MINNA! This is my first fan-fiction ever… please understand that there may be punctuation, spelling and grammar mistakes as I am not a published author with editors to do my bidding. Nor am I the almighty Hiro Mashima with an unhindered imagination that spontaneously combusted the world of Fairy Tail. In short, I am not the owner of Mashima-senpai's brain vomit. Although I thoroughly wish I was…

ANYWHOOO, please be kind to my baby. I have so many ideas for FT and so short of an attention span to start any of them (as they will most likely end up as multiple chap. Fics) So I am attempting a one-shot for now. You know what they say, never bite of more than you can chew…unless it's a piece of Strawberry cake, and your name is Erza. Then by all means, please bite as large *or small* as you would like. Just don't Erza-chop my head. GOMEN!

Weird Science-Part I

Natsu stood in place, utter shock written clear across his face. For the first time in his life, he was 100% speechless. Sure he'd been in situations like this before and managed to come out on top (no pun intended…) but this was ridiculous!

Earlier that Day

It was early in the morning and the sun had barely peeked through Lucy's window before she had woken up. The blistering heat of summer was already making her restless. Sweat drenched every part of her body and her hair clung lifelessly to her scalp. She tossed and turned in her usually heavenly bed, praying to Mavis for a few more moments of blissful sleep. The sun, however, had other plans as it emitted rays of light and obnoxious heat all throughout her room at an alarming rate. It took only five minutes for the temperature in her room to spike nearly 10 degrees…or so it seemed.

The blonde spirit-mage peeled the heavy sweat soaked sheets off her body and then her clothes as stumbled blindly into her bathroom. She reached into her shower and cranked the nob marked "cold" to full blast and hopped in. The cold droplets of water landed on her head and made a leisurely trail down her long neck, over her shoulders, and got lost between the soft crevices and not-so-subtle curves of her body.

She ran her hands all over her body as if to attempt to absorb the cool water. Her neck tilted back to feel the waterfall splay upon her face and soak her completely. Ice cold droplets trickled deliciously across every inch of her skin and she shivered in delight. A moan of relief escaped her lips as her blood cooled as well as her oddly heated temperament.

"Ahh," She sighed, "Much better!"

Lucy hopped out of the shower not bothering to wrap a towel around her soaking wet body, favoring air drying to counter the heat wave that Magnolia and succumbed to the past few days. Opening the door that led back to her room slightly, she peeked around to assure herself that a pink haired buffoon had not snuck in while she showered.

After a moment of dead-silence, Lucy was fully convinced the dragon-slayer known as Natsu had not broken into her home … yet. She then opened the door the rest of the way and walked as casually as a nude woman could back into her bedroom. The hot dense air no longer suffocated her but breezed delicately across her skin, caressing her lightly and evaporated her heated skin's flush.

In favor of her new found exhibitionism, she continued into her kitchen and headed towards the fridge. Pulling out the carton of orange juice that was nearly done for, she decided against grabbing a glass, brought the opening to her parched lips and drained its contents in a languid gulp. A small droplet escaped her lips and followed her jaw line along her delicate throat and then lost itself in the crevice of her impressive cleavage. The cold air from the open refrigerator sent shivers along her spine, so she used her hip to bump the swinging door shut. A soft thud followed and Lucy watched with amusement as her massive breasts bounced and bobbled in the wake of the force she had used.

"This is kind of fun…" She giggled to herself.

"What is fun Lucy?" a voice called from her bedroom.

Realizing immediately the owner of that smooth baritone voice, Lucy ducked behind the kitchen island and frantically searched in vain for something to cover herself. Damn him! She thought. Damn him to the deepest darkest depths of HELL! That fire-breathing bastard had to come and barge on in the one morning she decided to go au-natural. Screw Hell, that place is filled to the brim with fire, he'd probably have a freaking ball there…Damn him! Damn him to … EDOLAS! Yeah, he can't use his magic there so HA!

BAKKKKKKAAAAA!

Knowing the immense power behind the nose of a dragon-slayer, Lucy knew she had about thirty seconds to move before she came face to face with the pink haired buffoon. If she timed it just right, she could manage a surprise "Lucy Kick" when he came into the kitchen and duck into her bedroom before he could even notice her tits and ass were on display. GENIUS! she thought to herself.

The naked blonde crawled over to the door that separated her kitchen from her bedroom and awaited the uninvited intruder, silently daring him to continue into the room she was lurking in. As soon as she caught a glimpse of tanned skin and pink hair she pulled back her leg and connected it directly with Natsu's face.

The man in question flew several feet back, landing on her coffee table and cracking it in half. A sacrifice that had to be made she thought. As the fire-mage lay unconscious on her floor, she sauntered proudly into her room. A few moments later Lucy returned to the kitchen stepping over the incapacitated Natsu dressed in a flimsy white eyelet skirt and bikini top.

She nudged his shoulder with a dainty sandal clad foot and elicited a groan.

"What in the HELL was that for?!" He growled.

"I have a door… use it." Was all she offered in reply as she walked out her front door to set an example, swaying her hips the whole time.

"Wait for meeeeeee." He whined after her, clutching his bloody nose.

Natsu's POV

Natsu awoke from a wonderful dream he swore Mavis herself had sent to him for being the almighty powerful dragon-slayer he was. He had been floating among a sea of clouds, soft and heavenly in warmth that was strangely familiar. His eyes were focused on the starry skies when they began to form themselves into a human-like shape. Seconds later the fire breather was face to face with his loyal partner, Lucy.

She reached her hand out to him and gave a flirtatious wink, scantily clad in a bikini top and a sorry scrap of white material she probably called a skirt. Her full supple thighs were pulled together as one leg tucked itself behind the other. The goddess leaned forward and licked her luscious pink lips deviously before whispering six simple words.

"Let me show you the stars."

It took several moments for the fire-mage to realize the heavenly cloud he dreamt he laid on was actually Lucy's bed. Memories of last night returned, he had been far too tired to walk all the way home and Happy had been preoccupied with Carla so he stumbled on to his favorite home known as Lucy's.

He peeked above the thick blanket that was heaped over him. Funny he remembered tucking Lucy in underneath the pink down-filled comforter when he snuck in last night. He stretched his lax muscles and yawned. Snuggling closer to the delicious scent that radiated from the bed he swore Mavis herself made for him, he let out a content sigh. He broke into Lucy's house many times for many reasons but her bed, and the scent she radiated had to be near the top. It engulfed this house in warmth and light and … hope.

The faint smell of strawberry shampoo reached his acute sense of smell and the dragon slayer tensed. She was showering…that meant she was naked in the next room, and she was most certainly going to come in here to change. Mavis knows how he managed to escape her when she woke up this morning. If he was caught a swift Lucy Kick was sure to come…Think Natsu…THINK!

"mmmmnnnngggh"

His body went still as he heard the pleasured moan drift from the occupied bathroom to his ears. What is she doing? He asked himself before quickly shaking the question from his train of thought. HIDE BASTARD HIDE! He screamed inwardly.

Realizing that he was encompassed in a mass of fluffy pink blankets a sly smile drew across his dark lips, fangs slightly piercing the supple skin. Like a dragon in its cave, he burrowed deeper in the blankets as he heard the squeaking turn of the faucet shutting the water off. A small slit in the blankets remained giving him approximately 60% visibility of the bedroom.

The bathroom door squeaked open ever so slightly. A pair of mocha brown eyes swirling with warmth peered through the small crack. He could hear that she had held her breath, straining to see if she could notice any foreign life within the "Sacred" confines of her bedroom.

She let out a sigh of relief before opening the door the rest of the way. Natsu would have slightly chuckled to himself had he closed his eyes or drifted his gaze anywhere away from her, but he held his line of sight intently on her as always.

Her body glowed as the sun's rays caused the droplets of water on her skin to glisten, each one like a diamond, faceted to perfection. Her curves dipped and swayed in ways he had never imagined. The dragon-slayer had seen his partner scantily clad and left in tattered clothes that left little to the imagination, but this…this was something entirely different. This was transcendent.

She sauntered through her room and paused for a moment, her dripping hair left newly found drops of dew to trail down the delicate line of her spine and the delectable arch of her back. Her full round supple … fuck it JUICY ASS swayed to and fro as she glided long leg after long leg leading her to her kitchen.

Not daring to make a sound he nimbly crawled to the edge of the bed to catch another glimpse of the goddess. She opened the fridge and he watched with a hunger he'd never known before as the slender limbs moved with purpose.

Her soft porcelain like skin stretched feather-soft across muscle and lingering baby fat. He would never admit it out loud but he loved that about her, the youthful features and child-like glory that she exuded every time she discovered something new and spectacular. He always wanted to pinch her cheeks…or bite her thick behind.

As she pulled a carton of orange juice to her lips her body turned slightly and he noticed a small drop escape her full pink lips and trail down her throat. His mouth went dry as he followed that lucky drop down her collarbone into the deep crevice between her two massive breasts. He would do anything to be that drop of OJ, even admit defeat to Gray even though everyone would know it would know it's a lie he told himself.

It was just then that he realized that she wasn't wearing a bra, or scantily clad top, or a tattered battle torn top….she was topless. Her creamy white mounds swayed slightly as she finished the gulp of orange juice and smacked her lips, a sigh of contentment following soon after.

The blonde beauty arched her back in a languid stretch and Natsu's nose began to bleed as the pale soft flesh stretched against her stomach and accentuated the curves underneath those beautiful bountiful breasts. His mouth watered at the idea of taking her nipple in his mouth and suckling on it, grazing his razor sharp canines delicately against the darker flesh, probing his tongue along every crevice and crease, seeking each dip and sway of flesh her body had to offer.

The curvaceous blonde in question then did something to nearly K.O. the almighty Salamander for the first time in all his years. She swayed one swollen thigh to the left and then her right cheek connected with the open door of the refrigerator door causing it to close with a mild thump. Her ass jiggled and it brought images of him pounding himself deep within her causing those same wakes.

Mavis help him. He felt feral watching her massive breasts bob and sway from…whatever force made things bob and sway and jiggle and do whatever her body was doing. He felt like she was a lamb ripe for the picking and he was a ravenous wolf … Finding the salvation in her warm holy depths; that would be sure to suck him deep within and consume his fire with a drenching yet flammable passion that would cause him to spontaneously combust!

"This is kinda fun…." She giggled in the way that made his fire blaze deep within.

"What is fun Lucy?" The words slipped out before he even realized it.

He watched her from behind as she ducked beneath the island counter in her kitchen and peeked her gorgeous eyes above the top. The weird girl never even noticed he was here. He chucked to himself as he climbed off the bed. The dragon-slayer already knew he was going to get a Lucy Kick no matter what he already had enough offenses piled up in one large lump sum so he decided to get it over with.

He grinned to himself as he admitted that the show was well worth the price. It was as cheap as an "Erza Chop: Motion Sickness Remedy" he'd received from time to time. He heard her breathing next to the doorway and pulled in a breath of hesitation as he passed the threshold into the kitchen.

"LUCY KIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIICK!"

He didn't know how long he was out, he only remembered seeing stars. The dragon slayer awoke to find his dream-like Lucy scantily clad and ready for him to devour.

"What in the HELL was that for?" he growled trying to mask his lust and need for her and failing.

"I have a door," she flicked her hair as she turned allowing her supple skin to display deliciously before him. "Use it." She said as she turned and knowingly set an example for him, leaving the door open for him to follow suit.

Not one to back down from a challenge, the dragon slayer chased after her swaying hips aching and throbbing and twisting inside to catch her.

"Wait for meeeeeeeeeeeeee!"

That was far to much longer than I intended it to be…so To Be Continued… As episode 175 I mean COME ONNNNNNNNNN! I am having a heart attack thinking Fairy Tail could be over. People buy the stuff…please its worth it. High quality and no need for internet and searching for good links. I am a former offender so I should know….anyways….

Please R&R because I would like honest opinions. Flame away if needed. Criticism is always welcomed here.

Onto Weird Science-Part II

-.- Natsu quit eating the stove top fire

. BUT ITS DELICIOUS. NICE AND OILY…..OI LUSSSSSHY YOU'D LLLLLLLLLLIKE IT!

T-T BAKKKKKAAAAA! YOU ARE NOT HAPPPY!