikey interrupted with a giggle, "A-and then he tries to pretend like nothin' happened when you call him out on it!"

Chuckling simultaneously, the three turtles all sat around the breakfast nook discussing the odd habits their hot-tempered brother practiced. Just as they all started cracking up at Michelangelo's impression of Raphael screaming in fear of cockroaches, a loud grumble stirred the entire kitchen.

Looking up abruptly, Leo, Don, and Mikey found a very slumpy Raphael shuffling his way over to the table the boys were sitting at and crashed his head against the table as he took his seat. Now- believe it or not, this wasn't all that surprising to the brothers: they knew Raphael was no Morning Glory! However, the thing that shocked them the most was when their tired-looking brother picked up his heavy head to reveal a pair of thick shaded sunglasses covering his eyes. A bit alarmed, Mikey quirked his head over at Donnie, and Donnie then quirked his head to Leo. Leo, of course, only stared.

"You know," Leo muffled clearing his throat before he continued, "That's, uh, an interesting style you got going there, Raphael."

"I kinda like it," Mikey perked up enthusiastically.

"Mikey," Donnie hushed as he shook his head lending Mikey the message that now was not the best time.

" 'm glad somebody appreciates it," Raphael scoffed before groaning, "Oo, my head."

"Everything okay," Leo muttered hesitantly.

"Fine," Raphael whispered, "Just a migraine, 's all."

Leo, however, always knew when Raphael was lying; and from the ten-point scale that was marked on his intracranial Fib-O-Meter, the sirens were ringing up an even thirteen. As Leonardo raised a doubting eyebrow, Raph frowned as he knew that his eldest brother was buying the 'migraine-bit' for a minute.

"Nice try," Leo scoffed as he neared his red clad brother, "Now, c'mon- take those off and let's talk about it-"

"There's nothin' to talk about, Doctor Phil," Raph slurred as he rose from his seat, "I'm leavin' these on, okay?"

"No- not 'okay'," Leo huffed as he confronted his brother testily, "I don't see what the big deal is here, Raph! I just wanna know: what's the prob-"

As Leonardo stopped short- now standing face-to-face with his brother- he noticed an unfamiliar, displeasing smell penetrate his snout. As the stench twinged his nostrils, Leo was brought back to a mind-stained memory that Master Splinter implanted into their brains long ago. Only about eight years of age, Leo and his brothers sat idly by as their sensei held a mysterious brown, clear bottle in his clawed hands. He said many called it 'Alcohol.' Splinter warned his young ones of the dangers that were inside its contents, and that if they ever found one on their sewer journeys to never- ever pick it up. He then passed the bottle to each turtle for them to smell so they would know how to identify the foul substance; and just as Leonardo choked at its aroma then, he hacked at it now...

Coughing sporadically for only a short moment, Leo stopped; and once he stopped, his crystal blue eyes grew so wide with fury, it looked like they were to pop from their sockets at any moment. Donnie and Mikey just stared as their eldest brother's cheeks grew just as red as Raphael's mask. And with a booming voice- a voice Leonardo never knew he even possessed- he bellowed, in a low oppressive tone,

"TAKE. THEM. OFF... NOW."

Sighing with exasperation, Raphael removed the sunglasses from his round face to reveal two completely blood shot eyes. Gasping out loud, Donnie and Mikey could only think to look at Leonardo. This, obviously, was a bad idea.

"SI'DOWN," Leo shouted as he pointed to a chair for the red-eyed brother to plop shamefully.

Without delay, Raphael took his seat as he looked up at his big brother with his scared, blood-shot eyes wide. He sat in silence for only a minute, as Leonardo needed a moment to compose the thoughts that were buzzing around his head like angry hornets. With his entire shaking uncontrollably with anger, all Leo could manage to say in that first minute was, "Hrrrst! Mrg-brrrafff... Uuuuurrrr! Srrr-strrrrpddd..." Raph didn't quite know it yet, but this minute of silence was the only moment of peace he would have that entire day. All volcanoes must erupt, but not Leonardo... he just exploded.

"WHAT THE SHELL WERE YOU THINKING!?"

Just as Raphael was about to answer, Leo cried, "Oh, that's right... YOU WEREN'T THINKING!BEER, RAPHAEL?! Couldn't have been a SODA, oh no! It had- to be- BEER! D-D-DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH DANGER YOU PUT YOURSELF IN LAST NIGHT!? I mean, c'mon, Raphael- I thought even YOU had more brains then that! But apparantly I. WAS. WRONG! DEAD wrong to think-"

Squinting his eyes as a sharp pain pounded through his head, Raphael endured the lecture among lectures Leo was dishing out. Hungover and miserable, all Raph could do was take it. Too sick to get up and walk away: too sick to move, as a matter of fact: Raphael just sat there, wishing for the sweet moment when Leo would be done screaming in his face and he would reunite with his bed. Oh, the screaming: being hungover makes it ten-times louder than it actually is!

"-Stupid, STUPID, stupid! COMPLETELY irresponsible, Raphael! Irresponsible, dishonerable... Did I mention 'irresponsible?!' Because what YOU did was beyond-"

'Ugh, shuddup already,' Raph thought as Leonardo continued to yell, 'I-I know it was stupid, yeesh! I'll never drink again, that's for-'

"Raph...RAPH!"

"W-what," Raph hummed as he blinked his half-shut eyes with his brothers towering over him.

"Didn't you hear me," Donnie asked with a furrowed brow, "I said, 'How many beers did you drink?'"

"W-well," Raphael responded hesitantly, "I had, er... six."

With audible gasps, Donnie and Mikey took two Shredder-sized steps back... but not Leonardo.

"'Six'," Leo exclaimed as he got even closer to Raphael, "W-where did you even get that stuff, anyway?!"/b

"L-look," Raphael hushed as he rose slightly in this chair, "I can explain-"

"Did I say you could get up?!"

"N-no, but-"

"THEN SIT YOUR SHELL BACK DOWN," Leonardo bellowed in a register that was even too low for the Shredder.

Without hesitation, Raphael plopped back down in his seat like a kindergartener who was called to the principal's office. Never had he seen Leo this mad before. With veins popping out from the side of his head, Leonardo shook uncontrollably with fury as he spoke through clenched teeth at his hung-over brother.

"Whrrre...drd'ju grt thrrm," Leo hissed.

"O-okay," Raphael began, "S-so y'know how I stayed out a little later once our patrol ended last night? Well, I, erm... I was Downtown-"

"YOU WERE WHERE," Leo fumed as he slammed his fist on the table.

Ever since they were young turtle-tots, Master Splinter forbade that the Turtles should ever go Downtown. Even as they got older, their rodent sensei still held caution of it: granting a rule that no brother shall go Downtown alone. If it were only two of the four ninja comrades, that would suffice for the old rat... but never alone...

"Keep going Raph," Donnie insisted as he shot Leo a look as if to say, 'Hey-calm down.'
"Alright," Raph continued, clearing his throat, "So, I was looking down from this old building, and I saw these guys: they looked like they were a little older'n us. Anyways, they were at this bus stop wobbling all over each other. I figured they were pretty drunk. And when the bus came to pick them up... Did you know buses ran that late?"

"KEEP. GOING," Leo dictated as he steered Raph- who was pointlessly trying to change the subject- back on track, "When the bus came to pick them up..."

"They, uh," Raphael tiredly started again, "They left a six pack of Bud Light on the bus stop bench. And i-it was pretty late: the whole town was deserted! So...I, er... I swooped down, grabbed the pack, and-"

Raph stopped short. His heart hurt- he just couldn't finish the sentence. Leonardo, of course, wasn't going to let him off that easily.

"THEN what," Leo shouted with his straight teeth snarling, "What did you do?!"

With a gulp, Raphael spat it out nearly faster than his mouth would let him.

"ThenItookthesixpackuptotheroof,andguzzleditdownbe foreanybodycouldseeme," Raph twittered as he took a quick catch breath to continue, "Then,Iwentstraighthomearoundthreeinthemorning-COM PLETELYdrunk-andnow...I'm hung-over."

Looking at each other in shock, Don, Leo, and Mikey were just speechless. Not for long, however...

"DUDE," Mikey began with his voice cracking in disbelief, "Have you gone completely bonkers?! You could've...You could've-"

"You could've died," Donnie chimed in turning to Raphael, "You're lucky, Raphael- incredibly lucky. Drinking that much alcohol at your age at such an alarming rate at that late hour, and actually living to tell the tale... Well, let's just say it's a scientific miracle that you're even alive-"

"Not once I'm through with him," Leo interrupted angrily as he geared up for another angry lecture.

"How could you do this, Raph?! To yourself- to your FAMILY. Don's right: you could've DIED last night! Does that even sink in to that thick skull of yours AT ALL?! Oops, wait a minute- of course it can't... IT'S DRENCHED IN ALCOHOL!"

"Leo, please," Raph moaned as he rubbed his pounding temples with this two green index fingers, "I know I did a bad thing, and I know you're a little angry-"

"A little," Leo huffed just before yelling, "A LITTLE?! I'M SO MAD, I-I... I'm so mad, I can't even SEE straight, Raphael!"

"I-I know," Raph groaned again, "A-and I learned my lesson: I was wrong! Just... just please stop yelling, okay? I-I think I've paid the price for my actions."

"Oh-ho," Leo chuckled heartily as a frown returned to his face, "You haven't even started paying, Raph. Not one cent."

"W-whaddya mean? I-"

And just as quickly as Raph began, he stopped. As a sudden realization shot into his mind, the pit of Raphael's stomach began to churn itself into a ball of anxiety.

'He couldn't,' Raphael thought, 'He wouldn't..."

"Leo," Raphael said quietly with his eyes wide with fear, "Y-you...You're not gonna tell Master Splinter... are you?"

For the first time that day, Leonardo was silent. He didn't answer, he didn't move- he didn't even flinch. All he could do was glare with those piercing blue eyes of his back at the weak, blood-shot eyes of his little brother. Then- after breathing deeply through his nostrils, and releasing a low cleansing sigh from his mouth- Leonardo replied to Raphael.

"You know, Raph," Leo began as the daggers in his eyes continued to pick at Raphael's soul, "I should tell him. I should tell him everything: from going Downtown alone against his wishes to getting drunk off your, and staying out past three in the morning. Because if he knew, you'd be getting the punishment you truly deserve- complete isolation, stripped of all your duties, totally dishonored. I've got a good mind to let Sensei completely ruin your life. And, I should tell him! I should tell him... but I won't. Not for your sake, but for his. You know why? Because if he ever knew what you did last night, I'm sure beyond a doubt that it would literally break his heart."

Raphael just bowed his head in shame. He couldn't face his brother. Who could after hearing that?

"He trusts us, Raph," Leo continued, "And last night, you broke his trust."

"I-I," Raph struggled to choke out as his red, veiny eyes welled up with tears, "I'm so...SO sorry."

"And you're gonna get even sorrier," Leonardo added as he grabbed his hung-over little brother by his plastron, "Because, Hamato Raphael, you are gonna remember this day as the worst day of your life! You understand?! It is going to be stuck in your thick little skull until the day your sorry shell burns in-"

"Good morning, my sons," the cheerfully elder voice of Master Splinter called as he approached the kitchen.

Setting Raphael back in his chair, Leonardo and the rest of the Heroes in a Half-Shell sat eloquently in their assigned seats by the breakfast table. With exaggerated smiles plastered across their faces, Master Splinter knew something was up.

"Er," the wise old rat murmured as the smiles stained across his sons' faces began to make him feel uncomfortable, "Good morning, my sons."

"Good morning, Sensei," Leo cheered in a widely overrated tone of happiness.

Surprised that their eldest brother- who had been relentlessly screaming all morning- was now smiling so wide that it was making the sun look dull, Donnie, Mikey, and Raph followed his lead.

"Mornin', Sensei," Mikey cried.

"Top of the day, Sensei," Donnie exclaimed as he held up his coffee cup.

"Hi, Sensei," Raphael barely muffled just before receiving a sharp elbow in the stomach by Leonardo; forcing Raph to reflexively reiterate a much brighter, "HI, SENSEI!"

"Well," Splinter said quietly, "You all seem in good... spirits. Are you all feeling well this morning? I must say, I heard a quite bit of chatter coming from the kitchen earlier-"

"Oh, we can explain that, Sensei," Leo intruded, "You see, Raphael was telling us all about an idea he came up with for our training exercises today."

"He was," the rat inquired, stroking his beard curiously.

"He was," Raph questioned flatly as he stared worriedly at Leonardo.

"Oh, Raph- quit being shy," Leo laughed as he kicked Raph in the shin from under the table; forcing the red-clad turtle to stifle a yelp of pain.

"Alright, Raph," Leo began, "If you don't wanna tell him, I will. You see, Sensei- Raphael figured that since we're growing older now- and, heck, it's a nice day, isn't it? Maybe today we could intensify our training today!"

"'Intensify'," Splinter beamed as his eyes grew wide to match his smile.

"'Intensify'," Raph groaned with question inflecting his voice.

"Oo, Raph: there was something else, wasn't there?"

"Er, y'know what, Leo- I think-"

"Oh, wait," Leonardo chimed as he silenced his brother by slapping his hand brutally on Raphael's left shoulder, "Now I remember! Doesn't this make sense, Master Splinter? Raph thought that since we're intensifying our training, it would only make sense if you extended our training, too!"

"'Extend'," Sensei cried excitedly.

"'Extend'," the other three turtles groaned.

Ignoring his brothers, Leonardo turned to his master.

"So, Sensei...whaddya think?"

"Well," the little rat hummed as he pondered on the thought for a minute, "I believe it is a brilliant idea!"

As his brothers began huffing groans of exasperation, Leo gently patted his master's head.

"Aw, Master Splinter," Leo cooed, "I'm so glad you like Raph's plan."

"Why, yes, I-"

Just as Master Splinter initiated a reply, he cut his own sentence off with a gasp. Startled by Raphael's blood-shot eyes, the little rodent-ninja quickly hurried to his ailing son.

"Raphael," Splinter exclaimed, "Your eyes! They are-"

"Uhhhhtired from lack of sleep, Sensei," Donatello interrupted quickly.

"Um, yes, Master Splinter," Leo chimed in, winking a subtle 'thank you' over at Donnie, "Raphael was so excited about this plan he thought up last night, he stayed up a little late."

"Ah, I see," Splinter huffed as he looked at Raphael sternly, "Most unwise, Raphael. Sleep, at your age, is essential."

"Hai, Sensei," Raph bowed: thankful that this was the only thing his father was to scold him about.

After patting his 'tired-eyed' son on the head, the wise rat made his way over to the dojo. However, just as he had reached his destination, Splinter stopped short. Tilting his head toward the ceiling, his pointed nose began to sniff the air as a ghastly odor invaded his senses.

"Aya," Splinter expectorated as he turned to his sons, "What is that awful stench?! It smells like-"

"-Mmmmyyy new cologne," Mikey piped up as he began deeply inhaling the pretend-scent of his nonexistent perfume, "Ooooo, I just love it! I call it...'Dumpster Desire.'"
"It is, er, interesting, Michelangelo," the ninja master replied as he pinched his nose, "But, eh... wear it in small doses. Now- you shall be set in the Dojo within the next ten minutes. Hai?"

"Hai, Sensei," the four turtles replied as their father exited the kitchen.

Once their faithful master was gone, Donatello and Michelangelo quickly looked at each other and frowned deeply at Raphael before smacking him upside the head simultaneously.

"Ow!"

"That's what you get for punishing us for your mistakes, Meathead," Donnie insisted.

"I-I didin't make us that stupid training idea," Raph replied rubbing the back of his head, "Leo did!"

"Yeah," Mikey added angrily, "But if you didn't go out and do all that stupid stuff last night, none of this would've happened. Still- it kinda stinks that we hafta pay for your dumb mistakes, dude."

Huffing angrily, Donatello and Michelangelo made there way toward the Dojo: leaving Raphael and Leonardo alone in the kitchen. Keeping his head turned from his eldest brother, Raphael grumbled audibly beneath his breath.

"The bone-head's right- that does stink," Raph muffled just loud enough for Leo to hear, "Why'd they have to get punished, too?

"It's just the way things go, Raph," Leo commented with a stern look on his face, "We're a team. If one of us does something good, we all get rewarded. And, unfortunately, it goes both ways."

Suddenly, a wave of concern washed over Leonardo's face- lifting his eyebrows and widening his eyes as he placed his forest green palm on his red-clad brother's shoulder.

"And a good team looks out for all it's players," Leo continued softly, "Even the hot-headed, danger-thirsty ones."

Though he tried with all his might, Raphael just couldn't hide the smirk that appeared on his face. Laughing quietly as well, Leo then tucked his smile away and brought out a frown of regret to stretch across his lips.

"Butcha know," Leo added with a tone of seriousness in his voice, "It's really up to the team's captain to make sure all his players are set for the game. A-and thank goodness nothing happened to you last night, Raph, because if something did... Well, it would be all my fault. What you've got to know is that if something should ever happen to you, I'd never forgive myself."

As Raphael watched his older brother speak, he noticed tears forming in the corners of each steel blue eye. Raph never really thought much about it, really: all the responsibility Leo had to own up to, looking after him and his brothers all the time. He always wanted to lead, but he never actually knew how much work it entailed. For the longest time, Raph used to only envy Leonardo... Now, he just admired him.

"Now- promise me," Leo continued as he sniffled gruffly; trying to disguise the fact that he was getting sappy, "And I mean really promise me, Raphael- that you will never... EVER... drink again. Because if you do... I will honestly kill you. Understand? Tell me you understand-"

"I-I swear," Raphael replied as he held two fingers high in the air and sharply traced an invisible 'x' over his heart.

With a burst of pride, Raphael couldn't help but give his big brother a good old-fashioned brotherly hug. Though little stunned at first, Leo shrugged and returned the favor with an equally brawly hug.

"I know that I'm supposed to get it from training," Raph said as he rose from the kitchen table, "But... thanks for the lesson."

"Sure," Leo replied with a smile, "But Raph?"

"Yeah?"

"You know you still have to train today, right?"

"Hey- it was worth a shot, wasn't it?"

As the clock chimed ten, the two brothers laughed quietly as they strolled into the Dojo for their training session.

"Ah, now the training can begin," Splinter exclaimed as his sons entered their place of practice, "Now- who would like to spar first?"

"You know, Sensei," Leo hummed slyly, "Raph and I were talking, and he insists that we go first!"

That was only the beginning! Raphael is very lucky that all days must come to an end: otherwise, Master Splinter might have kept the boys in green training all through the night. After the Bell of Dismissal chimed, the red-clad turtle rushed to the nearest facility, and immediately emptied out every fluid, solid, and internal organ from every opening his sick, hung-over body contained. As Raphael, dizzy and exhausted, did all of his funny business, he then tripped four times over the carpet and spent at least twenty minutes trying to locate his room. If would be easier, of course, if the room weren't spinning so much. At last- he had reached his destination.

"Oh, brother," Raphael moaned as he plopped into bed.

With his face turning green- or, at least, greener than usual- and his stomach in knots, Raph grabbed a pale blue trash can and laid it by his night stand. On top of the table inside a little glass bowl was none other than his faithful pet turtle, Spike. Staring at his master unappeased, Spike only chewed on his lettuce leaf as Raphael groaned.

"Ugh, Spike," Raph groaned with his head dangling over the side of the bed, "Don't...EVER...drink. It leads to nothin' but trouble."

"Well, I know that," a disembodied voice echoed, "I'm not an idiot like you!"

"W-what the-"

Shooting his head up abruptly, Raphael stared into Spike's bowl with a hint of curiosity in his eye.

"Didju jus'," Raph slurred before letting out a hiccup, "Oh, forget it."

And with a heavy yawn, Raphael drifted off into a sound sleep.