(A/N) Just a little oneshot devised from a line in my other story Siriusly High on Stars.

Disclaimer: I am no J.K. Rowling (if only!)

In all of his time at Hogwarts, Sirius Black had never seen a stranger sight. This sight befuddled him in ways you, reader, cannot conceive. Many a man had tried and failed to do what this sight had done to him. Many a man had tried and failed to pull off this sight, never mind make Sirius Black weak-kneed. Let's rewind a bit.

Remus Lupin rarely ever got new clothes. Remus Lupins' clothes were patched and sewn over time to look like a walking scarecrow. When he had money he would save it in case of an emergency and had so far made a grand total of three galleons six sickles and twenty four knuts.

It was a Hogsmeade weekend, in November, and all the student were grabbing bags of galleons and sickles and making their way down the snowy path and into the small, yet bustling, town.

Remus clasped a small tin, once used for old chocolate frogs, in his hands and made his way down to the common room. The tin was small and round, about the size of a baked beans tin, with faded writing etched down the side in red font over a green backing. 'Walter Waterberrys' Quality Chocolate Frog Legs' it said. Waterberry was found as a fraud after many people eating his chocolate frogs legs complained of food poisoning; it was later discovered that the frogs were laced in large quantities of aniseed, Walter admitted to doing this to help people cure sore throats therefore making them buy more, and they were taken off the market. How no one had noticed he taste was beyond Remus; then again, sweets weren't what they are now back then.

Making his way through Hogsmeade, Remus arrived at a cheap, yet good quality, tailor shop. the shop was the smallest one in Hogsmeade and was squashed between a book shop and an antiques shop. It would be nearly impossible to notice if you didn't know it was there.

Smiling, Remus walked inside.

They were a lot tighter than he had thought. The trouble with that shop was that it had no changing rooms, a lot of guess work was needed.

Now, when Sirius was staring at him, wide-eyed and slack-jawed, Remus felt very self-conscious.

"Bloody hell."

"I knew it! I shouldn't have bought them!"

"Bloody hell!"

"Okay, i got the idea the first time; it was a waste of money."

"Bloody h-"

"OKAY, you can stop saying that now!"

"Moony, it's just...bloody hell, how is this possible?" Sirius stood and started pacing, "How? This goes against all rules of life, just, HOW?"

"Sirius..."

"How is this even possible?"

"Sirius..."

"I think my brain is melting; running out of my ears and on to the cold hard ground below!"

"Sirius will y-"

"This is just impossible. This is being-chased-down-the-length-of-the-Hogwarts-Expre ss-by-an-Elecatoraffe-after- your-ham-sandwich-even-though-it's-a-vegetarian impossible!"

"What the hell is an Elecatoraffe?"

"This just defies all logic and replaces it with leather clad donkeys playing hopscotch on an RAF propeller."

"SIRIUS!" that got his attention, "What the hell are you on about?"

"Moony...you look sexy."

"Wha-"

"Nobody, I mean NOBODY, looks sexy in BROWN TROUSERS!"

"Well, they're a bit tight."

"Hell yeah! Skin tights more like it but DAMN Remus! How do you do it?"

"Do what?"

"Defy logic like you do?!"

"I really have no idea."

Sirius raked his eyes over Remus' lower half and suddenly, he had a very big problem he had to take care of.

"Oh." He said, genius.

"'Oh?'" Remus mimicked.

"I, um, have to go do something...in the dorms...alone...now..."

He ran up the stairs to the dorms and shut the door with a sigh of relief. Right. Now he had to take care of his problem.

Remus stood down in the common room smirking. It had worked.

Ahhhhh! Love Remus like this! R&R please?