Easter Fools

A Rise of the Guardians Fanfiction

by Tomoyo-chan

Disclaimer: I do not own ROTG.

"You're really rushing this this year, huh? You jumped right over April. You're lucky she's like me - the good-natured and forgiving sort."

" You've never been one to forgive."

"What are you talking about - I forgave you for '68."

"Wha- what are you talking about, you nutter! I'm the one who should be forgiving you for that."

"Aw, you have no idea how happy it makes me to hear you forgive me."

"Th-That is not what I said. You get back here, Snowcone."

"You have to catch me first. Race you to the Warren. Whoever looses has to take a bath in the dye rivers."

"I'm not- Jack! Give that back! Egg bombs are not- now look what you've done! We both look like we fell in the river."

"More like we were out killing unicorns."

"Jack."

"Sorry."

"..."

"Can I at least talk about how ironic it is that the last Pooka on Earth has a personality that would drive away any girl Pooka in a 500 mile radius?"

"No."

"..."

"What do you know about girl Pooka's anyway. You've never met one."

"I know they wouldn't like you."

"You're such a great friend. I'll have you know I'm a fine specimen of male Pooka."

"A fine specimen of something."

"You say something, Jack?"

"Nope."

"Really need to get all this paint off before it dries. Come on Frostbite, I'll shove you under a waterfall."

"Bunny?"

"Hm?"

"Are you really?"

"Really what?"

"My friend."

"When you aren't calling me a kangaroo, sure."

"But you are a kangaroo."

"Rabbit. Say it with me. Ra-bbit."

"Kan-ga-roo."

"You know what, Snowcone? You can get all the paint out yourself."

"Aw, come on Bunny, what's a little fun between friends?"

"I'm going to regret ever telling you that, aren't I?"

"Every damn day."

"I would have preferred the Groundhog."

"Seriously, that was your choice before me? I'm insulted. Why would you take that wind-bag before the greatness that is me?"

"Because he at least doesn't doesn't come near my holiday."

"I thought you forgave me for that."

"If that's what you want to think, go ahead. I won't stop you."

"Thanks. I think I will."

"... I think I will shove you under a waterfall."

"It will only freeze."

"With you in it."

"Yeah- hey! Did it once, not something I want to repeat. Being a re-animated corpse isn't easy you know. You have to shuffle whenever you walk, and mumble all the time, and keep saying 'brains~' in a funny voice."

"Isn't that zombies?"

"Yeah."

"Yep. Going home. Have fun getting the paint out."

"Good to see you too, Kangaroo."

"Rabbit!"

I knew Easter was really early this year, but I only just realized it was the day before April Fool's and thus this. Yeah, I have no idea either why they refuse to make an entrance yet still keep talking. And arguing. And - in Jack's case - joking. Though mass murder jokes are still out, even if he jokes about being a corpse. How did this get so depressing right in the middle? They wouldn't stop talking, that's what. I literally saved this as "Easter (Also known as 'Why won't everyone stop talking')".

April was supposed to be a much larger part than just one line when I first started writing this. Why won't they do as I say? Enjoy my rant.

~Tomoyo-chan