So, you probably all thought I'd gone off somewhere and died, eh? Not
quite, I entered high school is what; which you can probably argue is just
as morbid. But hey, I'm back now, and with a new batch of sardonic goodies
for all your impressionable little minds.
Enjoy.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The Fellowship Visits Fanfiction.net
Chapter 10. And All That Jazz
"Hey, do you think we could pull together a few moves? I was thinking along the lines of B2K or perhaps-" Pippin said excitedly, only to be cut off suddenly by the start of a new piece of music; though this time, none other than Aragorn and Legolas appeared, clad in some of the most *revealing* outfits that Elven law would allow.
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!!
Aragorn sashayed his shimmery skirt clad self towards the spotlight that had magically appeared out of nowhere, hair impossibly straight, red rouge stained lips singing, "C'mon, babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz?" His voice dropped to a thick brassy rasp.
"I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down," A soft, deep baritone joined in, the owner slinking beside Aragorn in a matching silver dress that was cut low in the front and dangerously high on the skirt, exposing fine, muscled thighs. Legolas, mimicking the motion of that which he just sang was highly unsuccessful in attempting to roll his stockings down. He had never worn contraptions of the like, and had difficulty achieving the sexy, mischievous looking he had intended.
"And all that jazz," breathed Aragorn. Legolas, finally having had enough of his stockings, bent over to yank them off, the slinky fabric of his outfit slipping and revealing his round bottom. This earned many ooh's and aah's from the audience, Pippin in particular, who had already had enough excitement for the day.
Legolas just regained his fabulous elven composure just in time to sing "Start the car, I know a whoopee spot!" Lightly smacking Aragorn's upturned bottom.
"Where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot!" The red-faced Aragorn proclaimed.
"It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl!" Legolas belted, shaking what dear daddy Thranduil gave him.
"And all that jazz!"
"Slick your hair, and wear your buckle shoes," Legolas winked, pulling a very startled and harassed looking Draco Malfoy still in school robes into the spotlight.
"What the bloody f-"
"And all that jazz!" Aragorn announced, spinning a disheveled Draco, who was cursing and making threats to tell his father, out of his limelight. The King of Gondor was not about to share with a Malfoy anytime soon.
"I heat that father dip, is gonna blow the blues, and all that JAZZ!" Legolas grinned, dancing in a way that was more than enough to upset the delicately fabric that had long forsaken its duty to cover.
"Hold on, hon! We're gonna bunny hug!" Aragorn sang, a rising crescendo with every syllable. He reached and spun Legolas into his arms.
"I bought some-"
Legolas was interrupted suddenly by a screech coming from an adjacent hallway.
"YOU BASTARD!! AND RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE WITH THE RESIDENT BITCH!!"
Apparently, Arwen's "Dear Daddy" had gotten sidetracked (as we have, no doubt, seen) once again on his mission to seek out the men that had caused his daughter much heartbreak and sorrow. T'was by his fault that poor, emotional Arwen witnessed the extent of their "infidelity" firsthand.
"YOU SSTOLE HIM! SSTUPID SSKINNY ELF! YOU BETRAYED USS! YOU SSTOLE HIM! MY HUSSBAND!!" Arwen shrieked, sound disturbingly like a certain Gollum they once knew.
"We were just-uhm," Aragorn stuttered, completely shell-shocked and unable to move from his position, much less remove his death grip around Legolas, who was currently turning fascinating shades of blue and purple.
"Liess! LIESS!!" Arwen hissed, shaking her dark locks in fury, face contorting in anger.
"A-Aragorn! Let go of me!" Legolas barely managed to choke out, scrabbling desperately at Aragorn's strong, manly arms. Aragorn sensed the vague, tickling sensation of soft, blonde hair brushing furiously at his chin, and looked down, his eyes widening even more.
"L-Legolas! Oh-I-I'm sorry!" He stammered, still too dumbfounded to move.
"Yes, thank you, kind ranger. Now if you'll please. Get. Off. ME!!" Legolas yelled, struggling against him once more, only to find the ground swiftly rushing towards him as he was suddenly released.
"ADA!!" Arwen now shrieked in a glass-breaking octave, wanting her daddy to come and help make her emotional boo-boo's all better.
The smooth, bad, and terribly white, Artist Formerly Known as Elrond came gliding in again, the remaining strains of techno-pop beats echoing from behind him.
"Yes, Ms. Undomiel?" The Artist Formerly Known as Elrond inquired in a tone fit for an evil virus plotting to overtake a computer-stimulated world.
"AARGH!!! HE SSTOLE HIM! WE HATESSS YOU!!" Arwen venomously pointed a finger at the accused now lying in a heap on the floor.
"Now, now Arwen. I'm sure in the massive expansive of our oceans there are plenty of other fish-"
"FISSH?! Did you ssay FISH?! We only wish, to catch a fish! So juicy SWEET!!" Arwen's shrill cry echoed around the hall. The crash of broken glass could be heard around the kingdom.
Down the hall Elrond had come from, another door banged open. A figure with tousled, dark hair and menacing figure strode out.
"What in Elbereth's name is going on here?!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Mwahaha, cliffhanger ^_^ Until the next time I update, which may very well be within the timespan of 1 day-8 months. When we'll continue, nobody knows. I'll try, I'll really, really try. But with my hectic schedule ahead, and only one behind to sit and type, there are guarantees to a swift update. Thank you all for your reviews! I have changed in the course of the past 7 months, as has my humour, and so will my stories, as you can see. It really is laughable to read some of the things we wrote way-back when, in our young and naïve minds. Haha, I'm rambling and reminiscing about the younger years already. Must be seriously getting old here. Haha, not physically, really, but hey, maturity is a mental state (something I've been well acquainted with these past 14 ¾ years of my life), as are many other things.
Send feedback, ideas for other chapters and tell me how ya like it! And all I'll see what I can do for ya next time! Bad a da duum! And all that Jazz!!
Enjoy.
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
The Fellowship Visits Fanfiction.net
Chapter 10. And All That Jazz
"Hey, do you think we could pull together a few moves? I was thinking along the lines of B2K or perhaps-" Pippin said excitedly, only to be cut off suddenly by the start of a new piece of music; though this time, none other than Aragorn and Legolas appeared, clad in some of the most *revealing* outfits that Elven law would allow.
FIVE, SIX, SEVEN, EIGHT!!
Aragorn sashayed his shimmery skirt clad self towards the spotlight that had magically appeared out of nowhere, hair impossibly straight, red rouge stained lips singing, "C'mon, babe, why don't we paint the town? And all that jazz?" His voice dropped to a thick brassy rasp.
"I'm gonna rouge my knees and roll my stockings down," A soft, deep baritone joined in, the owner slinking beside Aragorn in a matching silver dress that was cut low in the front and dangerously high on the skirt, exposing fine, muscled thighs. Legolas, mimicking the motion of that which he just sang was highly unsuccessful in attempting to roll his stockings down. He had never worn contraptions of the like, and had difficulty achieving the sexy, mischievous looking he had intended.
"And all that jazz," breathed Aragorn. Legolas, finally having had enough of his stockings, bent over to yank them off, the slinky fabric of his outfit slipping and revealing his round bottom. This earned many ooh's and aah's from the audience, Pippin in particular, who had already had enough excitement for the day.
Legolas just regained his fabulous elven composure just in time to sing "Start the car, I know a whoopee spot!" Lightly smacking Aragorn's upturned bottom.
"Where the gin is cold, but the piano's hot!" The red-faced Aragorn proclaimed.
"It's just a noisy hall, where there's a nightly brawl!" Legolas belted, shaking what dear daddy Thranduil gave him.
"And all that jazz!"
"Slick your hair, and wear your buckle shoes," Legolas winked, pulling a very startled and harassed looking Draco Malfoy still in school robes into the spotlight.
"What the bloody f-"
"And all that jazz!" Aragorn announced, spinning a disheveled Draco, who was cursing and making threats to tell his father, out of his limelight. The King of Gondor was not about to share with a Malfoy anytime soon.
"I heat that father dip, is gonna blow the blues, and all that JAZZ!" Legolas grinned, dancing in a way that was more than enough to upset the delicately fabric that had long forsaken its duty to cover.
"Hold on, hon! We're gonna bunny hug!" Aragorn sang, a rising crescendo with every syllable. He reached and spun Legolas into his arms.
"I bought some-"
Legolas was interrupted suddenly by a screech coming from an adjacent hallway.
"YOU BASTARD!! AND RIGHT UNDER MY NOSE WITH THE RESIDENT BITCH!!"
Apparently, Arwen's "Dear Daddy" had gotten sidetracked (as we have, no doubt, seen) once again on his mission to seek out the men that had caused his daughter much heartbreak and sorrow. T'was by his fault that poor, emotional Arwen witnessed the extent of their "infidelity" firsthand.
"YOU SSTOLE HIM! SSTUPID SSKINNY ELF! YOU BETRAYED USS! YOU SSTOLE HIM! MY HUSSBAND!!" Arwen shrieked, sound disturbingly like a certain Gollum they once knew.
"We were just-uhm," Aragorn stuttered, completely shell-shocked and unable to move from his position, much less remove his death grip around Legolas, who was currently turning fascinating shades of blue and purple.
"Liess! LIESS!!" Arwen hissed, shaking her dark locks in fury, face contorting in anger.
"A-Aragorn! Let go of me!" Legolas barely managed to choke out, scrabbling desperately at Aragorn's strong, manly arms. Aragorn sensed the vague, tickling sensation of soft, blonde hair brushing furiously at his chin, and looked down, his eyes widening even more.
"L-Legolas! Oh-I-I'm sorry!" He stammered, still too dumbfounded to move.
"Yes, thank you, kind ranger. Now if you'll please. Get. Off. ME!!" Legolas yelled, struggling against him once more, only to find the ground swiftly rushing towards him as he was suddenly released.
"ADA!!" Arwen now shrieked in a glass-breaking octave, wanting her daddy to come and help make her emotional boo-boo's all better.
The smooth, bad, and terribly white, Artist Formerly Known as Elrond came gliding in again, the remaining strains of techno-pop beats echoing from behind him.
"Yes, Ms. Undomiel?" The Artist Formerly Known as Elrond inquired in a tone fit for an evil virus plotting to overtake a computer-stimulated world.
"AARGH!!! HE SSTOLE HIM! WE HATESSS YOU!!" Arwen venomously pointed a finger at the accused now lying in a heap on the floor.
"Now, now Arwen. I'm sure in the massive expansive of our oceans there are plenty of other fish-"
"FISSH?! Did you ssay FISH?! We only wish, to catch a fish! So juicy SWEET!!" Arwen's shrill cry echoed around the hall. The crash of broken glass could be heard around the kingdom.
Down the hall Elrond had come from, another door banged open. A figure with tousled, dark hair and menacing figure strode out.
"What in Elbereth's name is going on here?!"
~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ * ~ *
Mwahaha, cliffhanger ^_^ Until the next time I update, which may very well be within the timespan of 1 day-8 months. When we'll continue, nobody knows. I'll try, I'll really, really try. But with my hectic schedule ahead, and only one behind to sit and type, there are guarantees to a swift update. Thank you all for your reviews! I have changed in the course of the past 7 months, as has my humour, and so will my stories, as you can see. It really is laughable to read some of the things we wrote way-back when, in our young and naïve minds. Haha, I'm rambling and reminiscing about the younger years already. Must be seriously getting old here. Haha, not physically, really, but hey, maturity is a mental state (something I've been well acquainted with these past 14 ¾ years of my life), as are many other things.
Send feedback, ideas for other chapters and tell me how ya like it! And all I'll see what I can do for ya next time! Bad a da duum! And all that Jazz!!