A/N: Hello lovely reader!
You didn't think you could get rid of me that easily, did you? :)
The following are the extended author's notes for each chapter. Enjoy! (or despise. The choice is yours)
Best wishes!
~Bethany
Chapter 1 - A Word From Your Author
a. Well, this whole chapter is an author's note, silly!
Chapter 2 – Sweet Daydreams
a. Black River Falls Wisconsin is the town that my family associates with strange happenings, incompetence, and general misery. It was in this tiny town in the middle of nowhere, that a deer ran out in front of my family's minivan, smashing in the hood of the car and completely ruining our vacation. My family then spent the next seventeen hours in the freezing cold, trying to find a way to get us all home safely. Eventually, one of my uncles drove out to pick up my mom, brother, and sister, while my dad and I drove home with the incredibly creepy punk-rocker/liquor store owner/tow truck driver. True story.
b. Writing Melanie's character is really fun because it's the personified equivalent of ranting.
c. The video referenced here is "LAHWDS" from ItsWayPastMyBedTime, uploaded January 8, 2013. It essentially inspired this story.
Chapter 3– Human Decency
a. I would conservatively estimate that 20% of YouTube RPF could not exist without the assumption that British people are incapable of carrying a cup of coffee ten feet without slopping it on an American.
b. Ophelia's character was the most fun to write because rambling is even more fun than ranting. You have to admit, she has a point about the jumper thing though…
Chapter 4 – Homophobia
a. I'd say about 70% of phanfics include a coming out scene. I tried to make mine as unromantic as possible.
Chapter 5 – The Morning After
a. There is much controversy on the internet over whether Dan and Phil live in an apartment or a house. Personally, I take great pride in not being obsessed enough to know the answer to that question. However, for the story I had to pick a side, and I went with the house theory because I've yet to see an apartment with stairs.
b. After I had decided on this theory, Dan uploaded his apartment tour video. At that point, I decided to play the American card and pretend that even though he calls it an apartment, we'd call it a house. Whether or not this is true, I'm sticking with it.
c. …and then I went back and changed "house" to "apartment" or "flat" because I couldn't stand being knowingly wrong :p
Chapter 6 – Coffee with Eeyore
a. As a rule, I don't swear, so it was weird for me to include swearing in this fic. However, it seemed incomplete without it, so… sorry Mom.
b. Unconsciousness is a ridiculously common theme in RPF, and I intend to exploit it for all it's worth.
c. I think Oriella is the most bearable OCs in this story, actually.
Chapter 7 – What are the Odds?
a. I learned a bit about Tourette syndrome for this fic – See Mom, I'm definitely doing homework!
b. I debated for a long time how to convey the shouting in the fic. At first I was worried that the all-caps looked unprofessional. Then I remembered that this entire fic is unprofessional, so I caps-locked to my little heart's content.
Chapter 8 – Release the Scurry
a. A group of squirrels is genuinely called "a scurry". Once I had learned this fact, I thought my life had been enriched so much that I had to find a way to work it into the story. Originally, Phil was just going to trip over a misplaced manhole cover.
(By the way, a group of rhinos is called "a crash", a group of hippopotamuses is "a bloat", and a group of ferrets is "a business", according to the Northern Prairie Wildlife Research Center's website.)
b. I don't exactly know what the assailants' accent is supposed to be… I just wanted to make them talk funny.
Chapter 9 – Pizza Rebellion
a. Logically, real life Dan and Phil must eat more than seven or eight foods, but you wouldn't get that from reading phanfics. I'm fairly sure the diet I've described in this story would give someone Scurvy…
b. I didn't intend to make any of the innuendos in this chapter. They just happened.
Chapter 10 – Not a Wuss
a. I've always doubted the sincerity of the "interesting name" compliment…
b. I know a girl like Oracle: unintentionally abusive.
Chapter 11 – Arguing with the Woozy
a. Olympia's strategy is a popular one. I think we all like to believe that we'd be the only sane person amid herds of fangirls. Statistically though, it's unlikely.
Chapter 12 – Unintentional Altruism
a. If you can't tell by now, I hate describing things and I'm not particularly fond of writing action scenes. Dialogue is my favorite part. Honestly, I'd be happy just writing a story about a group of witty, floating heads that requires no scene changes or physical descriptions. Alas, no one else seems to like that, so occasionally I have to break out of my bubble and write actual scenes.
b. The bystander part was the most fun part to write. They pretty much are floating heads.
c. In case anyone ever needs to know, this is proper CPR technique. Because I want to be a Special Education teacher, I had to get Red Cross certified in CPR, AED, and first aid for adults, children, and infants. It bugs me to no end when people portray it inaccurately on TV (*coughs* Doctor Who *coughs*) or in other forms of media.
Chapter 13 – They're Dropping Like Flies
a. The whole "American-visiting-London-for-a-week-and-bumping-i nto-her-favorite-YouTubers" is an extremely common theme in RPF. Its cousin, "American-studying-abroad-moves-in-next-door-to-he r-favorite-YouTubers", is also very common, but I couldn't work it into the story as well as the first one.
Chapter 14 – Rain, Rain, Go Away
a. "Whilst" is one of my favorite English words that is not part of the standard American vocabulary. I've tried to bring it back, but my peers seem content with boring old "while". On the same note, I debated for a long time whether I should write the fic in "American" or "British" (referring to the spelling changes and certain words like elevator/lift, sweater/jumper, trash/rubbish, while/whilst, and so on). In the end, I decided to go with what I was most familiar with for the spelling and the narration, but to try and use the appropriate terms in dialogue depending on who's speaking. I'm not promising I did it right, but I had two wonderful (and British) beta-readers to help me out.
b. The "thunderstorm" fic and the "bad dreams" fic are more or less the same. One character channels his inner six-year-old and seeks comfort in his companion's waiting arms. Again, I tried to make my interpretation as unromantic as possible.
Chapter 15 – Adapting
a. Oh look, a summary. Blah.
b. I maintain that people really can get used to anything if given enough time: we're remarkably adaptable.
c. I think people would buy that T-shirt.
Chapter 16 – Sword Drills
a. I swear, I've read Melanie's fic before. I think it's funny how straight shippers feel the need to provide an OC for each character so that no one gets lonely. I've always wondered what would happen if two best friends were to marry a set of identical twins… Even better would be if a set of identical twins married another set of identical twins. That would just be creepy. Imagine the cousins.
b. For anyone who did not grow up in Sunday school and youth group, sword drills are real. Not to brag, but I was pretty good at them.
c. The video referenced here is "How To Befriend Your Favourite Internet Stars" from danisnotonfire, uploaded November 10, 2009.
Chapter 17 – Wallowing
a. I feel it's important for me to clarify that I'm not making fun of depression at all. I'm merely poking some fun at the prevalent theme of at least half of RPF: that every single YouTuber is secretly depressed and suicidal because the person with whom he or she is most commonly shipped won't return his or her affection.
Chapter 18 – Leap of Faith
a. Of all the ways to kill yourself, jumping from a great height has to be the scariest. What if you change your mind part-way down?
b. The old woman's character is loosely-based on Daisy, my grandpa's former home health aide. She was awesome.
Chapter 19 – Social Rules
a. Again, I'm NOT making fun of depression or suicide. I'm making fun of pretending that people you've never met are secretly suicidal.
b. And, what fanfic is complete without a totally unrealistic YouTuber party?
c. My mom actually does the ice thing. It really works – no one seems to mind buying ice, and you get a good ten minutes to finish getting ready for your party. It's kind of brilliant.
Chapter 20 – Save Our Ship
a. Basically, I could put any two YouTubers together in this chapter and still have it seem realistic. Shippers are both undiscerning and relentless.
b. For the record though, every ship listed is real: including the hedgehog and inanimate objects.
Chapter 21 –Coming Out of the Closet
a. Hehe, they literally came out of the closet. See what I did there? You probably did; I'm not subtle. While we're on that subject, you did notice that all Mel's OC's have a first name starting with "O" and a last name starting with "C", right? Just checking.
b. YouTube Real Person Fanfiction Writers Anonymous, as far as I know, is not a thing. But maybe it should be.
Chapter 22 – Professional Help
a. Melanie's username is a rant in itself. What happened to originality?
b. As in other areas, I tried my best to strip the romance away from the obligatory Dan and Phil kissing scene.
c. If this fic had a background track, it would be "Meltdown!" by the Aquabats.
Chapter 23 – The Holy Scriptures
a. To my knowledge, neither The Book of Daniel nor the Book of Philip is currently in existence. And as that would be the creepiest thing ever, let's keep it that way.
Chapter 24 – So, We're Screwed
a. While at first, I thought I had come up with a perfect numeration system for the "Holy Books", just finding the two references used in this fic proved to be probably the most frustrating part of this whole experience. Oh. My. Goodness. There are so many jump cuts in Dan's videos.
b. The video referenced here is "I Will Go Down With This Ship" from danisnotonfire, uploaded June 21, 2012.
c. One of the "deleted scenes" from this fic includes Dan testing Jenny's ability to memorize his "scripture" (sort of like sword drills). Dan was going to ask her to recite Daniel 13:43 or something and Jenny would scoff at him and say that he can't have forty-three jump cuts in a video because he would induce seizures. The problem with that joke is that I severely underestimated how many jump cuts are actually in a video. For instance, in "I Will Go Down With This Ship", I counted ninety-eight. I have a whole new respect for editing.
d. I tried to include as many hashtags as possible in Mel's tweet. It would have been better if she posted it on Facebook though…
Chapter 25 – A Losing Battle
a. Yes, I did make the Mario Kart Wii game play out pretty much exactly like it does in Alex Day's song. Remember: I hate describing things. I take shortcuts when available.
Chapter 26 – Mayday
a. I like the word "hobbit-y".
b. "I love you and I'm not even gay" is one my favorite lines in this whole fic. Regardless of Dan and Phil's actual relationship, I hate the idea that platonic relationships are somehow not as good as or less important than romantic ones. You can "like" people without loving them, and you can love people without "liking" them. Just because you aren't sleeping with someone does not mean that your relationship with him or her is unimportant.
Chapter 27 – Serious Business
a. I really do write the cheesiest descriptions, don't I?
b. Once I finished uploading this entire fic, I went back to fix some typos. The "Emergency workers" have been preserved though, because they've sort of grown on me. Also, I'd just like to take a moment to state that everyone who wrote an explanation for them created "a fanfiction of a typo, in response to an author's note from a fanfiction parodying phanfiction". You guys are AWESOME :D
Chapter 28 – Think Like a Girl
a. Honestly, I don't know if you can tell what I'm like from my OCs or not. I tend to create ridiculously outgoing characters, when in reality I'm very shy and introverted in person. My theory is that I have the potential to really be that obnoxious, but my self-consciousness keeps it in check.
Chapter 29 – Inspiration
a. It was really hard for me to write about VidCon, as I've never been there and have pretty much no clue what it's like. Kind of like London, actually…
b. I picture Mel sitting somewhere in the hotel, desperately trying to write the tragic ending but at the last moment, crumpling up the paper in frustration, which allows Dan and Phil to dodge another danger.
c. While writing this section, my Google search history included such queries as: "common ways to commit suicide", "tragic deaths", and "funny ways to kill people". I share a computer with my family.
d. I just really wanted a falling piano in this fic.
Chapter 30 – Just a Story
a. Mel's last fic was one of the easiest parts to write, possibly because I have read at least ten fics with this story line.
Chapter 31 – Don't You Dare
a. I'm not a very emotional person, but the line "I'm coming to get you" actually made me choke up. I guess we all want to think that someone would come to get us in that situation.
Chapter 32 – Elevating with the Enemy
a. One of the cardinal rules of RPF is, "If there is an elevator in the fic, then someone must get stuck in it".
Chapter 33 – A Few Choice Words
a. It would be pretty terrifying to be in Mel's position, wouldn't it? I felt kind of sorry for her…
b. I enjoyed writing the disclaimer. I like to see how formally I can word things.
Chapter 34 – Complexly Imagining
a. I really wanted to include a traveling mattress salesman in the fic. No reason; I just thought it was a hilarious concept.
b. I really wanted to work in one more line for John, but in the end, it didn't really fit. I wanted him to say, "The world is not a wish-granting factory… but apparently Cadbury's is"
c. For the record, I love John Green books. I just couldn't help myself
d. I apologize if the ending is too sappy. It was probably the hardest part of the whole thing because I didn't know how much Mel should mature over the course of the story.
e. Thank you so much for sticking around to the end! This was a blast to write and I really learned a lot along the way. I hope you enjoyed it!