Setting: Hogwarts Castle and no one, not even the authors, are sure why. Suddenly, everyone's favorite demigod comes face to face with everyone's favorite warlock.
Percy: Who are you?!
Merlin: Who are you?
Percy: Perseus Jackson, Son of Poseidon, Defeater of Kronos. Yeah, beat that title.
Merlin: I am Merlin Ambrosius Myrddin Emrys, most powerful warlock of all time, king of the druids, and the last dragonlord. If anyone asks, though, I'm King Arthur's manservant. F*** what!
Percy: *snickers* Man Servant?!
Merlin: Yeah, got a problem with my day job? And Son of Poseidon? *rolls eyes* You're mental.
Percy: I am a f***ing DEMIGOD! You want a fight warlock?! Bring it!
Merlin: I've fought worse than you, kid! Bring it! I'm f***ing Emrys!
Percy: NICO!
Merlin: Calling your little friend to help?
Percy: DEMIGODS UNIT! *Nico shows up*
(enters Nico.)
Nico: What?!
Merlin: Please, I can take you kids down with one curse.
Nico: *makes a hole open up and Merlin just jumps out of the way* You're so going down!
Merlin: I'm immortal, death boy! *dragon talks* Here's Aithusa, my baby dragon. DIE FROM HER CUTENESS!
(enters Aithusa)
Nico: Ah, mommy, help! *screams*
Percy: Oh, come on Nico! *rolls eyes*
Aithusa: Hi, I'm Aithusa! Merlin's my mommy, 'cause he hatched me! You wanna be my friend?
Merlin: (under his breath) Not helping…..
Percy: NOOOOO!
Merlin: You dead from her cuteness?
Percy: Nope not really. Now eat my awesome water powers!
Merlin: *eye roll* I'm EMRYS. I can control the elements too.
Nico: So can I! *makes a skeleton comes out of the ground and makes it start dancing*
Merlin: *dragon talk* Kilgharrah! Can you toast these motherf***ers?
Percy: You say what now?!
(enters Kilgharrah)
Kilgharrah: Hello, young warlock. I see you've made some new friends…..I foresee-
Merlin: Can you just skip the destiny talk and roast them?
Kilgharrah: Very well…*breathes fire*
Percy: Water powers activate! *Takes out bottle of water and throws it at them*
Merlin: What sorcery is this?! A bottle made out of plastic? That hasn't been invented in my time!
Percy: Dude, seriously?
Merlin: What? I live in the freaking Middle Ages. We even use chamber pots. *shudders*
Nico: Awkward!
(enters Gwaine, as Kilgharrah and Aithusa sink into the background)
Gwaine: It's not the best but it's all we have.
Merlin: Gwaine! What are you doing here?!
Gwaine: I wanted to meet your new friends.
Merlin: They're not my friends!
Percy: Yeah, we're not his friends!
Nico: What kind of name is Gwaine?
Gwaine: An awesome one. *pulls out sword*
Percy: *uncaps Riptide*
Nico:*pulls out sword*
(enters Percival, Arthur, Elyan, and Lancelot's ghost behind him. Leon, because the authors forgot him, is not there.)
Percival: I have a sword too!
Percy: Who are you?
Percival: Sir Percival, a.k.a Percy!
Nico: Ugh! Not another one!
Merlin: Percival, what are doing here?
Percival: The whole Round Table is here! Even Lancelot!
Merlin: But he's dead!
(Lancelot's ghost waves)
Arthur: Who are these kids?
Merlin: Long story
(the group then turns, seeing Percy and Percival in a heated discussion)
Percy: THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE!
Percival: But my name's Percy too!
Nico Ugh! Okay, if I kill one of you, will you both shut up?
Percy: YES!
Percival: NOOOOOOOO! *runs away*
Merlin: (mutters) That was anti-climactic.
Arthur: Well, okay then.
Merlin: Hey, Percy, wanna call a truce and ditch these losers? I'm in the mood for frozen yogurt, even if it hasn't been invented in my time yet.
Percy: Yeah, I could go for some fro yo. *skips away, arm intertwined with Merlin's*
(exits Percy and Merlin)
Nico: Percy, you're leaving me here?!
Arthur: Merlin! You're just gonna abandon us?
Gwaine: *shrugs* Let's just go get slushies.
Nico: No way, weird guys in tights. I'm outta here!
(exits Nico)
Gwaine: Still wanna get slushies?
Arthur: Yeah. *looks down* Why'd that kid say we were wearing tights?
Gwaine: *shrugs* I don't know, but let's go!
Kilgharrah: *steps forward*
Gwaine and Arthur jump onto Kilgharrah (not questioning why there's a dragon there) and ride off in search of a slushie machine. Aithusa flies off somewhere else.
Elyan: So, I'm all alone now…
Lancelot's Ghost (appearing out of the shadows): I wouldn't say that.
(Nico enters again, because he forgot his sword)
Nico: Oh my gods! A shade! How'd you escape the Underworld? I have to take you back. *drags Lancelot down into Underworld*
Elyan: Finally, free of those idiots!
A/N: Okay, this was stupid and pointless. My cousin and I got bored on Easter and we did this. She was mostly Percy and his crowd and I was Merlin and company. If some crazy person wants us to continue (I doubt it) we might.